Not matter the current circumstances my dear readers, I am choosing to reject all of the fear being pumped into our society currently. Despite the fact that it is Friday the 13th and the Coronavirus is threatening the health of millions, billions throughout all of humanity……keep in the love vibe. Please. Love is the highest and most powerful of all energy vibrations ❤
Here are eight helpful tips you can practice to keep love running through your mind, body and spirit 🥰
Become conscious of your thoughts. Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality. We truly are our thoughts💭
Find something beautiful and appreciate it. I do this through meditation and visualization.
Be conscious of the foods you eat. Again, you are what you eat.
Drink water and plenty of it. It’s the best way to rid the body of toxins
Meditate. For at least 5 to 15 minutes every day. It’s a muscle that can be built over time, repetition and practice. I have been incorporating meditation into my daily routine for 10 years now and practicing yoga for 20. It’s never perfect but is progress in keeping myself balanced and centered 🧘♀️
Be grateful. Especially with yourself. Show others kindness and practice the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated🙌
Practice acts of kindness. Both random and intentional, our world needs this now more than ever✌
Get your blood pumping by moving your body for at least 20 minutes daily. Why not smile while doing it too….studies show that smiling while exercising has an even more beneficial impact on your overall health in the long term 😁
No matter what, reject all fear. Stay in the love vibration ❤🙌
This morning my creative mind wanted to play around with different types of poetry formats. Tapping into my passionate heart and my ability to empathize, using compassion to understand humanity. My message here is to love one another now more than ever❤
My dear reader’s I have been having noticing a reoccurring confirmation from friends, mentors along with the messages I receive from the Universe regarding how to obtain lasting happiness. It boils down to this….. it’s definitely an inside job! Nothing external, meaning outside oneself, can make you happy and keep you that way. Boy oh boy has this been a tough lesson to learn for me. There are so many mixed messages out there especially when you are bombarded with advertising promising you that this product or that program will give you all you ever dreamed of along with happiness. It takes going beneath the surface of everything in our society to get the real answer on this one my dears🤔
I firmly believe that a connection to both a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, I chose to call it God and a deep connection with yourself is needed for inner peace and happiness. I myself disconnected from myself many years ago due to trauma and the increasing fear it inflicted upon my life. Over the years, I abandoned belief, trust and love of myself. When I was sexually molested as a child, I internalized that pain and blamed myself. I never told anybody about it so that wound just grew and grew😪
The beliefs I had then were screaming at me everytime something challenging came up like, “you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve that” and “you’re a failure so stop trying.” Either of these beliefs can be destructive to one’s self esteem but both of them wrecked havoc and destroyed my aspirations and dreams. Not to mention the times in my life when I have succumbed to a case of the “fuck its” and chose to be completely self destructive going scorched Earth with my life by quitting everything and everybody with no explanations and running away. I’ve done that too many times during my 42 years that I care to recall here🙄
I tell you dear readers all of this to be able to exclaim that those darker days are officially over! I have faced the pit of my issues, healing from sexual abuse over these past 10 months. I have been able to establish my management position at an amazing boutique downtown. I am about to self publish my second book of poetry. I have gone back into the dance studio and am loving class again. I have attended 2 poetry slams so far this year. I have an interview article coming out soon highlighting my writing career here in Dallas. These are my external accomplishments and achievements but what means more to me on an intimately personal and much deeper level is the acceptance of myself and living authentically every damn day with no apologies. I now know true inner peace😊
It’s a major shift of perspective for me to realize that only I can advance or derail my success in life. The main ingredient for this depends on your level of self love. Since June, I have been treating myself a whole heck of a lot better. I’m my own best friend and caregiver. It will still be a work in progress but the internal dialogue with myself, the many parts of me that clammer for attention like my inner child which is still wounded at times, my ego (thinking mind), my instinctive personality (INFJ) and then my intuition which is my highest self’s voice and my soul has reached a point where I can recognize each of these bits of Maria so that I can make decisions based upon my best interests. This is a humungous difference from the previous years of my adulthood! I can honestly say the more I pause to decide how to respond to life’s ebbs and flows, the more I can differentiate between the many facets of me!
For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of being off work and enjoying some much needed free time. I have been listening to 963 Hz tone frequency on the SoundHeal app during my meditation time. At this frequency I’m stimulating and balancing the Sahasrara, thousand petaled or crown chakra. This is generally considered the 7th primary chakra which is the energy center for understanding according to most tantric yoga traditions. It can be used to attain a state of Nivana-oneness. This frequency returns the system to its original state. It is said that when a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, the energy of consciousness, to this chakra the state of Nirvikalpa Samodhi is experienced. Ah….yessssss🧘♀️
Well all I can tell you is due to my sensitivity I have been experiencing some amazing benefits from using this frequency. Today, I felt filled with energy. So much so that I went for a long run/walk that amounted to my own personal marathon! I used my MapRun app to track my time/distance/pace and honestly, I didn’t turn it on from the beginning so add another 3 miles to this total…..I completed 27 1/2 miles today 🏃♀️
Along the way I was singing out loud to my favorite female 90s pop icons like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I even took a detour to the swings and satisfied little Maria’s love for swinging! It was a welcome break from the path and I must admit felt so fantastic🥰 I just love the exhilarating feeling I get from pumping my legs in order to get as high as I can reach on a swing! This particular swing set is located around mile 8 or so on the running trail that circles White Rock Lake. I observed some very picturesque moments that I captured like these birds sitting in the trees over the lake.
I just adore the feeling I get being out in nature by myself. I feel so alive and whole as is evident in this selfie I took 😎
I saw this sentiment near the elevators on a floor of the hotel I work inside a few days ago and quickly snapped a picture of it as inspiration for this post. I agree with Ms. Turner 100%
Lastly, this one sums it up quite honestly and definitely reflects where I am today on my journey. Love, light & peace ❤🌠✌
Well my dear readers, I finally had some professional photographs taken for my media portfolio, upcoming new book of poetry, “Emotional Musings 2” (I plan on self publishing it again on Amazon sometime this month y’all so stay tuned) and another surprise that I’m gonna tease you with here😉
I met Allan Willis II in the boutique I manage a few weeks ago when he came in shopping with his wife. We developed a natural connection as artists and I mentioned needing some photographs taken for my portfolio. It all unfolded so organically which I love❤
Sunday I woke up bright and early ready for our shoot! I asked my sales associate and dear friend Allie to help me with my makeup since she used to work for Christian Dior. We had so much fun getting everything just right for my big close up📸
The entire next few hours went by in a breeze because I was so comfortable with not only my surroundings but with myself. The last professional photoshoot I did was when I was dancing and holding poses is very different than what we did for my author pictures. Think ok…..hold your leg high and 1-2-3 BAM or ready set jump in the air while looking the best you can and GO🤪 Afterwards, Allan told me he didn’t really have to do any building with me after taking some test shots which made me feel really good inside🤗
I have notoriously not enjoyed being the subject of pictures because I’m so hard on myself stemming from having an eating disorder and body dysmorphia when I was dancing. My mother has always been a pictures fanatic which I too have a love/hate relationship with. Having to pose for pictures is unnatural for me and I can see my unease in those types of pictures instantly which makes me not like them or the experience at all….and that cycle has goes on and on for years🙄
This experience completely changed my view of being the main subject of a picture! I even told Allan that if he ever needs a model for anything to please call me. I can honestly and truly feel myself transforming from that shy, no self esteem, forced happiness trying to ignore my wounded inner child adult into a self confident, self assured and empowered woman when I look that these pictures. He was able to capture my love of being in a big city, free spirited essence with flair and my bohemian chic style🌈🌠❤
I have recently come across some posts discussing how in our society we are conditioned to view self care and self love as selfishness and I can whole heartedly agree with that. For my entire life up until June ’19 I have put others before myself. When I was a stay at home mother my biggest mistake was not taking care of myself enough. This is the longest stretch where I have stayed true to the promise of taking care of myself first and foremost, a 180 degree change for the better and I’m doing it consistently. I am proud of myself for this. I have obtained so much inner peace this way, caring for my spirit and nurturing myself. It’s not always easy and those I love push my boundaries a lot but I refuse to give in and go back to the old Maria.
I have written before about how I always knew from reading my astrological chart that I would be a late bloomer, not really coming into my own until midlife. This is the opposite of a midlife crisis, this is midlife contentment. I’m finally loving not only myself but where I am in life. I may not be rich but I’m wealthy in karma. I do my best each day to stay in the moment and enjoy life. I’m letting go of old beliefs surrounding perfectionism and embracing my own emotions, not allowing other’s emotions to drag me down (#empathproblems) I’m healing and honoring my inner child while observing how that has helped make a big shift in my behaviors not only with myself but with others. As always, I remain hopeful and hold tremendous faith that the Divine has my back. I’m stepping into this new, shiny and much lighter version of me and I couldn’t be happier💃😊
Getting back on the horse after a wonderfully restful 4 days off while my son was here. The 1st day back always gives me trouble yet I’m determined to keep pushing myself forward.
Started working on a new post incorporating this new poem about letting go. I entitled it “Control” and is still another opportunity to recognize my recovering from perfectionism. The Universe will gives you lessons over and over again until you learn from them. This lesson has been a hard learned one for me because for so long on the inside, I kept a white knuckle grip on life while maintaining an Oscar worthy performance smile on my face! Ultimately, I was only kidding and hurting myself.
I love this picture so I borrowed it from a friend of mine’s Instagram page….
Everyday is another opportunity to continue this work in progress which is the journey to self😊
Focusing on what I love about myself while in this Mercury retrograde aka clean out period. Letting go of that which no longer serves me, making room for what does…..and that means what makes me tick💃❤😁
A big lesson that I have been practicing dear reader’s is detaching with love. I must reserve my previous energy, specifically emotional, for myself. The two hardest concepts I have been wrestling with for years are balance and boundaries. I have a ginormous heart and I want to love the world, sometimes that comes at the detriment to myself and my own needs. Self betrayal has been an ongoing theme throughout my life. I was conditioned to think that I needed to mold to what others expected from me and if I could do that, in return I would receive the love and acceptance I so desired.
My parents did the best they could but my mother has narcissistic Borderline personality disorder and unresolved personal trauma. She too was sexually abused. Did somebody say generational trauma….yes 100% true. My father has been emotionally absent my entire life. He is an only child raised by parents who believed children should be seen and not heard. He was born in the early 1930s, a product of that time. He also owned a car dealership and was a workaholic in my formative years. I don’t blame them however I received loads of mixed messages.
As an adult on my healing journey for the past ten years, I have learned lessons the extreme and hard way. I have put myself in harm’s way and have literally had to bang my head against a wall to “get it”. Currently during this planetary releasing period, I feel the Universe is teaching me what perhaps others much younger than me got the memo on as a teenagers. Again, I can beat myself up just fine by morphing into my own worst enemy. Most recently I am releasing the perfectionism ingrained within me. The desire to be what I deem as perfect can look like any number of things. These include being happy and upbeat all the time. That leaves me stuffing any other emotion for fear of not being accepted by those around me.
I am really recognizing and embracing all of this. It is forcing me to concentrate my energy into what makes me feel most alive. Moving my body whether it’s dancing in my room or going for a run ignites my spirit, that fire in my belly like nothing else. The weather here in Dallas has been so up and down. Yesterday was hot almost 80 degrees while today it’s raining and back to the 40s. All the while I’m trying to wait patiently for one of my favorite humans to visit me this week, my son 🥰
I wrote this poem last night…..getting myself pumped up for a fun 4 day weekend😁
The thoughts of a recovering perfectionist need to be parsed out. When the other shoe drops, oh boy can it ever….my mind becomes scrambled eggs. I can’t string one thought to the next while I doubt everything my mind presents me. Hi again, Complex PTSD thinking, nice to see you again, insert sarcasm. Listen, I have been on this awakening ride long enough to realize the healing comes in waves. Never all at once. How would we learn that way. At least I sure don’t.
My soul yearns to be the compass most days. I have understanding enough to know that reality is an illusion because ego predicts 90% of what we see as truth. It takes a deep dive to see that a higher consciousness is needed to integrate all parts of self. When I find self caught up in my head, deciding my next direction becomes complicated. That’s where I have have found myself lately. Too caught up, fighting my own mind. Giving myself permission to feel this as it flows through my body. Telling myself to go with the flow, the less I resist the more easily it is to let go of these moments instead of becoming paralyzed by them.
Who am I is the reoccurring question throughout my entire life. It has haunted me, left me distraught, distracted and then exhilarated and finally an inner peace that compares to nothing else. The search for self and one’s purpose is so crucial to happiness. I’m in a good space finally. Peace, love & life✌❤