It’s the last day of March and wow what a month this has been! It feels more like a year my dear readers. If somebody had told me where we’d all be finding ourselves today (quarantined in our homes) in the 1st week of March, I wouldn’t have believed it. I have been doing my best to allow whatever feeling or emotion that pops up to flow through although the past two days I have been feeling really tired. I have given myself permission to do absolutely nothing. Take my energy engines down yo neutral and regroup, nap and do mindless activities like binge tbe latest series on Netflix🎬 The weather has turned back to clouds and rain here in Dallas which always translates into sheer laziness for me😉
In my last post I mentioned the sheer frustration I was feeling in getting my Covid-19 test results. Finally, early Monday morning I found out I tested negative. Phew! The amount of relief I feel that such a weight has been lifted. I don’t think I realized how much I was internalizing, fear wise until I read the report again twice. It was an overwhelming sense of release because Lincoln and I had been at each other understandably with so much unknown. It’s like we both stopped white knuckling life. I believe that’s why I’m so tired now. I’m still unraveling the ability I have to dissociate from uncomfortable feelings. This situation has given me another opportunity to learn that doing that doesn’t serve me very well. I’m in the throws of an emotional hangover🤪 and usually I would be beating myself up for it……now not so much. Being gentle with myself is a much better way of handling it.
“Highest self” describes the place within ourselves where we can operate and make decisions based in our own best interests. It takes practice y’all and is ever unfolding and shifting. Self healing is never over and we never completely master any part of our psyche. Since life is cyclical we are presented with an ever deepening understanding in each area of our lives that requires our attention in new ways throughout our existence here as the humans we embody. I chose to believe I am a spirit,a soul having a human experience. We are multidimensional. Getting in touch with each part of myself is the greatest adventure.
I am a naturally upbeat and positive person. However, I still have my moments of anger, sadness and fear etc. I don’t allow myself to stay stuck in any one feeling or emotion these days because I continue to do the inner work required to live a happier and more peaceful life. I was once very disassociated from my own feelings because as a HSP, they seemed too big and overwhelming. As an intuitive empath, I chose to focus solely on the feelings of others. This did so much harm to my body, mind and spirit while wreaking havoc upon my life. My transformation to the better place I now find myself in started 10 years ago.
Again, it takes lots if practice and time. With our current situation, we all have plenty of that. Ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable looking at certain parts of yourself. Get in there and meet yourself. Give yourself a chance to grow and evolve during this forced reset our world is in. Start the transformation. There’s no time like the present. I believe that is what we are all being called to do right now. It’s the only way to survive this my loves.
Yesterday was my nephew Nick’s 18th birthday and I wrote this for him to officially welcome him into adulthood. I am honored to be his aunt and watch him grow. He has grown into such an awesome human being. HBD 🎉Much love always Nick ❤
One of the things that has kept me going is connecting to my creativity. I have such a passion for dance and I try to set aside some time for a little solo dance party in my apartment no matter what💃
Continuing my solo dance party loves. I was blessed to travel around with The Grateful Dead in the 90s with my best friend Lynn and a bunch of our other friends from high school. Here I am grooving to “Shakedown Street”. What are you up to my dear readers?
I’m also really appreciate many of my friends, family and followers repost my poem, “Love marathon”. This is my wish for our world right now. I share it now again in this post as a way of injecting more love and positivity into our Universe 🌎
In my next post I have taken inspiration from my dear friend and fellow blogger Erika Kind of Share Your Light and I will be sharing the story of the favorite place I have ever lived. That place came quickly to mind because ten years ago I rented a beach cottage on a private beach in Rhode Island. To this day, that home is the only place I ever felt truly at home at besides the house I grew up in. I adored that beach cottage with all it’s windows, natural light and sea drenched air. So many beautiful views from all around that property because it was right across the street from the beach itself that was open to the residents only. I really love Erika’s idea of posting something that brought joy and happiness in life. It’s part of her recent post you can check it out here and join us under the hashtag #Momentsofjoy
Emotional Musings 