Spirituality

Oneness of love

I’m back from my hiatus dear readers feeling rested and refreshed! It was important for me to listen to the messages I was receiving internally that were guiding me to take this much needed break from my usual routines of writing and posting online. I established a new writing ritual in a workbook I purchased called, “The Goddess Journaling Workbook” by Beatrix Minerva Linden. Each day there are two questions to focus on highlighting a different goddess divided into 6 cycles for the entire year. I have found this exercise to be highly stimulating for my imagination. I also keep a daily journal and have done so for many many years. This workbook is a welcome addition to my writing practice.

Reflections of goddess energy

I’ve also recommitted to my self care routine this past month. I like to visualize myself as water, filling each moment with my entire being. Maintaining an “all in” mentality, holding nothing back and giving all of my open heart to wherever my focus is. Leaning into the connectedness of God and the beautiful creations found in our world. Choosing to reject the illusion of separateness is something I meditate on daily asking for the strength I need to thrive in our current human condition. This practice is vital to my self healing routine and my role as a shamanic healer to stay in touch with my most vital relationship to self and the environment. I took some day trips to the beach and to my favorite parks to perform Earth blessings. Each one helped me gain more appreciation of God’s unconditional love for us and how available that feeling is inside of each and everyone of us at all times! It’s truly awe inspiring and can be called upon, accessed by setting the intention for it. Vowing to live a more heart centered life, where I intend to live my daily life in true alignment with my personal values, purpose, inner mortality, personal experiences and intuition. The fullness I feel, the inspiration that has grown within me giving my creativity a boost was exactly what I needed. Here are the poems I wrote during my time away from the laptop, writing exclusively with pen and paper for the past few weeks was so freeing!

I am love mantra
Lessons learned observing nature 🦆
My day at the beach, a poem 🏖
Listening to life’s harmony
Heart 1st and open 💗
Seeking reconnection 💙
Back to basics, heart centered ❤
Seeking refuge inside
Strong spirited

Reading these here, I can see the progression of my internal story within these poems. Since March, the energy driving me was very yang in nature and powerful. This month I’ve noticed I’ve shifted into a more yin energy which feels much more serene and calm. The ending of an 10 year chapter of self healing, reconnection to soul and a personal renaissance serving as a time of transformative change. This is a change that included my attitude, behavior, habits, health and spirit. A tune up for my heart and soul to realign myself in a way that feels much more authentic inside and out. For me this meant major changes in the ways I eat, dress, analyze, prioritize and engage with the world around me. It also showed me the relationships I wanted to deepen and the ones I was ready to let go of. My partner has undergone his own awakening in light of mine which commenced fifteen months ago. In this past month, I feel much more connected to him because of his own inner growth and healing.

There is no growth without pain my dears and these past months have highlighted areas of my life that required brutal honesty that at times was excruciatingly painful to look at. Some days, it took everything in me to keep going, exercising my resilient nature by not allowing anything to ever hold me back from expressing my true self.. I made this promise while in the psychiatric hospital in 2011 after my suicide attempt. I’m grateful beyond words for the challenges I have faced, learned from and conquered. This is a quote that comes to mind when I think about my journey thus far,

“It’s sometimes the prettiest of smiles that hold the deepest secrets, the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest of hearts that have felt the most pain”.

I can relate so much to these words and they resonate deeply within my soul.

I also updated my business cards and created a hat I can wear to promote myself. I’ve never met a hat I didn’t love and this one is no different. I strive each day to live my motto of, “Triumphing over Trauma” proving that when you set your heart to change, anything is possible. Greatness of spirit is achievable and powered by love.

Emotional Musings 🥰

Please click on this link for everything Emotional Musings included my contact information for healing sessions, my books and social media

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

   

Spirituality

Heart’s a flutter

Since Saturday’s Lion’s Gate portal opening and breathwork ceremony that I took part in I have been feeling on top of the world my dear readers! The ceremony was especially powerful delivering so much continued healing for my mind, body and spirit. If you get an opportunity to participate in a breathwork class, do it!! Breathwork is extremely transformative and fosters healing on a physical, mental and spiritual level giving your body just what it needs. It helps to relive or re-experience traumatic events and process deep emotional wounds. The practice is also somatic and weaves together mindfulness and sound vibrations in such a way that I find incredibly soothing. My entire body buzzes as I can hear my own blood flowing through my body. I have laughed, cried and moaned creating noises that are guttural in nature and deliver a feeling of tremendous bliss afterwards. This particular session was extremely visual thanks to my spirit guides and the information shared with me from Divine. My dear soul sister Chrissy Marie holds them once or twice a month via Zoom. Check her out on Instagram @comealivewithchrissymarie

My heart is so incredibly full and expansive. As an intuitive empath, I usually receive clues regarding such transformative events beforehand that I know will impact me in this way and it was no surprise to me that Friday afternoon while sitting in my favorite park I felt a rush of serene energy wash over me. My entire aura turned blue in color which represents an eased nervous system, a balanced existence that alchemizes life force energy into an overall feeling of cool, calm and collectedness. It felt like my entire body, mind and spirit took a deep breath and was relieved….a real AH-HA moment. I wrote this poem soon after sitting with myself for what felt like hours🥰

Restoration of faith

On Sunday my son Ty and I spent the entire day outdoors enjoying the beautiful but super hot and steamy weather here in South Florida. My mindset continued to shift and process what I like to refer to as waves of change in a much less resistant manner than that of the last three months. I believe all the deeply concentrated inner and introspective work I have been doing is finally paying off coupled with a more relaxed astral energy in our cosmos currently. It’s a welcomed breath of fresh air for sure!

Waves of change

August is a big month for my family and friends birthday wise. I have a long list of loved ones that celebrate their revolution around the Sun this month. My niece and goddaughter turned 21 yesterday which is such a milestone birthday. I am so blessed to have played an integral role in her upbringing and was the 3rd person to hold her after she was born! Gabriela was the first baby born between my two closest sisters and I, her birth was incredibly monumental for our family. Here is a picture of our first meeting and the poem I wrote in her honor to celebrate and remember the day.

First time I held Gabriela
Happy 21st birthday

I’ve decided to take the rest of this month to continue processing and enjoy my newly found footing and freedom of spirit. I won’t be posting here for at least the next two weeks and have also decided to take a much needed detox from my other social media platforms. Going off the grid by putting myself in an intentional blackout is good for my self care. I will continue my other writing practices, I just won’t be posting anything publicly. I have been receiving many messages that it’s time for me to start writing my long awaited memoir, a project I have been contemplating for many years now. I would like to take the rest of August to get started on that and see where it leads me.

If you’d like to contact me for a tarot card reading, shamanic healing session or check out my three books of poetry please follow this link below. It’s a one stop place for everything Maria Teresa and Emotional Musings. Enjoy the rest of your summer my dear ones. So much love to you all😎

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Writing from my soul

My dear readers this piece may seem rambling yet it’s a peek inside my stream of consciousness journal. When I read it back to myself I often chuckle because I think in such rhyme and metaphor. I amuse myself on days like today when my heart strings are being especially tugged. Today is my eldest son’s 19th birthday. It also marks exactly 3 months since I kissed my partner goodbye, for now, we plan on being reunited here soon once he can get his personal affairs in order. Our current world’s dilemma gave our lives a really good shakeup, as it did everybody else🌍

Don’t get me wrong, this is by no means a negative thing. Change and transformation are necessary in life. I chose to embrace whatever is thrown at me with a “it is what it is” mentality and roll with it. That’s the challenge, life is 10% of what happens and 90% how you react or respond to it. My dear readers, since my mission here with my blog is to be 100% transparent, you can clearly read about my challenges. I absolutely refuse to let anything take me down, out or under…..EVER! It’s the warrior in me to survive, learn and keep pushing forward embracing each moment for what it is💪

Just one year ago I made myself some self care promises to include certain practices that I wanted to instill into my life daily. Reading, journaling, meditating and exercising are the four agreements I keep with myself (I’m a huge fan of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The 4 Agreements”). This routine, along with a few others are non negotiables for me. They are how I survive in this world as a woman who is extremely self aware, an intuitive empath with keen psychic abilities who has a gigantic heart. I must protect myself and love myself first and foremost. Here’s a peek at what I scribbled today✒

“This writer’s soul is a place I often go to hide from the thunderous energies and plunders of all the others. Negativity is such a bummer as it pulls me down in spirals that threaten to darken my upbeat and light morale. Whenever I feel a quivering sickness inside my belly, investigate I will to search out its origin of dwelling. Perpetually it’s another’s hell I’ve uncovered seeing through to their sickness and confusion. It closes in on my light without much warning. Always vigilant and prepared, I mentally construct my light shield and soon I’m covered. A bright white wall of light six feet around and six feet high, I slip inside and now safely occupy. I can take a deep breath now. My mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and cosmic energy is fully intact inside this wall while I never wander away mindlessly far from home without it. I’ve spent years constructing this wall of light, brick by brick so nothing can penetrate it, it’s so thick. Mostly it’s in place to block out other’s fears that threaten to distract my train of heart and love”.

My fellow empaths understand exactly what I’ve just described here because they too use this mental exercise in their bag of coping tricks. I thought I should share it in case anybody else is having a tough time out there dealing with some people who just seem to walk around in a cloud of darkness. There’s nothing wrong with them, it’s just that we empaths can get really thrown off by this vibration and most often it’s best not to absorb it if we can catch it. Then we can continue to shine and spread out our love’s light. I envision empaths as the human version of the Care Bears🌈

God’s smiling at us🌈

Here’s the poem I wrote in honor of Ty’s birthday. I’m regularly blown away by this young man. Lately, people have mistaken him for my brother which I must admit is hilarious 🤣 He takes after his father height wise at almost 6 feet while I’ve remained 5’2 since 7th grade!

“You electrify my ❤”

Today at the park, I recorded myself reciting it😊

For my Ty💗

Lastly, this is a poem I wrote describing what this past year has truly felt like, reclaiming my soul and going through this spiritual awakening. I’m more me now than ever. Blessings and love to you all my dears 🙏

Want to contact me for a tarot card reading or a shamanic healing session? Check out my books of poetry available on Amazon. Click this one link for all my information in one place😊

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Bloom where you grow

On days like today, I don’t avoid the rain but purposely go out into it, with my bike or on foot. Today I chose my bike. I like to go for long rides up to 20 miles on some days. The last time I rode in the rain I was annoyed, frustrated and just wanted to get it over. Today’s ride was born from those feelings, they are what drove me out into the storm. The rain holds the magic in which I cleanse my soul while drenching my entire being and allows for clarity. Often in these past two weeks, I have felt utterly lost in emotion.

“Lost”

I have been running from myself for years. Avoiding, dissociating, distracting myself with many different things like abusing alcohol, over exercising, excessive talking and other people’s troubles. Anything to not feel me. Lately I have discovered the wisdom in stillness and quiet. Emotional dysfunction whispers lies yet my soul knows there is always hope. I no longer have the luxury of doing the types of activities and maladaptive behaviors that keep me separated from myself, they have officially run their course. As I write this post, the two songs that have played from my playlist were Phil Collins, “In the Air Tonight” and Bill Withers “Lean on Me”. Both are appropriate for this post because their lyrics shine light on exactly how I have been feeling these past couple of weeks. My feelings have brought me to another layer of shedding what no longer serves, letting go of attachments to allow for my authentic self to come through. Thank you God for showing me in practical, real life instances to lean on you. I certainly have felt this coming for some time, especially at night.

“Attached”

Learning to become a shamanic healer has taught me that I must first face the challenges in my life, the very ones that I’ve avoided in order to fully help others in their own healing. I must first heal my own soul as a requirement for this role. It’s been whispering to me, “it’s time Maria” and “you can do this”. All the while I have felt so utterly alone. Despite living with both my parents and my son. This minus my partner has made my heart feel so blue without him. He’s my best friend and companion, the person who nudges me out of my seriousness and all the pressure I put upon myself. He accepts me fully no questions asked. We made arrangements for his arrival this week that have been unfortunately postponed for the time being due to circumstances beyond both of our control. That question of “what is in my control” has been popping up a lot lately and I have been taking a lot of what’s been going on personally, which does me no good. I learn so much about myself through our relationship which a big reason I respect, admire and love him as I do. This time apart has presented another opportunity for me to fully accept myself, on my own. I feel so different since we were last together and fear started creeping in again. Would he still love me?

“Mirror”

My ride today solidified that the way I was going about this situation isn’t serving me best. I can’t look to anyone or anything to give me these answers. During these long wet rides, I talk to myself and God. That’s when it hit me, I have to rely on God who aids my own inner strength for these realizations. I’m meant to be alone for a bit longer and really I’m never truly alone. That’s an illusion my mind has been telling myself forever, since my confusing childhood years that were loud and scary. As a middle child, I have always had others around me. I have lived alone for very short amount of time in my life. In the total of my 42 years I’ve probably spent less than one year on my own. The light that shines brightly within can’t be denied and I love myself for knowing that, for feeling that again.

Since May, moving and starting this apprenticeship I have seen the different aspects of my being that I have avoided, tried to erase, betrayed and denied. If one is to be whole, ALL of these parts must be integrated into an I AM mantra and belief. There is no separation, no duality, no personality that owns my whole. For I AM all of them which today gives me comfort, no longer fear or shame.

I keep writing throughout all of these realizations and ah-ha moments. This morning after meditation, the message I kept hearing was, “Maria, bloom where you grow”. Then I wrote this poem. While I’m writing this paragraph, Dolly Parton’s “Wildflowers” is playing. This song is exactly how I have felt my entire life. Listen my dear readers…..

Lao Tzu said, “Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Have the patience to wait! Be still and allow the mud to settle.” Patience is a virtue I have been cultivating in my garden of growth for years now. After my bike ride arriving home, I feel at peace and I can say the water is running clear my dear readers.

Please check out my three books of poetry available now on Amazon at the links below

Spirituality

The wounded healer interview

Go to https://mentalhealthathome.org/2020/06/25/wounded-healer-interviews-maria-emotional-musings/ to read my interview for Ashleigh’s interview series. I didn’t realize how both empowering and healing doing this interview would be for me. I always say I have lived a few lifetimes in this one life journey here and this reinforces that concept for me.

Enjoy your day my dear readers!

Please check out my 3 books of poetry available on Amazon at the links below!