Healing, relationships, Spirituality

The yin of love

Practicing the art of patience my dear readers in a world that thrives in constant and perpetual motion is a tall order most days. This past week I had the opportunity to take a yin yoga class that allowed me to go completely inwards, shut off my mind and be in my heart, which was highly uncomfortable at first. Through connecting with my breath I was able to release and surrender to the uncomfortability and let go absolutely. The sacred medicine of my soul can then fill my being, restoring me to a place of balanced harmony and truth. I left the class humming. Exercises like this remind me how love is always available should I choose to allow it.

The Universe is reshaping the collective in a deep way right now with the planetary alignment, allowing us to rewrite our stories from a much more empowered space of unconditional love. Divine feminine energy continues to rise and specifically is focusing on our male counterparts. Men in our society have been conditioned to believe that “being strong” means acting stoic and that crying or expressing emotion is weak. My oldest son once asked me, “Mom why do we have to feel?” I responded to him as I do my own thoughts on the subject. To feel is human. Emotions are energy is motion alerting us to what our body needs. How do we tackle the tough ones? Developing a practice of patience that gathers courage and allows us to release, express and process the lessons behind the feelings. This is the main message now that spirit is continually teaching me.

The focus of this blog is to muse on emotions. Today is my first Father’s Day without my Dad in physical form. However, his presence is strongly with me, surrounding me in spirit and I am so grateful for the ability to connect with him in a way that is more intuitive for me. Extra sensory sensitivities and perceptions were the parts of me I ran from, hid, denied and attempted to kill off. Now I embrace who I am with gratitude and unconditional love. I fill my cup as often as I can with what I need to continue the flow of love.

Fill your cup with love

My heart is so full of love today, as I lay next to my soul mate and best friend reunited physically, emotionally and spiritually. All the work that I have put into this past year has paid off in the most priceless of ways. Accepting this gift is the dividend from that soul searching work.

Love’s magical medicine

Yesterday we spent the entire day at the beach, something I adore doing, with the added bonus of live music! My dear readers know how much I love to dance. Being able to groove with my man had my heart overflowing! Barry White’s “You’re The First, The Last, My Everything” is the song he always serenades me with at karaoke. Dancing to it made our time apart worth every tear I shed while missing his closeness.

Beach dancing with a live DJ

I’m a woman with a lot more yang (masculine energy) than yin (female energy) and I can admit to having a hard time allowing myself to slow down, be gentle, receive and be soft. From the start of this year, these past six months has been an intentional process of opening my heart wider, showing the vulnerability which allows me to view the world through the lense of more compassion, empathy and kindness. First towards myself and then towards others I engage with. We are spiritual beings in human form. To feel is human, to overthink is natural and yes at times we feel apart from one another, succumbing to worry and fear. This is our greatest opportunity for the lesson which choosing love teaches us my dear readers. In the moments where we are most confused, most suffering, disconnected and fearful. Recognizing that all of that is an illusion what is real is love. What will save, heal and bring us closer to our goals is simply love. These poems highlight this and are channeled through spirit, through the Master spirits among us.

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 5 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

Shamanic healing

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Spirituality

Soul Medicine, a collection of poetry

My dear readers, I’m so grateful to have met so many wonderful writers on this platform. One in particular has illuminated a soul reflection that runs deep within my being. Ace of https://fearlessfreesoul.com and I connected organically because of our similar writing styles and the way we view the world. Leading with our hearts, full of love and rejecting fear, our souls dance a duet that has been born in the cosmos and aligned divinely in this life at this moment. Thank you so much Ace for being a brilliant example of authenticity, pure love and light. Your divine essence shines through your words. It’s an honor to call you my sister and my friend.

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 5 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 1

My dear readers, I have commenced building the manuscript for my fifth book of poetry entitled “My Soul’s Journey”. I’m dedicating this one to my Dad since all of the 87 poems were written after his death and honor the number of years he spent on the Earth in physical form. The number five symbolizes change and while writing this book I have embarked upon the most amazing change and chapter of my own journey! Healing both myself and others through the art of shamanism allows everything I have intuitively known and felt fall into place. My life now after 43 years, finally makes sense! The number forty-three symbolizes success in all areas of life, the kind achieved through hard work, strong will and patience that comes with a great understanding, knowledge and nobility. Life presents us many opportunities to learn and elevate our soul through each moment to see how ALL of it serves for our highest good and greatest healing.This is my time and I am here to claim every ounce of joy, inner peace and tremendous love for life!

This month I have been focusing on my Sacral chakra, healing old wounds left by emotional upheaval and past trauma. Recently I found myself triggered by an assignment for the course in sound healing I was taking. It helped me to realize that I was attempting once again to prove something, validate my worth and feel good enough. After tapping into my intuition and coming to terms with the intention for seeking the certification in the first place, I had an ah-ha moment realizing that continuing with the course was not going to serve my best interest. This was a life lesson shining light upon an mindset that no longer fits who I am today and what I believe. This is an old tape playing an offbeat tune. Hitting eject, I asked myself why was I taking the course in the first place? What was this course going to add to my life?

Celebration of the colors and functions of the chakra system

There are a few factors that contributed to my final decision. My own attention to focus in and stay engaged with an online course for sound was a major challenge because I found the platform itself to be boring. Mainly however it was what the instructor said to me when I told him his course wasn’t for me that proved to me I had made the right decision. He accused me of not being able to provide a therapeutic environment because of my own emotional instability after the assignment was questioned. Whether it was a communication breakdown or misunderstanding, what became apparently clear to me was that questioning his assumed authority triggered his own ego and displayed a character defect that resulted in a judgement of a student. Has no one dropped his course before or not wanted to continue? That’s not how I operate as a teacher. I conduct myself as a guide for each of my student’s journey while learning the art of shamanism. Holistic healing is an intuitive art, whether in sound, art, energy, or crystals etc. It shouldn’t be based on financial gain. My intention is each individuals highest good and healing for their unique journey. It became completely clear we weren’t on the same page and that’s OK. Not everybody is my flavor nor I their cup of tea. Honestly, I felt right away from watching his videos that I couldn’t learn from him. My first thought was to react to his opinion of me and then my higher self, my soul whom I call Serena, stepped forward and reminded me I don’t need to prove my journey to anyone. I’m no longer interested in approval or acceptance from others. Doubting my own gifts is an old mindset pattern and no certification is necessary for me to do what I intuitively do in shamanic sessions. Sound healing is already a part of what I do naturally. I am determined to find another resource for knowledge of what I want to learn. I wrote a reactionary email and then just as quick as I wrote it, deleted it. Moving on.

What became crystal clear is that for all of my life, I wasn’t the one accepting me. I was doubting my own worth, gifts and power which blocked trust, acceptance and love of myself. I blindly believed the opinions and judgments of others. Awakening has created radical shifts that allow me to question what truly is best for me while healing and recognizing my authentic voice over these past two years. This is an ongoing cycle of integration as I forgive, surrender, release and accept, finally I’m celebrating all the pieces of me! I tell my clients that “we can’t outsource love, we must each fill our own cup of happiness, inner peace and love”. My own words rang like a bell in my head!

Locked in and loving myself

Living as an open psychic channel for Spirit has created gaps in my life where I felt completely lost for many years. Self medicating through addiction to substances and maladaptive coping behaviors further distanced my soul from my being. It felt like I was on a permanent vacation from life, muted and numb. Existing behind a wall of my own creation. I was an award winning actress at what I thought “normal” looked like and that was the mask I wore for thirty-five years. These t-shirts suit me to a T. This poem sums it all up beautifully.

Dressed by soul

Nowadays I lean into what allows me to feel free and happy. I express this best through movement, dance, yoga, painting and of course my writing. Here are my latest video shorts to the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I dare you not to smile!

Jazz Happy
Tap Happy

The final thought on this is that this emotional experience has taught me that no one but me needs to accept me! There’s no more hiding, trying to be someone else or denying the rainbow unicorn I am. My purpose is to shine love and light through my soul. Today I feel happy knowing this in my heart. I hope I made you smile!

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, personal development, Spirituality

New Beginnings, My Dance with Spirit

The saying, “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have” is singing through my mind as I compose this post my dear readers. It’s been two weeks since I made the hardest choice in my life to end the relationship with a man I know is my true love and soul mate. The strength, power and sheer freedom I have experienced is more than I can accurately articulate into words! I’m dancing in the sunlight of my spirit which further awakens depths within my soul that are new and exciting! I’m unleashing myself into the fires of creativity with passion for whatever is to come. The energy I feel is electric and empowering as the love vibration rises to new heights!

April is here and with it comes a freshness that has me skipping along my path as it unfolds. Ideas are springing forth with music and color bursting into light as I express myself by writing, dancing and the ritualistic practices of the shaman warrior I am. I’m about to embark upon a one year sound therapy certification and I’m thrilled to learn more about the therapeutic healing that has changed so much for my sensitive being. I regularly use different sound frequencies when I meditate to heal, align and balance the seven main chakras in the body. I love to learn and welcome all opportunities to extend my knowledge in this area. I’m also taking part in a clinic for stand up paddle boarding at the local beach I frequently ride my bike to. I first tried the sport five years ago and fell in love with it. It aligns perfectly with my yoga and ballet practice plus the added enjoyment of being on the water.

God’s continuous love has me looking up with so much gratitude for this soul journey

I’ve started adhering to nudges from the Universe to unplug from technology more regularly. I’d much rather keep my face in nature’s beauty or in a book lately. Rereading some of my favorites from Maya Angelou and new books like “How To Do The Work” by Dr. Nicole La Pera aka “the holistic psychologist” on Instagram is about how to reconnect with your authentic self and heal as the powerfully magical beings we are. I’ve been following her and adding many of the techniques she shares on social media into my healing practices for two years now. Life continues to open up possibilities to me that I never thought possible to experience before and I am ready to live life as the gift it is! Living is an art and I am the painter of my own masterpiece. So are you my dear readers, be an original because our world needs you!

We are all more than “Smile and Be Pretty”
Da LA Soul’s “Me, Myself & I

Along with the new classes I’ll be taking, I booked a long anticipated trip up to Rhode Island to see my two boys. I haven’t been “home” (I resided there for 13 years) in almost 5 years and I am beyond excited to reconnect with my boys, dear friends and the place that holds many memories for me. Some of them are painful and traumatic yet I know I’m strong enough now to face them and take back the power I left in that place when I felt broken and empty of spirit. I moved away in 2013 to heal from a painful divorce that I initiated, a destructive pattern of abusing myself with drugs and alcohol and to create a fresh start in life. That’s when I moved here to my family’s second home in South Florida. A few months after moving here and one year after my divorce, I met my ex partner, through mutual friends. The past eight years has been a climb, back to sanity and wholeness. Honestly, the me I am now is the most alive and whole I have ever felt in all my life!

Becoming Me

I’m unafraid and finished with hiding who I really am. The confusion has vanished, an amnesia of sorts, as I awaken every day more excited than before for what the day holds. Remaining curious, inquisitive and open for the mysteries that await me. My creative passion drives me and when something comes to my mind, I do it! Like this video, I bust loose and shake off everything that doesn’t serve my highest good and healing.

“Bustin Loose”
Shake off what no longer serves my dear ones ❤
This book has been a part of my daily practice of reflection for years now
Standing I my power
Feeling everything
Hard truths
Soul Journey
Listen to your Soul Cry

Lastly my dear readers, I will leave you with a short video, a glimpse into the healing that I practice and share with my clients through crystals, the wisdom of tarot and the Light powered energy that is Divinely provided by Spirit.

Healing magic bathed in Full Moon brilliance

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Mental health, Spirituality

The pursuit of happiness

There are so many analogies that come to mind when I think of the phrase, “the pursuit of happiness”. Our culture breeds this idea that it’s a thing to find that we somehow lost, an item to buy, a type of thing to possess that is outside of ourselves or that another person will be the magic ingredient to solve all of our worries and problems. I believe through the consumerism and entertainment culture we have screaming at us 24/7 that we’re programmed to believe we aren’t happy. What does it mean to be happy?

My dear readers, I believe happiness is 100% an inside job and the truth is that we aren’t going to feel perpetual happiness 100% of the time. Being human means that we have a wide array of feelings and emotions that alert us to what our body needs in each moment. Attending to each is sometimes a challenge, especially in our fast paced society yet taking the time to truly do so has amazing and priceless benefits.

We are coming up on a year since the beginning of the pandemic that changed our entire world. I’m incredibly grateful for the extended time and opportunity to work on myself and heal. Feeling is so very healing yet we must allow ourselves to truly feel all of it, the complete human experience doesn’t come with just the good vibes my dears. Since my Dad has passed and I have been separated from my partner, I am realizing more and more how precious we are to one another. My partner serves as the most clear of mirrors and our connection allows me to see myself fully. Lately, some hard truths rose to the surface that my ego needed to hear but didn’t enjoy hearing. I’ve changed every aspect of my life for the betterment of my own soul. Awesome for me yet he admitted to not knowing who I am anymore, that he needs to get to know and fall in love with me again. I must allow him time and space in which to do this. We are each others one true love and through acceptance of one another, I believe our love will get us through.

Life is like a freshly squeezed glass of orange juice with the juiciest bits all mixed in, not merely on top but sprinkled in throughout. We must dig deep at times to feel the most of what life is teaching us. Using the juice analogy, each container tells us to shake before we pour so we get the best of its offering into each glass. Life shakes us up repeatedly and at times it’s easy to feel all mixed up. The truth is happiness is always available should we choose to feel it. However it’s perfectly normal to not feel happy all the damn time!! Being…..just being, tapping into my skills of observation allows me to investigate all of my feelings through all of my senses. For a women who feels deeply and is acutely sensitive this can be extremely challenging. I sometimes wish I had an off switch and could just feel and process me, not everyone else around me. As an open psychic channel, my soul asked to be reincarnated this way yet it’s hard explaining this fact to others unless they have experience with it.

From the inception of this blog, Emotional Musings has served as a testimony to what life is like for me in recovery from life long dissociation and trauma. I’m an empath, an open psychic channel, a trauma survivor, a suicide survivor, a divorced mother diagnosed with CPTSD who searched for answers to find peace and healing to discover that all of my sensibilities allow me to follow my soul’s purpose and path to becoming a master shaman. God set me with all the sense settings on high and He gifted me with being able to write poems that can articulate the abundance of feelings I feel all the time.

These are my latest lessons in life that are expressed through poetry. This last full moon was a big one for me in terms of looking within the shadows to release what no longer was serving me. Healing hurts my dears and this past week I have felt every feeling and emotion there is. I’m exhausted, elated, sad, grateful and yes, happy. I’m happy to be alive and experience all of life in the skin I’m in! Tomorrow I am going to experience float therapy which I have read rave reviews about. I already know that this therapeutic experience will rejuvenate and refresh my spirit returning me to a place of balance and harmony.

Thank you so much @myjourney_sda for allowing me to share my testimony of survival to “Triumphing over Trauma”. We are all in this together, sharing our journey, challenges and gifts. We rise as one. Much love to you all ❤

Stay true to YOU
“Love is the Medicine”

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9