Triumphing over Trauma

I’ve written many times on here referring to my personal motto and mission statement which is “Triumphing over Trauma”. After this last eclipse, a week of deep healing through shadowwork, I feel I have turned a real corner and stepped into my power in a very stabilizing way! This revelation makes my heart sing my dear readers. I’ve finally put the past ten years in the rear view mirror and forgiven myself for ALL of it.

A dear friend and follower on here, http://davidsdailydoseorg.wordpress.com/ commented on my last post, “Short and sweet” about shame and it really got me thinking. Thank you David for your thoughtful and insightful comment because it got me thinking, how much shame have I allowed others to place upon me, how much did I absorb and take responsibility for of which I shouldn’t have. Well, the answer to that is a lot! Last week, I revisited many of the precipitating events and decisions that I made surrounding my divorce and the subsequent decision to move away from my children in order to find myself, thus saving my own life! That decision was the most difficult I have ever made in my life and I have beaten myself up over it for most of the past ten years.

It’s taken being reconnected with my oldest son Ty to truly see the young man he has become to say to myself, Maria, you did a good job! He’s ok and you’re ok. Miles, my youngest will be ok too despite the fact that we are still mostly estranged. Releasing myself from the shame of being a bad mother or abandoning my children (placing then in the full time care of my ex-husband) has lifted a HUGE and heavy weight off my shoulders. I raised them for their most important formative years, Ty until he was 11 and Miles until he was 6. I have expressed to many of my closest friends, family and numerous therapists that leaving them felt like I would die. I spent years in a depressive state, completely not functioning. In the midst of my sorrow, I met my fiancé who is the love of my life. He has told me many times that I was putting an undue strain upon myself by carrying the whole of the responsibility regarding the breakdown of my marriage. It’s taken this past year of deep introspection, this pandemic and all the sudden life altering changes for me to finally see that! Lord God above, thank you for finally helping me to release that self induced burden and for giving me the strength to forgive myself to move on with this next chapter of my life.

What a chapter that has started to be my dear readers! I’ve reconnected with my son Ty, healed old wounds with my parents and my sisters, learning a new career in the art of energy healing and self publishing two books of poetry since April! Yes my dear readers, I’m really excited to announce that I released “My Heart’s Song” on Amazon over the weekend! I haven’t had any book signing events for any of my three books, I don’t employ a literary agent, pay for adverting but I have plans to start hitting the pavement in a real way to push my work. I’m extremely proud of myself for the work I have accomplished and in a few weeks I will be doing an interview with a dear friend and healer who hosts the podcast, ‘The Art of Aliveness” on Spotify. I have referenced Chrissy Marie in past posts and praised her magic. She is a force of nature, so wise and welcoming with her presence and essence of sisterhood. I just adore everything I have taken part in that she facilitates! I will keep you my dear readers posted on when that interview is up but for now, here is her latest episode.

“Art of Aliveness”

In celebration of Father’s Day, my family and I went out for an Italian dinner at my parent’s favorite spot. My Dad is 100% Itialian and going out to eat is our family’s favorite way of getting together! We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and I must say this is the first time I had gotten dressed this fancy since March and worn lipstick! I don’t usually wear a lot of makeup daily anymore since I stopped managing the boutique but I do love lipstick because it really embodies everything feminine and is just FUN💄

Feelin sassy
The Praticos
Ty & I

I know it’s only a matter of time before my partner and I are reunited here in Florida and then my heart will really soar! In the meantime I feel like singing from the rooftops “look out world because this woman is Triumphing over Trauma”! I continue to create, sing to my favorite Grateful Dead tunes while I ride my bike and smile through it all😁

Please check out my 3 books of poetry available on Amazon at the links below📕

16 thoughts on “Triumphing over Trauma”

  1. Thanks for the pingback/shout out, or whatever it’s called in the blogging world when you mention a fellow word traveler. I’m glad my thoughts about unearned shame resonated with you. They come from experience. Twenty years ago, I left my three sons in the care of their mother and returned to my roots to save myself. I knew I had to do that first before I could be of any real help to my boys. But it was hard. Today, they are all grown and pretty much on their own. We don’t talk as much as I’d like, but I love them and I know they love me. Blessings with in your journey and with your latest book!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh wow David!!! We have traveled the same path and emerged triumphant🎉
      For me that’s what life is all about, our connections with one another. Seeing something you can relate to and reminding each other to love ourselves. I thank you so much🙏
      I appreciate your kindness and support and am pretty dang excited about my books😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You look great in the photos!! YAY!!

    Yeah, I hate shame. I think one thing that really helped me was a book: “It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion” by Beverly Engel.

    We need to enter into an era of annihilating shame!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy Father’s Day, to your dad. Mothers are so hard on themselves, when a child doesn’t reciprocate; all the love and affection, of a mothers heart. But in time, the love will come back. When you don’t, give up the faith! Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YES my dear, BELIEVE that because I spent 9 yrs searching, growing and healing. It’s only in this last year that I have found myself and experience true joy, peace and freedom!! It’ll happen I just know it😉🙌🌈📕💖

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have so much to say and yet so little too. Shame is an ongoing struggle in my life’s past and I am constantly finding myself gulping down the guilt for no reason. I had to compliment you; you are gleaming, and I can see the happiness glow. You look happy, Ty has brought out an extra layer of love in you(if it’s even possible). Sending you love, light and hugs. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sending you so much love my dear friend🥰
      I really feel you can tell exactly what’s going on for me. YES💜💜💜 hugs and love my dear😘
      It all unravels in due time, keep going👍

      Liked by 1 person

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