Grief and loss, Healing

In memoriam

Yesterday was a glorious day for my family and I as we bid our final farewell to my Dad. My Mom was especially happy to hold this memorial service in their Catholic church 45 years to the day they had their first date. I was extremely honored to be the representative from the family to give the eulogy which included the poem I wrote “Daddy” just hours before he passed on November 24, 2020. This was the closure we all needed and the homecoming my Dad deserved.

For you Dad
“Daddy”

We continued the celebration of my Dad’s life with an Italian fest fit for the king he is, a luncheon that was held at his favorite restaurant which included family and close friends, about twenty people. My older sister flew in from Utah and my oldest brother drove down from Orlando. It was especially great to all be together again since we have all been separated by the pandemic. We laughed and we shed tears. We all shared our favorite memories of my Dad. I was so comforted by my family yesterday and it felt so good to be with the people I love the most. My partner is here (FINALLY) and he was and is my rock, grounding me through the grieving process. I’m so grateful and blessed to have these people in my life when I need them the most. My gratitude includes my dear friends that are scattered across the country and in other places around the world who have sent condolences with love including so many of you my dear readers. From the bottom of my heart, your love means so much to me. Connection is a key in healing because we all experience loss. This is a time we need to lean on each other.

My sister Tami arranged these beautiful flowers

I took this video of myself dancing hours before my partner’s arrival. I absolutely adore Janis Joplin’s style and fiery vocals. My partner often remarks on how I remind him of her so I felt it fitting to dance in tribute to her and my love for all of humanity. I put a piece of my heart into every creative thing I do. If I don’t feel passionate about it, I simply don’t do it. Life is precious and I intend to make the most of my time here doing what I love to do most which is expressing the depths of my creative soul in light and love!

“Piece of My Heart”

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com
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Grief and loss, Healing

Feeling is healing

Often times we do whatever we can to mute, disconnect and halt our feelings. I know this process well my dear readers. Through the trauma, abuse and self destructive ways I attempted to stifle my feelings in the hopes of erasing what was going on, I came to understand there is no way to escape the pain. What I have learned my friends is the only way to truly live is by feeling, for that is healing. Listening to the notes of each heart song, brings me closer to my authentic self and creates a bridge to my soul. To feel is to heal which in turn elevates the soul.

This Saturday my family and I will bid an official farewell to my Dad. My Mom chose to hold the memorial on the same date as their first meeting which was a blind date, 45 years ago. It’s very special for her. I’m honored to be giving a reading during the Catholic mass that will be held in his honor and reciting my poem “Daddy” while the choir director plays “How Great Art Thou” my Dad’s favorite hymn. It’s also three months to the day he breathed his final breath, crossing over to the spirit realm, to be with God and the angels. I’ve been feeling lots of different emotions as you can imagine my dear ones. The difference of focus for me now is that I don’t judge my feelings. I surrender, I accept and I feel them. However they surface, with anger, with tears or with laughter. All of it serves.

Curiously investigating feelings to heal

This poem, “Inner Landscape” was recently named post of the day on the app I use, Mirakee, to create my poems. I have been using this app for over two years and this is the first time I have been recognized by this honor. I must tell you the sheer joy I felt receiving so much love, kindness and support from the writing community on the app and on the social media platforms I shared it on. My hope and prayer is that by sharing my journey of healing, of learning to live by my motto of “Triumphing over Trauma”, I can inspire others to do the same. This is another poem about healing, based upon chakra health which leads to a richness and wealth of well-being.

Chakra health =healing wealth

I would also like to share with you my dear readers a clip from a show I have been binging on Netflix called “The Magicians”. This clip is of the cast singing in remembrance of one of the lead characters, their dear friend who passes away tragically after a magic spell that leads to an unexpected outcome. It really impacted me as I watched it, tears spontaneously fell from my eyes and poured down my face. I’ve heard this song so many times ,yet not in this tempo, which allowed the meaning to shine light upon my own grief. We get such a short amount of time in this life for the people we connect with to leave an indelible mark upon our hearts that we may not recognize until they are gone. We are presented with that choice, to “Take on Me” when we love someone. These special relationships teach us so much. My Dad is the strongest and most humble person I have ever been blessed to know and love. He was a man of few words, the strong and silent type, so when he spoke he commanded attention and you listened. I’m so very honored to be his daughter, getting the opportunity to “take on him”.

Lastly, I will close this post with two other poems that reflect my heart and healing at this time along my journey. I urge each one of you my dear friends, tap into your heart, feel your feelings, heal and continue to discover your authentic self, which is your truth. It’s beautiful. It’s you!

Honor your spirit

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Consciousness, Healing, personal development, Spirituality

Eternal love is the breath of life

My dear readers, I have written often about the self healing techniques, rituals and ceremonies I practice in order to stay connected to my authentic self and to further integrate my soul into my being. Yesterday I took part in another breathquest ceremony that my dear friend Chrissy-Marie hosts via her Voyagers membership group that can be accessed here https://theartofaliveness.mykajabi.com/ Conscious breathing is so beneficial to welcoming in more life force energy which is what brings overall well-being to our body, mind and spirit. Directing such energy helps rid the body of stress and trauma, allowing for further expansion. The more room one can create internally, the more freedom one feels. It’s invigorating my dear ones!

I’ve been taking part in these monthly ceremonies for over ten months. I can firmly attest to the abundance of overall harmony I feel once the release of stagnant energy takes place where trauma has been locked in my body. The areas that are most impacted are the autonomic nervous system (ANS) which is connected to physical processes such as digestion, respiration, heart rate, immune function, and peristalsis. Also the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) which is our fight-or-flight response. For someone like me with CPTSD, this has benefited me most in regulating this response so that I can be more present while helping me focus and meditate much easier.

This information is quoted in an article I read to research conscious breathing and its benefits, and can be found at https://kripalu.org/resources/benefits-conscious-breathing-body-and-mind

“The other branch of the system is the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), often called the “rest and digest” or “calm and connect” system, which allows us to recoup from the stressors of life. If you find yourself breathing slowly and deeply, feeling a sense of calm and peacefulness, your PNS is activated, enhancing digestion, increasing blood flow to the GI track, lowering the heart rate, and enhancing sexual arousal. This system also activates certain parts of the brain, dampening fear-response regions and increasing the reflective, responsive regions. The result? More reflective, conscious behavior and action; an increased feeling of calm; and greater mental flexibility and creativity amid life’s challenges”.

The work I practice as a shaman requires me to read energy on other dimensions and has me dance with irrationality. I’m a storyteller for the soul, therefore it’s important for my being to be as healthy, neutral and well attuned as possible. These breathing techniques have helped shift my own consciousness and behavior in innumerable and priceless ways. I’ve begun teaching the art of shamanism while maintaining a steady client base and by God’s grace I have become quite busy. This week I really needed this breath course to reconnect with my soul, breathe and rejuvenate myself. I took a much needed day off yesterday and enjoyed restful sleep. Being still, feeling calmness and tremendous inner peace is a reward for all the hard work and dedication I give to this craft, my way of life as I walk the shamanic path.

For it is in breathing that we can let go, allowing more truth and love into our being. These little deaths create new beginnings. In the moments one feels anxious and wants to hold (breath) is the exact moment our body desires us to release and breathe. When we feel the urgency to speed up is actually the time we need to slow down. Breathing deep and often, consciously makes all of these actions flow more easily and helps us make more healthful decisions.

These two poems embody how my soul feels. Connecting to etetnal love, which supports all life in the Universe and how vital it is to feel the breath of life. The amount of aliveness one feels is directly related to one’s soul’s health. Healing the soul, connecting all parts of self spreads love throughout our human operating system. This allows us to be as whole as possible and as joyful, peaceful and loving as we want. I highly recommend you try it my dear ones! Breath is life!

Breath is freedom
Love supports all life

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Consciousness, Healing, Spirituality

Soul freedom 2021

I write about my emotions and those of others around me within this blog. That’s why I call it “Emotional Musings”. We are four days into this new year of 2021 and I can feel the door many of us have walked through that has given further rise in humanity’s elevation and ascension within our evolutionary process. I have been given lots of signs and information already from my guides. In this post I will share with you my poems and art that has further activated my soul’s purpose and freedom!

In my last post https://emotionalmusings.com/2020/12/28/whats-your-word-for-2020-2/ I shared that my word for 2020 was beauty. This is the word I chose at the end of the year. The one I chose at the beginning of 2020 was create. By setting clear intentions and goals, I created a whole new life for myself as a writer and shaman. I released three books last year that I’m immensely proud of and finished my master certification to become a shamanic healer. Both are incredibly important to my own healing journey and my soul’s purpose. This year for 2021, my word is freedom. In every sense of the word, I choose to remain free. My soul’s spirit is free from the judgements and opinions of others or any constraints that previously blocked its ability to sing, to love and to live! I continually strive towards financial freedom, something that has eluded me in the ten years since my divorce. Freedom to feel all of me, the intricate parts of self and soul. Integration of Serena, who I call my soul, and Maria Teresa, my birth name.

When I started this blog two years ago my main objective was to be as transparent as possible in regards to my journey through mental health, emotional breakdowns and breakthroughs which led me onto the spiritual life path I travel today. I want for all of my dear readers here to feel heard, seen and loved. To have hope enlivened, faith restored and love injected directly into your souls! We only get such a short time in this precious life, to experience consciousness in these human forms we inhabit. My intention is to inspire others to heal, live out their dreams and best life according to their soul.

I recently watched the Disney Pixar movie, “Soul” and felt inspired to share my spark here with you all my dear ones. Through my poetry and the healing I perform as a shaman, my soul sings loudly and freely. Another psychically inclined woman who I consider a soul sister wrote that we are Spirit’s “boots on the ground” and I firmly believe that! Please follow her blog at https://missdorrina.com I am a mere conduit for Spirit and it’s a real honor to share their wisdom with others. Together, I vow to do my part in helping to raise the vibration here on Earth, to heal humanity one heart at a time.

My most favorite Dead song ever because it speaks directly to my deep purple, turquoise and green soul. Listen to their best version of “Eyes of the World” from 1977, the year of my birth, at Englishtown, NJ (I’m a NJ native)

I make small promises to myself everyday along with intentions that I burn during shamanic rituals. I listen intently to to the guided messages from Spirit. I love deeply. This poem and painting is dedicated to my soul’s burst of 6 soul sisters and our eternal connection. We have all found one another and come back together in 2020. I want us to reunite in person this year! A soul reunion ✨

Colors of my soul

After I sit in my morning meditation is when I feel the most poetic energy influences flowing. These come directly from Source. The Divine. The angels, ascended masters, my ancestors, spirit guides and highest and holiest vibrational beings of light.

The only vaccine we need

Lastly, this poem is one I wrote to process some of my own observations regarding interactions in the relationships we have with one another. Awakening to my soul has afforded me a pause button, to really see the truth in life and what others serve to teach me here. It’s an ever unfolding, always fascinating and awe inspiring process. To view the internal struggle from an energetic perspective.

Shine love towards one another

Until next time my dears, keep staying curious about your intentions in life. Release what no longer serves you, love hard and live the life as the tremendously beautiful gift it is!

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9

Mental health, Spirituality

What’s your word for 2020?

This is my close out post for 2020 my dear readers. I want to ask you what word highlights your 2020? This question came to me while I was having a solo dance party in my room. Music and dance is my healing balm, the salve my heart needs to heal my soul. What helps heal your soul my dear? Music electrifies the beat and provides the rhythm that allows me to groove, to feel the most free and 100% ALIVE in my body! I want to leave you with a couple of dance videos because that is my soul. I have studied and practiced dance for most of my life, now I dance for fun and to heal! Today my dear Nana would’ve turned 100 years old. She is my guardian angel now and has been for almost sixteen years. She is dancing through me tonight.

So as we close out this year, I’m curious what word you can tag to 2020? My word is beautiful. I know many don’t see this in its totality when we think about this year. The big picture for me is that no matter what, I have learned from and leaned into the pain. I have embraced the change. I walked through all of it with my heart full of love. I made the absolute most of the situations I found myself in. Losing things and people and also gaining inner wisdom and peace.

Was this year easy? Hell no! Did it hurt like hell, YES! I am much better for it all as this year is at it’s end. I keep saying this and it rings so true for me, the new relationship I have with my Dad now that he’s on the other side is strangely beautiful. His presence grounds me in strength within the invisible world of Spirit. Missing my life partner being in my world daily has proven to me how damn strong I am. My soul’s journey continues. I am so grateful for all the love I have been blessed with.

“Word Up” by Cameo

I am an old and noble soul. I embrace every aspect of life because each part of this journey makes me ALIVE! I AM the hurt, the elation of love, exciting experiences, heartbreak, sadness, innocence, curiosity, failure, pain, wisdom and so much joy and love wrapped up with inner peace. It’s all available, a kaleidoscope of feelings that lies inside each of us. Learning how to bend without breaking is the journey. Remaining a mountain of strength amongst the chaos. You can too my dears, I am living proof that we can and do heal. I believe in each and every one of you. I am grateful for each one of you on this journey with me. I love each and every one of you. You are my teachers and my guides. We are soul’s reflections within each other as we walk together. We can all be birds. My Dad shows up every day as one. Find your inner bird and be free!

Truth bomb
“Birds” by Coldplay

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9