Healing, Mental health, Spirituality

The pursuit of happiness

There are so many analogies that come to mind when I think of the phrase, “the pursuit of happiness”. Our culture breeds this idea that it’s a thing to find that we somehow lost, an item to buy, a type of thing to possess that is outside of ourselves or that another person will be the magic ingredient to solve all of our worries and problems. I believe through the consumerism and entertainment culture we have screaming at us 24/7 that we’re programmed to believe we aren’t happy. What does it mean to be happy?

My dear readers, I believe happiness is 100% an inside job and the truth is that we aren’t going to feel perpetual happiness 100% of the time. Being human means that we have a wide array of feelings and emotions that alert us to what our body needs in each moment. Attending to each is sometimes a challenge, especially in our fast paced society yet taking the time to truly do so has amazing and priceless benefits.

We are coming up on a year since the beginning of the pandemic that changed our entire world. I’m incredibly grateful for the extended time and opportunity to work on myself and heal. Feeling is so very healing yet we must allow ourselves to truly feel all of it, the complete human experience doesn’t come with just the good vibes my dears. Since my Dad has passed and I have been separated from my partner, I am realizing more and more how precious we are to one another. My partner serves as the most clear of mirrors and our connection allows me to see myself fully. Lately, some hard truths rose to the surface that my ego needed to hear but didn’t enjoy hearing. I’ve changed every aspect of my life for the betterment of my own soul. Awesome for me yet he admitted to not knowing who I am anymore, that he needs to get to know and fall in love with me again. I must allow him time and space in which to do this. We are each others one true love and through acceptance of one another, I believe our love will get us through.

Life is like a freshly squeezed glass of orange juice with the juiciest bits all mixed in, not merely on top but sprinkled in throughout. We must dig deep at times to feel the most of what life is teaching us. Using the juice analogy, each container tells us to shake before we pour so we get the best of its offering into each glass. Life shakes us up repeatedly and at times it’s easy to feel all mixed up. The truth is happiness is always available should we choose to feel it. However it’s perfectly normal to not feel happy all the damn time!! Being…..just being, tapping into my skills of observation allows me to investigate all of my feelings through all of my senses. For a women who feels deeply and is acutely sensitive this can be extremely challenging. I sometimes wish I had an off switch and could just feel and process me, not everyone else around me. As an open psychic channel, my soul asked to be reincarnated this way yet it’s hard explaining this fact to others unless they have experience with it.

From the inception of this blog, Emotional Musings has served as a testimony to what life is like for me in recovery from life long dissociation and trauma. I’m an empath, an open psychic channel, a trauma survivor, a suicide survivor, a divorced mother diagnosed with CPTSD who searched for answers to find peace and healing to discover that all of my sensibilities allow me to follow my soul’s purpose and path to becoming a master shaman. God set me with all the sense settings on high and He gifted me with being able to write poems that can articulate the abundance of feelings I feel all the time.

These are my latest lessons in life that are expressed through poetry. This last full moon was a big one for me in terms of looking within the shadows to release what no longer was serving me. Healing hurts my dears and this past week I have felt every feeling and emotion there is. I’m exhausted, elated, sad, grateful and yes, happy. I’m happy to be alive and experience all of life in the skin I’m in! Tomorrow I am going to experience float therapy which I have read rave reviews about. I already know that this therapeutic experience will rejuvenate and refresh my spirit returning me to a place of balance and harmony.

Thank you so much @myjourney_sda for allowing me to share my testimony of survival to “Triumphing over Trauma”. We are all in this together, sharing our journey, challenges and gifts. We rise as one. Much love to you all ❤

Stay true to YOU
“Love is the Medicine”

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
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Healing, Mental health, personal development, Spirituality

Full Moon Fearlessness and Forgiveness

The first full moon of 2021 is upon us dear readers, they call this one a Wolf Moon, which refers to our Native American cultures and their interpretations of the sky’s seasons. Personally, I like to think of this time as a reflection upon my own instincts, pure nature, what needs to be  affirmed, embraced and released. Hello, shadow self and soul integrating healing. At this time I’m observing my need to be forgiving of myself and fearless in my actions moving forward.

And so it is

Embracing both light and shadow aspects isn’t an easy task. It’s a part of my walk as a shaman on the path and how I dance ever more closely with Spirit. Last evening, I was expecting my partner to return from a brief visit back to Dallas when I received word he would be delayed due to the fact he misplaced his ID. Immediately, I turned to my guides and my cards for advice. They assured me that this was just a small delay, the work we have done as a couple has been solidified and he will return. It’s my time to take the pressure off of myself, lay down my sword and cease fighting myself. Being gentle with my being is something that requires patience and practice.

Observing my natural tendency to carry the weight of the world upon my shoulders and hold onto what I perceive as control blocks me from accepting what is while entertaining an uncomfortable level of fear. This affects my self confidence, decision making and causes me to feel fear in moving forward. I believe these cycles are so vital in unraveling our conditioning, embracing more selflove and learning to stay in a more neutral position when I’m viewing myself. Gentleness and kindness foster strength where as harshness and fear create weakness. I embrace all of this as a promise to myself along this healing journey as I continue to liberate my soul. Integration of all my pieces creates balance and harmony. The full moon creates a wonderful opportunity for this.

Mark Nepo writes that, “when we bare our inwardness fully, exposing our strengths and frailties alike, we discover a kinship in all living things….the mystery of being authentic is the only thing that reveals to us our kinship with life”. Being real with myself and others allows me to shine my inwards outwardly. For a woman who spent years hiding, confused and scared of herself for being different and “the weird one”, this speaks to me on so many levels! I don’t need to hide or beat myself up, I get who I am because I accept me. No one else can do this for me and when I can fully be me my dear readers, it gives you permission to fully be you! No more hiding my dear ones, be the best you because our world needs us all.

Dance to your hearts song

This leads me to share with you where I was on Monday. After a freedom feeling bike ride, I went out on my patio, put on some music and danced. Dance makes me feel most alive and is how I cultivate my happy vibes. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal my loves, go out and get it, make your own fun! Happiness and freedom will be yours!

“Good Feeling” by Flo Rida
Free your soul by healing yourself

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Consciousness, Healing, Mental health, personal development, Spirituality

I AM Love Eternal

Over this past year, we all as a collective have faced many challenges. They say character is shaped by how we each handle the challenges we face in life. My own life experiences deliver the greatest lessons. The people I encounter and engage with serve as my best teachers. I believe in the power we each hold inside our hearts to be the best instrument for direction in life. Steven D. Farmer, a shaman that I admire highly, writes about love in this way:

“All wounds stem from the illusion of separation from Source and all of Creation. The route of healing this wound is through cultivating love and compassion for every being on this planet, including yourself. Not a bland standard of unquestioned acceptance, but a heartfelt sense of profound relatedness to whatever you perceive as apart from yourself. True compassion requires not only the feeling of warmth that emanates when you are in touch with your heart center, but in acts of kindness even if this simply means being a fully attentive listener. Respect the fact that your heart is a giver, putting out electrical energy and a receiver, drawing in magnetic energy. These energies are best sensed by attending to the steady flow of your breathing while also noticing your heart area. Righteousness, fear, anger and judgement are some common ways that block your natural desire to love. Forgiveness is not only letting go of judgement, but also seeing through the illusion that you and All-That-Is are separate. Look about you and inside you, and do your best to love whatever you see”.

WOW, I just love that and when I first read it in his book entitled, “Earth Magic” I could feel soul shivers throughout my entire body! We are all interconnected in this web of energy that runs throughout the entire Universe. What I do unto others, I do to myself. All living things require love to exist in harmony and balance. As a shaman, this is a passage I share during my healing sessions. I believe in the power of our hearts, minds and souls interacting with the energy of love for the most profound healing. I write often that I believe love to be the greatest untapped superpower there is. We all have the ability to love, we are made from and of it. We are the Light. My prayer is that each and everyone of us begins to investigate our own soul, engage in loving ourselves for this is what will create change in our world.

Light of Love

Each and everyone of you my dear readers is the I AM of love eternal. Discovering this within myself has changed my life and is what drives me to write, heal and teach others about the beauty life holds for all of us. No matter what you look like, believe in, how much money you have, who you love or any other label this world can slap upon you, you are first and foremost LOVE.

Today my heart is so happy and filled with immense peace because my partner of seven years is arriving here in Florida after a long 6 months of living apart! I have learned so many lessons, uncovered many revelations about myself and experienced innumerable ah-ha moments during his absense in my daily life. I noticed this week while I was preparing for his arrival that there is still an amount of emotion locked inside that I have reserved, not allowing myself to feel fully from my Dad’s passing, until I am in his arms. As an intuitive empath, my own emotions are so deep. Fully feeling them is still a scary proposition for me. There’s definitely a part of me that needs to collapse in his arms and sob.

My mind, body and soul are rejoicing in celebration for his upcoming arrival tonight! I honor his heart and our love bond in these poems. He is my best friend, my greatest companion and the man I love most in the world. I have never felt this way about another human being and I believe I never will again. They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and in many ways that has become a fact for me. I have embraced so many aspects of self in his absence, becoming a master shaman and losing my Dad, I feel like a completely different woman today. My heart sings loudly feeling his presence is nearing.

Music of my soul

I calculated that over 4,000 hours have passed since I last saw his handsome face in August for his birthday when I surprised him in Dallas. Each moment has served so many feelings, so many colors painted, songs I both laughed and cried to while dancing….each little bit.

Every. Minute. Every. Hour. Every. Day.

His love enraptures my entire being, crashing into me like a tidal wave. I fell hard and fast upon our first encounter when a mutual friend introduced us. I was just one year into my divorce then and wasn’t looking to get into a relationship. I have always believed that’s when love hits you, crashes into you, when you are least expecting it. We became friends first which was important to me. I remember the day I told him that I loved him like it was yesterday. He didn’t say it back, not at first. He was so overwhelmed by the fact that he had never truly known the kind of love we share and didn’t know what to do with me. He admitted to not being good at love. It has taken us years of healing, as individuals and as a couple to fully embrace our special bond that has lasted lifetimes. I have experienced many visions of our souls past lives together. In many of them he was my master, my teacher and I his apprentice. In this lifetime, I am the master and he my apprentice.

Crashing into my soul with love

I pulled a bunch of very prolific tarot cards this morning all pointing to completion, dreams becoming reality and trust. I have worked really hard on myself in these 6 months. I will continue to do the inner work necessary because I am compelled by soul. I’m an deep, old and noble soul. For me, this is the most humbling way to be seen in the world and an honor. I value the lessons, the steps taken through both pain and bliss, because each and every moment serves as another thread to the tapestry my life is. I told a dear soul sister of mine this today and then wrote this poem.

Soul shining love and light for all

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Healing, Mental health, personal development, Spirituality

Learning to match my nature to nature

Understandably my dear readers, there is unsettled chaos in our world. The events unfolding in the United States are a result of our broken system. The behavior of the current leadership is abhorrent and filled with hatred, jealousy and divisiveness. At some level, our world is always experiencing chaos whether on a grand scale or a more subdued level. What I am focused on is the wellbeing of myself and others. Healing from the human condition has always fascinated me with curiosity and wonder. Please be mindful of what you are consuming and how it can trigger and affect your delicate emotions and internal rhythm. At this time, learning how to center and ground yourself is vital.

How to find alignment

Place one hand over your heart and the other on your belly. Now take a deep breath into your belly through your nose counting to five, observing how your hand will rise. Hold it for five counts and then exhale through your mouth for five counts. I practice this before meditation and I usually repeat it five to seven times. This is circular breathing and helps bring you into awareness of your body. I like to close my eyes and bring a place in nature I find most sacred to mind, for me that is the beach. I allow my imagination to draw in the many sounds, sights and smells all around me. Then I repeat these two mantras, my poems, over and over again until I feel myself fully settled and peaceful. I invite you to practice this as often and for as long as you feel guided to internally my dear readers. I believe this practice can help you live a more heart centered existence.

What I use in my healing sessions for grounding

So often it’s easy to find ourselves triggered by what’s happening around us or within our relationships. Intense emotions can leave us feeling sad, angry, helpless, useless etc. etc. My journey of healing the trauma I have experienced has shown me that my self care is priority number one. Feelings are inevitable please allow yourself the grace in which to feel them. Then tend to them and decide how best to respond to yours from a loving place for we all deserve love. When we practice selfcare, we are honoring our ancestors who didn’t know how to care for their own health and healing in the many ways we are afforded to today. We are celebrating their many sacrifices for the lives we live today.

Joseph Campbell said, ” The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature”. I have a picture of this quote over a human heart on my altar to remind me to focus on this everyday. When we are attuned to our own authentic spirit and nature, we can make better choices in life for not only ourselves but for those around us. Getting out in nature is the best way to breathe and reconnect with our nature. Air, taking our first breath is the first element we take communion with upon being born into this life. Take notice of your own breath and how easily or labored it is. Being mindful of our basic needs, breathing and hydration will drastically improve your wellbeing my dear ones. Drink plenty of water. The key is to drink half of your own body weight every day to stay properly hydrated and replenished.

Life goals

These are my most recent poems that I would like to share. We can all be dancers in the light of our beings and feel the flow of the Universe. The Sun of life surrounds each and everyone of us. Feel into your heart, live by your soul’s spirit and embody the light of love you find there. If your curious about my shamanic healing sessions and working with me, please like and comment on this post. I love sharing how I am “Triumphing over Trauma” and living a life of purpose and heart centered love. It’s available to us all. Namaste my dear readers.

Feel that life giving energy in the Sun🌞

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Mental health, Spirituality

What’s your word for 2020?

This is my close out post for 2020 my dear readers. I want to ask you what word highlights your 2020? This question came to me while I was having a solo dance party in my room. Music and dance is my healing balm, the salve my heart needs to heal my soul. What helps heal your soul my dear? Music electrifies the beat and provides the rhythm that allows me to groove, to feel the most free and 100% ALIVE in my body! I want to leave you with a couple of dance videos because that is my soul. I have studied and practiced dance for most of my life, now I dance for fun and to heal! Today my dear Nana would’ve turned 100 years old. She is my guardian angel now and has been for almost sixteen years. She is dancing through me tonight.

So as we close out this year, I’m curious what word you can tag to 2020? My word is beautiful. I know many don’t see this in its totality when we think about this year. The big picture for me is that no matter what, I have learned from and leaned into the pain. I have embraced the change. I walked through all of it with my heart full of love. I made the absolute most of the situations I found myself in. Losing things and people and also gaining inner wisdom and peace.

Was this year easy? Hell no! Did it hurt like hell, YES! I am much better for it all as this year is at it’s end. I keep saying this and it rings so true for me, the new relationship I have with my Dad now that he’s on the other side is strangely beautiful. His presence grounds me in strength within the invisible world of Spirit. Missing my life partner being in my world daily has proven to me how damn strong I am. My soul’s journey continues. I am so grateful for all the love I have been blessed with.

“Word Up” by Cameo

I am an old and noble soul. I embrace every aspect of life because each part of this journey makes me ALIVE! I AM the hurt, the elation of love, exciting experiences, heartbreak, sadness, innocence, curiosity, failure, pain, wisdom and so much joy and love wrapped up with inner peace. It’s all available, a kaleidoscope of feelings that lies inside each of us. Learning how to bend without breaking is the journey. Remaining a mountain of strength amongst the chaos. You can too my dears, I am living proof that we can and do heal. I believe in each and every one of you. I am grateful for each one of you on this journey with me. I love each and every one of you. You are my teachers and my guides. We are soul’s reflections within each other as we walk together. We can all be birds. My Dad shows up every day as one. Find your inner bird and be free!

Truth bomb
“Birds” by Coldplay

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9