Hello my dears 😁 this post comes to you from my very big heart in hope’s of reaching you all while you’re keeping yourselves cool, calm and collected in the midst of where our world finds itself today🌎 I for one have really locked into all the blessings this release of time has provided me here at home. Being free to connect deeper with my soul through meditation, sound healing, dance, yoga and writing of course has allowed all the high and low feelings to flow on through! Today I awoke with such an overall feeling of gratitude for what I do have in my life today.
Life presents us with many choices and as I heal from the trauma I once endured, I can clearly see more and more what my soul’s mission here truly is. A dear friend of mine, Lindsey Luna (aka @soul.healing.with.luna on Instagram) once told me my heart is like a vortex, I love in a big way and on bold level. Through my writing, a friendly smile and a listening ear I am here to help others. This same woman helped me heal and continues to help me on both an energetic level as well as the soul sister she is which suits my mind, body and spirit in the best way! I have decided to learn how to become a Shamanic healer under her apprenticeship by learning the art of shamanism in order to help other people retrieve their souls.
I pay close attention to what our great Universe has been nudging me towards and what God puts on my heart. In this past month, I have connected on a much deeper level with who I am inside and gained a lot of clarity on a higher consciousness level. Writing this makes me feel like getting up and twirling around with glee💃 My heart feels so much peace, happiness, joy and contentment and I didn’t get this way from anything external, it came from feeding my soul internally. It takes my breath away sometimes, the utter beauty I am so blessed to see now having obtained this kind of balance and alignment.
Of course there are others around me who have loved and believed in me when I didn’t love or believe in myself. They know who they are because I am not shy about expressing my love and gratitude directly to them. My dear readers, I am a living example of what you put into life is exactly what you get out of it. Allow the life you lead in this outer physical world to be a reflection of the life you create inside, your inner world. The people we draw into our lives are a mirror for us to learn from. God sets out to teach us through others.
This virus has created immense suffering but it has also created a ton of hope and possibility for a better tomorrow. Look for it because it is there in abundance, feed your mind with goodness and for goodness sake turn off the damn news! It’s only meant to distract from the beauty of life. We have survived before the 24 news cycle was invented and we will ALL be better off from moving away from it. I firmly believe in nourishing your body, mind and spirit with nutrient dense material. Pay close attention to just what you are feeding yourselves my dear ones.
When the weather cooperates, I like to do my daily reading, journaling and meditation outdoors. As I finished my meditation on Sunday (I had to look at the calendar to remember what day it is😉) and opened my eyes, I caught a glimpse of the clouds above me, some call them iridescent but I call them rainbow clouds. A sign from the heavens, the Universe telling me we are all going to be alright. A clear sign to hold onto faith and hope. For those interested, here’s Google’s definition: Cloud iridescence or irisation is a colorful optical phenomenon that occurs in a cloud and appears in the general proximity of the Sun or Moon. The colors resemble those seen in soap bubbles and oil on a water surface. It is a type of photometeor.
My creativity is blooming and blossoming! I spent time taking in God’s beauty and this gift as I choose to see it. I was raised Catholic but don’t practice any organized religion or belong to any church. Instead I have my own rituals and practices that keep my spiritually fit. On Easter Sunday I sent out a message of hope, faith along with lots of love to the ones near to me. I choose to mark that day as a rebirth and a renewal every year. I recorded this short video too.
Afterwards, I wrote this poem. I couldn’t decide which color format to go with so here are both🌈
I took part in a deep breathing ceremony last evening hosted by a dear friend and healer, Chrissy Marie (aka @comealivewithchrissymarie on Instagram) Oh boy did she deliver exactly what I needed through her magic and guidance. I had an outer body experience that delivered the healing my body was craving on a whole other level! I highly recommend connecting with your breath my dears. As Chrissy reminded us at the start of the ceremony, breath is the first and most important conduit, a river if you will delivering life force energy. Stop holding yours and take a nice long deep one😊
I can’t speak more highly of these two wonderfully powerful, magical and compassionate women! They have each introduced different aspects of selfcare and healing in a holistic way into my world that has impacted my wellbeing and helped raise my vibration! If anybody has questions, comments or wants to be introduced to their services, please leave me a comment or send me an email❤
For more of my poetry, check out my book of poetry, “Emotional Musings” available on Amazon
It’s been a rough week for me my dear readers. Obviously with what’s going on in our world and being an intuitive empath, I have been picking up on all the feelings and emotional energy of others. The following are a few quick videos of me and lastly a poem I just finished. My hope for us all.
Feelin more like myself. Taking each day as it comes. This morning as I sat in meditation, I started sobbing. Not necessarily tears of sadness or joy just a release, a non judgemental one that took days to flow through me. It’s important to allow whatever is coming up….be it energetically, emotionally, physically or spiritually…..resist the urge to shut it down, numb out or dissociate from it. It’s all normal right now y’all. We are ALL TOGETHER AS A WORLD experiencing major life changes.
I love you all and am sending out the purest of loving intentions from my ❤ to your ❤
This is my latest mantra for peace, health and unity for all of us right now. For our world🌎❤🦋🙏😊✌
Hey y’all!! I returned back here to Texas from Florida late Sunday night. I gave myself permission to rest and do nothing yesterday which is a real challenge for me having the amount of energy I do 😜 The weather cooperated however and was quite dreary with rain, inviting me to lay under the covers, snuggle with my partner while we watched movies🎬 one of my favorite down time activities.
The clouds parted and the sun was shining bright today here my dear readers! YAY, I am a huge sun lover 😉 I must express how welcoming this felt here since Dallas has been under rain storms for over two weeks now 🌞 I made my daily morning shake using these supplements. Took my vitamins, put on my work out clothes and headed into my backyard😎
First I read my daily affirmations, repeating them once over with my eyes closed. Then I read a page under today’s date in Mark Nepo’s “Book of Awakening” which focused on growing even in darkness. Ah Mr. Nepo, how your words hit so close to home today. I would be lying if I said that the current state of our world hasn’t gotten me rattled and worried. As an intuitive empath, the energy swirling around me affects me differently throughout the day. I am doing my best, my damndest to allow my emotions to flow through without getting stuck on the fear or sadness too much. My anxiety is amped up however, I do have CPTSD and it feels more intense lately in a new way my dear readers.
I spent three hours out there in solitude and it felt wonderful❤ I balanced my chakras using my crystal set too. Putting all of my energy into keeping my thoughts light and positive. Here’s a little video I took afterwards featuring my latest mantra🧘♀️
I am centered. I am balanced. I am encased in white light. I radiate love from the inside out. I am alright🥰
My dear reader’s I have been having noticing a reoccurring confirmation from friends, mentors along with the messages I receive from the Universe regarding how to obtain lasting happiness. It boils down to this….. it’s definitely an inside job! Nothing external, meaning outside oneself, can make you happy and keep you that way. Boy oh boy has this been a tough lesson to learn for me. There are so many mixed messages out there especially when you are bombarded with advertising promising you that this product or that program will give you all you ever dreamed of along with happiness. It takes going beneath the surface of everything in our society to get the real answer on this one my dears🤔
I firmly believe that a connection to both a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, I chose to call it God and a deep connection with yourself is needed for inner peace and happiness. I myself disconnected from myself many years ago due to trauma and the increasing fear it inflicted upon my life. Over the years, I abandoned belief, trust and love of myself. When I was sexually molested as a child, I internalized that pain and blamed myself. I never told anybody about it so that wound just grew and grew😪
The beliefs I had then were screaming at me everytime something challenging came up like, “you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve that” and “you’re a failure so stop trying.” Either of these beliefs can be destructive to one’s self esteem but both of them wrecked havoc and destroyed my aspirations and dreams. Not to mention the times in my life when I have succumbed to a case of the “fuck its” and chose to be completely self destructive going scorched Earth with my life by quitting everything and everybody with no explanations and running away. I’ve done that too many times during my 42 years that I care to recall here🙄
I tell you dear readers all of this to be able to exclaim that those darker days are officially over! I have faced the pit of my issues, healing from sexual abuse over these past 10 months. I have been able to establish my management position at an amazing boutique downtown. I am about to self publish my second book of poetry. I have gone back into the dance studio and am loving class again. I have attended 2 poetry slams so far this year. I have an interview article coming out soon highlighting my writing career here in Dallas. These are my external accomplishments and achievements but what means more to me on an intimately personal and much deeper level is the acceptance of myself and living authentically every damn day with no apologies. I now know true inner peace😊
It’s a major shift of perspective for me to realize that only I can advance or derail my success in life. The main ingredient for this depends on your level of self love. Since June, I have been treating myself a whole heck of a lot better. I’m my own best friend and caregiver. It will still be a work in progress but the internal dialogue with myself, the many parts of me that clammer for attention like my inner child which is still wounded at times, my ego (thinking mind), my instinctive personality (INFJ) and then my intuition which is my highest self’s voice and my soul has reached a point where I can recognize each of these bits of Maria so that I can make decisions based upon my best interests. This is a humungous difference from the previous years of my adulthood! I can honestly say the more I pause to decide how to respond to life’s ebbs and flows, the more I can differentiate between the many facets of me!
For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of being off work and enjoying some much needed free time. I have been listening to 963 Hz tone frequency on the SoundHeal app during my meditation time. At this frequency I’m stimulating and balancing the Sahasrara, thousand petaled or crown chakra. This is generally considered the 7th primary chakra which is the energy center for understanding according to most tantric yoga traditions. It can be used to attain a state of Nivana-oneness. This frequency returns the system to its original state. It is said that when a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, the energy of consciousness, to this chakra the state of Nirvikalpa Samodhi is experienced. Ah….yessssss🧘♀️
Well all I can tell you is due to my sensitivity I have been experiencing some amazing benefits from using this frequency. Today, I felt filled with energy. So much so that I went for a long run/walk that amounted to my own personal marathon! I used my MapRun app to track my time/distance/pace and honestly, I didn’t turn it on from the beginning so add another 3 miles to this total…..I completed 27 1/2 miles today 🏃♀️
Along the way I was singing out loud to my favorite female 90s pop icons like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I even took a detour to the swings and satisfied little Maria’s love for swinging! It was a welcome break from the path and I must admit felt so fantastic🥰 I just love the exhilarating feeling I get from pumping my legs in order to get as high as I can reach on a swing! This particular swing set is located around mile 8 or so on the running trail that circles White Rock Lake. I observed some very picturesque moments that I captured like these birds sitting in the trees over the lake.
I just adore the feeling I get being out in nature by myself. I feel so alive and whole as is evident in this selfie I took 😎
I saw this sentiment near the elevators on a floor of the hotel I work inside a few days ago and quickly snapped a picture of it as inspiration for this post. I agree with Ms. Turner 100%
Lastly, this one sums it up quite honestly and definitely reflects where I am today on my journey. Love, light & peace ❤🌠✌
Yesterday was my day off, it was 70 degrees out and the sunshine was glorious! I felt like singing, I did too for a bit, while I was running😉 Completed a 10 mile run by the closest and my most favorite body of water. Mother Nature was showing off yesterday in my humble opinion. God I love Mother Earth so dearly and feel like being out in nature is medicine for my soul💚
I love it when it’s clear enough to see both the sun and moon up in that bright blue sky. We have had increasingly rainy weather here in Dallas lately which added to the good vibes I was absorbing while I was outdoors for hours yesterday.
Today however I am crashing. I definitely have a tendency to run myself down when the energy I pick up outdoors revs me up! Plus, all the mental energy I spent, let me remind you my dear readers about the 14 hours I spent getting the interview article I am featured in compiled and sent off🤪 I am feeling shadow creeping in. Observing this. Allowing it. Sitting with it. This is my humanness and is completely normal. The fallout from the high. We exist in the in between and the shades of gray. Watching myself between these 2 spaces each a different polarity. Today I will be quiet and show myself grace. I am being compassionate with myself. This is balance ⚖ A continuous work in progress for me.
Lastly, last evening while I was gazing up at Ms. Moon lovingly I had another vision. My Nana who passed away 14 years ago this St. Patrick’s Day and is my most communicative spirit guide started talking with me in the most heart warming of ways. Using the moon as a backdrop like a movie screen, she started flashing some of my favorite memories in pictures. First was a solo portrait of her bright shiny and smiling face cast down upon me. Up second was an old family picture of us outside of the restraunt we ate at after her funeral service, followed by pictures of she and I. It reminded me of when I was much younger and my parents would play a slideshow on our refrigerator for my sister and I. Like every vision previously, my mouth hung open, eyes wide and fixated on the amazing beauty I was witnessing and Nana was sharing with me🥰
You must understand my dears that my Nana has the most generous and sweet of spirits. My Mom always tells me how much I remind her of her mother. It always feels like one of Nana’s hugs when she tells me that. I get those super warm fuzzies whenever we talk about her. It’s 100% true that the more I ask for signs and communication from my guides during meditation, the more they deliver. In the most humorous and entertaining of ways! Wouldn’t you, existing in pure bliss out there in our Universe? I continue to see the white orbs, hundreds of them floating through the sky whenever I’m outdoors. It’s easiest to see them when it’s a clear say but if I focus my eyes, I can see them on cloudy days too.
This life I have been blessed with is so humbling and magnificent sometimes, I am awe struck. Speechless with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for rising each day and laying my head down at the end of each day, like a ride on the ferris wheel. For that is what life is my dear reader’s….what a ride indeed🎡
My dear readers, I am about to share with you all a few practices that have created such joy in my life and are proving to be real game changers along this healing transformation I am experiencing lately. My heart is singing just thinking about the calming impact they have had, at the same time exhilarated feelings that these practices have brought to my life!
I love to meditate. I have rediscovered it’s beneficial aspects again after having not made the time for this practice for too long, I can see how my life was seriously lacking it’s mindfulness results. So I restarted a couple of different styles depending on my mood and the amount of time I could give to it daily. I like both guided and Transcendental techniques. I can’t remember how I stumbled upon the information but I think it must have been in an article I was reading that explained the benefits of sound healing through frequencies like Solfeggio sounds. I did incorporate the information about the app I use called, SoundHeal in my long post last week, entitled “Visons proclaiming my future path”. I have come to look forward to the 10-15 minutes a day I allot for this practice because I literally tune the world out and get to be with myself. It’s a gift. It’s something I need to do in order to keep in the present moment and remain mindful. It calms and soothes me while adjusting my mindset so I can tackle my day.
Another very important practice I have restarted in my life is dance! I have written in past posts dear readers that I studied all forms of dance including ballet, jazz, tap, contemporary and modern since age 2 and then quit abruptly due to emotional stress of competing at a high level and some other reasons I will elaborate on in future posts. Last week I posted, “This is me,” a video of myself dancing alone in my room to the song “Titanium” by David Guetta. I feel most alive when I’m dancing and moving my body. It’s so freeing and the best way, I believe for me to allow my spirit to soar and get connected with my soul’s essence. I recently returned to the dance studio too attending both a ballet and a jazz/funk class.
This resurgence of my love for dance got me thinking about the kind of dancing that allows people to connect with their true spirit and tell a story through dance. So I turned to Google and entered “transformative dancing” and the first video I clicked on was my answer!
There is a woman from Ohio named Jaime Marich who is both a professional counselor with a human services degree and has a dance/theater background founded a group dance class called “Mindfulness Dancing”. She incorporated her love of yoga, breathwork and therapeutic dance into a group class that frees your soul and spirit! She discovered after getting sober and living in recovery that when you incorporate your body into therapy it produces such deeper healing results than just traditional talk therapy alone. I watched this video below a few times and was immediately struck by how when you allow your body to do what you feel, using even the simplest of movements, you tell your own story. She and the other participants admitted that people in their early 20s sometimes have a hard time finding the words to express themselves but can more easily find a movement that exactly matches their feelings. Add music to this and BAM….I immediately wished there was a local class I could attend like this! I have really learned the benefits of healing in a collective, a community of like minded people.
Perhaps I need to start a class here in Dallas like her model 🤔 Check it out here….
Bringing people through their pain and trauma while igniting their life force energy, aliveness is something that I admire deeply. There is a beauty to being within a group that casts no judgement or critique to one another. The complete opposite of the kind of dancing I grew up aspiring to perform. I can see now how the level I was at crushed my love of dance. After I quit, I turned my interests in music to following The Grateful Dead and twirling along with my fellow deadheads. Their music is still a big part of my life today. I put it on when I want to connect with myself, let loose and get free! This is one of my favorite medleys of, “Estimated Prophet/Shakedown Street/Fire on the Mountain/Sugar Magnolia” from 11/24/78 at The Capital Theater in Passaic, New Jersey. Being both the Jersey girl I am and born in 1977, this performance tickles my fancy and makes my spirit soar!! Enjoy it my dear readers, put it on, crank the volume up loud and dance my fellow soul dancers!
“The Art of Aliveness”
Lastly, I want to share with you my dear friend Chrissy Marie aka @comealivewithchrissymarie on Instagram’s new podcast called, “The Art of Aliveness”. She has recorded 7 episodes so far and each of them contain gems of truth, humor and insightfullness coupled with her quick witted intelligence on how to cultivate life force energy by utilizing curiosity and courage with play. Proving these practices bring joy into your life and connect you with your soul. Her latest episode explores the healing qualities of sound vibration within the body. She provides the science behind the proven benefits of sound and how talking to yourself, singing, chanting and humming bring your attention out of your thinking mind and into your body. Helps to regain your focus, improves memory and is just plain fun! I just adore her, my sassy red headed friend. I think anybody who wants to feel alive, boost their joy and laugh needs to listen. I take notes as I listen usually twice through each episode that spark laughter, sometimes I cry when she strikes that chord and mostly she makes me think. Afterwards, I can connect with the information and find what speaks to me that I can incorporate into my daily practices and healing.
“Triumphing over Trauma”
We are only on this Earth for such a short time and I feel like I don’t want to squander another moment being in pain or reliving trauma from my past. So far, since June, I have reignited my passions by remembering just who I am and what I came here to do. I believe we come to this life as spirits being many thousands of years old with amnesia. Everyday I am waking up a bit more, engaging in the conversations, living my truths, finding the situations and expierienced that make my free spirit take flight again. I am alive and it feels so good after years of living in and feeling stuck by pain, trauma, depression and anxiety 🥰 This is what my motto “Triumphing over Trauma” looks like….
My dear readers, as I write this my heart is swelling with excitement, gratitude and so much joy! This past week has been one of the most incredible and validating as well as amazing experiences I have ever had! Buckle up as I explain just how my journey has elevated, and brought me to a whole new level in my spiritual journey and awakening. We are multidimensional spiritual beings having a human experience here on Earth. There are layers to this thing called life and boy, did I see it front and center this week play out in real time in my own life. This is going to be a long post so hang with me🙏
I have been communicating openly with my spirit guides now for some time asking them to show me signs that they are in fact real and have my back. My roots are Italian, Puerto Rican and Venezuelan. My father is 100% Italian and our family is from Calabria. We embody the characteristic of Calabrese meaning hard headed, stubborn. I tell you this because I need to have things banged over my head for me to believe them. Just ask my fiance, he gets quite frustrated with me at times over how many times he has to repeat himself for me to understand certain things. Just the other day while in the boutique I manage, I was speaking out loud and asked, “hey spirits are you here with me”? Some time passed and then all of a sudden a HoneyBun dropped off the shelf from a place that had a secure lip, there was no way this thing could of fallen unless it was knocked off there. Needless to say, this week my spirit guides showed up 4 times in major ways 4 days in a row!
All of my visions so far have happened outside, in nature, in my backyard. To date there have been 7 separate ones. Thursday’s vision started much like the last one. I’m watching the sky and all of a sudden hundreds of twinkling white lights come floating down from the sky. Some of them get so close almost touching my face! The feeling that I immediately get is like a giant warm hug from the Universe. Tears fall from my face like a waterfall. It’s awe inspiring and beautiful and I can’t pull my eyes away. But this vision is just the tip of the iceberg because Friday’s vision blew me away!
I must tell you my dear readers that I have incorporated an app on my phone called SoundHeal into my daily meditation practice and I love it! There are eleven Solfeggio (an ancient 6 tone scale)different frequency settings that help influence healing on the following topics:
174 Hertz reduces pain both emotional and physical
285 Hertz influences energy fields and skincare
295.8 Hertz aids improves metabolism by dissolving fat cells and helping you lose weight
396 Hertz helps in reducing guilt and fear balancing the root chakra
417 Hertz facilitates change in our energy field reducing negativity and balancing the sacral chakra
432 Hertz influences cosmic healing since it is the vibrational frequency of everything in nature, a source of overall health and well being
528 Hertz aids in DNA regeneration by boosting self confidence and is said to be the miracle tone that balances the solar plexus chakra
639 Hertz influences our spiritual connection by opening our heart chakra, aiding with problems in love and relationships
741 Hertz aids in expression and solution by balancing our throat chakra, cleansing cells and detoxification of the body so we can be more connected and lead a more spiritual life
852 Hertz unifies the spiritual order of everything by connecting us to our third eye chakra or our logical mind, intuition to receive more messages from the past or future
963 Hertz awakens and balances us and is said to help reach a state of Nirvana and oneness by putting us into a perfect state to connect and balance our crown chakra which helps us to understand everything around us, raising our own Kundalini, the energy of consciousness
In addition to these tones that help balance the mind, body and spirit placing us in perfect harmony are imedded sounds of nature including AUM (OM chanting), beach, fire,river,rain,wind,thunder,birds and singing bowl.
I mix them all up depending on how I’m feeling and what I want to tweak. Mostly I stick to cosmic healing adding AUM, rain and singing bowl. Lately too I have been adding in birds because I find their tweets and calls very calming and peaceful. It is suggested to listen daily for at least 3 to 7 minutes to observe changes and I don’t do more than 15 at a sitting. After I’m finished, a friend of mine suggested that I go out into nature and put my back against something solid like a rock or tree to ground the tones into my body.
If you understand that our entire world is made up of energy you can see how tuning your body to different frequencies helps it heal. I recently watched the entire first season of “The Goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow” on Netflix. Since 2008, her company Goop has been exploring alternative and holistic treatments to enhance and extend life in healthy ways. There are two episodes that I found fascinating and really enjoyed because they are based on energy field body work and psychic abilities. I highly recommend watching, “The energy experience” and “Are you Intuit”. I would love to discuss these topics with you my dear readers so please feel free to leave your comments below⬇️
Onto Friday….Friday was the first day I was able to try this new grounding technique because our weather had finally cleared up from rain to sunshine and I believe this tip changed the game for me! There are benches made of cement in my backyard so I wrapped my wolf howling at the moon blanket around me (my Mom bought it for my oldest son and he gave it to me because it is quite small for him) which I now refer to as my vision cloak, and laid upon the bench. At first just my spirit guides appeared, floating around me dancing in the air. Then I turned my gaze towards the sun and OMG I saw dark shadows that morphed into a bird like creature, they switched positions around the sun creating a propeller type of motion. Then that vanished and an eruption like a volcano came shooting out of the sun forming a heart in deep purple colors that then turned to bright white beams and flashes. I felt my mouth hang open as I couldn’t take my eyes off of the Sun. Finally after an hour of being out there just staring I walked back into my apartment. I quickly did a Google search on visions out of the Sun and this is what I learned.
According to ancient Indian medicine, there are these vein like threads called Nadis that carry Prana or life force energy throughout our bodies and connect directly to our chakras. Nadis weave through these channels or pathways to our physical nerves as well as the circuitry of the mind, of self and our consciousness matrix that supports our physical presence from invisible dimensions of existence. I learned that the Sun-solar energy is distinctly male energy while our Moon-lunar energy is female. So, Sushumna (chakra system)which is the central channel of energy in the human body that runs from the base of our spine to the crown of our head carrying Kundalini energy can only flow freely once Ida and Pingala Nadis are balanced and clear creating an increase in spiritual growth thus shifting my being from my mind’s thinking to my heart…to me this means I have now entered into a state of love and abundance leaving my thinking or fear based mind behind.
This combination of placing my chakra crystals upon my chakra points while using the sound healing tones have awakened these areas of my body thus raising my self awareness and helping me reach a higher level of consciousness, like another spiritual awakening. This makes two major shifts and elevations in my journey in just eight months! I have now leveled up! I have done the work and continue to stick to my rituals and practices. Now I’m reaping the rewards!
I also learned that gazing at the sun is called fractal enlightenment and stimulates the pineal gland. Using the sun’s energy I have charged my hypothalamus tract through my eyes which is the pathway to the rear of the retina leading to my brain. This practice also powers my brain by boosting serotonin and melatonin levels which are the happy hormones, relieves stress and tension, activates my third eye so that I can perceive higher dimensions, increases my energy levels, has been proved to actually increase the size of the pineal gland, reduces hunger pangs since body is being essentially nourished by the sun, improves eyesight and finally opens these Nadis energy channels!!
On Saturday I did the same thing as Friday morning. This time, as I gazed lovingly into the Sun all of a sudden I saw these weird geometric shapes with roses and flowers attached to them. I began to cry, sob really as I took a mental photograph of this vision. I attended a free yoga class at a new studio here in Dallas called NAMA fitness, which I highly reccomend. Before my class I was chatting with the instructor from the previous class and she was discussing the discomfort she was experiencing from her new tattoo that she had just gotten on the inside of her arm. Our chat sparked my curiosity so I asked to see it. Low and behold, it was those same geometric shapes and flowers that I saw not an hour earlier!! Holy crap my dear readers, this revelation floored me😯
Sunday was an overcast day for us here in Dallas when I ventured back to the bench. I lay there for a few minutes before getting called to sit on a large log behind our greenhouse. I turned my head to the right and was immediately struck by a cloud formation that quickly morphed into an angel, then a butterfly and finally a huge shamrock. I spoke aloud without hesitation and said, “Hi Nana”!! I have written here before about how my dear Nana, my mother’s mother is my guardian angel. She passed away almost fifteen years ago on St. Patrick’s Day. She has always appeared to me as a butterfly whenever I need a bit of cheering up. Without fail, I will ask for her and sure enough every single time, even when I’m not in a garden setting or a place where it’s common to see a butterfly, there she is within arms reach. She has even appeared when I have been out walking with my fiance and landed upon his arm for a bit. I remember saying to him that Nana wanted to meet you and say hello.
Sunday afternoon I attended my first ballet class in over ten years. It was glorious and terrifying, challenging and triggering all at the same time. There were times within that hour and a half class that I wanted to run out the door but little inner child Maria, the one who was pushing me to get back into the dance studio to begin with, refused to quit and walk out. It was invigorating and gave me such a sense of accomplishment when it was over. I floated out of class on the same clouds that I saw Nana emerge from. I treated myself to a coffee and did a bit of grocery shopping before I called a Lyft to take me home.
When I got into my car, the driver asked how my day was and then asked if I knew what was going on. I was immediately struck with a pang of fear and I said that I didn’t. I make it a point to not look at my phone when I’m on these excursions with myself so that I can stay in and enjoy the moment. He broke the news that Kobe Bryant was just killed in a helicopter accident along with eight other people including his 13 year old daughter. Immediately, my mind went to my vision on Saturday of the bird, propeller type shadows with the heart shaped volcano explosion. My heart sank and I started to cry as I realized how absolutely tragic and sad this news is while also realizing these visions are premonitions of future events.
I must tell you dear readers that I have always been very intuitive but lately my intuition has been extremely active and on point! I gave advice to a friend of mine, a fellow empath, over a social media message the other day and she admitted that what I said was verbatim the exact same message she received from a medium she sees! I predicted my son’s day at work for him recently. He was injured and I told him the kind of day he could expect. Later that day he was so shocked when he told me that my predictions were 100% correct. He then asked me if I am a wizard!! Aren’t all mothers anyways 🤣
Lastly dear readers I want to leave you with where I believe all of these visions and heightened states of awareness are bringing me and why. I recently watched a webinar on Shamanic healing and my dear friend, Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna on Instagram is one. She is also a Reiki master. She is willing to let me start an apprenticeship under her as she teaches and guides me into learning how to become a Shamanic healer!! Since watching the webinar, I have been consulting with my guides and it’s been confirmed that this is where my path is bringing me. In the future, I want to do both writing and healing full time. It’s my calling. My purpose. It is why I have survived all the trauma that threatened to kill me at many stages throughout my life. I now live to heal others through my testimony and my gifts. The amount of gratitude that is pouring out from my heart as I write this is bringing tears to my eyes. My soul’s purpose has been revealed and I’m more than ready to answer the call. Lead the way spirit as I trust the Universe to always have my back. This self healing life is abundantly beautiful
Oh love, what a complicated and fickle pursuit it can be! My dear readers I have come into such an abundance of love’s pure energy flow lately and so far my new year is as bright and shiny as my spirit is. Last Monday I expierenced my third vision, out in nature, which I just love. Awe inspiring and breathtakingly beautiful! Looking up at the sky now holds more meaning for me than ever before. As I continue to heal and push through obstacles, one solution remains constant and true and that is love. When we allow love to flow freely throughout our entire being it frees us from our problems and allows us to be closer to Source and Divine power.
In keeping with my daily rituals while always setting the intention to allow a steady stream of unconditional love to flow through I am reminded to surrender. Love presents a polarity between weakness and strength. When we are in love we are vulnerable because we are putting our heart out there and there’s always a possibility we might be hurt or let down. Yet when we do this, we are showing strength in our belief that we deserve and want love. Accessing superior energy, which is God (or whatever higher power you believe in) we are able to look inward and feel that essence inside of us. It’s there in abundance dear readers. I know this to be true because I kept myself closed off from it for years. My intuition was quiet almost inaudible, barely being listened to. Now, ten years into this spiritual and self healing journey, it is loud and clear.
The first step was learning to love myself and to do that I had to figure a few things out. Understanding where I had been, why I was here and what was my soul’s purpose became goals that had me reading anything in the spiritual realm I could get my hands on. Seeking out therapists, taking medications for a time (15 years to be exact) to heal from the severe traumas I had experienced, attending outpatient therapies like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). Getting my mind right as the kids say, was a painstaking process that has instilled patience with myself into my core. None of this happens overnight 🤯
Along this journey I learned some powerful tools that I incorporate into my daily self care practices. Meditation is hugely vital to my well being and allows me quiet reflection and observation space to my rapidly shifting thoughts. Listening to binaural sounds at varying frequencies allows me to hear my spirit guides better and receive messages from them. We all have these angels all around us and last week Universe gifted me an angel orchestra of them during my vision. I have been asking for a sign to show me they were here and as I gazed up into the big blue sky while the moon was showing herself, all of a sudden I saw hundreds of twinkling white lights! Immediately I knew that they were my guides saying hello. I was filled with an indescribable sense of comfort and warmth while tears streamed down my face, it was one of the most beautiful sights to behold.
After that, my week continued to unfold in both positive and painful ways. I have come to a point in my life where I can see the beauty and purpose within pain. It’s my body’s signal and way of teaching me what I need to heal from, let go, accept and turn into strength. It’s like magic when you think about it that way. I’m no masochist, I no longer engage in self denial and I don’t seek out pain on purpose. I do however believe pain is one of our greatest teachers. Over my 42 years, I have experienced an incredible amount of pain and heartache that I know now served its purpose in instilling a deep love and kindness for my fellow humans and all living things for that matter.
I was drawn to do some inner child healing too last week which used to scare me because it was painful to look at. Now that I feel more in tune with my own emotions, loving myself in this way allows me to reparent the little me inside. Planning for and scheduling activities that bring out my childhood essence is really important for my continued growth, self integration and evolvement. These include talking to myself, dancing, going out in nature, painting, listening to music and singing along. Playing around with sounds like chanting, even swinging on a swing! That was my favorite activity as a child, I always felt like I was flying so high and free.
Remembering this part of me allows me to be my own hero and rescue myself which is hugely empowering. I write letters to my younger self at different ages reminding her she is no longer alone and is seen, heard and loved. It’s again, a kind of magic when those old stories that ran through my head telling me I’m not good enough or I am too much, too sensitive get triggered to start playing and now this new more calming and comforting voice is heard in their absence. Reparenting myself is a huge gift to not only me but those who love me and are in my life can see a big shift in my outlook and self confidence. Isn’t it amazing how music can fill the shallow parts of our souls allowing us this wonderful connection with who we are?
As an empath, I have lived most of my life distracted and focused upon other’s feelings and thoughts while neglecting my own. Honestly, my own were scary to me and overwhelming so I neglected them in favor of trying to save or rescue another. I can also admit that even during my current relationship with my fiance, there have been many many times that I looked to him to save me. Finally, I understand that only I can save me. I am responsible for my own happiness and the inner joy I feel is fueled by such self love and gratitude for the lessons I’ve learned. I have no regrets and I wouldn’t change a minute of my life thus far.
My main goal for this year has been to put myself out there more by releasing my inhibitions once and for all. I have forced myself to do more video confessionals that I post on my social media @emotionalmusings on both Instagram and Facebook. I hoped to attend my first poetry slam where I would perform one of my most personal poems, “Glimpses”this past Friday. My words are like my children and it both terrifies and excites me to share them on a stage. Unfortunately the weather here in Dallas kept me from attending but it turns out Universe is granting me another opportunity to do it this Friday because I have the night off from work!! YAY😊
I also reached out to a dear fellow empath friend @emilyrainbowglo on Instagram to ask her if she would want to do a collaboration with me, a live chat for our fellow empaths to feel empowered by and learn from. I was thrilled with the outcome of our conversation yesterday, it was seamless! It’s still available for a few more hours if you dear readers would like to hear what we had to talk about. It’s based around love and surrendering to it, allowing in self love and care so that we can protect our precious spirit and gifts while being open to receiving messages from the Universe. I have also asked another healer and dear friend of mine if I could join her on her new podcast. I will keep you dear readers in the loop of when that happens but for now you can follow her on Instagram @comealivewithchrissymarie and her podcast on Spotify is called, “The Art of Aliveness”. I will post the link below so you can check her out too.
I have made up my mind that this year, 2020 is the year I stop holding myself back. I have done just that for one reason or another for the last 40 years and finally, FINALLY I feel strong enough to put my hand ✋ up to anything or anybody that tries to have me go back into a box or wants to label me, stifle my spirit….no thank you!! I am determined to let my free spirit soar as high as I can fly! I also did a confessional for a company I represent by sharing my story. I have it published here as a post under, “My journey with BodHD,” but I will also drop the link below so it can be accessed here too.
I wrote this poem last night that really expresses my love and gratitude to the elements, the Universe that has held me in its loving arms, nurturing my spirit even when I was neglecting it and continued to show to love and acceptance. That little voice has always been there giving me the strength to never give up. Whatever pushes you along my dear readers, keep doing it. Don’t let anything stop you, ever. Shine and allow the world your gifts. Never give up. I am a forever friend to all and I appreciate your support, follows and likes. You can always reach out to me, I love to listen. You too can “Triumph over Trauma “😊💪💜
I have always liked the idea of wherever you go, you take yourself with you. In other words, you can change your physical location, surroundings or environment and that is all that actually is different because you are still you. The idea surrounding the possibility of instant growth simply because your physical surroundings are different is idealistic. We take ourselves, good, bad or indifferent wherever we go because we are creatures of habit. We don’t naturally like change. Change is scary and it upsets our egos. Ego mindset is there to keep us safe and small. Observing and deciphering the story our egos tell us is the first step in creating the real shift that is necessary for actual change.
Happiness is an inside job my dear readers. You can fly around the world, search the deepest forests, oceans and scour the beach for the meaning of life or buy things in attempt to find happiness and still come up short because no matter what you do or where you go, we must still answer to ourselves. Searching the external world for what makes one happy is never the answer for only we can create joy and peace within our own reality. The ability to think is what makes us uniquely human. The ability to understand we are not our thoughts is what allows us to become creators of our own reality. How empowering is that? Very😊
While I was thinking about writing this post, I read an article about the comparison of attitudes that either empower growth or can hold one back. The following are five attitudes that create confidence in contrast to overconfidence in life.
There is a difference between feeling truly capable of handling something versus thinking that YOU are the only one capable of accomplishing something. Now, I will state that I know and believe that the only thing I think I am the best suitable person for is taking care of myself. That being said, in every other situation, it isn’t very productive to think and definitely act like you are the only one who can do XYZ. When one thinks that way, it’s a set up for failure.
Overconfident people will continually talk without hearing others, I mean really listening to them. Confident and successful people understand that it’s best to always be learning while keeping an open mind to hearing something new. There must be a balance between talking and listening. I tell my boys to always remain open to new ideas and concepts because when one stops learning, growing ceases and spirit starts to die. This is a mindset that is easy to spot in others, usually depressed people who think they have nothing to offer the world. When those thoughts arise, recognizing that that is an ego based story devised to keep us small and free from changing. That thought can impede growth and squash all possibilities if one acts upon it.
The right kind of attitude is necessary for success in everything one sets out to accomplish. When I have an unrealistic belief that I’m too perfect to make any mistakes, I am attempting to act like a God. We are human and only God is perfect. Therefore it’s best to keep yourself in check by putting your best effort into achieving your goals. Thriving for your best, effortly speaking, is a better way of knowing that the only control you have is putting your best foot forward. We humans are fallible and will make mistakes along the way indefinitely.
That idea brings me to my next point which is being able to learn from your mistakes so that you don’t have to repeatedly keep making the same ones over and over again! We can either learn from our many mistakes along the way or we can choose to let our mistakes hold us back from actually acquiring the lesson and instilling it within our souls so the next time we remember that feeling and take steps to avoid that kind of self induced pain again.
Lastly, people who are confident work to gain respect from those around them by showing loyalty and kindness towards others while maintaining a down to Earth attitude. Overconfident people demand to be the main attraction and the center of attention. The latter type of person I try to avoid at all costs because they are extremely draining on my energy reserves. They lack self acceptance and are constantly seeking it from external sources.
Honestly, I have recently noticed that throughout my life as an empath, I have drawn in many narcissists and sociopaths. Those looking to drain my life force energy because they are so unsettled within their own beings and have no regard for human emotions. Since my spiritual growth has taken hold and my vibration has been raised, I only attract other like minded people to me. Mostly other extra sensory people, empaths, lightworkers and metaphysically interested people. It’s very awesome and a gift from Universe💜
Through daily meditation, over the years, I have learned to observe my own at times monkey mind. I can’t control what I think because I know our minds love to link information together and at times, tell us lies that keep me safe ….ego stories again. All that is within my power is the ability to put space between my thoughts and my actions. Meditation helps me grow that much needed space by passively observing. That’s when I can decipher what my thoughts are trying to tell me. I’m able to then break down my thoughts into the category of either rational or irrational.
I first learned these techniques while attending cognitive behavioral and dialetical behavioral therapyies. These two courses saved my life in many ways because I was allowing my overactive thinking to control my life instead of me being the master. I found myself in a downward spiral trying to escape my life in unhealthy ways and ultimately in permanence when I attempted suicide eight years ago.
I’ve entered a point in my life today where I feel an intense gratitude for everything! The people I have met, the lessons I have learned, the mistakes I have made, the opportunities I have been granted, the many experiences I can add to my tool belt by living life with am open mind along with my free flowing spirit. I love where I am. I am so grateful for where I find myself today and yes, I have brought myself here.
Since my last post I have been flooded with messages from higher consciousness or my higher self. The more I notice the synchronicity within the patterns and messaging from Source, the more aware of my inner spirit I become. Two major ideas have begun sprouting and taking root within me. As painful as this spiritual awakening can be at times, making these important connections is really adding glorious colors to my soul’s spectrum. Hold tight dear readers because this post is about to blow your minds, follow along if you dare….
About a week ago I started thinking about the idea of what elevating to the 5D or 5th Dimension is all about. Sure enough, while going through that same day I was sent information about that very topic in multiple ways. That is how the Universe communicates with me, in the physical world. I ask a question and without fail, I am always sent my answers. I watched an informational video by a YouTube and Instagram star I follow by the name of Ralph Smart, his spirit’s name is Infinite Waters. He calls his followers.like me, deep divers because are seeking answers to that which is below the surface. As you may or may not by know by now my dear readers, that is my favorite place to dwell and where you can most often find me 😉
Anyway, he posted a video about how to know if you have entered the 5D. Let me explain to you my dear readers what the difference is between 3D and 5D and the different levels of awareness within the 5D world.
First off, the 3D world is the physical world we live in and is fear based and focused around material. The fear around losing the materials we acquire is the ruling force. Think, Madonna’s “Material Girl”. Within this idea comes a concentration for obtaining money and power. We don’t trust others because we fear they might take our material, money and power away. Those existing within this dimension define themselves solely by their position within this power plane and what they do for a living. Believing that basically, the more you have the happier and more fulfilled you will be. Their beliefs are centered around separation from God or Source, the existence of a singular life and death is something painful, all finite and to be feared. This life within the 3d is one big competition with only winners and losers. People existing within the 3D believe there are only certain roles for men and women. Men hold positions of power, nurturing that strength to become the fighters. Woman are seen as the weak caretakers only.
In regards to relationships within the 3D, they believe one cannot be whole without another person. They believe one needs someone else in order to be happy and whole. They are so used to ego centered thinking and there is no questioning of it. Only seeing rare moments of beauty in nature or in an orgasm because these moments bring them into the NOW or present. Otherwise, in my humble opinion, living as drones or robots within this Matrix like society. Their minds play games based around would of, should of and could of which can only focus on the past or they are busy creating future scenarios centering around hypotheticals to prepare themselves for the future. All of this thinking is a futile process and waste of precious energy, in my opinion. Humans living in the 3D crave sex because it’s the only time that both masculine and feminine energies can coexist in a perfect balance within each other.
What’s more is that in the 3D, people are seen as separate from God and that duality doesn’t exist. There are only coincidences and no such thing as destiny. We have amnesia really, we have forgotten the spiritual beings we are within the physical form we occupy. We take on the ego mind and with that adoption, we have egocentric thinking. Nobody questions this and those that do are seen as weird or crazy. Ultimately they must be wrong because there is no upsetting this Matrix.
Upon entering the 5D, one feels more and more comfortable about just who they really are, reclaiming their authentic selves as it relates to who they are truly born to be, original spirit is getting reintegrated into our physical body creating a feeling of oneness with everything within the physical world. An absolute understanding that we are all connected, animals, humans, nature….EVERYTHING! Moving past light and darkness and good and bad, our integration into the 5D allows us to see the necessity of it all. Everything is more than it seems suddenly.
I myself began this journey or quest to discover my authentic self with my voice trembling and shaking. When I started questioning everything I have been told to believe, there was a lot of pushback and pain. I felt I was misunderstood, not worthy and not enough. Those of us raising our awareness and consciousness are seen as weird and crazy. We are remembering our soul’s purpose as our heart begins to open. The scarcity mindset is turned on its head in favor of an abundance one. In the 3D we have to be consumers who strive to own more and more. Consumption upon the material is seen as not only better but necessary for happiness.
In contrast, those of us moving into the 5D have started to understand that everything we need to be whole and happy is already within us. I have begun to feel powerful by understanding that only I have the power to create my own reality. I’m no longer accepting what I have always been told because others have believed what they were told before me and on and on. No thank you, no more. I’m beginning to see myself as a multidimensional being having a human experience. Remembering too what the Budda himself has preached for centuries, attachment creates suffering. Letting go is the only way to obtain a real enlightenment state of being.
My energy centers, or chakra system has been open, balanced and allowed to flow seemingly which allows my authentic story to be told. My throat chakra is no longer blocked. Yes, and too my heart chakra is shifting into a more receiving state to allow what Source is providing me on a daily basis. I see that there is nothing but love inside of me and I can accept love more freely from others without judgement or doubt. Just like an artist, I am painting my world more vibrantly and with broader strokes of color.
The next level I am just beginning to experience is that of an energy alchemist. Being able to transform negative energy into positive energy is called transmuting. I practice this through meditation and visualization. The more attuned i can become into my energetic force, the easier this becomes. By no means is this process supposed to sound easy. On the contrary, it is hard and painful at times anrequires an open mind, body and soul along with tons of patience within this practice. I’m never going to be perfect as my spirit walks this Earth because I’m inhabiting a fallible human body.
I am telling you dear readers that I can actually feel this shift taking place within me. More on some days and less on others depending on what energies I have allowed into my field and what I have taken on. If I could exist in a complete Transcendental meditative state I would! Once there I am actively experiencing nothingness, no thoughts, no feelings….pure nothing. For me it’s like being in outer space where nothings ends and nothing starts, everything just is. A truly conscious state of being.
I have many of my meditation guru’s and consciousness guide’s words tumbling around in my mind about becoming a human being vs a human doing. In the 3D the only acceptable state is the latter. How much can I do in a day? How much can I achieve, obtain and win…just how much power will that give me? To me dear readers, this isn’t the sort of leveling up I have ever wanted to achieve.
I do however desire to level up within my own consciousness by vibrating at a higher frequency so that my human mind can accept what my spirit’s destiny truly is. I have to let go of what the 3D has drummed into my head which is don’t question anything and fear it all!! I must undue 41 years of brainwashing.
I have started to see myself as the hero in my story, not the victim of pain and suffering that i have felt for for years! That being stated, I am beginning to embrace that fact that the trauma, pain and suffering I have experienced thus far has molded me into a human who is willing and able to take on my soul’s purpose. My 3rd eye chakra, the energy center that contains our innermost knowing and has always been my guiding force is now the only voice I want to listen to. I have begun to actively block all the false messaging within the 3D so that my mind can make room for more awareness and spiritual information.
This process is arduous and exhausting because I am unlearning what my 3D self has accepted a long time ago. My thoughts, feelings and behaviors must ALL transform so that I can remain calm, fearless really in the face of extreme emotion and stress. I have to develop a supreme awareness so that my spirit can weather whatever storm I may find myself facing. This is 100% my own responsibility and no one else’s.
The next level I hope to obtain in time as Universe sees fit is that of a wizard who can truly be one with the Universe. No longer seeing a separation but instead having an unconditional love and complete acceptance of self. I must have already inhabited all three beings of drone, artist and alchemist, growing into a master. In this state I won’t sell out, my soul that is what I’m referring to, not ever. No matter what my choices are. I will only count my riches by my inner growth, understanding and knowing that is what truly matters, not what my bank account says. I will be completely 100% about my purpose void of distraction. Most especially, I will refuse to compare myself to anyone else. I will only sow seeds of positivity through my interactions with all others always.
This new understanding as lead me to the idea of wanting to marry my soul. Everyday I read a passage from a book entitled “The Book of Awakening ” by Mark Nepo. Mr. Nepo is a poet and spiritual adviser who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 30 years. He is best known for his New York Times #1 bestseller, “The Book of Awakening”. He is a very respected philosopher who has endured and overcome cancer. I have been allowing him to guide my days by reading and rereading his book for about 5 years now.
Today being November 13th and also our full moon, I read about marrying one’s soul. He writes here that in order to live without silencing or numbing essential parts of who we are, we must make a vow to uphold a special promise to ourselves. Mine sounds something like this and I am paraphrasing Mr. Nepo’s beautiful prose here:
I, Maria Teresa Pratico, make the following promise to myself. I will do my best on a daily basis to stay committed to my inner path, not separating myself from that path when things get tough or confusing. I will always try to accept and embrace my faults and limitations by interweaving my spiritual life with my psychological life. Living my life by allowing my heart and soul to lead my mind where it may wonder. I vow to lead a life of faith and truth by fulfilling these virtues in the place of anxiety and doubt. By keeping this promise to myself I can build a solid foundation and bond my true spirit within this human vessel I now occupy making myself twice as strong. My goal in keeping this promise is to create a life that is doubly strong in this mad mad world I live in today❤
Here is a poem I wrote the other day keeping in this vein. Everyday, more and more I strive to observe more and speak less.