Grief and loss, Healing

Feeling is healing

Often times we do whatever we can to mute, disconnect and halt our feelings. I know this process well my dear readers. Through the trauma, abuse and self destructive ways I attempted to stifle my feelings in the hopes of erasing what was going on, I came to understand there is no way to escape the pain. What I have learned my friends is the only way to truly live is by feeling, for that is healing. Listening to the notes of each heart song, brings me closer to my authentic self and creates a bridge to my soul. To feel is to heal which in turn elevates the soul.

This Saturday my family and I will bid an official farewell to my Dad. My Mom chose to hold the memorial on the same date as their first meeting which was a blind date, 45 years ago. It’s very special for her. I’m honored to be giving a reading during the Catholic mass that will be held in his honor and reciting my poem “Daddy” while the choir director plays “How Great Art Thou” my Dad’s favorite hymn. It’s also three months to the day he breathed his final breath, crossing over to the spirit realm, to be with God and the angels. I’ve been feeling lots of different emotions as you can imagine my dear ones. The difference of focus for me now is that I don’t judge my feelings. I surrender, I accept and I feel them. However they surface, with anger, with tears or with laughter. All of it serves.

Curiously investigating feelings to heal

This poem, “Inner Landscape” was recently named post of the day on the app I use, Mirakee, to create my poems. I have been using this app for over two years and this is the first time I have been recognized by this honor. I must tell you the sheer joy I felt receiving so much love, kindness and support from the writing community on the app and on the social media platforms I shared it on. My hope and prayer is that by sharing my journey of healing, of learning to live by my motto of “Triumphing over Trauma”, I can inspire others to do the same. This is another poem about healing, based upon chakra health which leads to a richness and wealth of well-being.

Chakra health =healing wealth

I would also like to share with you my dear readers a clip from a show I have been binging on Netflix called “The Magicians”. This clip is of the cast singing in remembrance of one of the lead characters, their dear friend who passes away tragically after a magic spell that leads to an unexpected outcome. It really impacted me as I watched it, tears spontaneously fell from my eyes and poured down my face. I’ve heard this song so many times ,yet not in this tempo, which allowed the meaning to shine light upon my own grief. We get such a short amount of time in this life for the people we connect with to leave an indelible mark upon our hearts that we may not recognize until they are gone. We are presented with that choice, to “Take on Me” when we love someone. These special relationships teach us so much. My Dad is the strongest and most humble person I have ever been blessed to know and love. He was a man of few words, the strong and silent type, so when he spoke he commanded attention and you listened. I’m so very honored to be his daughter, getting the opportunity to “take on him”.

Lastly, I will close this post with two other poems that reflect my heart and healing at this time along my journey. I urge each one of you my dear friends, tap into your heart, feel your feelings, heal and continue to discover your authentic self, which is your truth. It’s beautiful. It’s you!

Honor your spirit

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
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Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

The light of love shines like a mirror

Imagine your being as a mirror, what are you reflecting out into the world? Are you living authentically, heart centered and open or are you closed, in fear and driven by the chaos. Finding a balance in between the two is where peace lies. Living by my soul’s purpose shows me the ways in which I can adjust my mirror on a daily basis so that I can be the best me possible and shine my bright light of love, my mirror upon others.

Humans were built for community, we need one another to grow and learn from. Some lessons are more challenging than others. This week has been a particularly emotional one for me as the waves of grief wash over me, processing the loss of my Dad was my main focus again. We heal in cycles my dear ones, being forever brought back to the places we need to go deeper into acceptance of. It all serves and healing never ceases. While riding my bike back and forth to the beach twice this week, about thirty miles or so altogether, I found myself repeating this mantra:

“I acknowledge, I surrender, I release, I accept”

There are no mute or pause buttons that are helpful for processing deep emotions. The best choice is to practice what these words mean, to heed their lesson. Awareness is the name of the game. I am all of what I feel by accepting whatever is coming up, leaning into it and dancing with its message. The medicine I choose is always love. The person who is responsible for loving all of me, is me. I retreat to the beach and allow the healing light of the Sun to work his magic. I also brought along some tiger’s eye crystals that are great for helping to release fear and anxiety and aids in achieving harmony and balance within. It stimulates taking action, and helps you to make decisions with discernment and understanding, becoming unclouded by your emotions. Practicing patience by surrendering to and allowing whatever shows up to wash through until a clear decision is reached.

Love is the best medicine

The app I use to create my poems is called Mirakee. Every day they ask the members to participate in creating a poem from a word prompt. It’s a fun way of writing and I am usually surprised at what flows out. The word that prompted this poem was”to write a poem based on our zodiac sign”. This poem “Firefly” is a celebration of those like me who are born under the zodiac sign of Sagittarius. Here’s to the wild, adventurous and freedom loving fellow Sagittarians!

Sagittarius ♐

In times like this I find it’s important to be extra gentle with myself and I practice this by breathing consciously and scheduling time for extra meditation. This week I was guided to focus on my heart chakra a bit more. This is the area of our body where most of us neglect and is the root cause for conditions like heart disease to manifest. Slowing down and paying closer attention to our hearts, while quieting the mind is essential to our well-being my dear readers. I invite you to tap into your heart and heal whatever comes up. This is where our truth lies.

Love over fear, the two can not coexist

Finally, as the God centered being I am, I turn to His lessons of love for all of creation, unity, harmony and balance. His grace and mercy are readily available to each and every one of us, believers and non believers alike. When we can tap into a power greater than ourselves it’s amazing what we can find. Call it the Universe, Mother Nature or God (I see them all as one force) When I can become still within this vibration, the great I AM comes forth and heals my soul. It is within each of us, supporting us, existing in all of nature that surrounds us. This belief soothes me most of all. And so it is. Amen. Amen. Amen.

God’s love is the greatest of all
The Lord’s Prayer

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Grief and loss, Healing, Holidays

My grown up Christmas wish

This year at Christmas my heart is heavy because I am missing the 2 greatest loves of my life, my Dad who passed on 11/24/20 and my fiance who is in another state far away. This poem is my heart’s prayer for the love they both have given me over the years, making me the woman I am. Their love is my eternal gift. Combined with my love of God, this is what I’m grateful to receive this year at Christmas.

May you all find moments of sacred peace, holiday joy and bliss with lots of love❤✨💚

Love is my gift

I haven’t celebrated this Italian tradition in the 10 years since my divorce. My Mom and I wanted to honor my Dad. Here’s the two stages of the shrimp marinara sauce I made over angel hair pasta. Here’s to you Dad, mangia mangia!

Sauted shrimp in onions and garlic
Add crushed tomatoes and fresh basil

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

The tao of my heart

Today marks three weeks since my Dad’s passing. This time in my life, remains as I described in my last post, strangely beautiful. We’re extremely connected yet I can’t help but feel a tremendous heaviness within my heart. I’ve accepted that it will remain there for some time to come.. It’s as though his passing has created a leak within my heart and as much I try to find my footing, my flow is off. Ah, patience you fickle concept you. Alas, I find myself sitting amongst many of us in the collective within the dark night of my soul period, otherwise known as shadow work. The Universe has presented me with a triple whammy of sorts to sit through.

My creativity and imagination are what I’m leaning into mostly right now. Truth be told, patience and I are not friends lately. Google defines the concept of patience as “being more than trust, and as a value that reflects the state of one’s body and mind. The term pariksaha is sometimes also translated as test or exam, in other contexts. Some of these concepts  have been carried into the spiritual understanding of yoga”.

I must admit I haven’t been on my yoga mat as much as I should and need to be lately. I’m being brought through old coping patterns and lots of nostalgia. I’m having that, “seeing my life flashing before my eyes” scenario play out minus the sense of impending doom. Most days I cry often allowing the flow of my tears to happen without lending judgement to them. Crying for crying’s sake.

Many questions relating to Taoism keep popping up in my mind. Taoism is the ancient Chinese philosophy  (also known as Daoism)  attributed to the teachings of Lao Tzu, a spirit I channel often.  It emphasizes doing what is natural and “going with the flow” in accordance with the Tao (or Dao), a cosmic force of energy which flows through all things that both binds and releases them. These ideas align with me as a shaman as I ponder what my place is within this world. This year has brought me to a depth of my soul, a dark abyss  that can best be described as the place where scuba divers get to, way down deep into the ocean where they experience neutral buoyancy. Their bodies merge as one with the deep waters, allowing them to be so deep & swim as freely as they want to. These freedoms within this depth has triggered yet another layer of fear to be peeled from my being. I find myself once again, surrendering to the unknown and allowing myself to fall apart.

Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs,  I admitted to my son the other day when he called to say hi and I spontaneously broke out in tears. I told him that God gives his toughest battles to the fiercest warriors. Witnessing my Mom’s broken heart, the pain from having COVID-19 herself and not being able to hug my siblings hurts. Period. My dear friend Sophia reminded me soon after my Dad passed that I don’t always have to be the strong one. Boy, these past three weeks have shown me that truth in the most profound of ways. Again, my dear readers I retreat to my words and my paints.

This past weekend was quite cathartic as I sat out on the patio, watching the rain and painting. These are my latest poems, all speak to the strong emotions that my heart is acknowledging and releasing. My only job is observing them and allowing them. Keeping my healer’s heart and soul in balance. One of my soul sister’s and I had a great chat on Saturday about the power of vulnerability as a healer. Honestly, I myself have more respect for those who can admit their struggles than the constant “love and light” crowd that tend to be found spiritually bypassing those of us who are doing the deep inner work that explores the pain. My heart is in pain yet I know it’s a temporary situation in order to strengthen me. To live life without my Dad. To face life’s challenges minus my life partner for the time being. To rely solely upon myself and know that I’m constantly supported by the Divine. To embrace being pure magic. To remember who I am as a child of God who graciously serves Him.

“Dark night of the soul”
Acknowledging and releasing
Peeling another layer of fear
Wiping the slate clean

On Sunday, the sun was shining brightly as I went out for a run. As I approached the nature preserve near the park I run in, I looked up to see my Dad’s spirit flying overhead as a short-tailed hawk. Moments later I looked down and right  there, in the middle of the sidewalk was a beautiful lapis lazuli stone! A reminder, a gift from Dad to always speak my truth and stand in my power. I use this stone regularly to balance my throat chakra and I just so happened to have transplanted mine that morning. Lapis luzli is a powerful stone that encourages self-awareness and taking charge of your own life. It helps us to express ourselves safely, empowering us without holding back, and brings the qualities of honesty, compassion, and integrity. Indeed Divinely timed, guided, protected and unconditionally loved.

Thanks Dad💙

A theme that has been present for me during this time is water. Ah, how water does elevate the pressure and the sheer weight of these feelings, assisting in the flow of them. I want to share with you dear ones this beautiful song. While you listen to it, visualize the power of the ocean washing away all your fears. Namaste.

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Pioneers of Change

Another repost from my dear friend Maria Chambers at https://soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com/

I may write an original tomorrow. I’m being gentle and compassionate towards myself during this cycle of grief I’m surfing. Namaste my dear ones❤

Artwork by George Redhawk If you are reading these words, and relate to the material in this blog, you are a pioneer of change.  Your outer life may not seem to reflect that truth, and that’s because the changes have been inner ones.  And as we know, real change begins at inner levels. Most people […]

Pioneers of Change