I’m back from my hiatus dear readers feeling rested and refreshed! It was important for me to listen to the messages I was receiving internally that were guiding me to take this much needed break from my usual routines of writing and posting online. I established a new writing ritual in a workbook I purchased called, “The Goddess Journaling Workbook” by Beatrix Minerva Linden. Each day there are two questions to focus on highlighting a different goddess divided into 6 cycles for the entire year. I have found this exercise to be highly stimulating for my imagination. I also keep a daily journal and have done so for many many years. This workbook is a welcome addition to my writing practice.
I’ve also recommitted to my self care routine this past month. I like to visualize myself as water, filling each moment with my entire being. Maintaining an “all in” mentality, holding nothing back and giving all of my open heart to wherever my focus is. Leaning into the connectedness of God and the beautiful creations found in our world. Choosing to reject the illusion of separateness is something I meditate on daily asking for the strength I need to thrive in our current human condition. This practice is vital to my self healing routine and my role as a shamanic healer to stay in touch with my most vital relationship to self and the environment. I took some day trips to the beach and to my favorite parks to perform Earth blessings. Each one helped me gain more appreciation of God’s unconditional love for us and how available that feeling is inside of each and everyone of us at all times! It’s truly awe inspiring and can be called upon, accessed by setting the intention for it. Vowing to live a more heart centered life, where I intend to live my daily life in true alignment with my personal values, purpose, inner mortality, personal experiences and intuition. The fullness I feel, the inspiration that has grown within me giving my creativity a boost was exactly what I needed. Here are the poems I wrote during my time away from the laptop, writing exclusively with pen and paper for the past few weeks was so freeing!
Reading these here, I can see the progression of my internal story within these poems. Since March, the energy driving me was very yang in nature and powerful. This month I’ve noticed I’ve shifted into a more yin energy which feels much more serene and calm. The ending of an 10 year chapter of self healing, reconnection to soul and a personal renaissance serving as a time of transformative change. This is a change that included my attitude, behavior, habits, health and spirit. A tune up for my heart and soul to realign myself in a way that feels much more authentic inside and out. For me this meant major changes in the ways I eat, dress, analyze, prioritize and engage with the world around me. It also showed me the relationships I wanted to deepen and the ones I was ready to let go of. My partner has undergone his own awakening in light of mine which commenced fifteen months ago. In this past month, I feel much more connected to him because of his own inner growth and healing.
There is no growth without pain my dears and these past months have highlighted areas of my life that required brutal honesty that at times was excruciatingly painful to look at. Some days, it took everything in me to keep going, exercising my resilient nature by not allowing anything to ever hold me back from expressing my true self.. I made this promise while in the psychiatric hospital in 2011 after my suicide attempt. I’m grateful beyond words for the challenges I have faced, learned from and conquered. This is a quote that comes to mind when I think about my journey thus far,
“It’s sometimes the prettiest of smiles that hold the deepest secrets, the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest of hearts that have felt the most pain”.
I can relate so much to these words and they resonate deeply within my soul.
I also updated my business cards and created a hat I can wear to promote myself. I’ve never met a hat I didn’t love and this one is no different. I strive each day to live my motto of, “Triumphing over Trauma” proving that when you set your heart to change, anything is possible. Greatness of spirit is achievable and powered by love.
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