Healing, Inner child, personal development, relationships

I love smiling, smiling’s my favorite

This line from the movie “Elf” suits me perfectly. Lately, I can feel myself smiling more often just because it feels good to activate theย tiny molecules in the brain that are designed to fend off stress. These molecules, called neuropeptides, facilitate communication between neurons in the brain. Also, whenย I’m smiling, my brain is releasing dopamine, endorphins and serotonin aka the happy hormones. Spending time out in nature whether walking, running or riding my bike, dancing, listening to music, laughing with friends and family, writing poetry and practicing the art of shamanism is how I heal. Expressing myself in these ways makes me smile!

I was guided recently to rewatch one of my favorite movies, “The Wiz”. This movie is a reflection of how life has felt for me growing up, afraid to be who I am. Learning to express myself by believing that I am worthy and good enough are core wounds from childhood traumas both big T and little t. Three songs on the movie’s soundtrack really spoke to my soul and I would like to share two of them through their lyrics and one video that I urge you my dear readers to watch because I want you to tap into the emotion of Dorothy played by the legendary Diana Ross.

Can I Go On?
Sang by Diana Ross

Lose it?
Lose it?
I don’t even know the first thing
About what they’re feeling
What am I afraid of?
Don’t know what I’m made of
Can I go on
Not knowing?

Feeling?
Feeling?
Something tells me
That it’s more than I can deal with
Though I never knew the song
Some words still catch on
Like caring and sharing
Being together no matter

Can I go on
Not knowing?
Don’t know what I’m made of
Why am I afraid of feeling?
Feeling?
If I dare to take a chance
Would someone lead me?

Believe in Yourself
Sang by Lena Horne

If you believe within your heart you’ll know
That no one can change
The path that you must go
Believe what you feel
And know you’re rights because
The time will come around
When you’ll say it’s yours

Believe that you can go home
Believe you can float on air
Yes, click your heels three times
If you believe
Oh, then you’ll be there
That’s why I want you to
Believe in yourself, yes

Right from the start
You got to believe, believe in the magic
Right there in your heart
Go ahead believe all these things
Not because I told you to, no

Believe in yourself, oohh yes
Believe in yourself
Believe in yourself, as I believe in you

Yes indeed, home is within ourselves, in our own hearts.Currently my dear readers, the cosmic planetary alignment is ripe for healing childhood wounds while Venus is conjunct to the Sun. We are being asked to acknowledge and release these past wounds, to close these old chapters once and for all. The objective is to feel comfortable in our own skin. This is soul integration my dears, shadow work that calls the truth in recognizing all aspects of ourselves that furthering the creation of our whole soul self. These are the poems that I have wrote while reflecting on my own truths, using self love as a healing salve through artistic expression.

I take virtual dance classes from time to time with my fellow sister in dance and soul Sophia Sabino creating founder of SopHIIT, a fusion of dance and fitness. I urge you to follow her on Instagram and take her classes. Last Sunday we did a routine to “Fix You” sang by Sam Smith. She suggested we think about the song in the vein of self healing, my favorite topic. So often we feel we need to change or fix the ones we love when really it is us who needs our own attention. This is what our soul is projecting outwards and serves a great lesson. I ask you my dear readers, when you feel triggered to do this, turn the question inwards and ask yourself, “what am I seeing in this person that needs healing within me”? I believe if we follow these breadcrumbs we are led to our own soul and can further the healing process of accepting ourselves fully, loving ourselves without judgement and feeling inner peace and contentment. Let me know how the healing process is progressing for you in the comments below.

“Fix You” sang by Sam Smith

We are in a New Moon phase in Aries my dear readers. This is forcing change, much needed changes upon us. I’ve noticed many of my fellow bloggers are stepping back from writing to take time for themselves, reassessing where their energy is best served. I too will be doing this as I travel in these last two weeks of April. First, a chance for a reconnection with my former partner to North Carolina and then to visit my boys and dear friends in R. I. As I prepare for these adventures my heart chakra is expanding, my solar plexus is healing within these most important relationships with people I love dearly. I am incredibly grateful for these opportunities. This is the crystal healing grid I constructed last weekend to orchestrate healing both myself and my relationships. The song is “Ave Maria” sang by the incomparable Josh Groban.

New Moon intention setting with crystal grid for healing

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Grief and loss, Healing, relationships, Spirituality

#testimonytuesday, Death and Rebirth

Over this past weekend, with the arrival of Spring 2021 I experienced a major shift that has ushered in a new path on my soul’s journey. The process of allowing death to a part of myself that no longer serves and the the rebirth of a more integrated and whole self. Death to Ladysag77, the pen name I began writing with when I first started sharing my poetry publicly and being reborn Maria Teresa, poet and healer. This has taken 21 months of gestation, the labor of healing myself through the many paths I shared in my last post https://emotionalmusings.com/2021/03/18/many-paths-lead-to-healing-this-is-what-mine-looks-and-feels-like/ A few key events also triggered this next level of my soul awakening journey. This is my testimonial of healing, death and rebirth.

Friday the 19th, I accidentally locked myself out of the poetry app Mirakee and couldn’t log back in. I had been logged in since 2018 ( I know right? ๐Ÿ˜†) and not being able to get back on right away was quite perplexing for me as a writer being cut off from my body of work with hundreds of my poems that are the many pieces to my soul. At the same time the most difficult decision I have ever had to make was weighing heavily upon me, revealing its truth. This is something that has been sitting on my heart for almost a year now and recent events proved that the best decision I had to make is in choosing myself. I have decided to leave a long term relationship with my partner of almost eight years. This is the worst kind of pain I have ever experienced. Period. I don’t quite have the words yet to fully describe the avalanche of emotions that have been triggered for me. I do know however that this is another layer that is necessary in the healing process. I am detaching with love from my soul mate, my one true love.

“Becoming a Misunderstanding”

More than ever before I feel compelled by my soul to further spread my wings and soar to greater heights as my purpose deepens and reveals the process of awakening and aliveness to me. The fire within me roars strong and bright. At the same time, the wounded inner child within me is begging to be seen and the following videos and poems are how I honor her. Little Maria is now being cared for by Maria Teresa. I have sole ownership over my heart. I have retained its key from my partner who needs to do his own healing. I pray for him to see his way clear to his own soul. Parts of me are dying, I’ve lost my best friend and all I can do is ride the waves of emotion as best as I can. Balancing the ebb and flow as the seas of change bring me closer to where I’m meant to further grow.

Recommitting to myself by continuing to do what scares me. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone fosters change. My path has been so accelerated, at times I want to just quit but I can’t.  I made a promise to my soul to be who I am and express what I’m learning along the way. No more hiding. I am facing the toughest of life challenges with all the tools I’ve learned these past ten years. What I’m experiencing has rocked and shaken me to the very core. I do what I do best, channel them through my creativity. This is a poem about the many faces of transformation that I have been in the last 21 months. I never dreamed becoming me would mean losing you. I pray you find your way. All of my love always. Nothing but love. I know whatever is meant to be, will be.

“The Pain of Letting You Go”

This is the song my Dad sends me when I feel really sad and am desperately missing him. In the midst of heavy change, my heart is open and bleeding right now. Whatever life hands you is yours to use my dear readers. Life is 90% of how you respond to what happens in every experience. Allow the feelings to flow out, use the experience as an opportunity to grow. This is how the roots of transformation are sown. Planting them deeply by using self love as fertile ground. When the pain of staying stuck propels you to do something different. I choose to see the light within the shadows, to rise again and again. Using my love as a superpower that propels me into the next experience. Learning whatever I can to grow within the moments.

“I’ll Stand By You”

Saturday morning I was out for a run, warming up my body and locking into selflove and care. This is a song that always gets me up, movin and groovin. Rebirth for me means that I’m allowing the seeds of newness that were planted in the winter to bloom into life, to be expressed through soul. My soul loves to dance which is my most favorite and true expression. In ancient times, a shaman would ask the members of the tribe that needed care when was the last time they sang or danced. My dear readers, I sing and dance every single day. I’m alive and life is to be celebrated โœจ

“Cake by the Ocean” yes please ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŽ‚

My dear friends nicknamed me “the Sun” because my natural energy is fiery, my attitude is upbeat and matches my bubbly personality. The dancing I do is always improvisational, never choreographed. I spent time at the beach yesterday afternoon gathering myself, soaking up the light rays of the mighty Sun and this energy came through telling me to go LIVE on my Instagram. I have deleted the Ladysag77 account and will be operating from EmotionalMusings on all of the social media platforms, please follow me there my friends.
This is me, this is my soul. I came here to shake shit up, love and be free.

Shout out to my man Mr. Michael Franti “Love Invincible” and his other tunes have been healing my soul for years โค Peace, love and so much freaking light my loves.

We are all “Love Invincible”

On my resume in the biography section it says, “I have a special talent for taking lemons and making lemonade”. I have so many blessings to be grateful for right now. Next month I will be embarking upon two awesome adventures. First, I am taking a one year certification course in sound healing to further my knowledge of how music heals the mind, body and spirit. This will add another layer to the shamanic healing sessions I offer my clients. I incorporate the drum, rattles, finger chimes and tuning fork along with my voice to amplify sound energy. At the end of the month I will be surprising my youngest son in Rhode Island for his 16th birthday. I haven’t been back to the state I called home for thirteen years since 2016. This trip is a long time coming and I can’t wait to be reunited with my two sons. My oldest has recently moved into his first apartment and I am so damn proud of him. He is such a kind, generous and gifted young man. I’m also planning to reconnect with my sister friends, some of them for the first time in person because we have only known one another through social media. I will be sure to keep you all posted by writing about these experiences in future posts.

“Fly Away”
“Just love”

In the meantime, life is a combo of positive and negative vibrations that we swim through everyday in what I call an energy soup. It’s up to each one of us to transmute the negatives into positives using love, acceptance and understanding. Dr. Nicole LaPera says,”when we witness and accept all emotions without judgment we allow space for healing. Practice accepting whatever comes up without trying to change it.” I believe that’s how we grow and evolve. I vow to keep doing my part to heal myself and help heal others, one heart at a time.

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, relationships

Surrendering to patience, helping love grow

Cultivating patience has always been a challenge for me. As a highly sensitive individual alive today in a culture of urgency and reaction, being patient takes a mindful approach. Meditation is the best tool I have found, putting me in the passenger seat as an observer to my thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Developing a pause button greatly assists me in behaving in a way that aligns more to my authentic spirit and my nature. It’s a delicate dance and at times I fall down while the flood of emotions can get overwhelming and yet what I have learned on my self healing journey are what the lessons within each mistake serve to help me to grow stronger, becoming a better version of myself. Many refer to this as choosing one’s battles.

As an emotional warrior and someone who reads energy it can be emotionally taxing for me to over exert my own energy and interject myself into situations not meant for me. Therein lies the mastery of what I believe about how we are the masters of our own reality and emotional states. My behavior is mine alone and I am the one who must face the consequences of my actions.

I must admit my dear readers to feeling the aspects of my shadow in a much deeper way upon the arrival of my partner. We have spent so much time apart and my fear was that he wouldn’t like the person I am today. In the past few days I have had many outbursts, said things I later regretted saying yet after contemplation, meditation and re-centering can see how triggered my ego had become putting me on the defense. My personality was really on display in ways that I haven’t felt in months. These experiences are uncomfortable and lead me to become overly critical, overly analytical and I find myself trying to carry the weight of the world upon my shoulders in a perfectionist way. Old coping patterns, mindsets and behaviors resurface giving me a opportunity to observe these shadow parts of myself over again with fresh eyes throughthe transformationalprocess I have undergone. This my dear ones is the cycle of healing. My first response was to feel the fear and disapproval of myself stemming from years of emotional pain and traumatic wounding like they were fresh all over again. Ultimately, acceptance of what is becomes the only viable solution for inner peace, balance, harmony and self love.

Integration of shadow

I may not always like everything that I feel all the time yet I understand these are growing pains and are necessary for my partner and I to go through together while we build a stronger, more sound foundation in this new beginning of our relationship. The deep love and acceptance of one another for the different people we are is what comes to the surface healing all. I believe our soul bond and love will carry us through because that is undeniable. He and I have faced many challenges together and I believe that’s what builds a strong relationship. Finding love within the challenges and changes, rediscovering our flow, accepting one another, surrendering to patience and being mindful of how I respond are the keys to mutual joy, peace and love. It’s not always easy yet nothing is when change is unfolding. This meme I came across the other day expresses this idea perfectly.

Word

In the meantime we are being gentle with one another and recognizing that time takes time, a phrase I’ve relied upon often in the past ten years during my self healing journey. I look forward to more walks on the beach, listening to live music, singing together, dancing with one another and lots of laughter. This is the beginning of a beautiful new phase of our relationship. I love you baby, always and forever!

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9