Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 2

Today marks six months since my Dad passed over into the world of spirit. Writing a book is a very cathartic experience. The poems in this collection for my 5th book entitled, “My Soul’s Journey ” were originally written between early November 2020 through March 2021, documenting the time shortly before my Dad’s passing up until the first days of Spring. While I write this manuscript, I’m reliving memories and feelings that are all still so fresh while running through the gamut of emotions. Writing is and always will be where my soul emerges from a place of confusion and then rises to clarity, like the tone of a singing bowl, as I process through all of my senses. My intention is to honor both my Dad and myself by publishing the poems that helped me understand my role as a shaman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a friend through the most amazing yet painful times of my life.

I focus often on how it’s important to allow the lessons life has for us to teach us to embrace ALL aspects, from as many perspectives as can be gleamed from for the wisdom each of them holds. As I transcribe each poem, I’m reminded of the environment from which my words were birthed. What sparked the message to come through and how did writing each poem help me to understand myself in the moment. Often I find myself bursting into tears as I allow the medicine in the message to wash over my soul again, but in a deeper and more profound way having put space between the time it was written until now. This book is different because I took a deliberate pause after writing these poems for almost two months before beginning this manuscript. For the previous four books, I wrote the poems and immediately thereafter the manuscript was constructed and published. This book serves to teach me a bigger lesson, one my soul has been striving to learn for many, many years. Patience.

While following the many steps it requires to build a manuscript, I don’t write a lot of original new works. However, a kindred spirited friendship and sisterhood that began right here on WordPress, evolved from a deep resonance of soul recognition and purity of love thus inspiring me to do a collaboration. Ace of http://fearlessfreesoul.com and I immediately connected at the end of last year because our writing styles are so similar. We both use love with the absence of fear as our medicine and magic. She creates the most amazing videos on empowerment and positivity. Her old soul spirit instantly reminded me of my youngest son Miles and our relationship grew from commenting on one another’s posts to a personal correspondence by text and voice clips. I have never collaborated with another writer before and I am truly honored to do so with such a gifted writer with such a big heart! Our duet is a match made in heaven,, divinely timed and powered! These are two of the poems we wrote together this past week and I’m filled with such joy to share them with you all here.

It’s important to allow myself breaks in between all the work it takes to write a book. You my dear readers know how much I love to spend time dancing and listening to music because it fires up my spirit while setting it free. May these three dance videos bring you joy and laughter as it served my heart good to make them.

Salsa anyone?
Love Foolosophy
I love the way my finger cymbals sound with this song, “Dancing by the River” Manish Vyas

Please check out two new features in the menu tab, one is a gallery of some pictures including my healing crystal grids and a video explaining my healing sessions. The other is a collection of testimonials from my clients on how our sessions have impacted their healing journey. Remember my dear ones, every day do whatever you feel brings your song of self out and sing it loudly for all the world to hear!

Sing, sing your song

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 1

My dear readers, I have commenced building the manuscript for my fifth book of poetry entitled “My Soul’s Journey”. I’m dedicating this one to my Dad since all of the 87 poems were written after his death and honor the number of years he spent on the Earth in physical form. The number five symbolizes change and while writing this book I have embarked upon the most amazing change and chapter of my own journey! Healing both myself and others through the art of shamanism allows everything I have intuitively known and felt fall into place. My life now after 43 years, finally makes sense! The number forty-three symbolizes success in all areas of life, the kind achieved through hard work, strong will and patience that comes with a great understanding, knowledge and nobility. Life presents us many opportunities to learn and elevate our soul through each moment to see how ALL of it serves for our highest good and greatest healing.This is my time and I am here to claim every ounce of joy, inner peace and tremendous love for life!

This month I have been focusing on my Sacral chakra, healing old wounds left by emotional upheaval and past trauma. Recently I found myself triggered by an assignment for the course in sound healing I was taking. It helped me to realize that I was attempting once again to prove something, validate my worth and feel good enough. After tapping into my intuition and coming to terms with the intention for seeking the certification in the first place, I had an ah-ha moment realizing that continuing with the course was not going to serve my best interest. This was a life lesson shining light upon an mindset that no longer fits who I am today and what I believe. This is an old tape playing an offbeat tune. Hitting eject, I asked myself why was I taking the course in the first place? What was this course going to add to my life?

Celebration of the colors and functions of the chakra system

There are a few factors that contributed to my final decision. My own attention to focus in and stay engaged with an online course for sound was a major challenge because I found the platform itself to be boring. Mainly however it was what the instructor said to me when I told him his course wasn’t for me that proved to me I had made the right decision. He accused me of not being able to provide a therapeutic environment because of my own emotional instability after the assignment was questioned. Whether it was a communication breakdown or misunderstanding, what became apparently clear to me was that questioning his assumed authority triggered his own ego and displayed a character defect that resulted in a judgement of a student. Has no one dropped his course before or not wanted to continue? That’s not how I operate as a teacher. I conduct myself as a guide for each of my student’s journey while learning the art of shamanism. Holistic healing is an intuitive art, whether in sound, art, energy, or crystals etc. It shouldn’t be based on financial gain. My intention is each individuals highest good and healing for their unique journey. It became completely clear we weren’t on the same page and that’s OK. Not everybody is my flavor nor I their cup of tea. Honestly, I felt right away from watching his videos that I couldn’t learn from him. My first thought was to react to his opinion of me and then my higher self, my soul whom I call Serena, stepped forward and reminded me I don’t need to prove my journey to anyone. I’m no longer interested in approval or acceptance from others. Doubting my own gifts is an old mindset pattern and no certification is necessary for me to do what I intuitively do in shamanic sessions. Sound healing is already a part of what I do naturally. I am determined to find another resource for knowledge of what I want to learn. I wrote a reactionary email and then just as quick as I wrote it, deleted it. Moving on.

What became crystal clear is that for all of my life, I wasn’t the one accepting me. I was doubting my own worth, gifts and power which blocked trust, acceptance and love of myself. I blindly believed the opinions and judgments of others. Awakening has created radical shifts that allow me to question what truly is best for me while healing and recognizing my authentic voice over these past two years. This is an ongoing cycle of integration as I forgive, surrender, release and accept, finally I’m celebrating all the pieces of me! I tell my clients that “we can’t outsource love, we must each fill our own cup of happiness, inner peace and love”. My own words rang like a bell in my head!

Locked in and loving myself

Living as an open psychic channel for Spirit has created gaps in my life where I felt completely lost for many years. Self medicating through addiction to substances and maladaptive coping behaviors further distanced my soul from my being. It felt like I was on a permanent vacation from life, muted and numb. Existing behind a wall of my own creation. I was an award winning actress at what I thought “normal” looked like and that was the mask I wore for thirty-five years. These t-shirts suit me to a T. This poem sums it all up beautifully.

Dressed by soul

Nowadays I lean into what allows me to feel free and happy. I express this best through movement, dance, yoga, painting and of course my writing. Here are my latest video shorts to the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I dare you not to smile!

Jazz Happy
Tap Happy

The final thought on this is that this emotional experience has taught me that no one but me needs to accept me! There’s no more hiding, trying to be someone else or denying the rainbow unicorn I am. My purpose is to shine love and light through my soul. Today I feel happy knowing this in my heart. I hope I made you smile!

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Spirituality

Home is where the heart is

What does being home mean to you? Gaius Plinius Secundus, a Roman philosopher better known as Pliny the Elder (or just Pliny to his friends) said “Home is where the heart is.” Almost two thousand years later, who would have thought home is where the heart – and other organs – could also be monitored and managed. This phrase means that no matter who you are with or where you are in the world, your family and home holds the deepest affection and emotional pull. It is the place where you have a foundation of love, warmth, and happy memories. It might not always be the building itself, but being near your loved ones.

After my trip to Rhode Island, I have been processing a lot of what my life has been like since leaving a place I called home for thirteen years. I had many reasons to leave and I thought for so long that I couldn’t go back. After ten years of moving around constantly, healing in psychiatric hospitals (both inpatient and outpatient) and a stint in rehab which lead to spiritual experiences that sparked another Kundaluni awakening (the 1st one was in 2011) I know home is in my heart. My heart is front and center, open wide and I finally feel secure in expressing myself from this place no matter where I live. The phrase, “no matter where you go, there you are” suits me. You can’t ever escape your own truths, trust me my dear readers because I tried desperately to erase who I am.

Nowadays I embrace my both my strengths and weaknesses, weirdness and philosophical depths, extra sensory gifts and soul truth. We are upon the eve of a New Moon that begins at 7PM EST tomorrow May 11, 2021. The number eleven is significant because it’s double 1 which stands for new beginnings. The Divine number of this date is two which symbolizes balance and partnerships. The planetary alignment has Jupiter in the zodiac house of Pisces. The last time this occurred was in 2010-2011. The personal significance for me is that was the period of time when my first Kundalini awakening occured. This type of awakening is defined as a surge of Divine feminine energy that spirals through the chakra system causing such symptoms as waking up at random hours of the night, sweating, crying, or even literally feeling an intense rush of energy going up your spine. You feel a sudden need to make radical changes in your life.

For me, this lead to a series of severe mental breakdowns ending in a suicide attempt. All completely necessary and now ten years later I look at as a gift of desperation that propelled me along the journey to reclaim my soul. This time around I feel whole, finally having claimed my calling as a shaman. The sessions I have held lately bring me to my knees in awe of the immense power to heal both myself and others bestowed upon me by Spirit.

The poems I write are guided messages for either myself or clients, channeled from a wide array of Spirits. The movement I cultivate as my soul’s medicine aids my own healing and my intention for sharing it is to bring hope that can serve others and inspire change. Ten years ago I was drowning myself in alcohol, dissociative episodes, over exercise and work. Dancing to the piano version of “Chandelier” by Sia, is my crawl out of that darkness into the light. A reminder to always hold onto hope.

Never let go of hope my dear readers, do whatever you need to to keep this energy alive in your being

You know by now by reading my blog posts how much I love spending time out in nature. The beach is my happy place and where I go to gain serenity, clarity and inner peace. Tapping into the biological connection we share with the mighty ocean is how I reconnect to my own strength and power. How do you reconnect with yourself my dear readers?

South Inlet Park, Boca Raton FL

May this New Moon allow you to pick up from where you began back in 2010-2011, planting seeds for your security at home and healing your heart. We are coming out of hibernation mode, stretching our limbs and climbing into new skin with a fresh start. Springtime is in full bloom and is readily available in the heart by choosing to love yourself.. Forgiveness of the past and reclaiming what you know to be true in your heart. This is the continuous cycle of healing from the human condition. I originally wrote the poem “Transformation” on July 18, 2020. At that point I was just starting the apprenticeship hours of healing others through the art of shamanism. Exoanding now upon those intentions, with this New Moon I’m dreaming big, shooting for the stars and opening myself wide to the miracles the Universe provides us everyday upon waking us up with the Sun and tucking us into sleep by the Moon.

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Inner child, personal development, relationships

I love smiling, smiling’s my favorite

This line from the movie “Elf” suits me perfectly. Lately, I can feel myself smiling more often just because it feels good to activate the tiny molecules in the brain that are designed to fend off stress. These molecules, called neuropeptides, facilitate communication between neurons in the brain. Also, when I’m smiling, my brain is releasing dopamine, endorphins and serotonin aka the happy hormones. Spending time out in nature whether walking, running or riding my bike, dancing, listening to music, laughing with friends and family, writing poetry and practicing the art of shamanism is how I heal. Expressing myself in these ways makes me smile!

I was guided recently to rewatch one of my favorite movies, “The Wiz”. This movie is a reflection of how life has felt for me growing up, afraid to be who I am. Learning to express myself by believing that I am worthy and good enough are core wounds from childhood traumas both big T and little t. Three songs on the movie’s soundtrack really spoke to my soul and I would like to share two of them through their lyrics and one video that I urge you my dear readers to watch because I want you to tap into the emotion of Dorothy played by the legendary Diana Ross.

Can I Go On?
Sang by Diana Ross

Lose it?
Lose it?
I don’t even know the first thing
About what they’re feeling
What am I afraid of?
Don’t know what I’m made of
Can I go on
Not knowing?

Feeling?
Feeling?
Something tells me
That it’s more than I can deal with
Though I never knew the song
Some words still catch on
Like caring and sharing
Being together no matter

Can I go on
Not knowing?
Don’t know what I’m made of
Why am I afraid of feeling?
Feeling?
If I dare to take a chance
Would someone lead me?

Believe in Yourself
Sang by Lena Horne

If you believe within your heart you’ll know
That no one can change
The path that you must go
Believe what you feel
And know you’re rights because
The time will come around
When you’ll say it’s yours

Believe that you can go home
Believe you can float on air
Yes, click your heels three times
If you believe
Oh, then you’ll be there
That’s why I want you to
Believe in yourself, yes

Right from the start
You got to believe, believe in the magic
Right there in your heart
Go ahead believe all these things
Not because I told you to, no

Believe in yourself, oohh yes
Believe in yourself
Believe in yourself, as I believe in you

Yes indeed, home is within ourselves, in our own hearts.Currently my dear readers, the cosmic planetary alignment is ripe for healing childhood wounds while Venus is conjunct to the Sun. We are being asked to acknowledge and release these past wounds, to close these old chapters once and for all. The objective is to feel comfortable in our own skin. This is soul integration my dears, shadow work that calls the truth in recognizing all aspects of ourselves that furthering the creation of our whole soul self. These are the poems that I have wrote while reflecting on my own truths, using self love as a healing salve through artistic expression.

I take virtual dance classes from time to time with my fellow sister in dance and soul Sophia Sabino creating founder of SopHIIT, a fusion of dance and fitness. I urge you to follow her on Instagram and take her classes. Last Sunday we did a routine to “Fix You” sang by Sam Smith. She suggested we think about the song in the vein of self healing, my favorite topic. So often we feel we need to change or fix the ones we love when really it is us who needs our own attention. This is what our soul is projecting outwards and serves a great lesson. I ask you my dear readers, when you feel triggered to do this, turn the question inwards and ask yourself, “what am I seeing in this person that needs healing within me”? I believe if we follow these breadcrumbs we are led to our own soul and can further the healing process of accepting ourselves fully, loving ourselves without judgement and feeling inner peace and contentment. Let me know how the healing process is progressing for you in the comments below.

“Fix You” sang by Sam Smith

We are in a New Moon phase in Aries my dear readers. This is forcing change, much needed changes upon us. I’ve noticed many of my fellow bloggers are stepping back from writing to take time for themselves, reassessing where their energy is best served. I too will be doing this as I travel in these last two weeks of April. First, a chance for a reconnection with my former partner to North Carolina and then to visit my boys and dear friends in R. I. As I prepare for these adventures my heart chakra is expanding, my solar plexus is healing within these most important relationships with people I love dearly. I am incredibly grateful for these opportunities. This is the crystal healing grid I constructed last weekend to orchestrate healing both myself and my relationships. The song is “Ave Maria” sang by the incomparable Josh Groban.

New Moon intention setting with crystal grid for healing

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Spirituality

Many paths lead to healing: This is what mine looks and feels like

There are many paths one can take to improved wellness and inner growth. I have based this entire blog on my own experiences of feeling and healing. My dear soul sister and fellow blogger https://erikakind.me/ created and shared this picture of my mantra “Feeling is Healing”, which deeply touches my heart because I believe our own feelings are the medicine we need to grow and expand into the powerfully magical beings we all are! In this post I hope by seeing what my process is you feel whatever comes through as your own opportunity and invitation to healing.

Today I woke up to Sheryl Crow’s song lyrics to “Everyday is a Winding Road” running through my mind like one of those advertisement banners with the flashing lights.

“Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine”

We are the medicine

Spring is rapidly approaching and with it an energy of rebirth. In order to be reborn, parts of us need to fall away and die, change marches on, as goes the healing process. I feel a big shift is about to unfold within my life that could potentially effect a relationship most precious and dear to me. Heavy energy stemming from this loss arose this week and I faced it with patience and grace. I turned on a song that always helps me to feel these deeper emotions. Afterwards, I allowed the tears to flow, the anger to emerge and finally I felt more space and freedom. My dear readers, I implore you to allow your humanness to feel whatever YOU need to heal without judgment. Sending love throughout your vessel.

“This Women’s Work” by Kate Bush
Allowing what I feel to flow through, without judgements. Only love ❤

As my world opens up wider, further feeling the heartbeat of the Universe and my place within it, so many feelings come pouring freely out of me. From the depths of my soul through the ink in my pen, I could fill an entire notebook with the messages my guides send!

I see you my sisters and brothers, I feel you and I love you ❤

Two weeks ago I was honored to be interviewed by a fellow female artist whom I met through Instagram for her podcast, “Middle Finger Happiness”. Sharon Lee Zapata and I share a lot of the same attitudes on creativity and making the most out of what life gives us. Most especially without judgements from others aka putting up our middle fingers and carrying on no matter what! Here’s the link to our episode that was co-hosted with another creative soul, Leo Phoenix. The three of us enjoyed a fun, high vibe and very spirited chat. Shout out to my fellow artists whose journey’s continue to express their gifts through all the creative outlets of art, music and dance! May we keep rising after we stumble and using our talents to share love with others.

Truth in seeing by creating more space for the juices of inspiration to flow

Every night the app I use to create my poems, Mirakee, offers a word prompt challenge. If my soul connects to it, I tap in and write. This week I channeled a lot of what I was feeling through these nightly writing opportunities.

The prompt was “Sun” and everyone loves the Summer Sun ☀️
The prompt was to describe what success and failure mean to me, here are my musings
The prompt was to start a journal entry using the word If

I believe this message was channeled through from my Dad. Since he has passed over, I have felt him anchoring me from the Spirit realm. He is always lifting me up to face whatever challenge I’m facing. I’m incredibly humbled and honored that Mirakee named it the “post of the day” today. I write often my dear ones how my soul’s purpose as a writer and healer is to be a conduit for Spirit, to help inspire others to live their truth. May these words touch your heart and awaken your soul to be who you came here to be! I see you, I feel you and I love you all. Thank you for bearing witness to my art and expressions which is my path to healing by following and connecting with me in the comments. If this resonates with you I invite you to leave me a comment or contact me through email.

Grateful ❤

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.