Getting in touch with your emotional truth, by processing feelings to improve the human condition in the 21st century. Living out loud by my motto,"Triumphing over Trauma" 🌈
In light and in shadow, always with ❤
Practicing the art of patience my dear readers in a world that thrives in constant and perpetual motion is a tall order most days. This past week I had the opportunity to take a yin yoga class that allowed me to go completely inwards, shut off my mind and be in my heart, which was highly uncomfortable at first. Through connecting with my breath I was able to release and surrender to the uncomfortability and let go absolutely. The sacred medicine of my soul can then fill my being, restoring me to a place of balanced harmony and truth. I left the class humming. Exercises like this remind me how love is always available should I choose to allow it.
The Universe is reshaping the collective in a deep way right now with the planetary alignment, allowing us to rewrite our stories from a much more empowered space of unconditional love. Divine feminine energy continues to rise and specifically is focusing on our male counterparts. Men in our society have been conditioned to believe that “being strong” means acting stoic and that crying or expressing emotion is weak. My oldest son once asked me, “Mom why do we have to feel?” I responded to him as I do my own thoughts on the subject. To feel is human. Emotions are energy is motion alerting us to what our body needs. How do we tackle the tough ones? Developing a practice of patience that gathers courage and allows us to release, express and process the lessons behind the feelings. This is the main message now that spirit is continually teaching me.
The focus of this blog is to muse on emotions. Today is my first Father’s Day without my Dad in physical form. However, his presence is strongly with me, surrounding me in spirit and I am so grateful for the ability to connect with him in a way that is more intuitive for me. Extra sensory sensitivities and perceptions were the parts of me I ran from, hid, denied and attempted to kill off. Now I embrace who I am with gratitude and unconditional love. I fill my cup as often as I can with what I need to continue the flow of love.
My heart is so full of love today, as I lay next to my soul mate and best friend reunited physically, emotionally and spiritually. All the work that I have put into this past year has paid off in the most priceless of ways. Accepting this gift is the dividend from that soul searching work.
Yesterday we spent the entire day at the beach, something I adore doing, with the added bonus of live music! My dear readers know how much I love to dance. Being able to groove with my man had my heart overflowing! Barry White’s “You’re The First, The Last, My Everything” is the song he always serenades me with at karaoke. Dancing to it made our time apart worth every tear I shed while missing his closeness.
I’m a woman with a lot more yang (masculine energy) than yin (female energy) and I can admit to having a hard time allowing myself to slow down, be gentle, receive and be soft. From the start of this year, these past six months has been an intentional process of opening my heart wider, showing the vulnerability which allows me to view the world through the lense of more compassion, empathy and kindness. First towards myself and then towards others I engage with. We are spiritual beings in human form. To feel is human, to overthink is natural and yes at times we feel apart from one another, succumbing to worry and fear. This is our greatest opportunity for the lesson which choosing love teaches us my dear readers. In the moments where we are most confused, most suffering, disconnected and fearful. Recognizing that all of that is an illusion what is real is love. What will save, heal and bring us closer to our goals is simply love. These poems highlight this and are channeled through spirit, through the Master spirits among us.
If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 5 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings paypal.me/tinyd9
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
This post is a slight departure from how I usually share the thoughts, feelings and poems that make up the music of my soul’s journey. The rebirth I’ve had leading me to this new beginning has my feet firmly planted in Divine love and has begun to take shape as I open myself up to more of God’s direction for my life. Every morning I am showered by God’s love, grace and mercy as I pray and meditate, experiencing this world in quite the same way the great mystic and revered St. Ignatius did. I want to thank my dear friend David Duncan of http://davidsdailydose.org who nudged me towards learning more about the life and teachings of this mystical saint. This is a deep dive into the resonace I share with Divine reverence for St. Ignatius.
Ignatius is a name of Latin origin believed to mean “fiery one” and can be compared to the word “ignite”. His famous quote, “go forth and set the world on fire” has always held deep meaning for me as a fiery Sagittarius. I must admit however, until recently I was afraid of my own fire, the immense passion I feel inside for how I process and perceive everything in life. I’ve been hiding behind others in relationships and now I am fully ready to step into my power by living out another one of his great sayings, “act as if everything depended on you; trust as if everything depended on God”.
I recently listened to and learned so much about St. Ignatius from an audiobook called “Ignatian Mysticism, Exploring the Mystical Dimensions of the Spiritual Exercises” by Paul Countinho. Ignatius of Loyola, venerated as Saint Ignatius of Loyola, was a Spanish Basque Catholic priest and theologian, who together with Peter Faber and Francis Xavier founded the religious order called the Society of Jesus and became its first Superior General at Paris in 1541. The Jesuits are known for their missionary, educational, and charitable works. This order was the leading force in the modernizing of the Roman Catholic Church. Ignatius was a pilgrim, always moving and contemplative. I too have been moving around my entire adult life in a contemplative fashion. Mine is one filled with deep and serious thought, writing poetry and daydreaming about the many things that catch my heart as I dwell beneath the surface. My dear readers, that has always been where I’m most comfortable and how I spend my days.
What is a mystic…”a mystic is a person who has a direct experience of the sacred,unmediated by conventional religious rituals or intermediaries and absorption into the Divine. Since I was a child, I have experienced strong feelings, whispers and visions from Spirit yet up until recently never talked about or tapped into any of the wisdom being offered to me out of fear others wouldn’t understand or know what I was talking about. I’ve always known I was different, marching to the beat of my own drum they call it. In June of 2019, all that was always meant for me to learn from God was activated when I met and experienced my first shamanic healing session with my mentor and teacher Lindsey Luna. She performed the most sacred of healings on me, a soul retrieval, which sparked a deep and profound spiritual awakening. That healing finally erased all of the fears I had, cracked my entire world wide open, has since created many accelerated transformations and brought me to the path of becoming a certified master shaman. What I believe be God’s purpose for my life.
The way both St. Ignatius and I have come to know and understand God began through nature and specifically, we view the night sky as God’s masterpiece to behold. My own visions began years ago while I was star gazing. I have been seeing lights, shadows and angels for years now. We believe everything is interconnected and has one Divine identity. It is a right, not a privilege to receive the gifts and graces of God. The pathway to this deepening relationship is ever changing and constantly evolving. Never do I cling to just one experience or idea as my soul came into this life open wide to receive God’s love. Ignatius saw beyond the sexual identity of male or female, race, class or any other category we put people in modern society in today. He chooses to see the pure essence, the shared humanity and consciousness of Divine as One, the Universal law of One. This is true for all of us, including God. It is known in Ignatian Mysticism that no one figure is seen as female or male. We are both Divine feminine and Divine Masculine equally, an important fact that must be retained for balance and harmony to be restored to Earth.
By remaining open and allowing life to happen to me according to God’s will, as St. Ignatius did, we believe God finds us and not the other way around. I don’t lead God, I surrender to Him and He finds me. I have done my fair share of running from and denying God. It wasn’t until a suicide attempt and facing the trauma I have endured all my life that I really began to believe that I was worthy of God’s love. St. Ignatius too had suicidal ideation when he believed he wasn’t enough for God. He then came to understand that it’s not in the doing or finding, living for or overcoming God but in the surrendering to God, when we give ourselves over to the wisdom He is giving to us. God gives us unconditional love while we remain open, trusting with our faith in Him to receive it. God uses us as instruments to spread His message of unconditional love and through my healing practice, I am able do for others what was done for me. Ignatius himself said that belief is a very powerful thing….what if Mary didn’t believe what Archangel Gabriel told her about having a son whom we know to be Jesus Christ? As a shaman, all of the healing I provide is based upon the power of belief. This is an oath I wrote and intentionally follow.
“I vow to be open and honest with myself by follow the path of Spirit. I trust in where I’m being led and that the highest good is the first priority in my healing practice. I promise to allow Spirit’s guidance be the primary source for all the healing I perform and provide for the good of my clients and myself. Everything I ask for is based upon the power of intention and my magic is manifested from it. I use love as a superpower to heal first myself and others who choose to work with me. I remain true to my own spirit and my role as a conduit for the Divine on a Universal level. In light and in shadow, always with love ❤Namaste 🙏
St. Ignatius practiced three ways of praying to communicate with God and I identity with all of them as a daily practice. For many years, I had been yearning to see the face of God and was having spiritual experiences that I now understand much more fully. This is the beauty, mystery and great wonder of the journey of the soul.
The first way is through contemplative prayer, praying from the heart. I open up the core of my being to the wondrous mystery of life which orchestrates transformations to occur. Contemplation is the realization of things, not revelations, of my own spiritual identity. The authentic truth and voice of my soul. Communication with God in this way brings me to sobbing tears as both St. Ignatius and I experience through all of our senses….feeling, seeing and hearing the wisdom of God as musical notes, chords and spheres. I regularly see colored circles called auras around other people. The more I exercise this muscle of prayer, the more my spiritual experiences grow.
The second pathway of prayer is through meditation, which is an observation of the reflections of the mind to include memory, understanding and will. During this time I make resolutions and experience revelations (ah-ha moments). I’ve been deeply devoted to my meditation practice for over ten years now and is one of the most beautiful gifts of healing for the soul.
The third and last way St. Ignatius prayed is through what is called “application of the senses” which is a consciousness, presence and awareness of God. Breathing in, drinking of the image of God in all living things with all the senses. I go into an altered state of consciousness to communicate with Spirit which is how I provide healing for myself and others as a shaman. I’m aware of all the dimensions not merely the 3D physical plane. St. Ignatius practiced this too as a way of life, living and experiencing the world through the senses. Believing strongly in the flow, the tremendous gift that all of life is granted us by the Source of all, an infinite and all present God.
Last summer while I was studying to become a shaman and during my apprenticeship, I continuously and intentionally opened myself up to the miracle of Divine essence through all of creation, becoming recharged by God and began to view the whole of creation as sacred. By the end of July I became aware for the 1st time that I was actively channeling Spirit and I believe this poem is a direct message from St. Ignatius. In it, I feel the white rays of the Sun and the Light, Jesus Christ. I now understand that I have been unaware during my life how often I channel Spirit because my soul is so open. My work has helped me control my vessel so I can sleep more easily and not be awakened by them all hours of the night. That fact was a regular occurrence for Ignatius too until he established boundaries with Spirit over when he would receive messages.
My dear readers, I took twenty-two pages of notes from this audiobook and could go further with the similarities and beliefs I share with St. Ignatius. I’ve learned a great deal more about myself through his life and am completely fascinated by him. I feel a deep endearment and a kindred love towards the man. I am an Ignatian Mystic. I believe with my whole heart that true power comes directly from my relationship with God as I continuously open myself up to receive Him. Love is not merely meant to give but to receive. By receiving God, I deepen my relationship with Him which provides meaningful purpose for my life. I am a woman of God, who possesses me and who uses me to help heal others, a gracious and humbling honor. I enjoy and celebrate the fullness of life with its intimate pleasures. I’m committed to a total union and communion with the Divine. After all of the darkness and trauma in my life, finding my identity within the Divine and experiencing the interconnectedness with all of life makes my heart sing and my body dance. I’m free to bask in the sunlight of Spirit, eternally grateful, full of peace, joy and love.
Hey dear readers, I have updated my Linktree so go check it out! If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu. For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings paypal.me/tinyd9 In light and in shadow, always with love ❤ Namaste 🙏
I have shared that my dear Dad passed away from this virus on November 24, 2020. He was isolated because of the restrictions and saw his way to the other side alone which is extremely hard for my Mom especially to process. My intuition guided me to tell my sister and Mom that we needed to be there in the parking lot to see him into the hospice, knowing that would be our last opportunity to see him alive. My Mom had the wonderful idea to ring jingle bells so he could hear us. She made a sign and we all shouted out how much we loved him as the EMTs brought the stretcher off the ambulance and wheeled him into the facility. We weren’t allowed to be there much less follow him inside. That was our goodbye, he passed two days later, two days before Thanksgiving.
My dear ones, I share this blog to point out how the fear of this virus has overtaken our society. I can feel the fear everytime I venture out, others looking at each other with such terror, like we are each other’s enemies. It truly breaks this sensitive soul’s heart. I urge you all to remember kindness. Smile with your eyes at the sight of others since we are masked and others can’t see our mouths any longer. Srnd cards and letters to love ones. Pray. Pray that we will be stronger once we can reunite with our brothers and sisters again. Turn away from fear and open your heart to love❤ Namaste.
I could see it in their eyes. An empty, lonely gaze that reflected a sense of hopelessness. The isolation was taking a toll and their broken spirits were evident upon their drawn-in pale faces. Was this truly the result of an illness or of a soul full of despair? Had the fight all but gone? […]
Since returning from Idaho less than one week ago, I can’t stress enough to you my dear readers how monumental a shift I feel now that I’ve officially been anointed a shaman! It’s quite disorienting mostly and I find myself just wanting to be in solitude and in nature. The energy where I live is toxic and not a vibrational match therefore, I find myself very distracted by thoughts and feelings I know aren’t mine. Shout out to the other empaths and psychics out there because you all know what I mean.
My partner and I have plans to move soon yet in the meantime my patience in wearing thin. Today I’m experiencing a lot of the pain of being human my dears. I’ve been patiently awaiting my partner’s arrival since May. I know why we needed to be separated during my apprenticeship and now that it’s over, time is standing still! I know I’m divinely protected and that this chapter here where I live is ending soon. Today however, I’m just plain over it🤪
I rallied and had a good talking with myself. I hopped on my bike and took the longer, more scenic route to the beach. After I arrived I felt 100% better, much more present and focused. I want to share with you some of my latest poems. This reintegration process is a challenge I wasn’t expecting. I understand all I can control is my reaction to my current situation. I must admit I often find myself daydreaming about how wonderful it was to be in Idaho, with a woman who is my soul family and who understands me more than any other human being ever. Plus, the energy there was so chill. I’ve always felt as though South Florida has been my 2nd home after New Jersey. Now I want to experience life on the west coast. I’m over the fast paced, in your face vibe that is prevalent here. I believe my time on this coast is up!
I’m so blessed to find myself in a place where I’m not tied to anything so that making my next move feels exciting. The opposite of how many of my moves have felt in the last ten years. This one is 100% my choice, not a “have to” but a “want to”. I’ve had so many loving and supportive people around me that have graciously taken me in while I healed all areas of my life over the past 9 years. Financially I haven’t been ready to be on my own again since the divorce was finalized in 2012. It’s been a long 8 years of living with others, out of suitcases and boxes. I’m ready to claim my own life again and this is a feeling and a opportunity I haven’t had for quite some time.
In the past few days, I took full advantage of the glorious sunshine and low humidity. Here are the poems I wrote, based in observation of both my surroundings and my internal story. As always my dear readers, so much love💚🌱
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What an exciting time to be alive my dear readers. I’m continuing to embrace all the shifts, the beauty in abundance along with all the challenges these past months have brought me. Sometimes I feel I’m crawling, at times standing completely still yet at other times it’s as though I’m living in fast forward. Boy can transformation be disorienting and confusing but all the way powerful! I’m reminded of a saying my partner uses when he’s feeling good, “I’m all the way live”. I’m definitely feeling that today, all the way🥰
I’m almost halfway to completing the 40 hours of intern hours towards my certification to be a shamanic healer. I’ve finalized my trip to Idaho in early September where I will get to spend time with my teacher/dear sister Lindsey Luna and perform my final ritual ceremony. I’m so excited my dears! I haven’t taken a solo trip like this to that part of the country in over ten years. It’s going to be epic. Especially since for the past few months I’ve spent most of my time in quiet solitude.
Today thankfully the clouds parted and the rain let up. We’ve been experiencing a tropical storm here, they originally predicted a hurricane but thankfully it was downgraded. I love to get out on my bike every day but due to the storms, I’ve been indoors for the past two days. So, having cabin fever, I was itching to get out in the fresh air so I headed to my favorite park. I was absolutely blown away by the swarms of dragonflies I rode through! They were EVERYWHERE. Here’s what Google says about the dragonfly….
“In almost every part of the world, the dragonfly symbolizes change, transformation, adaptability, and self-realization. The change that is often referred to has its source in mental and emotional maturity and understanding the deeper meaning of life”.
This is exactly where I’m at my loves. Allowing God to continue to mold me. As usual, Divine timing is perfect. I made some intentions for the full moon asking God to continue guiding me and strengthen my steps, release any doubts as I lite the paper to burn away what no longer serves me so that I may continue to walk my path without any impediments. I dropped it into my coldron and watched it disintegrate🔥
Friday night as I sat by the lake gazing up the beautifully enchanting fullness of Lady Luna, my heart started to ache for my partner. I know he will join me once the time is right but I miss him dearly. These past three months apart from each other feel like three years because of all the personal growth I’ve done in order to become a healer. I wrote two poems in his honor, one Friday night under the moon and the other indoors while listening to the thunderstorm rage outside. Both environments are equally representative of how I feel internally without him. Some days, I’m at peace and acceptance with what must be and others I’m turned up and twisted with sadness and longing to be held in his arms.
I have learned in some intensely dramatic ways that as much as I want to be in control, I most definitely am not. We must be apart for me to fully take on this role and concentrate on opening myself up to all it asks of me. The dragonflies were a sign that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. My spirit guides and my angels are supporting me always. I lean on that everyday and am never disappointed. My blessings are too many to count. Life is so beautiful and I’m embracing every second of it.
My oldest son Ty turns 19 on Wednesday. I told him the other day how blessed I am that God chose me to be his mother and also how blessed I am to have him chose me as his mother. He looked at me kind of funny, like surprised I said that. I laughed and reassured him that since the day he was born, I’ve been his student. Both of my boys have taught me more about myself and life than any other experience I’ve had. That’s who I remain always, a student of life. Staying open to where I am and where I’m heading. Stay blessed😊
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