Spirituality

The Light of Love shines, I am a Shaman

My dear readers, I have just had the most phenomenally magical, blissful and completely transformational week of my entire life in Idaho! I’ve processed most of it yet I believe I will be integrating the wisdom my ancestors passed down to me during the ceremonial ritual I took part in that officially initiated me into this world as a shaman for some time to come. It’s a huge privilege, honor and blessing to see the world through the lense of the art of shamanism while I help heal others in the way I have been healed.

This journey started fifteen months ago and because of the immediate deep connection I felt for my teacher and soul sister Lindsey Luna, I took every nugget of wisdom, spiritual advice and guidance she so lovingly provided me over those months and started to heal my whole being in the most profound of ways. Completely transforming my mind, body and spirit. I know now why God has bestowed the gifts He has upon me, my strong sensibilities and psychic abilities to channel Spirit for the greater good of other’s healing journeys and my own. These are my superpowers that we are all capable of honing. The way my life has unfolded, the trauma I have endured all played a major role in why I focused on the clairvoyant senses I have more so than anything else.

I’m honored and humbled to be Lindsey’s 1st apprentice to graduate her Soul Healing academy. Someday I hope to teacher others as she has so graciously taught me. This was an extremely special ritual ceremony for both of us. After I performed my ritual, which incorporated many of my poems which I offered as pieces of my soul to the fire because they served as a testament to my journey, we sat in a sweat lodge completely constructed out of willow tree branches. This was her 1st time to lead a sweat lodge ceremony solo. We used lava rocks and moon rocks to heat the hut while Lindsey called upon the Great Spirit to ointment me, first wrapping me in a chrysalis while she chanted a sacred song, while playing a singing bowl alternating in the rattle sounds. Soon we both fell into the trance we shamans fall under to perform our healings, I could hear myself starting to make deep guttural sounds, releasing what I needed to thus breaking me out of the cocoon and stepping over the threshold to begin the final transition from apprentice to shaman.

Before the ceremony began
Ladysag77 & soul.healing.with.luna
Sacred ritual tools
Final ritual setup

After we closed the ceremony, I still can’t articulate into words how amazingly magical I feel complete with soul shivers, goose bumps and waves of deep emotion continually overtaking my body while my spirit feels completely free to rejoice! My first words to Lindsey were, “I feel like I’m 5 years old again!” That was the age I suffered the sexual abuse I endured and began to detach from myself emotionally at first, then physically and spiritually over the last thirty-seven years. I finally feel like ME again, welcoming back all my my heightened senses in the most beautiful of ways to utilize them, as a shaman!

Fresh from the sweat lodge-After

When I began the apprenticeship, I started manifesting my trip to Idaho to perform the final ritual ceremony in front of Lindsey. My heart was set on it and my soul yearned to finally hug my soul sister. Up until last week, all of our interactions had been conducted virtually through Instagram, which is how we initially met. I have known for sometime now and can confidently confirm that she is my twin flame 🔥🔥 no doubt about it! Growing up and living in this world with our abilities is especially challenging so being able to interact with another woman who is just like me is gift from God and the Universe. Not having to explain myself, naturally reading each other’s thoughts and finishing each other’s sentences is so cool. My love for Lindsey is extremely special and she is a very important person in my life. I vowed to her that I will be returning to Idaho as soon as possible.

The next day we each performed a healing session on each other that was absolutely THE most intense ones of my life, both giving and receiving. Wednesday afternoon in her office was when I really felt the light of God and Spirit combine wrapping me in he warmest of embraces. Everything we do is extremely intimate and private so I won’t go into detail here of what we each learned about ourselves. Let’s just say that Spirit is guiding me along in an accelerated rate that feels disorienting yet so incredibly beautiful. I’m really speechless my dear readers by the amount of love and blessings that each day in Idaho and with Lindsey provided me. I’m intensely grateful and while I’m writing this, tears of joy are flowing in a lovely way. Here are 2 poems I wrote during my visit.

“True beauty”
“Wilderness in me”

I’ve been floating on cloud 9 while in a state of bliss just trying to take it all in. Yesterday, Ty and I found the perfect frame for my certification. If you’re interested and feeling the call please reach out to me to book a session. I can answer any questions you may have my dears. These healing sessions can be performed both in person and long distance over the phone.

I’m a shaman

Interested in my 3 books of poetry or my contact information for shamanic healing sessions and tarot card readings, please click this one link for it all❤

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

New Mantra

Tomorrow I will be traveling to Idaho to perform a final ritual ceremony for my dear sister friend and teacher Lindsey Luna. This will mark the ending of my apprenticeship and the beginning of my role as a shamanic healer. This journey has been my focus over the last fifteen months but more specifically the past five. I’ve learned so much from Lindsey, about myself and healing. I’m bursting with excitement as I feel major shifts happening inside me.

It started last weekend with an overall sense of calm, a more feminine yin vibe that I wrote about in my last post. Everything feels slowed down, natural, not forced or requiring me to exert much energy. I’m an extremely energetic person yet this past week feels like I’m moving through a pool of jello. It’s hard to really describe but this poem is my attempt at articulating my internal story💙

Aquamarine dream

I haven’t been publishing a lot of my writing on any of my online platforms because I’ve been focused on writing for my ceremony and also spending more time with my personal journaling. It’s extremely important for me to process and express myself right now. I’ve spent this week with myself, in solitude and silence with nature as my backdrop. The lake I live on provides so much stimulation for my spirit to thrive in. A new mantra came to me the other day in meditation and I want to share it here.

“I receive light, I give love”❤

This is what I recite to myself during my own personal healing sessions and the ones I hold for clients. It’s simple yet powerful as I envision myself as the conduit for both declarations. I think it’ll serve as a muse for my next painting😉

When we can slow down and go inside ourselves, our truth is revealed. We connect with our own spirit and soul essense ever guided through God. The feeling both during and afterwards is so relaxing and freeing. Even if you do this for 5 minutes everyday my dear readers, I urge you to go there. Give yourself to yourself and to your higher power, whomever that is for you. I don’t subscribe to any one religion. I prefer to acknowledge all the ascended masters who walked this Earth from every established religion and interpretation of God. I read all literary offerings from the Bible to the Koran. I’m blessed to have been gifted my dear Nana’s leather-bound Bible after she passed, complete with her writings and observations on each chapter and the verses she liked. It still smells like her too which I love❤

I’ve been rewatching “The Power of Myth” which is a series of interviews Bill Moyers had with Joseph Campbell. I was first turned onto his teachings while I was a sophomore in high school and my Humanities teacher assigned us his book to read. I have always felt drawn to mythology and its teachings. As Mr. Campbell says, “the absolute mystery of life, what he called transcendent reality, cannot be captured directly in words or images. Symbols and mythic metaphors on the other hand point outside themselves and into that reality”. Myths point us in the direction towards our own truths. I love to explore different cultures and myths weaving my own beliefs to the surface.

I took this picture in my favorite park the other day and attached one of Campbell’s great quotes to it 💚🌱

We all have a sacred space inside

These are two other poems I’ve written this week that reflect where I’m at in my journey. I feel these are very representative of my inner world and my soul. I won’t be posting next week so I can be fully present on my trip. I will definitely fill you in my dear readers once I return and have processed everything 😊

A peek inside
What it’s like for an empath

In the meantime, click on this link for everything “Emotional Musings” my books and contact information to book a healing session with me

❤🙌

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Oneness of love

I’m back from my hiatus dear readers feeling rested and refreshed! It was important for me to listen to the messages I was receiving internally that were guiding me to take this much needed break from my usual routines of writing and posting online. I established a new writing ritual in a workbook I purchased called, “The Goddess Journaling Workbook” by Beatrix Minerva Linden. Each day there are two questions to focus on highlighting a different goddess divided into 6 cycles for the entire year. I have found this exercise to be highly stimulating for my imagination. I also keep a daily journal and have done so for many many years. This workbook is a welcome addition to my writing practice.

Reflections of goddess energy

I’ve also recommitted to my self care routine this past month. I like to visualize myself as water, filling each moment with my entire being. Maintaining an “all in” mentality, holding nothing back and giving all of my open heart to wherever my focus is. Leaning into the connectedness of God and the beautiful creations found in our world. Choosing to reject the illusion of separateness is something I meditate on daily asking for the strength I need to thrive in our current human condition. This practice is vital to my self healing routine and my role as a shamanic healer to stay in touch with my most vital relationship to self and the environment. I took some day trips to the beach and to my favorite parks to perform Earth blessings. Each one helped me gain more appreciation of God’s unconditional love for us and how available that feeling is inside of each and everyone of us at all times! It’s truly awe inspiring and can be called upon, accessed by setting the intention for it. Vowing to live a more heart centered life, where I intend to live my daily life in true alignment with my personal values, purpose, inner mortality, personal experiences and intuition. The fullness I feel, the inspiration that has grown within me giving my creativity a boost was exactly what I needed. Here are the poems I wrote during my time away from the laptop, writing exclusively with pen and paper for the past few weeks was so freeing!

I am love mantra
Lessons learned observing nature 🦆
My day at the beach, a poem 🏖
Listening to life’s harmony
Heart 1st and open 💗
Seeking reconnection 💙
Back to basics, heart centered ❤
Seeking refuge inside
Strong spirited

Reading these here, I can see the progression of my internal story within these poems. Since March, the energy driving me was very yang in nature and powerful. This month I’ve noticed I’ve shifted into a more yin energy which feels much more serene and calm. The ending of an 10 year chapter of self healing, reconnection to soul and a personal renaissance serving as a time of transformative change. This is a change that included my attitude, behavior, habits, health and spirit. A tune up for my heart and soul to realign myself in a way that feels much more authentic inside and out. For me this meant major changes in the ways I eat, dress, analyze, prioritize and engage with the world around me. It also showed me the relationships I wanted to deepen and the ones I was ready to let go of. My partner has undergone his own awakening in light of mine which commenced fifteen months ago. In this past month, I feel much more connected to him because of his own inner growth and healing.

There is no growth without pain my dears and these past months have highlighted areas of my life that required brutal honesty that at times was excruciatingly painful to look at. Some days, it took everything in me to keep going, exercising my resilient nature by not allowing anything to ever hold me back from expressing my true self.. I made this promise while in the psychiatric hospital in 2011 after my suicide attempt. I’m grateful beyond words for the challenges I have faced, learned from and conquered. This is a quote that comes to mind when I think about my journey thus far,

“It’s sometimes the prettiest of smiles that hold the deepest secrets, the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest of hearts that have felt the most pain”.

I can relate so much to these words and they resonate deeply within my soul.

I also updated my business cards and created a hat I can wear to promote myself. I’ve never met a hat I didn’t love and this one is no different. I strive each day to live my motto of, “Triumphing over Trauma” proving that when you set your heart to change, anything is possible. Greatness of spirit is achievable and powered by love.

Emotional Musings 🥰

Please click on this link for everything Emotional Musings included my contact information for healing sessions, my books and social media

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

   

Spirituality

Writing from my soul

My dear readers this piece may seem rambling yet it’s a peek inside my stream of consciousness journal. When I read it back to myself I often chuckle because I think in such rhyme and metaphor. I amuse myself on days like today when my heart strings are being especially tugged. Today is my eldest son’s 19th birthday. It also marks exactly 3 months since I kissed my partner goodbye, for now, we plan on being reunited here soon once he can get his personal affairs in order. Our current world’s dilemma gave our lives a really good shakeup, as it did everybody else🌍

Don’t get me wrong, this is by no means a negative thing. Change and transformation are necessary in life. I chose to embrace whatever is thrown at me with a “it is what it is” mentality and roll with it. That’s the challenge, life is 10% of what happens and 90% how you react or respond to it. My dear readers, since my mission here with my blog is to be 100% transparent, you can clearly read about my challenges. I absolutely refuse to let anything take me down, out or under…..EVER! It’s the warrior in me to survive, learn and keep pushing forward embracing each moment for what it is💪

Just one year ago I made myself some self care promises to include certain practices that I wanted to instill into my life daily. Reading, journaling, meditating and exercising are the four agreements I keep with myself (I’m a huge fan of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The 4 Agreements”). This routine, along with a few others are non negotiables for me. They are how I survive in this world as a woman who is extremely self aware, an intuitive empath with keen psychic abilities who has a gigantic heart. I must protect myself and love myself first and foremost. Here’s a peek at what I scribbled today✒

“This writer’s soul is a place I often go to hide from the thunderous energies and plunders of all the others. Negativity is such a bummer as it pulls me down in spirals that threaten to darken my upbeat and light morale. Whenever I feel a quivering sickness inside my belly, investigate I will to search out its origin of dwelling. Perpetually it’s another’s hell I’ve uncovered seeing through to their sickness and confusion. It closes in on my light without much warning. Always vigilant and prepared, I mentally construct my light shield and soon I’m covered. A bright white wall of light six feet around and six feet high, I slip inside and now safely occupy. I can take a deep breath now. My mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and cosmic energy is fully intact inside this wall while I never wander away mindlessly far from home without it. I’ve spent years constructing this wall of light, brick by brick so nothing can penetrate it, it’s so thick. Mostly it’s in place to block out other’s fears that threaten to distract my train of heart and love”.

My fellow empaths understand exactly what I’ve just described here because they too use this mental exercise in their bag of coping tricks. I thought I should share it in case anybody else is having a tough time out there dealing with some people who just seem to walk around in a cloud of darkness. There’s nothing wrong with them, it’s just that we empaths can get really thrown off by this vibration and most often it’s best not to absorb it if we can catch it. Then we can continue to shine and spread out our love’s light. I envision empaths as the human version of the Care Bears🌈

God’s smiling at us🌈

Here’s the poem I wrote in honor of Ty’s birthday. I’m regularly blown away by this young man. Lately, people have mistaken him for my brother which I must admit is hilarious 🤣 He takes after his father height wise at almost 6 feet while I’ve remained 5’2 since 7th grade!

“You electrify my ❤”

Today at the park, I recorded myself reciting it😊

For my Ty💗

Lastly, this is a poem I wrote describing what this past year has truly felt like, reclaiming my soul and going through this spiritual awakening. I’m more me now than ever. Blessings and love to you all my dears 🙏

Want to contact me for a tarot card reading or a shamanic healing session? Check out my books of poetry available on Amazon. Click this one link for all my information in one place😊

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Creating a new dream

I’m extremely focused on love for it is the answer my dear readers to all the ails us. Love is the answer is love. Love heals. Love wins. Love is all you need. Let the love you hide away, from yourself and others out!! Don’t be afraid, don’t let fear win. We all have the power for it lies deep within. Who’s with me?

Wake up to love

These are the lessons we all are learning, some of us quicker and some of us slower. We need each other, love yourself and then love each other. This is the work I’m devoted to sharing, through my self healing journey. It’s bold and it’s crucially important in turning the tide of where we are in this world. The answers must come from deep inside. Go within and discover what’s there, begin to care and then if you dare…..show the rest of this beautiful world what you’re made of!!! Who’s with me?

Lessons learned

Want to contact me for a tarot card reading, shamanic healing or check out my books on Amazon? Click this one link for all of the information in one place😊

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Tiny scattered pieces blowing in the wind

I’ve been spending my days on the patio a lot more lately because that’s where I hold my healing sessions, close to nature and overlooking the glorious lake I live on. The energy out there is so fabulously grounding mostly due to the wind. Plus the side of our house is a virtual rainforest of plants, trees and flowers. Lots of oxygen being emitted out there and blown around. It’s just awesome. I spend time out there writing, holding healing sessions or listening to music. Plus being outdoors naturally does a body good and creates grounding which ignites the body’s self healing mechanisms.

The lake at Winston Park

I just finished watching the documentary, The Earthing Movie: The Remarkable Science of Grounding all about how walking around barefoot on the Earth grounds our energy and connects us back into the Universe. Doing this stimulates the body to heal itself naturally because we are all energy and electricity. The work that I’m now honored to be a part of is enhancing my understanding of how the exchange of energy works, what creates blocks (unprocessed emotions),chords (specifically the toxic energy kind that need to be cut) and how this all effects our mind body and spirit connection. It’s absolutely awe inspiring and fascinating. A few months ago I started reading about Quantum psychics too and its relation to reality but I won’t write about it here because I’m still processing it. The long and short of it is that everything we do and interact with from watching television, texting, painting, singing, dancing, playing sports, talking etc. is an energy exchange, has a charge to it and a vibration. I can feel the feelings off the energy that is exchanged with me and intuitively know what’s going on within that person even if it’s from the other side of the world. That’s how mysteriously and so scientifically powerful this entire planet is.

God’s masterpiece is this creation specifically made to work harmoniously together, interconnected and feeding off each living thing on our planet. I liken our brains to a computer program that is created and fed by what we interact with and feed it, all of our experiences in life lay down a blueprint which in turn creates our perceived reality. There is no such thing as space and time for that is manmade to give us a semblance of order. Whether we are awake or asleep, we are dreaming. What is reality for me and what is reality for you my dear readers, well they are different and both are an illusion. The only things that are real are our feelings because they are generated from our hearts. Our heart is the organ that communicates with the brain in four distinct ways: neurologically (nervous system), biochemically (hormones), biophysically (pulse waves) and energetically (electromagnetically). In the 60s and 70s there was research done by John and Beatrice Lacey that observed how our heart communicates with the brain in ways that significantly affect how we perceive and react to the world. I’ve been interested in heart math for a few years now, but that’s for another post by a different writer my loves.

I share all of this to tell you this. After holding a week of my shamanic energy healing sessions I have learned so much more about myself and how I respond and react, my own reality and perceptions with others and the world. I believe that I and others like me were sent to Earth to love. We embrace all living creatures with the desire to love wholeheartedly and completely no matter what. It’s my natural default function to see everything as a connection to myself and the rest of the planet so of course I want to understand how to always do less harm and create more love. My heart is big, a vortex that when you get sucked in it’s near impossible to get out of. I stopped interacting with three people who have come into its grasp and one was the other person’s decision to stop talking to me because it was too emotionally painful for him .Unfortunately, that is my ex-husband because he is emotionally immature, has a low EQ and will never move past his anger and resentments. The other was a girlfriend who became a drain upon me and was extremely toxic to my life. The third was the ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me on multiple occasions because he was working out repressed memories of the relationship with his mother on me like I was her. He was very mentally and emotionally disturbed so for obvious reasons I cut ties. I share this to say I love hard and I love deep. My fiancé knows that he shares me with the rest of the world because it’s part of who I am at my core, at a soul level. It’s part of being an empath, having extra sensory perceptions that manifest psychically and what I use now as a healer to heal others on a body, mind and spiritual level. My heart, my love is how I help others clear out their emotional baggage so that their bodies can flow more easily on an energetic level thus making them happier and more free to connect to their own souls as I have.

The people around us, what we eat, what we feed our bodies…all of it either allows one’s spirit to glow and grow stronger so that we can live out our soul’s purpose or hinders and disables our evolvement. It’s in our soul contracts. We are put through interactions with others to learn from them. Pain is a great motivator and a hard earned teacher. The path of the shaman teaches this and now that I’m in the field seeing people in this capacity it’s amazing how connected it all really is! Tiny scattered pieces blowing all around by the wind, carried off by the seas touching every single one of us.

“Scattered pieces”

Yesterday was a big day for my son and I because he was accepted into a technical program for heating and air conditioning. The fact that Ty can continue his education is something I have been manifesting for over a year now. I told him he has won the lottery ticket to life if he completes this certification because the world will always need to keep their environments warm and cool. He is a hands on learner and this is the perfect program for his technically inclined mind. I know he will shine. I’m so proud of him. This development really puts my mind at ease for his future because since the pandemic he has been unemployed and wondering how to start over. I expressed to him that he has time on his side and a youthful mind. Plus watching his Mom reinvent herself, move around the country and discover her own calling serves as inspiration to never give up.

“Tiny”

I see us humans so differently now and what we do to each other and Mother Earth. Just look around at our world events. The Universe supports us 100%. We have air to breath, ground to walk upon, water to drink and food to eat. These are constants that are taken for granted too often without questioning or taking time to think about it our impact upon each other and our planet. For the beauty in nature’s continued sake and the wellbeing of one another let’s do better. Love more, judge less. Give more, take less. Raising the collective vibration helps everyone. We are tiny drops of water in the ocean of life my dears. We are here for a short time. We owe it to ourselves and each other to do better.

Namaste 🙏

Here to heal

Please see my contact links to get in touch with me for tarot card readings, healing sessions and my books of poetry at

Linktr.ee/Ladysag77.com

Spirituality

Remembrance, a story of homecoming

This has been a very monumental week for me my dear readers. I completed the coursework for my role as a shamanic healer and energy practitioner to an abundance of blessings from the great Divine itself. I have completed two of my healing sessions, one for my teacher Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna and one for my son Ty. Each one felt so familiar yet different because Lindsey’s was conducted virtually over Instagram video chat and Ty’s was in person. I now can say with certainty that I was a shaman in a past life and that I worked with Lindsey in one of them. We have reunited in this life for great things, a purpose that is ever unfolding and so intimately beautiful. I get emotional just thinking about how much she means to me on so many levels, a sister, a mentor, a teacher and a dear kindred spirit friend.

This week for me is what defines a full circle moment. Just one year ago I felt so profoundly lost in my own emotional trauma while reliving the past I thought I had buried when I discovered Lindsey on Instagram and reached out to her for healing. Little did I know how deeply impactful that action would reflect upon my life today! We have completed many sessions together for my own healing and now she has taught me about the art of shamanism in a one on one course each week for the past 2 months that she herself admitted to taking years to grasp and understand because she developed herself, solo. Believe me my dear readers, these past few months have been a whirlwind of change, all necessary and quite painful at times. Since I committed to learn from her, I made a promise to myself to never give up knowing that I deserved to do this for myself. I took the first real and definitive step to create something that I can’t truly define by words only feelings. This process has meant so much to me and to my spirituality my dear readers, a homecoming. A return to oneness and to myself.

It all makes sense now, why I know the things that I know, see and feel so differently from other people. Especially why I cut myself off from these messages and gifts for most of my life. It was out of an overwhelming fear. God sent me on a journey in which I have learned from and now see beauty in. All of the pain, struggle and heartache was for this reason. The path of the wounded healer. Shamans are anointed and initiated in this way, forged in the fire. Embracing the I AM mantra and believing that I can overcome what is holding me back took years of diligence, practice and loss as well as hope, faith and of course a strong reliance upon God. Nothing is possible without my ultimate belief in Him, the creator of all. Our Universe and everything within is intricately dependent and created by God.

Recently I took part in a a fun word prompt challenge on the app that I use to create my poems, Mirakee. Happy 4 years in creation to them by the way! The challenge asked to write a poem on how we would like to be remembered after we have passed. Death is inevitable my dears even though I can admit to once feeling scared of it because it brought such devastating sadness along with it for the ones left in its wake. I now understand that we are all part of God’s master plan, the circle of life. I believe one’s spirit never dies and is reincarnated through human existence itself following the purpose that God chose in it’s creation. Remembering mine has brought me so much happiness, joy, inner peace and harmony. Here is the poem I created for the challenge.

“Remember me”

I use different tarot decks for daily guidance and this is the card I pulled today which I greeted with a knowing smile.

Archangel Michael has been working with me for sometime now

Writing has been a tool I have leaned on for personal development and understanding my entire life. In this past year, the poems I write are channeled messages from the archangels, most specifically Michael, Raphael and Gabriel. The holy trinity of messengers as all three are my spiritual guides that I feel in my life daily. They in tandem with my spirit animals tug at my soul strings and show me in the most intimate of ways messages from Divine. While I was in session with Lindsey, I felt as though Maria stepped aside and Serena (what I call my soul) stepped forward to provide the healing. Ultimate acceptance and internal permission to be a conduit in this way is the main idea and the theme of this poem.

“Soul Strings”

I’ve awakened from a deep slumber of dissociation and detachment from my authentic spirit my dear readers. Healing isn’t always pretty and nice but the rewards are priceless and the love I feel within my own being combined with the love I have for all of humanity paints my world in technicolor! I’ve often referred to being an empath in this way, feeling and seeing the world in a deeply vibrant hue at all times. It once kept me locked in the jaws of fear, fear of myself which caused utter and complete confusion. Now I understand it.

“Transformation”

I have 40 hours of apprenticeship hours to complete before my final certification. Besides having my children and becoming a mother, I have never wanted something more for myself. I’ve written before on here how I have never held a career in the traditional sense besides that of a caregiver. This role of a healer is the ultimate in care giving with the greatest level of responsibility that I could ever have imagined. I’m simultaneously humbled and honored to heal others through the art of shamanism. My journey has reached a new road, one that I take with a pep in my step and a grace I have practiced my whole life. Thank you God for seeing me worthy. I’m eternally grateful.

Please check out my books of poetry and tarot card offerings by visiting https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Bloom where you grow

On days like today, I don’t avoid the rain but purposely go out into it, with my bike or on foot. Today I chose my bike. I like to go for long rides up to 20 miles on some days. The last time I rode in the rain I was annoyed, frustrated and just wanted to get it over. Today’s ride was born from those feelings, they are what drove me out into the storm. The rain holds the magic in which I cleanse my soul while drenching my entire being and allows for clarity. Often in these past two weeks, I have felt utterly lost in emotion.

“Lost”

I have been running from myself for years. Avoiding, dissociating, distracting myself with many different things like abusing alcohol, over exercising, excessive talking and other people’s troubles. Anything to not feel me. Lately I have discovered the wisdom in stillness and quiet. Emotional dysfunction whispers lies yet my soul knows there is always hope. I no longer have the luxury of doing the types of activities and maladaptive behaviors that keep me separated from myself, they have officially run their course. As I write this post, the two songs that have played from my playlist were Phil Collins, “In the Air Tonight” and Bill Withers “Lean on Me”. Both are appropriate for this post because their lyrics shine light on exactly how I have been feeling these past couple of weeks. My feelings have brought me to another layer of shedding what no longer serves, letting go of attachments to allow for my authentic self to come through. Thank you God for showing me in practical, real life instances to lean on you. I certainly have felt this coming for some time, especially at night.

“Attached”

Learning to become a shamanic healer has taught me that I must first face the challenges in my life, the very ones that I’ve avoided in order to fully help others in their own healing. I must first heal my own soul as a requirement for this role. It’s been whispering to me, “it’s time Maria” and “you can do this”. All the while I have felt so utterly alone. Despite living with both my parents and my son. This minus my partner has made my heart feel so blue without him. He’s my best friend and companion, the person who nudges me out of my seriousness and all the pressure I put upon myself. He accepts me fully no questions asked. We made arrangements for his arrival this week that have been unfortunately postponed for the time being due to circumstances beyond both of our control. That question of “what is in my control” has been popping up a lot lately and I have been taking a lot of what’s been going on personally, which does me no good. I learn so much about myself through our relationship which a big reason I respect, admire and love him as I do. This time apart has presented another opportunity for me to fully accept myself, on my own. I feel so different since we were last together and fear started creeping in again. Would he still love me?

“Mirror”

My ride today solidified that the way I was going about this situation isn’t serving me best. I can’t look to anyone or anything to give me these answers. During these long wet rides, I talk to myself and God. That’s when it hit me, I have to rely on God who aids my own inner strength for these realizations. I’m meant to be alone for a bit longer and really I’m never truly alone. That’s an illusion my mind has been telling myself forever, since my confusing childhood years that were loud and scary. As a middle child, I have always had others around me. I have lived alone for very short amount of time in my life. In the total of my 42 years I’ve probably spent less than one year on my own. The light that shines brightly within can’t be denied and I love myself for knowing that, for feeling that again.

Since May, moving and starting this apprenticeship I have seen the different aspects of my being that I have avoided, tried to erase, betrayed and denied. If one is to be whole, ALL of these parts must be integrated into an I AM mantra and belief. There is no separation, no duality, no personality that owns my whole. For I AM all of them which today gives me comfort, no longer fear or shame.

I keep writing throughout all of these realizations and ah-ha moments. This morning after meditation, the message I kept hearing was, “Maria, bloom where you grow”. Then I wrote this poem. While I’m writing this paragraph, Dolly Parton’s “Wildflowers” is playing. This song is exactly how I have felt my entire life. Listen my dear readers…..

Lao Tzu said, “Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Have the patience to wait! Be still and allow the mud to settle.” Patience is a virtue I have been cultivating in my garden of growth for years now. After my bike ride arriving home, I feel at peace and I can say the water is running clear my dear readers.

Please check out my three books of poetry available now on Amazon at the links below

Spirituality

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I intended to write this post about the Divine Intervention session I had on Friday but today has been an up and down roller coaster of emotions that I feel needs to be processed properly and takes precedence over that. In short, it was amazing and I can really feel a major shift going on which is probably in part the reason why I feel so emotional today.

Today April 26th is my youngest son Miles’s 15th birthday. Unfortunately I haven’t gotten to see him in almost 4 years. Parent alienation is a real and terrible thing. I have a very close and awesome relationship with my oldest son Tyler, Ty we affectionately call him. Ty lives with his grandparents, my ex-husband’s parents and they are very good to him. Ty moved out when he was 16 because he couldn’t stand living under my ex-husband’s thumb any longer. They always butted heads and he was actually very mean to Ty, like cruel even. I could never understand it being our firstborn why he treated him so poorly. I observed a jealousy he harbored against him early on even. I was a stay at home mother and Ty and I have always been super close.

This post is about Miles however. My boys are almost 4 years apart and I always refer to him as my sunshine🌞 and my snuggle bunny! He came into this world so happy, full of life with dimples highlighting his big smile and a great giggling laugh😂 Lately and because of our separation unfortunately Ty is the only person who gives me updates on his brother’s wellbeing. My ex has refused to speak to me for over 6 years now. It’s so ignorant and petty, trying to erase me because he’s hurt still that I wanted a divorce. He must be because to have moved on and having two new children with his current partner still has him apparently bitter towards me. He still thinks having nothing to do with me is the best option. He is oblivious to the fact he is actively hurting my boys, our boys. Ty has told me he can’t understand why his father had two more children and that they were the exact reason he moved out at 16.

Ty has told me Miles is becoming more and more angry. Especially now with our current lockdown and quarantine situation, he has to participate in long distance schooling and doesn’t see his friends. He is stuck in a house with a two year old and a 10 month old daily. His father hardly pays him any attention because the little ones demand so much of his time and because his mind has been poisoned to believe lies about his mother. Miles hasn’t spoken to me on his own in over three years. He will only talk to me when he’s with Ty at their grandparents house. I write hand written letters to him all the time because I have been blocked from social media and he has asked Ty to not give me his cell number.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t completely see and understand why he is so angry. His father and I divorced when he was only 6. I needed to recreate my life after all the trauma I endured in the state we were living in and I made the hardest decision of my life to move very far away to another region of the country to do it. In the beginning we would talk all the time, video chat and I would make yearly trips back to visit. In the last four years my finances have been terrible and I can’t afford the trip. I get it he feels abandoned. He blames me because that’s what he hears from his father. At 15, he lacks the emotional maturity and life experiences that Ty has at almost 19 and living on his own for almost 3 years. Living with his grandparents just started 7 months ago. Before that his girlfriend’s mother let him live with them. The lack of communication on my ex-husband’s side towards me has had me in the dark and unaware if most of these details until recently.

I should mention too that from 2017 up until Christmas of 2019 I had zero communication with either of my sons. That was a very dark and depressing time for me. I finally reached out to my ex brother in-law and begged him to give me my ex-husband’s phone number. I called but he refused to answer. I asked my sister to reach out and get a message to Ty. As soon as Ty knew I cared and was looking for him, he reached out via social media. It was the best Christmas present I could ever get!

Since Ty and I have reconnected, I have been patiently waiting for Miles to come around but from what Ty tells me poor Miles’s is getting more and more angry. He doesn’t want to interact with Ty even much anymore and they were so incredibly close during and after the divorce. I know it hurts Ty and today everything came to a boiling point .

It was pouring raining there today. Ty rode 6 miles on his bike to his father’s house with the birthday card I sent, a gift card from me, a letter I had written a month ago (I’m not allowed(according to him, not court appointed to have my ex-husband’s address , therefore everything must be mailed to his parents house. Let me state here too that I share 50% custody of my boys as is stated in our divorce decree) and $40 in cash he was giving to his brother for his birthday. Miles refused to come outside and told Ty he didn’t want anything from me. When Ty called he was really upset. He told me, “Mom, I have to move Miles out of Dad’s.” We spoke at length about what I believe Miles is going through at 15, taking into account his current living situation and being shutoff from his mother. I told Ty how proud I am of him for attempting to deliver the gifts. I told him he is being the bigger person, with so much emotional intelligence for a young man and being the man I raised him to always be…. kind, considerate and compassionate towards others, especially family.

I went for a twelve mile run after hearing all of this. The first long distance run I’ve taken since before the shutdown. I love the park near my house because it has a huge lake and a beautiful ten mile path looping around it just south east of Dallas. Running in general clears my head and is how I processed my divorce 10 years ago. Running near water soothes my soul💙

View from a bridge

When I run I usually talk with God. Sometimes out loud depending on if I’m alone on the path but mostly in my head. This afternoon I asked God to touch Miles’s heart and allow him to feel my love for him and his brother’s love too. Ty was really upset and thought for sure he wouldn’t change his mind when I told him I had a feeling he would. I definitely didn’t expect him to do a 180 turn around today, but that’s exactly what happened! Thank you God🙏 Miles agreed to meet him halfway so he could get his gifts.

Here’s a picture from the very last birthday we actually spent together, 9 years ago when he was turning 6🎉

Happy birthday Miles🎉

Here’s a picture Ty took and shared with me from over the summer. This shot showcases Miles’s goofball personality 😂

Miles is the ultimate gamer🎮

To sum up today I will share a painting and a poem I finished yesterday. It’s interesting how both were started on Friday night before any of this happened. I think my mind must have been channeling it and trying to process it beforehand. I am so grateful for my creative outlets that help me make sense of my big giant heart💖

Can’t see the forest for the trees🎨
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I now have 2 books of poetry available on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Musings-Maria-Pratico/dp/1798567504/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=%22emotional+musings%22&qid=1587010926&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087H7D1VS/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=Emotional+Musings&qid=1587663034&sr=8-3

Spirituality

Staying in the love vibration

Not matter the current circumstances my dear readers, I am choosing to reject all of the fear being pumped into our society currently. Despite the fact that it is Friday the 13th and the Coronavirus is threatening the health of millions, billions throughout all of humanity……keep in the love vibe. Please. Love is the highest and most powerful of all energy vibrations ❤

Here are eight helpful tips you can practice to keep love running through your mind, body and spirit 🥰

  1. Become conscious of your thoughts. Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality. We truly are our thoughts💭
  2. Find something beautiful and appreciate it. I do this through meditation and visualization.
  3. Be conscious of the foods you eat. Again, you are what you eat.
  4. Drink water and plenty of it. It’s the best way to rid the body of toxins
  5. Meditate. For at least 5 to 15 minutes every day. It’s a muscle that can be built over time, repetition and practice. I have been incorporating meditation into my daily routine for 10 years now and practicing yoga for 20. It’s never perfect but is progress in keeping myself balanced and centered 🧘‍♀️
  6. Be grateful. Especially with yourself. Show others kindness and practice the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated🙌
  7. Practice acts of kindness. Both random and intentional, our world needs this now more than ever✌
  8. Get your blood pumping by moving your body for at least 20 minutes daily. Why not smile while doing it too….studies show that smiling while exercising has an even more beneficial impact on your overall health in the long term 😁

No matter what, reject all fear. Stay in the love vibration ❤🙌


This morning my creative mind wanted to play around with different types of poetry formats. Tapping into my passionate heart and my ability to empathize, using compassion to understand humanity. My message here is to love one another now more than ever❤