Spirituality

Super Sagittarius and my upcoming project

I was born under a new moon and have both Sun & Moon in Sagittarius. Plus Venus, which governs our value system, pleasures and influences my charm, gracefulness and beauty…..mostly my heart’s desires😉
I also have Neptune in Sagittarius which is where I get my optimism and generosity from😉

I am considered a Super Sagittarius 💜♐
Thank you #earthboundtrading for this gorgeous constellation of Sagittarius barrette! Also this sweet aura bead meant to amplify my energy💜♐

Sagittarius constellation

Right now I’m going to give you a bit more information on the project I teased about in my last post about my professional photoshoot. I am so pleased my the response to my pictures and really damn happy I was taking them. I’m celebrating me🎉🥰

I told you my dear readers that I had them done for multiple reasons and the first upcoming project I just sent off, thankfully, was a real doozy!! I was asked to give an interview for a local magazine here in Dallas, TX that features upcoming people to watch in and around the city. When I first read the email I was so taken aback that I thought somebody was punking me🤣

Recognition in my inbox😊

What you may not know dear readers is that I unfortunately don’t own a laptop. I punch out this blog and my first book’s manuscript from my crappy Android cell phone. Where there’s a will there’s a way I always say💪😉 So on Monday night when I first received the final prints I was so excited to jump on this link and start answering the interview questions. Now, I have commented on some of my fellow blogger’s posts how I am not super tech savvy having to figure out things myself is hard and it is very time consuming but I will never let that stop me…..just a lil venting session is ok, right🤪 you know what I mean V at https://millenniallifecrisis.org/

There were 12 sections to complete, the first 5 were direct questions about my story, how I started and got to where I am today, was the path to success clear (if you’ve been reading my blog from the beginning you know my struggles and all about my uphill battles) if I think good luck or bad luck influences me, what sets me apart from other people, what am I most proud of accomplishing so far….damn it I just remembered I forgot to incorporate the poetry slams I have attended so far this year. Opps!!

Well, the reason for my absentmindedness is because I shouldn’t have started working so late at night while my mind was too tired. I became distracted by a notification, one of the frustrating reasons that pop up because I work from my phone, dragged down the screen without saving anything first and BAM….2 hours of writing gone.

Thankfully, Tuesday I was off from work so I woke up excited to start again except this time I thought I would try using the laptop inside my partner’s Mother’s house. We live in an in law suite in the back. She has an older laptop that I unfortunately spilled coffee on last year while I was babysitting our little nephew😐 so it tends to have a mind of it’s own. The WiFi signal in it has always been weak, when Mama came walking through the back room I was in she made a comment on how she was surprised it was working. I believe she inadvertently jinxed me because soon after that, the computer just died! It kept going through this annoying self repair feature and it wouldn’t allow me to log back onto the internet because the WiFi signal was completely dead. This time I had invested 6 hours of work so needless to say I was pretty upset. I told my partner that I would resume work on it today, Thursday and we walked to the local corner store for a beer to calm my nerves🍺

I should add in here that I always get extra emotional a week before my time of the month. I have PMDD, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which makes my mind loopy, I misunderstand things and tend to process information differently. I am already a HSP yet I become even more so during this time because light, sounds and my internal temperature thermometer is up and down…..making me feel hot and then cold….yes and no…..Katy Perry in my head now 🙄

Last night I came home frustrated from work and I used that slow burning anger to keep me up all night until I finished and submitted the entire interview. I banged out another 6 hours!! I must say however, I feel relieved. Like a monkey is off my back. I am not of fan of deadlines, time management and the like. I live my life in a spontaneous do what I feel like kinda way most of the time if I can help it however of course I do have to adhere to a schedule because I understand that there is only so much time in the day. My conditioning and ego try to pull me back and keep me safe but I am determined to keep growing, evolving, recognizing, shifting where neccessary and always radically accepting. I am flawed, I am human and I love me despite it all🥰

The article should be published in a few weeks and I will definitely share it with you my dear readers. Peace out✌

Spirituality

Professional photoshoot

Well my dear readers, I finally had some professional photographs taken for my media portfolio, upcoming new book of poetry, “Emotional Musings 2” (I plan on self publishing it again on Amazon sometime this month y’all so stay tuned) and another surprise that I’m gonna tease you with here😉

I met Allan Willis II in the boutique I manage a few weeks ago when he came in shopping with his wife. We developed a natural connection as artists and I mentioned needing some photographs taken for my portfolio. It all unfolded so organically which I love❤

Sunday I woke up bright and early ready for our shoot! I asked my sales associate and dear friend Allie to help me with my makeup since she used to work for Christian Dior. We had so much fun getting everything just right for my big close up📸

My new profile picture

The entire next few hours went by in a breeze because I was so comfortable with not only my surroundings but with myself. The last professional photoshoot I did was when I was dancing and holding poses is very different than what we did for my author pictures. Think ok…..hold your leg high and 1-2-3 BAM or ready set jump in the air while looking the best you can and GO🤪 Afterwards, Allan told me he didn’t really have to do any building with me after taking some test shots which made me feel really good inside🤗

I have notoriously not enjoyed being the subject of pictures because I’m so hard on myself stemming from having an eating disorder and body dysmorphia when I was dancing. My mother has always been a pictures fanatic which I too have a love/hate relationship with. Having to pose for pictures is unnatural for me and I can see my unease in those types of pictures instantly which makes me not like them or the experience at all….and that cycle has goes on and on for years🙄

Free spirited, daydreaming chic

This experience completely changed my view of being the main subject of a picture! I even told Allan that if he ever needs a model for anything to please call me. I can honestly and truly feel myself transforming from that shy, no self esteem, forced happiness trying to ignore my wounded inner child adult into a self confident, self assured and empowered woman when I look that these pictures. He was able to capture my love of being in a big city, free spirited essence with flair and my bohemian chic style🌈🌠❤

Dallas or San Francisco😉

I have recently come across some posts discussing how in our society we are conditioned to view self care and self love as selfishness and I can whole heartedly agree with that. For my entire life up until June ’19 I have put others before myself. When I was a stay at home mother my biggest mistake was not taking care of myself enough. This is the longest stretch where I have stayed true to the promise of taking care of myself first and foremost, a 180 degree change for the better and I’m doing it consistently. I am proud of myself for this. I have obtained so much inner peace this way, caring for my spirit and nurturing myself. It’s not always easy and those I love push my boundaries a lot but I refuse to give in and go back to the old Maria.

This is me

I have written before about how I always knew from reading my astrological chart that I would be a late bloomer, not really coming into my own until midlife. This is the opposite of a midlife crisis, this is midlife contentment. I’m finally loving not only myself but where I am in life. I may not be rich but I’m wealthy in karma. I do my best each day to stay in the moment and enjoy life. I’m letting go of old beliefs surrounding perfectionism and embracing my own emotions, not allowing other’s emotions to drag me down (#empathproblems) I’m healing and honoring my inner child while observing how that has helped make a big shift in my behaviors not only with myself but with others. As always, I remain hopeful and hold tremendous faith that the Divine has my back. I’m stepping into this new, shiny and much lighter version of me and I couldn’t be happier💃😊

Maria Teresa aka Ladysag77
Spirituality

Love overflowing

My oldest son is here in Dallas visiting me my dear readers and I couldn’t be happier! Tyler is 18, turns 19 in August, and has grown into such a thoughtful, insightful and mature man. He really blows me away with his point of view on life. I must admit, he has his stuff way more together than I ever did at that age!

We are staying a block away from the hotel I work inside of in downtown. Last night I took him to see where I work and he was able to meet many of the people I see on a daily basis inside The Statler hotel. He was immediately impressed by the ambiance of the hotel with it’s rich history and background of being one of Mr. Conrad Hilton’s flagship properties. There is something to be said for cultivating meaningful relationships with the people you work with because many of them told Ty how much I brag about him and treated him like a king!

My heart is bursting with pride for how smitten my dear friend and the owner of the boutique I manage took to him❤ He has already asked me when we will get to see her again because he enjoyed her company so much! I must admit how fulfilling it is to see all of my hardwork pay off as a stay at home for the twelve years I was raising him and my younger son.

Miles may still feel not ready to rejoin our little threesome because of the alienation my ex-husband and my moving away has caused, yet I know it is only a matter of time. He will understand more once he has some true life experiences under his belt like his brother. Ty has been on his own for over two years now and works a full time job with a good company. He has confided in me that Miles feels angry and perhaps abandoned which is something I completely understand based on how the divorce played out. My decision to move out of state and restart my life must still be confusing for him while he still lives with his Dad. He was so young when we separated, only 5 years old. Miles didn’t get near enough alone time and attention from me. Tyler and I had almost four solid years together before Miles was born.

Being able to embrace my role of Mom is exhilarating and fills me with such joy and peace! I live on a ton of faith and hope because we live so far away from one another. Having Ty around me reminds me of the greatest and most honorable reasons to be alive. We have been through so much together and it is so refreshing to see what a sweet and kind man at 18 can be like. My boys are the two best accomplishments in my life and they make me so proud to hold the title of Mom.

Ty goes back to Rhode Island on Monday so for now we are enjoying every minute together as you dear readers can see in these pictures 🥰

Mother & son
Enjoying a laugh together
At the pool

This is the best gift I could ever have, the pleasure of time off work spent with one of my favorite and most loved people in this world❤