Choosing to allow love to lead and guide my life’s purpose is an elaborate dance with Spirit. Opening the heart to allow a higher power to guide my steps is an ever evolving practice in surrendering to the unknown. Leaning into a deeper trust while having faith that the answers will show up in Divine timing, not anything I control. Turning away from ego stories and postures for the betterment of soul’s alignment. It’s a very humbling experience that many of us run from. I know I certainly did, for many years. Living an authentic life takes courage. Especially when fear is forcing you to give up. This past month I’ve had to dig deep and sit through more than a few dark nights of the soul to be rewarded the clarity that self introspection reveals. The recent eclipse season gifted me some hard to swallow truths yet in the core of my being, I knew I needed to see. Staying open, listening to Spirit and my guides while revisiting the more challenging soul lessons required me to love myself more than ever before. Finally, allowing the breakdowns to become breakthroughs.
We all want to be loved. Human beings are wired for connection and community. The way to this love is through deeply and thoroughly loving ourselves. Self acceptance is the key to inner peace. A quote by Lao Tzu says the three greatest treasures are simplicity, patience and compassion. I like to think of them as simplicity of mind creates joy, patience within the body brings peace and compassion in soul is love. The relationships I have with others can trigger a lot of old stories and coping behaviors I leaned on for survival while enduring trauma. These responses were a perceived security blanket for the purpose of protecting my heart. The ego’s desire to control everything in the mind, keeping us small and safe. This has always lead to self sabotage. The old stories fed to me over the years that sting and scream thoughts of “you’re too much”, “don’t show your emotions” and “be perfect”. The scars from emotional neglect in childood have taught me to hide myself by not letting anybody see my innermost feelings for fear of rejection and abandonment. The truth is neither of my parents were emotionally supportive or knew how to explain their own feelings. I learned to hide, stuff and carry not only my own but the energy of emotions from other people around me. Feelings were seen as burdensome. This experience taught me that I was unworthy of love without pain. Pain was intricately woven throughout the meaning of love.
Love is magic
Subsequently, I met men who were emotionally unavailable or who couldn’t match my own level of emotional intelligence and intuitiveness. The journey of healing over the past ten years while reparenting myself has taught me to value my feelings as the warning indicators for what my body needs. Carefully and mindfully nurturing myself welcomes unconditional love to flow. I believe we are all connected to a radiant light, a God consciousness that is made of love. Essentially we are LOVE! This is our purpose. To be love and shine love, to ourselves and one another. Allowing myself to be seen, felt and heard by another who is reflecting my soul back at me is a Divine experience. Love truly is patient and kind. Never boastful, it always protects, trusts, hopes, perservers and never fails.
My 8th book of poetry will be a collection that is all about love ,”My Soul’s Love, a book of spells”. These poems are a culmination of what my journey through healing has taught me. The messages that have brought me closer to God and my life’s purpose as a healer. I’m here to show others how love heals and transforms. There is no possible explanation for how I have returned from the depths of abuse, trauma, addiction and suicide without God’s love and direction. This has arrived by the allowance of true love into my life! The Universe will give you signposts to follow, synchronistic gifts that are meant to teach us how to master the challenges in life. May we be released from ego and guided by soul to let love lead!
We operate on Divine time, it is precious and not our own We are love, let it lead
If you’re interested in a long distance shamanic healing session via phone, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 6 books of poetry please click the link below. See the Services tab in the menu on this website. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
Welcome to the next few months of Summer my dear readers. I love the Sun, its ability to energize my being and amplify my upbeat personality. In this post I will share what I’ve learned this month while traveling the path of soul. My daily healing practices provide a clear lense in which I can view the importance of my purpose for this lifetime’s mission. Focusing on my spiritual ascension helps me to understand the many changes I’m going through and the impending arrival of new emotional experiences. The healing that I have done over the past ten years has birthed this gift.
In the final months of 2021, my spirit team began to prepare me for a new love interest and thus started the whisperings of intuitive information about this new person. I believe we all view life through different lenses, depending upon our view of self. The realization that I deserve to be loved the same way that I express love has transformed my way of thinking about my own worth. Years of viewing life through the lense of trauma, pain and suffering definitely created dysfunction in the way I felt about myself and critically altered my self esteem. After ending and healing from my last intimate relationship, I now know I’m about to attract an energetic match for my heart. This man will view the world as I do, heart centered, open and living life from a place of truth and acceptance. His emotional intelligence is very high, he is well grounded and completely balanced.
When I tap into my intuitive guidance, I see us enjoying dinner by candlelight, laughing while listening to music, hiking the mountains that surround us, camping in the desert and simply enjoying one another’s company. He brings me flowers “just because” and we have long, deep conversations about God and Spirit. I can’t make out his face or features, only seeing him as a shadow either next to or across from me. Spirit is keeping our meeting a complete surprise. Over this month I have been invited to let go and surrender to Divine timing by practicing patience, trust and faith. The poems in this post are all centered around this learning, growing and rising.
My dear readers, we are ALL deserving of love and kindness. Right now in our world, there is a huge shift going on. I invite you to clean your lense by investigating your own experiences and trusting the adventures your heart has traveled through. Believe in miracles because they are real and occur around us all the time. Believe that you are ready for a more Divine emotional experience and a higher love. I’ve lived here in the Salt Lake valley for almost ten months now surrounded by these magnificent mountains that absorb energy and are very grounding for me. The east coast has such a frenetic pace and energy that I do not miss at all. Here, it’s a lot quieter, allowing me to feel more of the oneness vibration, connectedness and threads. I see more and more synchronistic signs and omens. My intuitive feelings have heightened tremendously since last September. The instinctual dance of human experience paired with all that is alive in creation continues to fascinate me and raise the volume of communication. Every song is now much louder than ever before. I find that I’m feeling into a million new truths of awareness and love for absolutely everything without having to understand it. Just allowing all as it. As it has always been and will always be. Life on life’s terms. We all come here with a story to tell, a song to sing, a lesson to learn. Observing it all helps me to pay attention and practice mindfulness which fuels my curiosity, helping me to see the immensely beautiful world that surrounds me.
The heart always knows best. May this post invite you to drop into its intuitive guidance, leaving the mental chatter of mind’s stories behind. At least lower the volume of the conditioned ones it loves to rattle on about. Follow your heart and awaken to soul!
“Always remember”“Beyond”
If you’re interested in a long distance shamanic healing session via phone, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 6 books of poetry please click the link below. See the Services tab in the menu on this website. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
Practicing the art of patience my dear readers in a world that thrives in constant and perpetual motion is a tall order most days. This past week I had the opportunity to take a yin yoga class that allowed me to go completely inwards, shut off my mind and be in my heart, which was highly uncomfortable at first. Through connecting with my breath I was able to release and surrender to the uncomfortability and let go absolutely. The sacred medicine of my soul can then fill my being, restoring me to a place of balanced harmony and truth. I left the class humming. Exercises like this remind me how love is always available should I choose to allow it.
The Universe is reshaping the collective in a deep way right now with the planetary alignment, allowing us to rewrite our stories from a much more empowered space of unconditional love. Divine feminine energy continues to rise and specifically is focusing on our male counterparts. Men in our society have been conditioned to believe that “being strong” means acting stoic and that crying or expressing emotion is weak. My oldest son once asked me, “Mom why do we have to feel?” I responded to him as I do my own thoughts on the subject. To feel is human. Emotions are energy is motion alerting us to what our body needs. How do we tackle the tough ones? Developing a practice of patience that gathers courage and allows us to release, express and process the lessons behind the feelings. This is the main message now that spirit is continually teaching me.
The focus of this blog is to muse on emotions. Today is my first Father’s Day without my Dad in physical form. However, his presence is strongly with me, surrounding me in spirit and I am so grateful for the ability to connect with him in a way that is more intuitive for me. Extra sensory sensitivities and perceptions were the parts of me I ran from, hid, denied and attempted to kill off. Now I embrace who I am with gratitude and unconditional love. I fill my cup as often as I can with what I need to continue the flow of love.
Fill your cup with love
My heart is so full of love today, as I lay next to my soul mate and best friend reunited physically, emotionally and spiritually. All the work that I have put into this past year has paid off in the most priceless of ways. Accepting this gift is the dividend from that soul searching work.
Love’s magical medicine
Yesterday we spent the entire day at the beach, something I adore doing, with the added bonus of live music! My dear readers know how much I love to dance. Being able to groove with my man had my heart overflowing! Barry White’s “You’re The First, The Last, My Everything” is the song he always serenades me with at karaoke. Dancing to it made our time apart worth every tear I shed while missing his closeness.
Beach dancing with a live DJ
I’m a woman with a lot more yang (masculine energy) than yin (female energy) and I can admit to having a hard time allowing myself to slow down, be gentle, receive and be soft. From the start of this year, these past six months has been an intentional process of opening my heart wider, showing the vulnerability which allows me to view the world through the lense of more compassion, empathy and kindness. First towards myself and then towards others I engage with. We are spiritual beings in human form. To feel is human, to overthink is natural and yes at times we feel apart from one another, succumbing to worry and fear. This is our greatest opportunity for the lesson which choosing love teaches us my dear readers. In the moments where we are most confused, most suffering, disconnected and fearful. Recognizing that all of that is an illusion what is real is love. What will save, heal and bring us closer to our goals is simply love. These poems highlight this and are channeled through spirit, through the Master spirits among us.
If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 5 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings paypal.me/tinyd9
Shamanic healing
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
This post is a slight departure from how I usually share the thoughts, feelings and poems that make up the music of my soul’s journey. The rebirth I’ve had leading me to this new beginning has my feet firmly planted in Divine love and has begun to take shape as I open myself up to more of God’s direction for my life. Every morning I am showered by God’s love, grace and mercy as I pray and meditate, experiencing this world in quite the same way the great mystic and revered St. Ignatius did. I want to thank my dear friend David Duncan of http://davidsdailydose.org who nudged me towards learning more about the life and teachings of this mystical saint. This is a deep dive into the resonace I share with Divine reverence for St. Ignatius.
Ignatius is a name of Latin origin believed to mean “fiery one” and can be compared to the word “ignite”. His famous quote, “go forth and set the world on fire” has always held deep meaning for me as a fiery Sagittarius. I must admit however, until recently I was afraid of my own fire, the immense passion I feel inside for how I process and perceive everything in life. I’ve been hiding behind others in relationships and now I am fully ready to step into my power by living out another one of his great sayings, “act as if everything depended on you; trust as if everything depended on God”.
I recently listened to and learned so much about St. Ignatius from an audiobook called “Ignatian Mysticism, Exploring the Mystical Dimensions of the Spiritual Exercises” by Paul Countinho. Ignatius of Loyola, venerated as Saint Ignatius of Loyola, was a Spanish Basque Catholic priest and theologian, who together with Peter Faber and Francis Xavier founded the religious order called the Society of Jesus and became its first Superior General at Paris in 1541. The Jesuits are known for their missionary, educational, and charitable works. This order was the leading force in the modernizing of the Roman Catholic Church. Ignatius was a pilgrim, always moving and contemplative. I too have been moving around my entire adult life in a contemplative fashion. Mine is one filled with deep and serious thought, writing poetry and daydreaming about the many things that catch my heart as I dwell beneath the surface. My dear readers, that has always been where I’m most comfortable and how I spend my days.
What is a mystic…”a mystic is a person who has a direct experience of the sacred,unmediated by conventional religious rituals or intermediaries and absorption into the Divine. Since I was a child, I have experienced strong feelings, whispers and visions from Spirit yet up until recently never talked about or tapped into any of the wisdom being offered to me out of fear others wouldn’t understand or know what I was talking about. I’ve always known I was different, marching to the beat of my own drum they call it. In June of 2019, all that was always meant for me to learn from God was activated when I met and experienced my first shamanic healing session with my mentor and teacher Lindsey Luna. She performed the most sacred of healings on me, a soul retrieval, which sparked a deep and profound spiritual awakening. That healing finally erased all of the fears I had, cracked my entire world wide open, has since created many accelerated transformations and brought me to the path of becoming a certified master shaman. What I believe to be God’s purpose for my life.
The way both St. Ignatius and I have come to know and understand God began through nature and specifically, we view the night sky as God’s masterpiece to behold. My own visions began years ago while I was star gazing. I have been seeing lights, shadows and angels for years now. We believe everything is interconnected and has one Divine identity. It is a right, not a privilege to receive the gifts and graces of God. The pathway to this deepening relationship is ever changing and constantly evolving. Never do I cling to just one experience or idea as my soul came into this life open wide to receive God’s love. Ignatius saw beyond the sexual identity of male or female, race, class or any other category we put people into in modern society today. He chooses to see the pure essence, the shared humanity and consciousness of Divine as One, the Universal law of One. This is true for all of us, including God. It is known in Ignatian Mysticism that no one figure is seen as female or male. We are both Divine feminine and Divine masculine equally, an important fact that must be retained for balance and harmony to be restored to Earth.
By remaining open and allowing life to happen to me according to God’s will, as St. Ignatius did, we believe God finds us and not the other way around. I don’t lead God, I surrender to Him and He finds me. I have done my fair share of running from and denying God. It wasn’t until a suicide attempt and facing the trauma I have endured all my life that I really began to believe that I was worthy of God’s love. St. Ignatius too had suicidal ideation when he believed he wasn’t enough for God. He then came to understand that it’s not in the doing or finding, living for or overcoming God but in the surrendering to God, when we give ourselves over to the wisdom He is giving to us. God gives us unconditional love while we remain open, trusting with our faith in Him to receive it. God uses us as instruments to spread His message of unconditional love and through my healing practice, I am able do for others what was done for me. Ignatius himself said that belief is a very powerful thing….what if Mary didn’t believe what Archangel Gabriel told her about having a son whom we know to be Jesus Christ? As a shaman, all of the healing I provide is based upon the power of belief. This is an oath I wrote and intentionally follow.
“I vow to be open and honest with myself by following the path of Spirit. I trust in where I’m being led and that the highest good is the first priority in my healing practice. I promise to allow Spirit’s guidance to be the primary source for all the healing I perform and provide for the good of my clients and myself. Everything I ask for is based upon the power of intention and my magic is manifested from it. I use love as a superpower to heal first myself and others who choose to work with me. I remain true to my own spirit and my role as a conduit for the Divine on a Universal level. In light and in shadow, always with love ❤Namaste 🙏
“Reckoning”
St. Ignatius practiced three ways of praying to communicate with God and I identity with all of them as a daily practice. For many years, I had been yearning to see the face of God and was having spiritual experiences that I now understand much more fully. This is the beauty, mystery and great wonder of the journey of the soul.
The first way is through contemplative prayer, praying from the heart. I open up the core of my being to the wondrous mystery of life which orchestrates transformations to occur. Contemplation is the realization of things, not revelations, of my own spiritual identity. The authentic truth and voice of my soul. Communication with God in this way brings me to sobbing tears as both St. Ignatius and I experience through all of our senses….feeling, seeing and hearing the wisdom of God as musical notes, chords and spheres. I regularly see colored circles called auras around other people. The more I exercise this muscle of prayer, the more my spiritual experiences grow.
The second pathway of prayer is through meditation, which is an observation of the reflections of the mind to include memory, understanding and will. During this time I make resolutions and experience revelations (ah-ha moments). I’ve been deeply devoted to my meditation practice for over ten years now. Meditation is one of the most beautiful gifts of healing for the soul.
The third and last way St. Ignatius prayed is through what is called “application of the senses” which is a consciousness, presence and awareness of God. Breathing in, drinking of the image of God in all living things with all the senses. I go into an altered state of consciousness to communicate with Spirit which is how I provide healing for myself and others as a shaman. I’m aware of all the dimensions not merely the 3D physical plane. St. Ignatius practiced this too as a way of life, living and experiencing the world through the senses. Believing strongly in the flow, the tremendous gift that all of life is granted us by the Source of all, an infinite and all present God.
Last summer while I was studying to become a shaman and during my apprenticeship, I continuously and intentionally opened myself up to the miracle of Divine essence through all of creation, becoming recharged by God, I began to view the whole of creation as sacred. By the end of July I became aware for the 1st time that I was actively channeling Spirit and I believe this poem is a direct message from St. Ignatius. In it, I feel the white rays of the Sun and the Light, Jesus Christ. I now understand that I have been unaware during my life how often I channel Spirit because my soul is so open. My work has helped me control my vessel so I can sleep more easily and not be awakened by them all hours of the night. That fact was a regular occurrence for Ignatius too until he established boundaries with Spirit over when he would receive messages.
“Divine Reverence” written 7/25/20
My dear readers, I took twenty-two pages of notes from this audiobook and could go further with the similarities and beliefs I share with St. Ignatius. I’ve learned a great deal more about myself through his life and am completely fascinated by him. I feel a deep endearment and a kindred love towards the man. I am an Ignatian Mystic. I believe with my whole heart that true power comes directly from my relationship with God as I continuously open myself up to receive Him. Love is not merely meant to give but to receive. By receiving God, I deepen my relationship with Him which provides meaningful purpose for my life. I am a woman of God, who possesses me and who uses me to help heal others, a gracious and humbling honor. I enjoy and celebrate the fullness of life with its intimate pleasures. I’m committed to a total union and communion with the Divine. After all of the darkness and trauma in my life, finding my identity within the Divine and experiencing the interconnectedness with all of life makes my heart sing and my body dance. I’m free to bask in the sunlight of Spirit, eternally grateful, full of peace, joy and love.
“Let love shine in” written 6/27/20
Hey dear readers, I have updated my Linktree so go check it out! If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings paypal.me/tinyd9 In light and in shadow, always with love ❤ Namaste 🙏
I have shared that my dear Dad passed away from this virus on November 24, 2020. He was isolated because of the restrictions and saw his way to the other side alone which is extremely hard for my Mom especially to process. My intuition guided me to tell my sister and Mom that we needed to be there in the parking lot to see him into the hospice, knowing that would be our last opportunity to see him alive. My Mom had the wonderful idea to ring jingle bells so he could hear us. She made a sign and we all shouted out how much we loved him as the EMTs brought the stretcher off the ambulance and wheeled him into the facility. We weren’t allowed to be there much less follow him inside. That was our goodbye, he passed two days later, two days before Thanksgiving.
My dear ones, I share this blog to point out how the fear of this virus has overtaken our society. I can feel the fear everytime I venture out, others looking at each other with such terror, like we are each other’s enemies. It truly breaks this sensitive soul’s heart. I urge you all to remember kindness. Smile with your eyes at the sight of others since we are masked and others can’t see our mouths any longer. Srnd cards and letters to love ones. Pray. Pray that we will be stronger once we can reunite with our brothers and sisters again. Turn away from fear and open your heart to love❤ Namaste.
I could see it in their eyes. An empty, lonely gaze that reflected a sense of hopelessness. The isolation was taking a toll and their broken spirits were evident upon their drawn-in pale faces. Was this truly the result of an illness or of a soul full of despair? Had the fight all but gone? […]
Emotional Musings 