Spirituality

A heart full of transformation

What an exciting time to be alive my dear readers. I’m continuing to embrace all the shifts, the beauty in abundance along with all the challenges these past months have brought me. Sometimes I feel I’m crawling, at times standing completely still yet at other times it’s as though I’m living in fast forward. Boy can transformation be disorienting and confusing but all the way powerful! I’m reminded of a saying my partner uses when he’s feeling good, “I’m all the way live”. I’m definitely feeling that today, all the way🥰

I’m almost halfway to completing the 40 hours of intern hours towards my certification to be a shamanic healer. I’ve finalized my trip to Idaho in early September where I will get to spend time with my teacher/dear sister Lindsey Luna and perform my final ritual ceremony. I’m so excited my dears! I haven’t taken a solo trip like this to that part of the country in over ten years. It’s going to be epic. Especially since for the past few months I’ve spent most of my time in quiet solitude.

Today thankfully the clouds parted and the rain let up. We’ve been experiencing a tropical storm here, they originally predicted a hurricane but thankfully it was downgraded. I love to get out on my bike every day but due to the storms, I’ve been indoors for the past two days. So, having cabin fever, I was  itching to get out in the fresh air so I headed to my favorite park. I was absolutely blown away by the swarms of dragonflies I rode through! They were EVERYWHERE. Here’s what Google says about the dragonfly….

“In almost every part of the world, the dragonfly symbolizes change, transformation, adaptability, and self-realization. The change that is often referred to has its source in mental and emotional maturity and understanding the deeper meaning of life”.

This is exactly where I’m at my loves. Allowing God to continue to mold me. As usual, Divine timing is perfect. I made some intentions for the full moon asking God to continue guiding me and strengthen my steps, release any doubts as I lite the paper to burn away what no longer serves me so that I may continue to walk my path without any impediments. I dropped it into my coldron and watched it disintegrate🔥

Oh my dragonflies!

Friday night as I sat by the lake gazing up the beautifully enchanting fullness of Lady Luna, my heart started to ache for my partner. I know he will join me once the time is right but I miss him dearly. These past three months apart from each other feel like three years because of all the personal growth I’ve done in order to become a healer. I wrote two poems in his honor, one Friday night under the moon and the other indoors while listening to the thunderstorm rage outside. Both environments are equally representative of how I feel internally without him. Some days, I’m at peace and acceptance with what must be and others I’m turned up and twisted with sadness and longing to be held in his arms.

“Love for sure”
“Full moon love”

I have learned in some intensely dramatic ways that as much as I want to be in control, I most definitely am not. We must be apart for me to fully take on this role and concentrate on opening myself up to all it asks of me. The dragonflies were a sign that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. My spirit guides and my angels are supporting me always. I lean on that everyday and am never disappointed. My blessings are too many to count.  Life is so beautiful and I’m embracing every second of it.

My oldest son Ty turns 19 on Wednesday. I told him the other day how blessed I am that God chose me to be his mother and also how blessed I am to have him chose me as his mother. He looked at me kind of funny, like surprised I said that. I laughed and reassured him that since the day he was born, I’ve been his student. Both of my boys have taught me more about myself and life than any other experience I’ve had. That’s who I remain always, a student of life. Staying open to where I am and where I’m heading. Stay blessed😊

Want to contact me for a tarot card reading, shamanic healing or check out my books on Amazon? Click this one link for all of the information in one place😊

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

My creative process is like a diamond

Today I gave an interview for my dear friend Chrissy-Marie’s (@comealivewithchrissymarie on Instagram) podcast, “The Art of Aliveness” on how to express oneself through creativity under pressure.  We have been cultivating a conversation on how despite the pressures of our current world’s situation with the pandemic of COVID-19, the social and racial unrest pushing for much needed change to systems that have been dysfunctional and broken for some time now added to that the disruption of our daily lives. Despite it all I decide to pick up a pen and write, a paintbrush to paint, put on music and dance. Channeling the energy, emotions and thoughts swirling around me to process it all and make sense of my personal experiences. This has been my lifelong journey. At times like the rest of you my dear readers, I don’t know if I’m coming or going! Through it all, my creative juices keep flowing leading me to express myself and further uncover my authentic self. Allowing my true sprit, my voice to shine through.

There are a lot of myths out there on healing like you have to “become something different” by doing XYZ. Nah…..it’s all about letting go, embracing the present moment for what it is and just being. Becoming quiet, being still and giving myself permission to sing my soul’s language (the name of my second poetry book on Amazon) and to dance to my heart’s song (my third book of poetry on Amazon) has brought me inner peace and joy incomparable to anything external. No book has all the answers, no device can deliver this magic and certainly no person can make us truly happy. The answers all lie within 🧘‍♀️

Since my last post the cosmic energy of the full moon and eclipse brought out some more truths that needed to be realized, released and integrated into my being. Isn’t it wild how life brings forth those practical lessons in such an up close and personal way, giving us no choice but to face them?

I admitted to Chrissy that since January I have felt like the Universe has been molding me to shine like a diamond under incredibly intense pressure. God has been working his magic through Divine timing thus cracking me right open to see so many things that I have been detached from for years. Embracing the change and going with the flow is my part. Growing pains are expected because there is no “perfection in healing”, that’s also a myth my dears. Healing hurts at times and it’s within that pain where our truth and beauty lies. I must admit too that at times I feel like my squirrel friend here, hanging on is what is required in the moment😉

Hang in there

Yet despite the pain, we keep going. We reach highs we never dreamed possible. The pressure builds and boils over to reveal more. That’s been my process. Through it all having tbe patience to see it all to fruition. It may not make sense in the moment yet the wisdom is in trusting that whatever comes up is merely a way to another truth. Collecting these truths, pieces of  my soul are what further fuels  life force energy. What I live, breath and strive to maintain in my essence as a creative woman.

I like to include poems in each post and since I haven’t been able to attend a poetry slam in months, I thought I would record myself reciting my latest poems.

“Boiling over”
“Be still”

The episode we recorded today will be up next month and I will be sure to link it here so you can listen to it my dear readers. In the meantime, please check out my books of poetry on Amazon. They make a wonderful gift if I don’t say so myself🙏💜

As always, much love to all💗

Spirituality

Intentions for love and trust

It’s been two weeks since I sat in my shadow, dove deep while consciously and intentionally releasing some deep wounds I have been carrying for years my dear readers. This week in my apprenticeship for my shamanic healing work, we talked about boundaries both ethically and personally. I realized again just how serious the work of energy healing is and how my approach to my own life has shifted in the past few months.

I reread some of my posts from the start of 2020 when I first set my mind to learning the art of shamanism. It truly does suit my spiritual being and my soul’s purpose. I now understand much more about myself and God’s plan for me. It’s created a very freeing yet grounded place simultaneously. It has had me reconsider however how I interact with others both physically and emotionally.

Actions aka boundary setting

As usual I have been sitting in quiet contemplation and asking Spirit how best to proceed. My main channel has always been my writing, the messages come through clearest when I put pen to paper and allow free flow writing to spill out. At times like this my mind screams at me,”I must know” while my heart, which is always the guiding force whispers, “You already do”. The answer is love. Trust what is being presented and surrender the need to control. Just love Maria, yourself first and others will follow🙏

I have spent many years being numb, deaf to my own inner guidance, my soul’s intentions for me. I’ve written before about this concept but it bears repeating now. We are multidimensional spiritual beings having a human experience. At times in this past year my spirit has guided me to places my human side didn’t feel comfortable embodying yet. Then it’s like a game of tag while my human self plays catch up to my spiritual self. Integrating it all to include the voices of my inner child, ego and higher consciousness or highest self has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Just when I’m ready to let go, Universe says “ok, here’s a test” and throws a big life lesson at me to see which direction I choose to go.

This week my partner and I finally booked his plane ticket here. I then bore witness to how he had to proceed with this major life change, getting his personal issues in order. That is a new boundary for me. I have always wanted to protect him, shield him from pain yet I have realized that he has his own journey to live. The issues he has faced, steps he has taken to heal and help himself astound me. Everything truly does unfold in God’s time and only He can mold us in the ways that are best for us, in that Divine timing.

I’m reminded of what my dear friend and Divine Interventionist Joel Adifon told me when we first started working together in April. He advised me on how much patience I would need to employ, the staring role it would have in my next steps and healing journey. Today I know exactly what he was referring to. Not only am I to remain patient with myself but I must yield to meddling in other’s paths for them to be able to execute their own journey’s and God’s will for them.

I said, “Yes God, I trust you and I love you for the gifts you’ve bestowed upon me. I’m grateful for the strength and understanding you’ve provided for me in order to survive my darkest days”. Then God conspired with the Universe and said, let’s see how much she really does love and trust. Cue the past four months in my life. Losing my job and place of living yet gaining a much deeper sense of self and purpose while finally being reunited with my son Ty. God has also provided a way to keep me financially afloat during these months so that I could see all these changes to fruition. My grateful heart is overflowing with thanks and praise. Thank you God🙏

As we head into this holiday weekend, full moon AND lunar eclipse…I’m again sitting here in the stillness of my heart ready for the next chapter. I’m thankful for all that I have learned, especially the losses for they have showed how strong I have become. Losing things means it’s time to make room for new things, ones that will serve my alignment going forward. I trust in that. The people in my life who support me and love me no matter what. I love them. Mostly, I bow my head in grace for being present to feel all of these blessings and know that the best is still yet to come😉

Love & trust

Please check out my 3 books of poetry available on Amazon at the links below!

Also visit me on YouTube at Maria Teresa Emotional Musings

Spirituality

Big picture

I intended to write this post about the Divine Intervention session I had on Friday but today has been an up and down roller coaster of emotions that I feel needs to be processed properly and takes precedence over that. In short, it was amazing and I can really feel a major shift going on which is probably in part the reason why I feel so emotional today.

Today April 26th is my youngest son Miles’s 15th birthday. Unfortunately I haven’t gotten to see him in almost 4 years. Parent alienation is a real and terrible thing. I have a very close and awesome relationship with my oldest son Tyler, Ty we affectionately call him. Ty lives with his grandparents, my ex-husband’s parents and they are very good to him. Ty moved out when he was 16 because he couldn’t stand living under my ex-husband’s thumb any longer. They always butted heads and he was actually very mean to Ty, like cruel even. I could never understand it being our firstborn why he treated him so poorly. I observed a jealousy he harbored against him early on even. I was a stay at home mother and Ty and I have always been super close.

This post is about Miles however. My boys are almost 4 years apart and I always refer to him as my sunshine🌞 and my snuggle bunny! He came into this world so happy, full of life with dimples highlighting his big smile and a great giggling laugh😂 Lately and because of our separation unfortunately Ty is the only person who gives me updates on his brother’s wellbeing. My ex has refused to speak to me for over 6 years now. It’s so ignorant and petty, trying to erase me because he’s hurt still that I wanted a divorce. He must be because to have moved on and having two new children with his current partner still has him apparently bitter towards me. He still thinks having nothing to do with me is the best option. He is oblivious to the fact he is actively hurting my boys, our boys. Ty has told me he can’t understand why his father had two more children and that they were the exact reason he moved out at 16.

Ty has told me Miles is becoming more and more angry. Especially now with our current lockdown and quarantine situation, he has to participate in long distance schooling and doesn’t see his friends. He is stuck in a house with a two year old and a 10 month old daily. His father hardly pays him any attention because the little ones demand so much of his time and because his mind has been poisoned to believe lies about his mother. Miles hasn’t spoken to me on his own in over three years. He will only talk to me when he’s with Ty at their grandparents house. I write hand written letters to him all the time because I have been blocked from social media and he has asked Ty to not give me his cell number.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t completely see and understand why he is so angry. His father and I divorced when he was only 6. I needed to recreate my life after all the trauma I endured in the state we were living in and I made the hardest decision of my life to move very far away to another region of the country to do it. In the beginning we would talk all the time, video chat and I would make yearly trips back to visit. In the last four years my finances have been terrible and I can’t afford the trip. I get it he feels abandoned. He blames me because that’s what he hears from his father. At 15, he lacks the emotional maturity and life experiences that Ty has at almost 19 and living on his own for almost 3 years. Living with his grandparents just started 7 months ago. Before that his girlfriend’s mother let him live with them. The lack of communication on my ex-husband’s side towards me has had me in the dark and unaware if most of these details until recently.

I should mention too that from 2017 up until Christmas of 2019 I had zero communication with either of my sons. That was a very dark and depressing time for me. I finally reached out to my ex brother in-law and begged him to give me my ex-husband’s phone number. I called but he refused to answer. I asked my sister to reach out and get a message to Ty. As soon as Ty knew I cared and was looking for him, he reached out via social media. It was the best Christmas present I could ever get!

Since Ty and I have reconnected, I have been patiently waiting for Miles to come around but from what Ty tells me poor Miles’s is getting more and more angry. He doesn’t want to interact with Ty even much anymore and they were so incredibly close during and after the divorce. I know it hurts Ty and today everything came to a boiling point .

It was pouring raining there today. Ty rode 6 miles on his bike to his father’s house with the birthday card I sent, a gift card from me, a letter I had written a month ago (I’m not allowed(according to him, not court appointed to have my ex-husband’s address , therefore everything must be mailed to his parents house. Let me state here too that I share 50% custody of my boys as is stated in our divorce decree) and $40 in cash he was giving to his brother for his birthday. Miles refused to come outside and told Ty he didn’t want anything from me. When Ty called he was really upset. He told me, “Mom, I have to move Miles out of Dad’s.” We spoke at length about what I believe Miles is going through at 15, taking into account his current living situation and being shutoff from his mother. I told Ty how proud I am of him for attempting to deliver the gifts. I told him he is being the bigger person, with so much emotional intelligence for a young man and being the man I raised him to always be…. kind, considerate and compassionate towards others, especially family.

I went for a twelve mile run after hearing all of this. The first long distance run I’ve taken since before the shutdown. I love the park near my house because it has a huge lake and a beautiful ten mile path looping around it just south east of Dallas. Running in general clears my head and is how I processed my divorce 10 years ago. Running near water soothes my soul💙

View from a bridge

When I run I usually talk with God. Sometimes out loud depending on if I’m alone on the path but mostly in my head. This afternoon I asked God to touch Miles’s heart and allow him to feel my love for him and his brother’s love too. Ty was really upset and thought for sure he wouldn’t change his mind when I told him I had a feeling he would. I definitely didn’t expect him to do a 180 turn around today, but that’s exactly what happened! Thank you God🙏 Miles agreed to meet him halfway so he could get his gifts.

Here’s a picture from the very last birthday we actually spent together, 9 years ago when he was turning 6🎉

Happy birthday Miles🎉

Here’s a picture Ty took and shared with me from over the summer. This shot showcases Miles’s goofball personality 😂

Miles is the ultimate gamer🎮

To sum up today I will share a painting and a poem I finished yesterday. It’s interesting how both were started on Friday night before any of this happened. I think my mind must have been channeling it and trying to process it beforehand. I am so grateful for my creative outlets that help me make sense of my big giant heart💖

Can’t see the forest for the trees🎨
Big picture

I now have 2 books of poetry available on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Musings-Maria-Pratico/dp/1798567504/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=%22emotional+musings%22&qid=1587010926&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087H7D1VS/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=Emotional+Musings&qid=1587663034&sr=8-3

Spirituality

Mother Nature’s daughter

Yesterday was my day off, it was 70 degrees out and the sunshine was glorious! I felt like singing, I did too for a bit, while I was running😉 Completed a 10 mile run by the closest and my most favorite body of water. Mother Nature was showing off yesterday in my humble opinion. God I love Mother Earth so dearly and feel like being out in nature is medicine for my soul💚

Like a booster shot😉
Being near water is my oasis
Trees are my friends, I speak to them

I love it when it’s clear enough to see both the sun and moon up in that bright blue sky. We have had increasingly rainy weather here in Dallas lately which added to the good vibes I was absorbing while I was outdoors for hours yesterday.

Hi there Mr. Sun😎
Why hello there Ms. Moon🌚

Today however I am crashing. I definitely have a tendency to run myself down when the energy I pick up outdoors revs me up! Plus, all the mental energy I spent, let me remind you my dear readers about the 14 hours I spent getting the interview article I am featured in compiled and sent off🤪 I am feeling shadow creeping in. Observing this. Allowing it. Sitting with it. This is my humanness and is completely normal. The fallout from the high. We exist in the in between and the shades of gray. Watching myself between these 2 spaces each a different polarity. Today I will be quiet and show myself grace. I am being compassionate with myself. This is balance ⚖ A continuous work in progress for me.

For my Nana

Lastly, last evening while I was gazing up at Ms. Moon lovingly I had another vision. My Nana who passed away 14 years ago this St. Patrick’s Day and is my most communicative spirit guide started talking with me in the most heart warming of ways. Using the moon as a backdrop like a movie screen, she started flashing some of my favorite memories in pictures. First was a solo portrait of her bright shiny and smiling face cast down upon me. Up second was an old family picture of us outside of the restraunt we ate at after her funeral service, followed by pictures of she and I. It reminded me of when I was much younger and my parents would play a slideshow on our refrigerator for my sister and I. Like every vision previously, my mouth hung open, eyes wide and fixated on the amazing beauty I was witnessing and Nana was sharing with me🥰

You must understand my dears that my Nana has the most generous and sweet of spirits. My Mom always tells me how much I remind her of her mother. It always feels like one of Nana’s hugs when she tells me that. I get those super warm fuzzies whenever we talk about her. It’s 100% true that the more I ask for signs and communication from my guides during meditation, the more they deliver. In the most humorous and entertaining of ways! Wouldn’t you, existing in pure bliss out there in our Universe? I continue to see the white orbs, hundreds of them floating through the sky whenever I’m outdoors. It’s easiest to see them when it’s a clear say but if I focus my eyes, I can see them on cloudy days too.

This life I have been blessed with is so humbling and magnificent sometimes, I am awe struck. Speechless with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for rising each day and laying my head down at the end of each day, like a ride on the ferris wheel. For that is what life is my dear reader’s….what a ride indeed🎡