Getting in touch with your emotional truth, by processing feelings to improve the human condition in the 21st century. Living out loud by my motto,"Triumphing over Trauma" 🌈
In light and in shadow, always with ❤
My dear readers, I have been moving through a lot of deeply felt feelings and old emotions. Healing is an ever unfolding journey that reveals truths that at times are hard to face. Bravely, with careful attention to grace, employing patience with myself, I rise each day to uncover more of these truths. It’s my soul’s purpose to keep leaning in with a great curiosity, shining light upon all my life’s experiences. Writing is how I have always processed these events and moments. I believe whatever I am brought to is something to learn from. I will continue to show up here, being authentic and real. This is me.
I haven’t felt much like writing lately in the week since my last post. I’m in a space of observation and exploring, tuning out the noise of technology and tapping into the natural world. I’m unsure how much I will be writing now that I’ve begun a certification in sound healing therapy. I may just be constructing posts with my poetry alone, without the accompanying storyline of where they are plucked from.
What I know is this, it all serves in the healing process, with love and without judgement. We are all continually changing. I’ve learned by allowing the healing to penetrate fully, to solidify the basis for understanding the human condition, I must keep acknowledging, surrendering, releasing and accepting what is. This is me. This blog is my testimony and ongoing story of my triumphs over the traumas I have faced. I am truly grateful and blessed to share this space with so many artists and creative souls. I value each one of you as you help contribute to my own journey of healing and self discovery. From the bottom of my heart, I love you.
If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings paypal.me/tinyd9
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
This post is a slight departure from how I usually share the thoughts, feelings and poems that make up the music of my soul’s journey. The rebirth I’ve had leading me to this new beginning has my feet firmly planted in Divine love and has begun to take shape as I open myself up to more of God’s direction for my life. Every morning I am showered by God’s love, grace and mercy as I pray and meditate, experiencing this world in quite the same way the great mystic and revered St. Ignatius did. I want to thank my dear friend David Duncan of http://davidsdailydose.org who nudged me towards learning more about the life and teachings of this mystical saint. This is a deep dive into the resonace I share with Divine reverence for St. Ignatius.
Ignatius is a name of Latin origin believed to mean “fiery one” and can be compared to the word “ignite”. His famous quote, “go forth and set the world on fire” has always held deep meaning for me as a fiery Sagittarius. I must admit however, until recently I was afraid of my own fire, the immense passion I feel inside for how I process and perceive everything in life. I’ve been hiding behind others in relationships and now I am fully ready to step into my power by living out another one of his great sayings, “act as if everything depended on you; trust as if everything depended on God”.
I recently listened to and learned so much about St. Ignatius from an audiobook called “Ignatian Mysticism, Exploring the Mystical Dimensions of the Spiritual Exercises” by Paul Countinho. Ignatius of Loyola, venerated as Saint Ignatius of Loyola, was a Spanish Basque Catholic priest and theologian, who together with Peter Faber and Francis Xavier founded the religious order called the Society of Jesus and became its first Superior General at Paris in 1541. The Jesuits are known for their missionary, educational, and charitable works. This order was the leading force in the modernizing of the Roman Catholic Church. Ignatius was a pilgrim, always moving and contemplative. I too have been moving around my entire adult life in a contemplative fashion. Mine is one filled with deep and serious thought, writing poetry and daydreaming about the many things that catch my heart as I dwell beneath the surface. My dear readers, that has always been where I’m most comfortable and how I spend my days.
What is a mystic…”a mystic is a person who has a direct experience of the sacred,unmediated by conventional religious rituals or intermediaries and absorption into the Divine. Since I was a child, I have experienced strong feelings, whispers and visions from Spirit yet up until recently never talked about or tapped into any of the wisdom being offered to me out of fear others wouldn’t understand or know what I was talking about. I’ve always known I was different, marching to the beat of my own drum they call it. In June of 2019, all that was always meant for me to learn from God was activated when I met and experienced my first shamanic healing session with my mentor and teacher Lindsey Luna. She performed the most sacred of healings on me, a soul retrieval, which sparked a deep and profound spiritual awakening. That healing finally erased all of the fears I had, cracked my entire world wide open, has since created many accelerated transformations and brought me to the path of becoming a certified master shaman. What I believe be God’s purpose for my life.
The way both St. Ignatius and I have come to know and understand God began through nature and specifically, we view the night sky as God’s masterpiece to behold. My own visions began years ago while I was star gazing. I have been seeing lights, shadows and angels for years now. We believe everything is interconnected and has one Divine identity. It is a right, not a privilege to receive the gifts and graces of God. The pathway to this deepening relationship is ever changing and constantly evolving. Never do I cling to just one experience or idea as my soul came into this life open wide to receive God’s love. Ignatius saw beyond the sexual identity of male or female, race, class or any other category we put people in modern society in today. He chooses to see the pure essence, the shared humanity and consciousness of Divine as One, the Universal law of One. This is true for all of us, including God. It is known in Ignatian Mysticism that no one figure is seen as female or male. We are both Divine feminine and Divine Masculine equally, an important fact that must be retained for balance and harmony to be restored to Earth.
By remaining open and allowing life to happen to me according to God’s will, as St. Ignatius did, we believe God finds us and not the other way around. I don’t lead God, I surrender to Him and He finds me. I have done my fair share of running from and denying God. It wasn’t until a suicide attempt and facing the trauma I have endured all my life that I really began to believe that I was worthy of God’s love. St. Ignatius too had suicidal ideation when he believed he wasn’t enough for God. He then came to understand that it’s not in the doing or finding, living for or overcoming God but in the surrendering to God, when we give ourselves over to the wisdom He is giving to us. God gives us unconditional love while we remain open, trusting with our faith in Him to receive it. God uses us as instruments to spread His message of unconditional love and through my healing practice, I am able do for others what was done for me. Ignatius himself said that belief is a very powerful thing….what if Mary didn’t believe what Archangel Gabriel told her about having a son whom we know to be Jesus Christ? As a shaman, all of the healing I provide is based upon the power of belief. This is an oath I wrote and intentionally follow.
“I vow to be open and honest with myself by follow the path of Spirit. I trust in where I’m being led and that the highest good is the first priority in my healing practice. I promise to allow Spirit’s guidance be the primary source for all the healing I perform and provide for the good of my clients and myself. Everything I ask for is based upon the power of intention and my magic is manifested from it. I use love as a superpower to heal first myself and others who choose to work with me. I remain true to my own spirit and my role as a conduit for the Divine on a Universal level. In light and in shadow, always with love ❤Namaste 🙏
St. Ignatius practiced three ways of praying to communicate with God and I identity with all of them as a daily practice. For many years, I had been yearning to see the face of God and was having spiritual experiences that I now understand much more fully. This is the beauty, mystery and great wonder of the journey of the soul.
The first way is through contemplative prayer, praying from the heart. I open up the core of my being to the wondrous mystery of life which orchestrates transformations to occur. Contemplation is the realization of things, not revelations, of my own spiritual identity. The authentic truth and voice of my soul. Communication with God in this way brings me to sobbing tears as both St. Ignatius and I experience through all of our senses….feeling, seeing and hearing the wisdom of God as musical notes, chords and spheres. I regularly see colored circles called auras around other people. The more I exercise this muscle of prayer, the more my spiritual experiences grow.
The second pathway of prayer is through meditation, which is an observation of the reflections of the mind to include memory, understanding and will. During this time I make resolutions and experience revelations (ah-ha moments). I’ve been deeply devoted to my meditation practice for over ten years now and is one of the most beautiful gifts of healing for the soul.
The third and last way St. Ignatius prayed is through what is called “application of the senses” which is a consciousness, presence and awareness of God. Breathing in, drinking of the image of God in all living things with all the senses. I go into an altered state of consciousness to communicate with Spirit which is how I provide healing for myself and others as a shaman. I’m aware of all the dimensions not merely the 3D physical plane. St. Ignatius practiced this too as a way of life, living and experiencing the world through the senses. Believing strongly in the flow, the tremendous gift that all of life is granted us by the Source of all, an infinite and all present God.
Last summer while I was studying to become a shaman and during my apprenticeship, I continuously and intentionally opened myself up to the miracle of Divine essence through all of creation, becoming recharged by God and began to view the whole of creation as sacred. By the end of July I became aware for the 1st time that I was actively channeling Spirit and I believe this poem is a direct message from St. Ignatius. In it, I feel the white rays of the Sun and the Light, Jesus Christ. I now understand that I have been unaware during my life how often I channel Spirit because my soul is so open. My work has helped me control my vessel so I can sleep more easily and not be awakened by them all hours of the night. That fact was a regular occurrence for Ignatius too until he established boundaries with Spirit over when he would receive messages.
My dear readers, I took twenty-two pages of notes from this audiobook and could go further with the similarities and beliefs I share with St. Ignatius. I’ve learned a great deal more about myself through his life and am completely fascinated by him. I feel a deep endearment and a kindred love towards the man. I am an Ignatian Mystic. I believe with my whole heart that true power comes directly from my relationship with God as I continuously open myself up to receive Him. Love is not merely meant to give but to receive. By receiving God, I deepen my relationship with Him which provides meaningful purpose for my life. I am a woman of God, who possesses me and who uses me to help heal others, a gracious and humbling honor. I enjoy and celebrate the fullness of life with its intimate pleasures. I’m committed to a total union and communion with the Divine. After all of the darkness and trauma in my life, finding my identity within the Divine and experiencing the interconnectedness with all of life makes my heart sing and my body dance. I’m free to bask in the sunlight of Spirit, eternally grateful, full of peace, joy and love.
Hey dear readers, I have updated my Linktree so go check it out! If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings paypal.me/tinyd9 In light and in shadow, always with love ❤ Namaste 🙏
Over this past weekend, with the arrival of Spring 2021 I experienced a major shift that has ushered in a new path on my soul’s journey. The process of allowing death to a part of myself that no longer serves and the the rebirth of a more integrated and whole self. Death to Ladysag77, the pen name I began writing with when I first started sharing my poetry publicly and being reborn Maria Teresa, poet and healer. This has taken 21 months of gestation, the labor of healing myself through the many paths I shared in my last post https://emotionalmusings.com/2021/03/18/many-paths-lead-to-healing-this-is-what-mine-looks-and-feels-like/ A few key events also triggered this next level of my soul awakening journey. This is my testimonial of healing, death and rebirth.
Friday the 19th, I accidentally locked myself out of the poetry app Mirakee and couldn’t log back in. I had been logged in since 2018 ( I know right? 😆) and not being able to get back on right away was quite perplexing for me as a writer being cut off from my body of work with hundreds of my poems that are the many pieces to my soul. At the same time the most difficult decision I have ever had to make was weighing heavily upon me, revealing its truth. This is something that has been sitting on my heart for almost a year now and recent events proved that the best decision I had to make is in choosing myself. I have decided to leave a long term relationship with my partner of almost eight years. This is the worst kind of pain I have ever experienced. Period. I don’t quite have the words yet to fully describe the avalanche of emotions that have been triggered for me. I do know however that this is another layer that is necessary in the healing process. I am detaching with love from my soul mate, my one true love.
More than ever before I feel compelled by my soul to further spread my wings and soar to greater heights as my purpose deepens and reveals the process of awakening and aliveness to me. The fire within me roars strong and bright. At the same time, the wounded inner child within me is begging to be seen and the following videos and poems are how I honor her. Little Maria is now being cared for by Maria Teresa. I have sole ownership over my heart. I have retained its key from my partner who needs to do his own healing. I pray for him to see his way clear to his own soul. Parts of me are dying, I’ve lost my best friend and all I can do is ride the waves of emotion as best as I can. Balancing the ebb and flow as the seas of change bring me closer to where I’m meant to further grow.
Recommitting to myself by continuing to do what scares me. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone fosters change. My path has been so accelerated, at times I want to just quit but I can’t. I made a promise to my soul to be who I am and express what I’m learning along the way. No more hiding. I am facing the toughest of life challenges with all the tools I’ve learned these past ten years. What I’m experiencing has rocked and shaken me to the very core. I do what I do best, channel them through my creativity. This is a poem about the many faces of transformation that I have been in the last 21 months. I never dreamed becoming me would mean losing you. I pray you find your way. All of my love always. Nothing but love. I know whatever is meant to be, will be.
This is the song my Dad sends me when I feel really sad and am desperately missing him. In the midst of heavy change, my heart is open and bleeding right now. Whatever life hands you is yours to use my dear readers. Life is 90% of how you respond to what happens in every experience. Allow the feelings to flow out, use the experience as an opportunity to grow. This is how the roots of transformation are sown. Planting them deeply by using self love as fertile ground. When the pain of staying stuck propels you to do something different. I choose to see the light within the shadows, to rise again and again. Using my love as a superpower that propels me into the next experience. Learning whatever I can to grow within the moments.
Saturday morning I was out for a run, warming up my body and locking into selflove and care. This is a song that always gets me up, movin and groovin. Rebirth for me means that I’m allowing the seeds of newness that were planted in the winter to bloom into life, to be expressed through soul. My soul loves to dance which is my most favorite and true expression. In ancient times, a shaman would ask the members of the tribe that needed care when was the last time they sang or danced. My dear readers, I sing and dance every single day. I’m alive and life is to be celebrated ✨
My dear friends nicknamed me “the Sun” because my natural energy is fiery, my attitude is upbeat and matches my bubbly personality. The dancing I do is always improvisational, never choreographed. I spent time at the beach yesterday afternoon gathering myself, soaking up the light rays of the mighty Sun and this energy came through telling me to go LIVE on my Instagram. I have deleted the Ladysag77 account and will be operating from EmotionalMusings on all of the social media platforms, please follow me there my friends. This is me, this is my soul. I came here to shake shit up, love and be free.
Shout out to my man Mr. Michael Franti “Love Invincible” and his other tunes have been healing my soul for years ❤ Peace, love and so much freaking light my loves.
On my resume in the biography section it says, “I have a special talent for taking lemons and making lemonade”. I have so many blessings to be grateful for right now. Next month I will be embarking upon two awesome adventures. First, I am taking a one year certification course in sound healing to further my knowledge of how music heals the mind, body and spirit. This will add another layer to the shamanic healing sessions I offer my clients. I incorporate the drum, rattles, finger chimes and tuning fork along with my voice to amplify sound energy. At the end of the month I will be surprising my youngest son in Rhode Island for his 16th birthday. I haven’t been back to the state I called home for thirteen years since 2016. This trip is a long time coming and I can’t wait to be reunited with my two sons. My oldest has recently moved into his first apartment and I am so damn proud of him. He is such a kind, generous and gifted young man. I’m also planning to reconnect with my sister friends, some of them for the first time in person because we have only known one another through social media. I will be sure to keep you all posted by writing about these experiences in future posts.
In the meantime, life is a combo of positive and negative vibrations that we swim through everyday in what I call an energy soup. It’s up to each one of us to transmute the negatives into positives using love, acceptance and understanding. Dr. Nicole LaPera says,”when we witness and accept all emotions without judgment we allow space for healing. Practice accepting whatever comes up without trying to change it.” I believe that’s how we grow and evolve. I vow to keep doing my part to heal myself and help heal others, one heart at a time.
If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77 paypal.me/tinyd9 In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
“To vibe” with something, by definition, a distinctive feeling or quality capable of being sensed. My dear readers, I relate deeply with my soul. The depths of which I commune with myself and with Spirit are spectacularly awe inspiring and beautiful. The journey of my soul, the information that is revealed as I continue to investigate and heal astounds me. Remaining grateful for the peaks and valleys I travel through, understanding that whatever I encounter serves my highest good as I accept myself more fully with each passing day is a blessing. This is what “Triumphing over Trauma” looks like and certainly feels like!
Last week I experienced my first float therapy session. Immediately afterwards I was reminded of how fresh and clean my energetic field had become, relative to the sweat lodge ceremony with my mentor after being anointed a shaman in September. Since that time, I have learned and progressed quite a bit while practicing and living this path. The sacred dance with Spirit is very special to me and I am eternally grateful for the pearls of wisdom I gather along the way. I feel refreshed, restored, rejuvenated and redeemed! I highly recommend it. It was wonderfully peaceful, like heaven on Earth. These poems were birthed from this mindset. As I continue to discover more truth about myself, the deeper I dwell, which is where I feel most comfortable and at home.
I recorded this video yesterday to give you all a taste of what it’s like in a shamanic healing session with me. These are the mantras I begin with to connect to a client’s energy field and highest self. This is an art and my soul incorporates the healing qualities and vibrations of poetry, music and singing into each session. Along with sacred tools like crystals, herbs,oils and tarot cards, I’m able to see people’s souls and help reconnect them with their authentic spirit guided by my own Spirit mentors and guides. It’s an honor and privilege to see others in this way and assist in the healing process that has profoundly healed and changed my life so completely. I’m always available to answer any questions or inquiries you may have my dear ones. Please reach out in either the comments here or through my contact page and on all social media platforms, excluding Facebook @ladysag77
If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77 paypal.me/tinyd9 In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste 🙏
My dear readers, a creative force drives my passions, which allows me to live a soulful existence upon this planet. I view life and living as a dance, a balancing act that requires careful steps to the everchanging rhythms. The human condition is something I’m constantly and curiously investigating. The need we all seem to have, which is to hold onto what we know and resist change. Over the past year, I have struck up an intimate relationship with change. This living dance I practice has allowed me to live by my soul’s desires. A homecoming for my heart. An art that requires tender care, refining and continuous weeding of what no longer serves to open up to the possibilities life presents.
“In troubled times, there is an urgency to understand ourselves and our world. We have so many questions, and they tug at us night and day, consciously and unconsciously”. These words are a review of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh——one of the most revered spiritual leaders in the world, of his book, “The Art of Living: Peace and Freedom in the Here and Now”. This is what I too find myself in servitude of, the art of living to allow for as much peace and freedom as possible.
Following this path was initially met with quite a resistance, from both myself and my partner. He struggled to see what was emerging from the transformation I was undertaking. My soul was yearning to be free and I intuitively knew that with time, he too would see what was unfolding couldn’t be delayed any longer. The beauty that begs to be poured out from inside of me. I truly have emerged from a cocoon of fear, doubt and unworthiness to a space of trust, hope, faith and unconditional love.
This is intentional living, making decisions from a place of love for myself and well-being. Opening myself up at first was incredibly scary and produced a lot of anxiety. The pain of change proved great enough to see me through the fear and brought me to a place of loving kindness and forgiveness within my being. The more I practice tapping into this well of abundance inside, the deeper the love that shines there grows. Practicing this on a daily basis has continued to heal me mentally (mind), emotionally(heart centered), body (physical health) and spiritually (soul). Today I allow myself to do what I feel and share it with others.
Life is so precious and short. Despite the ebbs and flow, living life from soul allows me to feel so grateful in each moment. I intentionally and mindfully take off the weight that wants to stay squarely upon my shoulders, keeping me small. No longer will I allow society or anyone else for that matter to dictate how I should live my life. Dancing, practicing yoga, painting, writing poetry and practicing shamanic healing colors my world so brightly and keeps me singing as I walk down the street, which is something I do daily loudly and proudly! By sharing my testimony with others on how I live, I pray it gives others permission to shine more brightly. Be who you are my dears and if you don’t like what you see than by all means change it. We each hold tremendous power inside to consistently go after whatever it is we want out of life.
These poems are my soul’s expression for each stage of life, peeling back layers to expose more of my authentic self. This for me is a fine tuning, a constant refining to the art of living.
In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77 paypal.me/tinyd9