Spirituality

Let’s dive into our soul

This post has been trying to manifest itself for sometime my dear readers. With this ever changing situation our entire world is in, coupled with the spiritual growth I myself have been experiencing, HOLY MOLY y’all!!!! The messages, downloads actually, come so intensely at times it overwhelms my entire system. This week as I sat in Mother Nature’s excellence, I was finally able to piece together all of what was being revealed to me. I’m so grateful to have been able to finally sit with it all to make sense out of it😊

It is said that we attract what we need in this life and I firmly agree. The relationships I cultivate are exactly what I need to learn and gain wisdom from. For a very long time I brought in others who were broken, narcissistic and displayed deep sociopathic behaviors. Yet after this summer’s breakthrough, I see everything from a new light. I thank our God and creator for that whole heartedly. The perspective of “victim and why me” is now thank God me, what is this meant to be teaching me? I feel like my soul is this giant sponge just soaking up the energy of others to be nurtured into a more acceptable and loveable Maria❤

We are all interconnected and only together do we rise. Plug yourself into a soul tribe, learn from others and in turn gain an inner wisdom that is your own soul’s language. My dear reader’s that is what this down time has taught me. Whenever I am feeling resistance to what, specifically my partner whom I have been forced to be with 24/7 in a very small space is saying (at times shouting at me) I can go outside and say ah-ha!!! The stubborn Itialian girl inside needed to hear that. I needed to see that side of my own ego thinking to be able to accept that there is always another way of looking at the world 🤗

I feel very blessed to have so much quiet time lately. Tuning into my own natural rhythm and parsing out just what I make of the world around me. Going deeper. That is always my destination. As my son Ty would say, wow Mom that’s deep. Yes my dear it is and it’s only there that the truth lies. Whether I’m bouncing off the walls exercising, tap dancing or sun bathing in my backyard…..the Universe is constantly sending me affirmations and synchronization of prior messages as if to say “keep going, you are on the right path my dear.” As a devoted student of this spiritual journey, I bow my head and oblige 🙌

The things that have brought this naturally high vibe, extroverted and upbeat woman an abundance of peace has been maintaining my routine. Like my partner Lincoln asked once, “does spirituality take a day off?” In response I shook my head casually and said “Nope baby.” Everyday I open my eyes and charge forward with a real conviction to meet my soul wherever I am at and in that moment. Here is a small list of what I do before I begin interacting with the world around me:

Reading affirmations

Open Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening” to read that day’s passage

Putting the chakra balancing crystals upon my chakra points while I turn on the SoundHeal app, sitting quietly for 10-15 minutes in whichever frequency I feel suits me in that moment.

My holistic arsenal of essential oils and chakra balancing crystals

After that I grab my journal and pour out my thoughts without thinking, judging or stopping. I believe in free association writing in the morning so I can get in touch with whatever my soul is connecting with at that moment. My dear readers, I can’t express to you how much these practices have meant to me over the last 9 months and how much inner wisdom I have gained from allowing myself to go in whatever direction is necessary. Working up that spiritual muscle 💪is needed for when I am called into battle as the human vessel I embody in this life. It’s all gravy or a cherry on top, however one chooses to see it🍨

This morning I was served the first test of my patience as I awaited the test results from the Covid19 test I had administered to me on Tuesday. My brother in law drove my partner and I to a drive through testing facility in downtown Dallas where they stuck a q-tip up to my brain space quite literally to retrieve a sample of my mucus membranes. I was then told to wait 2-3 days for a phone call giving me the results. This morning at 8:22 AM I answered that call only to find out that the person who took down my information had made an error in documenting my address (yes, I know what you’re thinking dear readers, why wasn’t my driver’s license scanned digitally) Without being able to verify me properly, even by my driver’s license number (I offered it too) I would have to wait for a call back🙄

I’m not someone who accepts NO for an answer. So I went about calling any official number I could find, even finally speaking to a supervisor at the state of Texas board of health to not only tell them of my story but to ask how I retrieve the result. In the meantime, 5 plus hours of frustration ensued. My partner and I are quarantined in our small apartment with no hot water (that’s another story for another time) his mother and aunt who are elderly and immune deficient are alone in the main house without our help and his brother has been banished to a room in his house all because we don’t know for sure if  I have this dreaded virus 🤬

Houston we have a problem

One more avenue I exhausted was registering myself on the website of the lab who administered the test only to find out that there were no known lab results for me. As of 5:45 PM, the time I am writing this post, I still have no answers. At this point, can I trust the result to even be accurate?

I share all of this to express to you all that we truly have very little control over what happens in our world. Even when we follow the guidelines and do what we are instructed. The only real truth is what lies within our soul. There lies our true North star and whatever I find there is what God wants for me to know and understand. I trust in that. I am guided by love and driven by faith🙏

I will leave you with this my dear readers. After my morning of frustration and aggravation, I put on my favorite music and got my workout on!! Sweating out all the crap I can’t change or control. Dancing to my favorite tunes until I was thoroughly exhausted and expressed💃

Live your truth, express your soul because that’s all that matters 🙌❤

A great man who helped to shape the music industry in our world, Mr. Quincy Jones said this and I firmly agree…..”Not one drop of my self worth depends on your acceptance of me”

Spirituality

Love marathon

Out for a run today by the beach and it dawned on me that this world right now needs a huge boost of love❤ Our current situation with this virus is calling for a marathon of energy not a spirit my friends. Sending love out to you all, stay safe🥰

My loving intentions
My wish for the world 🙏

If anybody would like to reblog this please do

A poem with this intention can really help others and our world needs all the love it can get right now! We can never have to much love!!

Spirituality

Staying in the love vibration

Not matter the current circumstances my dear readers, I am choosing to reject all of the fear being pumped into our society currently. Despite the fact that it is Friday the 13th and the Coronavirus is threatening the health of millions, billions throughout all of humanity……keep in the love vibe. Please. Love is the highest and most powerful of all energy vibrations ❤

Here are eight helpful tips you can practice to keep love running through your mind, body and spirit 🥰

  1. Become conscious of your thoughts. Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality. We truly are our thoughts💭
  2. Find something beautiful and appreciate it. I do this through meditation and visualization.
  3. Be conscious of the foods you eat. Again, you are what you eat.
  4. Drink water and plenty of it. It’s the best way to rid the body of toxins
  5. Meditate. For at least 5 to 15 minutes every day. It’s a muscle that can be built over time, repetition and practice. I have been incorporating meditation into my daily routine for 10 years now and practicing yoga for 20. It’s never perfect but is progress in keeping myself balanced and centered 🧘‍♀️
  6. Be grateful. Especially with yourself. Show others kindness and practice the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated🙌
  7. Practice acts of kindness. Both random and intentional, our world needs this now more than ever✌
  8. Get your blood pumping by moving your body for at least 20 minutes daily. Why not smile while doing it too….studies show that smiling while exercising has an even more beneficial impact on your overall health in the long term 😁

No matter what, reject all fear. Stay in the love vibration ❤🙌


This morning my creative mind wanted to play around with different types of poetry formats. Tapping into my passionate heart and my ability to empathize, using compassion to understand humanity. My message here is to love one another now more than ever❤


Spirituality

Thoughts on happiness

My dear reader’s I have been having noticing a reoccurring confirmation from friends, mentors along with the messages I receive from the Universe regarding how to obtain lasting happiness. It boils down to this….. it’s definitely an inside job! Nothing external, meaning outside oneself, can make you happy and keep you that way. Boy oh boy has this been a tough lesson to learn for me. There are so many mixed messages out there especially when you are bombarded with advertising promising you that this product or that program will give you all you ever dreamed of along with happiness. It takes going beneath the surface of everything in our society to get the real answer on this one my dears🤔

I firmly believe that a connection to both a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, I chose to call it God and a deep connection with yourself is needed for inner peace and happiness. I myself disconnected from myself many years ago due to trauma and the increasing fear it inflicted upon my life. Over the years, I abandoned belief, trust and love of myself. When I was sexually molested as a child, I internalized that pain and blamed myself. I never told anybody about it so that wound just grew and grew😪

The beliefs I had then were screaming at me everytime something challenging came up like, “you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve that” and “you’re a failure so stop trying.” Either of these beliefs can be destructive to one’s self esteem but both of them wrecked havoc and destroyed my aspirations and dreams. Not to mention the times in my life when I have succumbed to a case of the “fuck its” and chose to be completely self destructive going scorched Earth with my life by quitting everything and everybody with no explanations and running away. I’ve done that too many times during my 42 years that I care to recall here🙄

I tell you dear readers all of this to be able to exclaim that those darker days are officially over! I have faced the pit of my issues, healing from sexual abuse over these past 10 months. I have been able to establish my management position at an amazing boutique downtown. I am about to self publish my second book of poetry. I have gone back into the dance studio and am loving class again. I have attended 2 poetry slams so far this year. I have an interview article coming out soon highlighting my writing career here in Dallas. These are my external accomplishments and achievements but what means more to me on an intimately personal and much deeper level is the acceptance of myself and living authentically every damn day with no apologies. I now know true inner peace😊

My perspective

It’s a major shift of perspective for me to realize that only I can advance or derail my success in life. The main ingredient for this depends on your level of self love. Since June, I have been treating myself a whole heck of a lot better. I’m my own best friend and caregiver. It will still be a work in progress but the internal dialogue with myself, the many parts of me that clammer for attention like my inner child which is still wounded at times, my ego (thinking mind), my instinctive personality (INFJ) and then my intuition which is my highest self’s voice and my soul has reached a point where I can recognize each of these bits of Maria so that I can make decisions based upon my best interests. This is a humungous difference from the previous years of my adulthood! I can honestly say the more I pause to decide how to respond to life’s ebbs and flows, the more I can differentiate between the many facets of me!

For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of being off work and enjoying some much needed free time. I have been listening to 963 Hz tone frequency on the SoundHeal app during my meditation time. At this frequency I’m stimulating and balancing the Sahasrara, thousand petaled or crown chakra. This is generally considered the 7th primary chakra which is the energy center for understanding according to most tantric yoga traditions. It can be used to attain a state of Nivana-oneness. This frequency returns the system to its original state. It is said that when a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, the energy of consciousness, to this chakra the state of Nirvikalpa Samodhi is experienced. Ah….yessssss🧘‍♀️

Well all I can tell you is due to my sensitivity I have been experiencing some amazing benefits from using this frequency. Today, I felt filled with energy. So much so that I went for a long run/walk that amounted to my own personal marathon! I used my MapRun app to track my time/distance/pace and honestly, I didn’t turn it on from the beginning so add another 3 miles to this total…..I completed 27 1/2 miles today 🏃‍♀️

Maria’s marathon 🏃‍♀️

Along the way I was singing out loud to my favorite female 90s pop icons like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I even took a detour to the swings and satisfied little Maria’s love for swinging! It was a welcome break from the path and I must admit felt so fantastic🥰 I just love the exhilarating feeling I get from pumping my legs in order to get as high as I can reach on a swing! This particular swing set is located around mile 8 or so on the running trail that circles White Rock Lake. I observed some very picturesque moments that I captured like these birds sitting in the trees over the lake.

I just adore the feeling I get being out in nature by myself. I feel so alive and whole as is evident in this selfie I took 😎

Hey y’all 🤗

I saw this sentiment near the elevators on a floor of the hotel I work inside a few days ago and quickly snapped a picture of it as inspiration for this post. I agree with Ms. Turner 100%

Lastly, this one sums it up quite honestly and definitely reflects where I am today on my journey. Love, light & peace ❤🌠✌

Where I’m at😉

Spirituality

I love you

Just finished watching “The trial of Gabriel Fernandez” on Netflix which is a horrific account of child abuse, torture and murder at the hands of his own mother and her boyfriend. It got me thinking about how much I love people. Life is so precious and short so I want to tell you all, I love you❤ Let’s make an effort to show each other more love and kindness because it’s so needed in this world today!

From me to you 😉✌

In other news, I am really excited to be taking an adult tap class tonight! It’s been a good ten years, probably more since I have taken a proper tap class! It’s definitely honoring my inner child so little Maria is thrilled to get her tap shoes laced up again💃

I need to carve out some writing time so I can share with you my dear readers all about my son’s visit here. Spoiler alert** he wants to move here!!

Mental health, Spirituality

To love is to live

My dear readers, have you ever woke up to a certain song stuck in your head? I did this morning and the way my mind works I’m always so curious as to where it came from. I grew up with my mother playing a lot of John Denver and American folk music in our house. The song that popped in and kept replaying was “Annie’s song”. That’s still one of my Mother’s favorites and I must admit mine too. Whenever I hear it I want to run through a brighly colored meadow or hike up a mountain. The whimsical visions that are sparked in my mind are so clearly an ode to love and nature. Lately, it’s a love affair with myself and my new found self love Imthat I’m so interested in exploring. I envision myself holding hands with my younger self running through that meadow and the look on the face of that little girl inside me.

Life has a way within its ebbs and flow to present me with what I need to consider more of and work on when it cones to either delving deeper into shadow work or exploring more and caring for my inner child. Lately, it’s the latter I have been being reminded of. I’m not sure if I have published my real name yet on this blog but it’s Maria. My full given birth name is Maria Teresa Pratico. Little Maria has been begging for my attention lately and wants to be nurtured. My legal last name is Swanson and I chose to not change that when I went through my divorce because I wanted my boys to see us as still being a family. Now i choose to use my maiden name because it resonates more within me. The Swanson in me was a robotic force and Pratico is more of my true identity.

After the realization I had in June of the abuse that I suffered it’s like a whole new part of me has been awakened and is demanding my attention. I must tell you my dear readers, my own years of therapy, the countless books and articles I have read on processing emotions has taught me that when our feelings are not properly realized and our emotional moods go unexpressed, over time it creates a real issue that just continues to hold us more and more captive. This is especially true when it comes to trauma, the more we stuff and repress the harder and heavier our bodies get holding onto that energy. That’s what having sessions of EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy has helped me to release. However, there are other ways my inner child wants to be recognized and reparented in order to fully integrate her into my body. In his book, “The body keeps the score,” Bessel van der Kolk writes about unresolved trauma from a neuroscience perspective and explains why traumatized people experience incomprehensible anxiety, inexplicable numbing and intolerable rage, and how trauma impacts concentration, memory, and the ability to form trusting relationships. These are symptoms that our bodies display because it’s been holding onto that energy, trapped in our body.

For so much of my life, I operated in an auto-pilot unconscious state of being. Now it feels like I was almost two separate people. The me before and the me now. I wasn’t awake, I lacked self love, self confidence, I doubted myself in almost every situation and really I can admit I wasn’t really living! I held myself back so much by choosing to focus more on other people’s feelings and emotions, their problems in hopes that if I could fix them I would be loved. Now I know that the only person who can give me the full attention, fulfillment and happiness I crave is me. It’s not an external process and doesn’t come from material things. I feel like I’m really living and in doing so I am living out loud, unapologetically and on purpose. Speaking my mind and my truth in my loudest voice whether or not it makes some people uncomfortable and disagree with me…all of it! If you don’t like it, look away and step out of my way because nobody will become my next excuse for not taking care of myself or stopping me now. At 42 years old, I have stifled myself for far too long and it’s my time to shine!

With it being a new year and a brand new decade, I made a promise with myself to do the things that made me uncomfortable. Right now this includes getting more and more comfortable with uncomforbility. I started recording video confessionals on my social media that I call, Maria’s Musings. I’ve never been a fan of myself in pictures and video because I’m so critical of my looks and my voice. No more!! I even record myself without makeup, dressed in my pajamas or workout clothes. It’s me being me and loving myself every step of the way. You can find me on Instagram @emotionalmusings. I checked off a goal on my vision board too by doing my first poetry slam over the weekend. I performed my poem, “Glimpses” which is a tribute to my dear Nana who is now one of my spirit guides who appears to me as a butterfly🦋

“Glimpses”
For my Nana

The new me has confused some people in my world and one person in particular is my partner. He gets upset with my new and total focus on myself at times because he is so used to me putting others, like him first. This has created a lot of friction between us. In the last five months we have argued more than the last six and a half years of our entire relationship together! I have disclosed in previous posts that he is also someone living with severe mental illness stemming from traumatic brain injuries and the many concussions he sustained while playing professional football.

https://www.dallasobserver.com/news/lincoln-coleman-former-cowboys-running-back-struggles-with-effects-of-head-trauma-10983207

Another harsh reality he faces are the facts that have been well publicized about the connection between traumatic brain injuries and CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy)which is a neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated head injuries. The symptoms may include behavioral problems, mood problems, and problems with thinking. These symptoms typically do not begin until years after the injuries. CTE often gets worse over time and can result in dementia.

It’s creates quite a challenge for him as he has watched many players die or commit suicide by shooting themselves in the heart so that their brains can be studied. Recently, he lost another player to suicide and when he told me, the look in his eyes rattled me to my core in a very deep way. Our connection and bond is so strong and to think of losing him in anyway but especially in that way terrifies me! Then I start examining everything he is doing and saying in a more critical way. The empath in me has had to learn how to actively block him so I don’t get caught up in his energy and thoughts.

Lately, it’s all been too much for me and my own regularly shifting fast moving energy collided and had in a way a head on collision with his energy and BAM! Making life decisions based in fear is never a good idea and results in undesirable outcomes. It’s my nature to love and accept others. That must include both myself currently and his reality too. All of that became entirely too much to handle last week. We had a bad blowout that resulted in both of us saying things we didn’t mean and I ended our relationship.

I also allowed this overly active fear and emotional state to spill over into my job as a manager for a dear friend of mine’s boutique. Without going into details, I did something that I shouldn’t have that could of put the business in jeopardy. My emotional state had me not thinking straight when I made this mistake. Then I went further into crash and burn mode by telling her I was quitting and gave my two weeks notice abruptly and without any warning which hurt my girlfriend’s feelings badly. I know now what I did could’ve had irreparable damage to their livelihood and our great friendship. Taking stock of the situation took some serious sole searching on my part. The will to listen and quiet my own fears so that I wasn’t acting so selfishly and considered all sides of the situation. I’m praying for a positive outcome to my apology.

Living in fear is like being backed into a corner, triggering me to feel scared, helplessness and confused just as I did during the abuse I suffered. As I continue to heal, these parts of me are lying dangerously close to the surface and my own current reality. They at times become twisted up and entangled in a way that clouds my decision making and has me wanting to escape. This is by no means an excuse, it’s my reality and I’m addressing it head on.

I want to share with you dear readers the importance of addressing what you need to in life because we only get one shot at living. Life is precious and short. I’m someone who wanted to pull the plug by cutting my own short because living was so painful and I felt the only way out was death. A permanent solution to a temporary problem. Learning to love myself and having the ability to love another person, despite terrifying circumstances shows strength, resilience and most of all courage. Summoning that courage took the abity for me to use pain as a motivator not as a roadblock. I admit, I don’t always make clearheaded decisions concerning my life. I have the tendency to want to blow up my life and throw the towel in and say FUCK IT ALL!

Not giving into these urges is hard for me because my natural tendency has been conditioned to not focus on my own uncomfortable or challenging feelings of fear, anger and sadness. I stuff, numb and dissociate from them just like I did in childhood during the abuse. It was easier to put my mind in another place and numb out. It’s our bodies defense, protecting our brains from the highest levels of anxiety and circuit overload. I now know this coping mechanism no longer serves me and I must change that maladaptive pattern before it continues to wreck havoc in my world today.  Following inner compass suits my life and decision making much better!

Choosing to love and remain in love is hard during these fearful moments but if I want to live, I must love. I have also been programmed to find pleasure in pain. I have been noticing that when typing a lot I tend to type live instead of love. That’s what sparked me to start investigating this vital connection between loving and living. In order for me to consistently maintain my happiness, I must choose to love in order to keep living. The abuse is over. The little girl who experienced that rauma is grown. I have learned a better way to live. I can make better choices. When I fall down and make the same mistakes my from past, I can now recognize them and correct them by taking responsibility for my words and actions by choosing to not blow up my life. If it’s one thing I have learned it’s that the grass is never greener.

I choose to accept my partner’s prognosis and conditions because when taking stock of the pros and cons of our relationship, the pros undoubtedly outweigh the cons. More on that in upcoming posts my dear readers. Once I can snap myself back into my body, I can easily recognize this. When I was high in emotion mind, I wrote this poem. Thankfully for me writing is such a great outlet. One I need to rely upon more so I don’t actively allow fear into the driver’s seat unnecessarily.

Mental health, Spirituality

The art of allowing love is magic

Oh love, what a complicated and fickle pursuit it can be! My dear readers I have come into such an abundance of love’s pure energy flow lately and so far my new year is as bright and shiny as my spirit is. Last Monday I expierenced my third vision, out in nature, which I just love. Awe inspiring and breathtakingly beautiful! Looking up at the sky now holds more meaning for me than ever before. As I continue to heal and push through obstacles, one solution remains constant and true and that is love. When we allow love to flow freely throughout our entire being it frees us from our problems and allows us to be closer to Source and Divine power.

In keeping with my daily rituals while always setting the intention to allow a steady stream of unconditional love to flow through I am reminded to surrender. Love presents a polarity between weakness and strength. When we are in love we are vulnerable because we are putting our heart out there and there’s always a possibility we might be hurt or let down. Yet when we do this, we are showing strength in our belief that we deserve and want love. Accessing superior energy, which is God (or whatever higher power you believe in) we are able to look inward and feel that essence inside of us. It’s there in abundance dear readers. I know this to be true because I kept myself closed off from it for years. My intuition was quiet almost inaudible, barely being listened to. Now, ten years into this spiritual and self healing journey, it is loud and clear.

The first step was learning to love myself and to do that I had to figure a few things out. Understanding where I had been, why I was here and what was my soul’s purpose became goals that had me reading anything in the spiritual realm I could get my hands on. Seeking out therapists, taking medications for a time (15 years to be exact) to heal from the severe traumas I had experienced, attending outpatient therapies like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). Getting my mind right as the kids say, was a painstaking process that has instilled patience with myself into my core. None of this happens overnight 🤯

Along this journey I learned some powerful tools that I incorporate into my daily self care practices. Meditation is hugely vital to my well being and allows me quiet reflection and observation space to my rapidly shifting thoughts. Listening to binaural sounds at varying frequencies allows me to hear my spirit guides better and receive messages from them. We all have these angels all around us and last week Universe gifted me an angel orchestra of them during my vision. I have been asking for a sign to show me they were here and as I gazed up into the big blue sky while the moon was showing herself, all of a sudden I saw hundreds of twinkling white lights! Immediately I knew that they were my guides saying hello. I was filled with an indescribable sense of comfort and warmth while tears streamed down my face, it was one of the most beautiful sights to behold.

After that, my week continued to unfold in both positive and painful ways. I have come to a point in my life where I can see the beauty and purpose within pain. It’s my body’s signal and way of teaching me what I need to heal from, let go, accept and turn into strength. It’s like magic when you think about it that way. I’m no masochist, I no longer engage in self denial and I don’t seek out pain on purpose. I do however believe pain is one of our greatest teachers. Over my 42 years, I have experienced an incredible amount of pain and heartache that I know now served its purpose in instilling a deep love and kindness for my fellow humans and all living things for that matter.

When you allow love in you understand it’s the only truth

I was drawn to do some inner child healing too last week which used to scare me because it was painful to look at. Now that I feel more in tune with my own emotions, loving myself in this way allows me to reparent the little me inside. Planning for and scheduling activities that bring out my childhood essence is really important for my continued growth, self integration and evolvement. These include talking to myself, dancing, going out in nature, painting, listening to music and singing along. Playing around with sounds like chanting, even swinging on a swing! That was my favorite activity as a child, I always felt like I was flying so high and free.

Remembering this part of me allows me to be my own hero and rescue myself which is hugely empowering. I write letters to my younger self at different ages reminding her she is no longer alone and is seen, heard and loved. It’s again, a kind of magic when those old stories that ran through my head telling me I’m not good enough or I am too much, too sensitive get triggered to start playing and now this new more calming and comforting voice is heard in their absence. Reparenting myself is a huge gift to not only me but those who love me and are in my life can see a big shift in my outlook and self confidence. Isn’t it amazing how music can fill the shallow parts of our souls allowing us this wonderful connection with who we are?

As an empath, I have lived most of my life distracted and focused upon other’s feelings and thoughts while neglecting my own. Honestly, my own were scary to me and overwhelming so I neglected them in favor of trying to save or rescue another. I can also admit that even during my current relationship with my fiance, there have been many many times that I looked to him to save me. Finally, I understand that only I can save me. I am responsible for my own happiness and the inner joy I feel is fueled by such self love and gratitude for the lessons I’ve learned. I have no regrets and I wouldn’t change a minute of my life thus far.

My main goal for this year has been to put myself out there more by releasing my inhibitions once and for all. I have forced myself to do more video confessionals that I post on my social media @emotionalmusings on both Instagram and Facebook. I hoped to attend my first poetry slam where I would perform one of my most personal poems, “Glimpses”this past Friday. My words are like my children and it both terrifies and excites me to share them on a stage. Unfortunately the weather here in Dallas kept me from attending but it turns out Universe is granting me another opportunity to do it this Friday because I have the night off from work!! YAY😊

I also reached out to a dear fellow empath friend @emilyrainbowglo on Instagram to ask her if she would want to do a collaboration with me, a live chat for our fellow empaths to feel empowered by and learn from. I was thrilled with the outcome of our conversation yesterday, it was seamless! It’s still available for a few more hours if you dear readers would like to hear what we had to talk about. It’s based around love and surrendering to it, allowing in self love and care so that we can protect our precious spirit and gifts while being open to receiving messages from the Universe. I have also asked another healer and dear friend of mine if I could join her on her new podcast. I will keep you dear readers in the loop of when that happens but for now you can follow her on Instagram @comealivewithchrissymarie and her podcast on Spotify is called, “The Art of Aliveness”. I will post the link below so you can check her out too.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7aiqLKqwfl9Z4KkjLllPe8?si=Aw8ANxUhRnW3cLMg1WzGjA

I have made up my mind that this year, 2020 is the year I stop holding myself back. I have done just that for one reason or another for the last 40 years and finally, FINALLY I feel strong enough to put my hand ✋ up to anything or anybody that tries to have me go back into a box or wants to label me, stifle my spirit….no thank you!! I am determined to let my free spirit soar as high as I can fly! I also did a confessional for a company I represent by sharing my story. I have it published here as a post under, “My journey with BodHD,” but I will also drop the link below so it can be accessed here too.

I wrote this poem last night that really expresses my love and gratitude to the elements, the Universe that has held me in its loving arms, nurturing my spirit even when I was neglecting it and continued to show to love and acceptance. That little voice has always been there giving me the strength to never give up. Whatever pushes you along my dear readers, keep doing it. Don’t let anything stop you, ever. Shine and allow the world your gifts. Never give up. I am a forever friend to all and I appreciate your support, follows and likes. You can always reach out to me, I love to listen. You too can “Triumph over Trauma “😊💪💜

The elements that make me who I am