Healing, relationships, Spirituality

The magic of December

I am a modern day troubadour spreading the power of love through my poems. The energy that is occurring on Earth right now is life changing my dear readers! Powered by last week’s New Moon and solar eclipse in Sagittarius, we are rising to feel much more of the love vibration that is pouring upon us through Spirit, the Divine light. Tap in, feel its power and trust the truths that are ushering in New Earth. Welcome to the mass healing, the Great Awakening. Can you feel the shifts within yourself to learn more of your own truth? What an amazingly beautiful time to be alive!!!

This is a short and sweet expression of joy as I celebrate my 44th birthday, stepping into the spaciousness that freedom inside provides and the creativity that allows my soul to thrive. This past year has been one of elevation and endings. I have learned so much, growing by leaps and bounds. Shifting from ego to soul and allowing love’s purity to shine through. My heart is full and I look forward to so much abundance to come here in my new home in Utah. I’ve met my soul tribe. Absolutely magical people who see me, my authentic self and show me such love and kindness. This month is so very special because it’s not only my birthday, it’s also my sister’s AND my nephew’s 21st on the full moon next week. Many special celebrations are planned all month long.

Listening to Spirit, I allow myself to be

My dear friend and soul sister Rachelle took me on my first hike up the canyon last week. Getting outside into the elevation rejuvenates me completely. I took a few short videos too. We call these outings walkie talkies and we both get some much from them. Enjoying nature while processing what’s going on in our lives, sharing intuitive guidance with one another and our perspectives. I am incredibly grateful for our connection. Thank you for being you Rachelle,  I love you very much!

Good morning Sun
Suspension bridge silliness
Bear Canyon in Draper,Utah

I’ve officially lived here for three months now and I love living in this part of the country. The chill vibes from the mountains and the kindness of the people have made this transition an easy one. My sister and brother-law have opened their home and their hearts to me at time when I needed them the most. Healing our relationship means everything to me. My sister is so generous with everything she has and I love her so deeply. She’s always been a mother figure to me. We all participated in what is called “The Human Race” on Thanksgiving. It’s a 5K and 10K course and my brother-in-law and I ran the 10K together finishing just minutes apart. It’s the longest I have run since arriving here and adjusting to the altitude. It’s been a big change for my body coming from the east coast to now living in elevation. I’m being gentle with myself by allowing myself to acclimate slowly. I walk a mile and a half to work which keeps me moving and grooving as well as shirt runs around our community lake. Now that we’re in December, I feel the cold settling in. This southern living woman hasn’t experienced a winter since 2013 yet I’m much more comfortable than I thought I would be! Thankfully, I have eased into my new home quite well and feel balanced with my work/life schedule. Quality over quantity in all areas is how I roll.

Attitude is everything
My family at The Human Race

These poems are a continuous expression of my heart and the lessons learned through soul. The new beginnings here are inspired by energy coding and my soul’s ongoing awakening. Awareness becomes clear when I am heeding what Spirit teaches and guides me to and through. Remaining in awe of the outpouring of love, effortlessly I allow the Light to come shining through. Inside of me and inside of you. And so it is. Amen.

Celebrating being, isn’t life grand?
Be kind my friends, the more you give, the more you receive
Advice from myself to my younger self

Life is so surprising by the endless messages, signs and gifts I become aware of the more I follow Spirit’s teachings. Learning to be patient is the greatest act of self love. Allowing love to lead is a choice I mindfully make everyday and within each moment. Life truly is a gift and it’s meant to be shared with all. We are mirrors for one another and each others teachers. I learn more and more everyday. I dance through the ebbs and flows with lots of laughter. I used to take myself so seriously when I was younger. I can see how hard I was on my own heart. Life is much lighter now and I feel much more joyful having forgiven myself amd others for the past. Living in each moment and enjoying every spectrum of emotion there is in it brings a smile to my face. Everyday…. in some way, even if some days I have to look a little deeper to see it.. I love getting older. The years are not what matter, it’s the life in them and boy do I have so much to be grateful for!

The only truth is love

This last poem, “Waterlily Flow” is dedicated to my sister Tami, the person who has shown me what art is by the legendary painters like Claude Monet. Art means expressing yourself no matter what and being true to your heart. Tami is a true artist. She is intentional with everything she does. Creativity bursts from her heart using her home as the palette for decorating, her cooking, gift giving and the attentiveness of her most generous soul. She can draw anything and wrap a present so beautifully that you don’t even want to open it! Everything she does she puts 100% into. She often doesn’t give herself enough credit or get the appreciation from the people that were entrusted to care for her growing up. This is for you sis, I see you and I adore you!

Thanks Tam Tam for bringing art into my life

If you’re interested in a long distance shamanic healing session via phone, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 5 books of poetry please click the link below. See the Services tab in the menu on this website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Spirituality

Love is a choice

Lately I’ve had a lot of time to think and be with myself. I started reading a book that looks at how we define love in our culture and how we are living in a largely loveless society. Whether you were raised in a functional or dysfunctional home, with one or both parents, not dependent upon financial standing, race or religion so many of us question what the true meaning of love is and many of us have never experienced it. We have a better understanding of care and affection but love takes a different level of unconditional commitment. A kind of “no matter what” place of focus. My dears, we are definitely in search of it. I like the definition that is presented by M. Scott Peck in his classic book “The Road Less Traveled” in it he clearly defines love as “ the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” To go on he says, “Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely, both an intention and an action. Will implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” “I believe in order “to love someone completely, openly and honestly while expressing care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment and trust” we must truly be ready to willing to openly focus on each of these values with our whole heart. For me love is not a noun but a verb.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, love is my lane. For me, giving and sharing the love that’s in my heart is akin to The Golden Rule. I have raised my boys by reminding them frequently that they may not like other people but you must always love others. Loving others is something that comes natural for me and the more I look around the more I believe love is needed in all of our interactions with one another for than ever! The pandemic and current long overdue social uprising is begging of us to love one another my dears. Like one of my favorite bands sang, “All you need is love”. Yes, we sure do❤

I was listening to another Beatles song today off “Rubber Soul” on my bike ride. “The Word” really made me think about love in a way that I hadn’t before. Here are the lyrics:

The Word

The Beatles

Say the word and you’ll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

In the beginning I misunderstood
But now I’ve got it, the word is good

Spread the word and you’ll be free
Spread the word and be like me
Spread the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

Every where I go I hear it said
In the good and bad books that I have read

Say the word and you’ll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

Now that I know what I feel must be right
I’m here to show everybody the light

Give the word a chance to say
That the word is just the way
It’s the word I’m thinking of
And the only word is love

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

Say the word love
Say the word love
Say the word love
Say the word love

What sparked all these thoughts about love? After taking part in the ‘Wounded Healer” interview last week and in the post before that one called, “Triumphing over Trauma” where I wrote about releasing shannon a deeper level, forgiving myself and it struck me. I’ve decided to destroy the mask I wore so often completely and forever, once and for all! You know the one we wear for society, for family gatherings at times, the one we put on so we feel “safe” and so others won’t judge us or ridicule us. Imagine if we all said NO to putting that damn mask on? Oh how much lighter I feel even writing that!

This past year I have been hyper focused on my healing from the inside out. I reclaimed practices, did a lot of deep inner soul work that required an extended amount of alone time and quiet contemplation, meditation and intentional detaching from things that were the root cause of my suffering. Today I woke up and decided in order to step forward and accept the Maria I am today, I must decide who I no longer am.

I have decided that in order to be vulnerable, honest and loving towards myself I have to keep strict boundaries with others. Listen closely to my intuition and protect my precious emotional energy at all costs. Say NO when I feel any of these things are being threatened and giving myself permission to allow for grace and gentleness from myself. For so many years I thought I had to kick me own ass in order to be successful and get things done. Now I know that I need to be still in order to hear what my next steps should be. I can move energy in and through my body in a much more gentle flowing way while pumping the brakes on the old balls to the wall mentality. All that did was exhaust and hurt me creating an inevitable burnout. Today, it’s clear, my choice is to love me!

By loving myself, I’m free to love others without resentment or expectations. Like the Beatles sing, “it’s so fine, like sunshine” and now I know that what I feel must be right, I’m here to show everybody the light.” The light that is within me. Once we can discover our light and allow it to shine from the inside out as God intended….OH BOY my dear readers, what a world we could all be enjoying together! I’m reminded of another song, “This little light of mine” that I’m sure most of you have either heard or sung growing up. I just love the playful energy that ignites within my soul and releases my true authentic spirit being reminded of this lesson😉

These three poems are focused on the ideas of love, gratitude and aliveness. I want to share them with you my dear readers. Allow these words to resonate deep within your own heart and then go out and love the heck out of everyone you meet!

“Let love shine in”
“Grateful aliveness”
“Growing pains”

Please check out my 3 books of poetry now available on Amazon at the links below 😊

Spirituality

Grace, humility and patience

I’d say these three values have been tested and strengthened the most over these past two and half months my dear readers. I’ve written here many times that I firmly believe that God brings us to everything He knows we can live through. Period. The less we resist the challenges life presents to us the easier it is to integrate these values into our character. Surrender. Release. Let go. This too has been a focused mantra of mine. Forgive me my dears, for I never want to portray any of this as being easy yet the concept is simple. With daily intentions and practice, we all have the ability to manifest a life beyond our wildest dreams! I am living proof of that my dear readers.

I have been thoroughly enjoying this holiday (in the U.S. we are celebrating Memorial Day) and because it’s been raining off and on ALL weekend, I have spent my time bingeing some Netflix documentaries and mini-series. The one that really grabbed my heart is called, “Unorthodox” about a young women’s life as she grows up in the Hasidic community and ultimately discovers that their world is not for her as she leaves to discover her own true path. The parallels I drew to my own life, healing and self discovery were quite evident in each of the four parts of this series. The main character, Esty, definitely had to learn to show herself some grace while being patient enough with herself to discover her place in this world. I believe the humility she already possesses as a young women in her ultra Orthodox Jewish faith helped her a lot as she forges through the many obstacles of leaving the only place she has ever lived and travels to Berlin, Germany. This is a true story written by a woman who actually did just that in hopes of uncovering her true authentic self. From the very beginning she even tells the man who is to become her husband by means of an arranged marriage that she isn’t like the other girls, she is different.

For those of you who have been reading my blog here, I too have expressed that I have always felt different from my peers. The black sheep of my family. Many of the scenes like the one of her bathing in the kosher bath as a way of purifying her body before her marriage resonated deeply with me. Her attempts at being reborn through becoming sub servant to her new husband in order to birth his children and repopulate the world with more Jewish people in order to make up for the millions lost in Holocaust is both selfless and remarkedly relatable because I believe we all experience some level of dysfunction in our lives. It’s meant to serve a purpose I believe in deciding what we ourselves believe in and are committed to carrying on with or what we decide isn’t part of our belief system and should be left aside. I don’t mean any disrespect to this community, that isn’t my intention with this post. My heart in many ways related to and broke for Esty because she was forced into many situations that were not her own choice. God has given all us free will and we come into this world as sovereign beings yet because of societal conditioning are thrust into certain circumstances and situations not of our own choosing. There in lies the dysfunction.

Coming to terms with own beliefs and forging a life we can truly be ourselves in is crucial to happiness. I myself have lived most of my adult life in an inauthentic way. Doing things to make others happy in hopes of gaining acceptance and love no matter if I was hurting myself in the process. After Esty makes friends with a group of musicians and is finally feeling accepted, one of them tells her some truths that were both necessary yet hard for her to swallow. Again, such is life. Are you my dear readers telling people things just to appease them, be accepted or make them feel happy yet not exposing them to the real truth of a situation in order to spare their feelings? Wow. That one hit close to home. I have often been the bearer of bad news so to speak because I am honest to a fault at times and don’t always sugarcoat my words. I have also been on the receiving end of such harshness and now reflecting back upon those situations, I’m thankful for them. Definitely a shift to how I viewed those situations at the time but isn’t that also another beautiful part of life? The mystery and discovery of what certain things are meant to teach us over our time here on Earth. Our opinions and judgements, perspectives and perceptions can completely shift. I believe just as life itself is, all things are relative and cyclical.

In that part of the story, even though she felt sad she ended up changing her entire approach for her audition in Hope’s of obtaining a scholarship she was yearning to get to a prestigious music academy. That is the very essence of all of life’s choices my dear readers. We can learn from these setbacks, shift and go in a conpletely different direction or we can take on a victim mentality and allow whatever hardship to destroy us, quit which in the long run turns into a resentment. Allowing others to cast judgements that we then use to disempower ourselves is a hard reality to face down the road. Believe me, I have lived through many situations and circumstances that I don’t regret now but at the time wished I had handled differently.

Everything that has happened thus far is truly a blessing and being able to admit that fully is real growth. By living with a false sense of reality, we only hurt ourselves. Up until this part in the story, Esty has faced so much rejection. Mostly within herself yet she keeps courageously plugging along trying to make her dreams come true. When her hopes seem lost, she calls her Grandma, her bubby and the woman who raised her and because the fear of being cast out by the community is too great, her bubby hangs up the phone on her. Again, Esty must decide if that setback will crush her and force her back to the only home she has ever known. Ultimately we are shown that she has the bravery it takes to keep going despite it all. Even when all the chips are down, she finds the strength to keep believing in herself. She wants a better future for herself and her unborn child. That part really struck a chord with me as a mother and somebody that has felt like a failure for so long.

This year has been one of complete transformation and rebirth for me on all levels. As a mother, partner, daughter, sister, friend and most importantly as a woman. Rediscovering myself and remembering what my purpose here in life is has been the most beautiful, painful, tedious and challenging experience of my life thus far. I’m grateful to have discovered what I call my soul language and my true authentic voice. I wrote this poem as a way of expressing that.

I have also started my apprenticeship to become a shamanic healer and in doing so I had some “homework” to commit to doing. I did a lot of sitting with myself, talking openly to God and spirit. Communicating with the spirit animals that resonate with me, learning about tree spirits…..stuff like that. I know many of you probably think as my partner does that that’s totally weird and a foreign feeling activity for you personally. It’s all part of my own journey however and I fully embrace it! God has brought me here to a place of learning more about why I have these extra sensory perceptions and gifts. My path is truly my own and in discovering more about myself I have been given this message. The following poem sums everything up quite well. This is where I find myself and I am eternally grateful to be awake, alive and present for the present that God has given me! Peace, love and light my dear readers….love yourself and one another.

Please check out my 2 books of poetry available now on Amazon at the links below.

Spirituality

Back in the swing of routine

Getting back on the horse after a wonderfully restful 4 days off while my son was here. The 1st day back always gives me trouble yet I’m determined to keep pushing myself forward.

Getting back on that horse

Started working on a new post incorporating this new poem about letting go. I entitled it “Control” and is still another opportunity to recognize my recovering from perfectionism. The Universe will gives you lessons over and over again until you learn from them. This lesson has been a hard learned one for me because for so long on the inside, I kept a white knuckle grip on life while maintaining an Oscar worthy performance smile on my face! Ultimately, I was only kidding and hurting myself.

I love this picture so I borrowed it from a friend of mine’s Instagram page….

Choose wisely

Everyday is another opportunity to continue this work in progress which is the journey to self😊