Healing, relationships, Spirituality

My Soul’s Love, a book of spells

Here we are my dear readers in the month of February already, the month of love. The poems in this post reflect open hearted intentions and will be featured in my latest book of poetry, “My Soul’s Love, a book of spells”. My mentor and dear friend, Lindsey Luna suggested to me that I consider writing a book of spells and I must say when I sat with the idea I was very inspired! Many of my poems find themselves in the shamanic healing sessions I conduct with clients and in my intention setting rituals. The messages that have been channeled through me since late summer of 2022 are all centered in love. The final five months of last year I felt myself healing through a long period of karmic relationship patterns that no longer served my being, my purpose and ultimately my heart. I have learned since my awakening four years ago that as I heal, not all relationships are meant to last. It’s taken quiet introspection, many tears and intentional releasing to be able to let go of the people who are no longer in my life. Detaching with love is what guides my steps onwards towards more enriching connections.

I’m thrilled to share with you my dear readers that a few days into 2023, after proclaiming my free fall into faith, I went out with a gentleman who has touched my heart and soul deeply. It feels like we have reunited now in this lifetime after spending other timelines together on a higher plane of existence. Our bond is very natural and feels like home. We laugh easily together and share too many synchronicities to name. Middle age for me has ignited a mid-life renaissance and I feel alive and free in my skin for the first time ever! He likes to tell me how I make his heart smile and I say that he makes my heart sing. It’s exciting to spend time with someone who is reflecting so many of my core beliefs back at me. We are divinely connected in similarities and differences. The future feels very bright with him by my side. As I muse upon the intricate forces of love in my work, he is definitely playing an important role.

Since the inception of this blog in October of 2018, I’ve been musing upon emotions. As an energetically sensitive person, I’ve always been fascinated by the sensations I feel inside myself and from others. Following these clues is how I assist others on their healing journey. I often tell my clients and those who are interested in shamanic healing that I’m never NOT in awe of how Spirit works in mysterious ways and how divinely connected we all are. I am one of many, clear channels, a vessel for Spirit. I would like to share these recent channeled messages as poems, a testimony of my journey into the purest love I have yet to experience as a soul experiencing the physical world on Earth. The density is thinning and paradigms are shifting. The healing work I’ve accomplished has gifted me so much to be grateful for. The love I have dreamed of and prayed for is standing in front of me and all I have to do is accept it. I know I deserve this relationship and am worthy of it. I often tell this sweet man how we are both deserving of one another at this time in our lives after a lot of heartache.

February 5, 2023 we will be experiencing a full moon in Leo. The exact placement of Mars, the ruler if Leo, during this moon cycle’s completion is the exact degree point in my own natal chart. I’ve been dancing through a lot of powerful shifts and energy surges within. This date also marks two years of celebrated sobriety for me, the longest period of sobriety I’ve ever had. Over these two years a lot has changed and I have transformed. I feel amazing!! I know the joy can be felt through my writing here and in my poems.

I want these poems to speak for themselves. To ring clear and true as the heart songs and soul hymns they are. Thank you my dear readers for following me on this journey and supporting me by liking, commenting and sharing this blog. May we all use this new energy as the fresh start it is meant to be and harness the love of our dreams!

If you’re interested in a long distance shamanic healing session via phone, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 6 books of poetry please click the link below. See the Services tab in the menu on this website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Mental health, personal development, Spirituality

Full Moon Fearlessness and Forgiveness

The first full moon of 2021 is upon us dear readers, they call this one a Wolf Moon, which refers to our Native American cultures and their interpretations of the sky’s seasons. Personally, I like to think of this time as a reflection upon my own instincts, pure nature, what needs to be  affirmed, embraced and released. Hello, shadow self and soul integrating healing. At this time I’m observing my need to be forgiving of myself and fearless in my actions moving forward.

And so it is

Embracing both light and shadow aspects isn’t an easy task. It’s a part of my walk as a shaman on the path and how I dance ever more closely with Spirit. Last evening, I was expecting my partner to return from a brief visit back to Dallas when I received word he would be delayed due to the fact he misplaced his ID. Immediately, I turned to my guides and my cards for advice. They assured me that this was just a small delay, the work we have done as a couple has been solidified and he will return. It’s my time to take the pressure off of myself, lay down my sword and cease fighting myself. Being gentle with my being is something that requires patience and practice.

Observing my natural tendency to carry the weight of the world upon my shoulders and hold onto what I perceive as control blocks me from accepting what is while entertaining an uncomfortable level of fear. This affects my self confidence, decision making and causes me to feel fear in moving forward. I believe these cycles are so vital in unraveling our conditioning, embracing more selflove and learning to stay in a more neutral position when I’m viewing myself. Gentleness and kindness foster strength where as harshness and fear create weakness. I embrace all of this as a promise to myself along this healing journey as I continue to liberate my soul. Integration of all my pieces creates balance and harmony. The full moon creates a wonderful opportunity for this.

Mark Nepo writes that, “when we bare our inwardness fully, exposing our strengths and frailties alike, we discover a kinship in all living things….the mystery of being authentic is the only thing that reveals to us our kinship with life”. Being real with myself and others allows me to shine my inwards outwardly. For a woman who spent years hiding, confused and scared of herself for being different and “the weird one”, this speaks to me on so many levels! I don’t need to hide or beat myself up, I get who I am because I accept me. No one else can do this for me and when I can fully be me my dear readers, it gives you permission to fully be you! No more hiding my dear ones, be the best you because our world needs us all.

Dance to your hearts song

This leads me to share with you where I was on Monday. After a freedom feeling bike ride, I went out on my patio, put on some music and danced. Dance makes me feel most alive and is how I cultivate my happy vibes. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal my loves, go out and get it, make your own fun! Happiness and freedom will be yours!

“Good Feeling” by Flo Rida
Free your soul by healing yourself

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Spirituality

A heart full of transformation

What an exciting time to be alive my dear readers. I’m continuing to embrace all the shifts, the beauty in abundance along with all the challenges these past months have brought me. Sometimes I feel I’m crawling, at times standing completely still yet at other times it’s as though I’m living in fast forward. Boy can transformation be disorienting and confusing but all the way powerful! I’m reminded of a saying my partner uses when he’s feeling good, “I’m all the way live”. I’m definitely feeling that today, all the way🥰

I’m almost halfway to completing the 40 hours of intern hours towards my certification to be a shamanic healer. I’ve finalized my trip to Idaho in early September where I will get to spend time with my teacher/dear sister Lindsey Luna and perform my final ritual ceremony. I’m so excited my dears! I haven’t taken a solo trip like this to that part of the country in over ten years. It’s going to be epic. Especially since for the past few months I’ve spent most of my time in quiet solitude.

Today thankfully the clouds parted and the rain let up. We’ve been experiencing a tropical storm here, they originally predicted a hurricane but thankfully it was downgraded. I love to get out on my bike every day but due to the storms, I’ve been indoors for the past two days. So, having cabin fever, I was  itching to get out in the fresh air so I headed to my favorite park. I was absolutely blown away by the swarms of dragonflies I rode through! They were EVERYWHERE. Here’s what Google says about the dragonfly….

“In almost every part of the world, the dragonfly symbolizes change, transformation, adaptability, and self-realization. The change that is often referred to has its source in mental and emotional maturity and understanding the deeper meaning of life”.

This is exactly where I’m at my loves. Allowing God to continue to mold me. As usual, Divine timing is perfect. I made some intentions for the full moon asking God to continue guiding me and strengthen my steps, release any doubts as I lite the paper to burn away what no longer serves me so that I may continue to walk my path without any impediments. I dropped it into my coldron and watched it disintegrate🔥

Oh my dragonflies!

Friday night as I sat by the lake gazing up the beautifully enchanting fullness of Lady Luna, my heart started to ache for my partner. I know he will join me once the time is right but I miss him dearly. These past three months apart from each other feel like three years because of all the personal growth I’ve done in order to become a healer. I wrote two poems in his honor, one Friday night under the moon and the other indoors while listening to the thunderstorm rage outside. Both environments are equally representative of how I feel internally without him. Some days, I’m at peace and acceptance with what must be and others I’m turned up and twisted with sadness and longing to be held in his arms.

“Love for sure”
“Full moon love”

I have learned in some intensely dramatic ways that as much as I want to be in control, I most definitely am not. We must be apart for me to fully take on this role and concentrate on opening myself up to all it asks of me. The dragonflies were a sign that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. My spirit guides and my angels are supporting me always. I lean on that everyday and am never disappointed. My blessings are too many to count.  Life is so beautiful and I’m embracing every second of it.

My oldest son Ty turns 19 on Wednesday. I told him the other day how blessed I am that God chose me to be his mother and also how blessed I am to have him chose me as his mother. He looked at me kind of funny, like surprised I said that. I laughed and reassured him that since the day he was born, I’ve been his student. Both of my boys have taught me more about myself and life than any other experience I’ve had. That’s who I remain always, a student of life. Staying open to where I am and where I’m heading. Stay blessed😊

Want to contact me for a tarot card reading, shamanic healing or check out my books on Amazon? Click this one link for all of the information in one place😊

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Spirituality

Marrying my soul

Since my last post I have been flooded with messages from higher consciousness or my higher self. The more I notice the synchronicity within the patterns and messaging from Source, the more aware of my inner spirit I become. Two major ideas have begun sprouting and taking root within me. As painful as this spiritual awakening can be at times, making these important connections is really adding glorious colors to my soul’s spectrum. Hold tight dear readers because this post is about to blow your minds, follow along if you dare….

About a week ago I started thinking about the idea of what elevating to the 5D or 5th Dimension is all about. Sure enough, while going through that same day I was sent information about that very topic in multiple ways. That is how the Universe communicates with me, in the physical world. I ask a question and without fail, I am always sent my answers. I watched an informational video by a YouTube and Instagram star I follow by the name of Ralph Smart, his spirit’s name is Infinite Waters. He calls his followers.like me, deep divers because we are seeking answers to that which is below the surface. As you may or may not by know by now my dear readers, that is my favorite place to dwell and where you can most often find me 😉

Anyway, he posted a video about how to know if you have entered the 5D. Let me explain to you my dear readers what the difference is between 3D and 5D and the different levels of awareness within the 5D world.

First off, the 3D world is the physical world we live in and is fear based and focused around material. The fear around losing the materials we acquire is the ruling force. Think, Madonna’s “Material Girl”. Within this idea comes a concentration for obtaining money and power. We don’t trust others because we fear they might take our material, money and power away. Those existing within this dimension define themselves solely by their position within this power plane and what they do for a living. Believing that basically, the more you have the happier and more fulfilled you will be. Their beliefs are centered around separation from God or Source, the existence of a singular life and death is something painful, all finite and to be feared. This life within the 3d is one big competition with only winners and losers. People existing within the 3D believe there are only certain roles for men and women. Men hold positions of power, nurturing that strength to become the fighters. Woman are seen as the weak caretakers only.

In regards to relationships within the 3D, they believe one cannot be whole without another person. They believe one needs someone else in order to be happy and whole. They are so used to ego centered thinking and there is no questioning of it. Only seeing rare moments of beauty in nature or in an orgasm because these moments bring them into the NOW or present. Otherwise, in my humble opinion, living as drones or robots within this Matrix like society. Their minds play games based around would of, should of and could of which can only focus on the past or they are busy creating future scenarios centering around hypotheticals to prepare themselves for the future. All of this thinking is a futile process and waste of precious energy, in my opinion. Humans living in the 3D crave sex because it’s the only time that both masculine and feminine energies can coexist in a perfect balance within each other.

What’s more is that in the 3D, people are seen as separate from God and that duality doesn’t exist. There are only coincidences and no such thing as destiny. We have amnesia really, we have forgotten the spiritual beings we are within the physical form we occupy. We take on the ego mind and with that adoption, we have egocentric thinking. Nobody questions this and those that do are seen as weird or crazy. Ultimately they must be wrong because there is no upsetting this Matrix.

Upon entering the 5D, one feels more and more comfortable about just who they really are, reclaiming their authentic selves as it relates to who they are truly born to be, original spirit is getting reintegrated into our physical body creating a feeling of oneness with everything within the physical world. An absolute understanding that we are all connected, animals, humans, nature….EVERYTHING! Moving past light and darkness and good and bad, our integration into the 5D allows us to see the necessity of it all. Everything is more than it seems suddenly.

I myself began this journey or quest to discover my authentic self with my voice trembling and shaking. When I started questioning everything I have been told to believe, there was a lot of pushback and pain. I felt I was misunderstood, not worthy and not enough. Those of us raising our awareness and consciousness are seen as weird and crazy. We are remembering our soul’s purpose as our heart begins to open. The scarcity mindset is turned on its head in favor of an abundance one. In the 3D we have to be consumers who strive to own more and more. Consumption upon the material is seen as not only better but necessary for happiness.

In contrast, those of us moving into the 5D have started to understand that everything we need to be whole and happy is already within us. I have begun to feel powerful by understanding that only I have the power to create my own reality. I’m no longer accepting what I have always been told because others have believed what they were told before me and on and on. No thank you, no more. I’m beginning to see myself as a multidimensional being having a human experience. Remembering too what the Budda himself has preached for centuries, attachment creates suffering. Letting go is the only way to obtain a real enlightenment state of being.

My energy centers, or chakra system has been open, balanced and allowed to flow seemingly which allows my authentic story to be told. My throat chakra is no longer blocked. Yes, and too my heart chakra is shifting into a more receiving state to allow what Source is providing me on a daily basis. I see that there is nothing but love inside of me and I can accept love more freely from others without judgement or doubt. Just like an artist, I am painting my world more vibrantly and with broader strokes of color.

The next level I am just beginning to experience is that of an energy alchemist. Being able to transform negative energy into positive energy is called transmuting. I practice this through meditation and visualization. The more attuned I can become into my energetic force, the easier this becomes. By no means is this process supposed to sound easy. On the contrary, it is hard and painful at times and requires an open mind, body and soul along with tons of patience within this practice. I’m never going to be perfect as my spirit walks this Earth because I’m inhabiting a fallible human body.

I am telling you dear readers that I can actually feel this shift taking place within me. More on some days and less on others depending on what energies I have allowed into my field and what I have taken on. If I could exist in a complete Transcendental meditative state I would! Once there I am actively experiencing nothingness, no thoughts, no feelings….pure nothing. For me it’s like being in outer space where nothings ends and nothing starts, everything just is. A truly conscious state of being.

I have many of my meditation guru’s and consciousness guide’s words tumbling around in my mind about becoming a human being vs a human doing. In the 3D the only acceptable state is the latter. How much can I do in a day? How much can I achieve, obtain and win…just how much power will that give me? To me dear readers, this isn’t the sort of leveling up I have ever wanted to achieve.

I do however desire to level up within my own consciousness by vibrating at a higher frequency so that my human mind can accept what my spirit’s destiny truly is. I have to let go of what the 3D has drummed into my head which is, “don’t question anything and fear it all”!! I must undue 41 years of brainwashing.

I have started to see myself as the hero in my story, not the victim of pain and suffering that I have felt for years! That being stated, I am beginning to embrace the fact that the trauma, pain and suffering I have experienced thus far has molded me into a human who is willing and able to take on my soul’s purpose. My 3rd eye chakra, the energy center that contains our innermost knowing and has always been my guiding force is now the only voice I want to listen to. I have begun to actively block all the false messaging within the 3D so that my mind can make room for more awareness and spiritual information.

This process is arduous and exhausting because I am unlearning what my 3D self has accepted a long time ago. My thoughts, feelings and behaviors must ALL transform so that I can remain calm, fearless really in the face of extreme emotion and stress. I have to develop a supreme awareness so that my spirit can weather whatever storm I may find myself facing. This is 100% my own responsibility and no one else’s.

The next level I hope to obtain in time as Universe sees fit is that of a wizard who can truly be one with the Universe. No longer seeing a separation but instead having an unconditional love and complete acceptance of self. I must have already inhabited all three beings of drone, artist and alchemist, growing into a master. In this state I won’t sell out, my soul that is what I’m referring to, not ever. No matter what my choices are. I will only count my riches by my inner growth, understanding and knowing that is what truly matters, not what my bank account says. I will be completely 100% about my purpose void of distraction. Most especially, I will refuse to compare myself to anyone else. I will only sow seeds of positivity through my interactions with all others always.

This new understanding as lead me to the idea of wanting to marry my soul. Everyday I read a passage from a book entitled “The Book of Awakening ” by Mark Nepo. Mr. Nepo is a poet and spiritual adviser who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 30 years. He is best known for his New York Times #1 bestseller, “The Book of Awakening”. He is a very respected philosopher who has endured and overcome cancer. I have been allowing him to guide my days by reading and rereading his book for about 5 years now.

Today being November 13th and also our full moon, I read about marrying one’s soul. He writes here that in order to live without silencing or numbing essential parts of who we are, we must make a vow to uphold a special promise to ourselves. Mine sounds something like this and I am paraphrasing Mr. Nepo’s beautiful prose here:

I, Maria Teresa Pratico, make the following promise to myself. I will do my best on a daily basis to stay committed to my inner path, not separating myself from that path when things get tough or confusing. I will always try to accept and embrace my faults and limitations by interweaving my spiritual life with my psychological life. Living my life by allowing my heart and soul to lead my mind where it may wonder. I vow to lead a life of faith and truth by fulfilling these virtues in the place of anxiety and doubt. By keeping this promise to myself I can build a solid foundation and bond with my true spirit within this human vessel I now occupy making myself twice as strong. My goal in keeping this promise is to create a life that is doubly strong in this mad mad world I live in today❤

Here is a poem I wrote the other day keeping in this vein. Everyday, more and more I strive to observe more and speak less.

Mental health, Spirituality

Further understanding and integration of my shadow self, getting comfortable with discomfort

When I first started this spiritual journey into healing my mental health and searching for just who I am there were two concepts that honestly terrified me. Those two things were the idea of healing my inner child and meeting my shadow self. The latter being the most intriguing yet completely unacceptable to me way back then. November of 2011 was an extremely dark period of my life yet it also marks an important time in my life because I was given the gift of desperation. Once I hit my bottom the only way to go was up and through. Understand that clearly dear readers, the only way to healing is walking through the pain. There are no quick fixes, magic pills that numb your feelings forever because those feelings are sensations in your body that send your brain important messages of what your body needs.

Our society wants to ignore feelings, seeing them as a weakness not a strength. Swallow or stuff them in order to be strong when in essence it is completely the opposite that grows one’s mental strength and fuels the soul. This past weekend’s full moon was a very powerful reminder for me to actively release all that no longer serves me. It also brought up some more darker truths, that being the existence of my shadow self. But what is shadow self?

When we are born we don’t know anything about how our body works and what it needs. As our knowledge about the world around us grows our personality is forming. Based upon what is socially acceptable, some aspects of ourselves are repressed and denied because they are seen as negative. It is the subconscious part that our egos don’t want to identify with, everything of which is unconscious. Basically the unknown. In order to truly become enlightened one must explore, accept and integrate this side of ourselves to achieve true balance and a sense of wholeness. Again, there is no way around this, one must walk through. There are many ways that we can learn more about this mysterious side of ourselves but my favorite is journaling. The kind of writing that is free flowing, not thought out, in order to access those feelings we deem as ugly, the ones we don’t want to admit to having. We all have parts of ourselves that we deny because we naturally seek love and acceptance. Our egos tell us loads of lies to protect ourselves from rejection, abandonment and pain. What’s amazing is that this other side of ourselves is actually incredibly powerful and necessary to our evolvement, by becoming more self aware we grow to accept others too. We can identify and show empathy toward others when we see these sides of their personalities emerge. We become less judgemental of first ourselves, then of others. We can forgive more easily and practice humility. When I consciously made the decision to meet my shadow self, my ego was screaming at me to stop, close that door and bolt it forever. Throw away the imaginary key that I had created in childhood. The energy that I have now restored within myself by ceasing to repress this side is so empowering. All that exhaustively wasted energy was my egos attempt to keep my true spirit covered. I thought I was protecting myself and staying safe. The exact opposite is true as I was a prisoner of my own mind. Stuck really, feeling as though I was fighting my own brain. I repeated this pattern for a couple years. Put my own self healing on a shelf, not ready to deal with it.

The same patterns emerged around facing my inner child. That wounded little girl that was conditoned to betray herself and her needs in order to be accepted by others. Over time that progamming made me feel unworthy of love and attention cementing within me that I was unimportant. That is where real suffering begins and lies start to multiply. I had ignored my childhood pain for long enough because these mixed up messages were creating chaos within my relationships. I was constantly being triggered into a trauma response morphing me into this extremely hypervigilant, nervous and fearful individual who had an over abundance of anxiety.

By following me and reading this blog of mine, you should be able to tell by now that I have made a lot of progress in investigating, facing and accepting both my shadow self and healing my inner child. I believe it is a lifelong conscious decision and isn’t something that happens overnight. I am actively reparenting myself by tending to that part of my wounded self. It demands my patience, requires self compassion and asks for me to allow space for showing myself grace. This concept is especially challenging for me because I want to deny myself, blame myself and hurt myself when I feel certain of my needs aren’t being met. Repeating the past and the way my caregivers ignored my needs. Today it’s up to me and only me to fulfill these needs and tell myself new stories, creating a new tape to play in my mind when I am triggered.

Monday morning I awoke feeling so powerful and confident but by that evening I found myself triggered, acting out and all those parts of my shadow self were alive and acting out in my behavior. I created chaos within the partnership with my fiance because I was relying too heavily on him to mke everything better. He was so confused and alarmed by my words and actions. In hindsight he had every right to question the woman in front of him. In the past I would deny any of this was even happening because I wasn’t ready to acknowledge the darkness within me and the pain inside me that had been laying dormant for years. That is the old Maria, now I am choosing to heal by accepting this new path. I spent yesterday giving myself permission to show myself some love. I practiced self care, rested my overworked body and mind by spending some extra time practicing meditation. Inner peace is only achieved when I can slow down my thoughts, observe them without judgement and become mindful of my breath. This is where the power of choice comes in. Making the conscious decision to understand mysef more fully AND accept whatever comes up is like a new superpower.

Making friends with the darkest of my emotions has sparked a tremendous surge in my creativity. Realizing my shadow self is a reflection of my power, honesty and passion. I can laugh at myself with ease and relinquish the perfectionist in me that tells me to hate myself when I make a mistake. I can take myself less seriously. I use my meditation practice to focus on self compassion when I feel like I want to start beating myself up again. Squashing old patterns and forming new pathways takes mental, emotional and spiritual awareness. The mental strength and courage to be my best and most whole self. It’s like meeting myself for the 1st time. It’s the most gratifying and profoundly powerful experience to date on my self healing journey.

Sending love, compassion and understanding to al the other self healers out there, we got this💪🙏✌💖