Yesterday was a glorious day for my family and I as we bid our final farewell to my Dad. My Mom was especially happy to hold this memorial service in their Catholic church 45 years to the day they had their first date. I was extremely honored to be the representative from the family to give the eulogy which included the poem I wrote “Daddy” just hours before he passed on November 24, 2020. This was the closure we all needed and the homecoming my Dad deserved.
We continued the celebration of my Dad’s life with an Italian fest fit for the king he is, a luncheon that was held at his favorite restaurant which included family and close friends, about twenty people. My older sister flew in from Utah and my oldest brother drove down from Orlando. It was especially great to all be together again since we have all been separated by the pandemic. We laughed and we shed tears. We all shared our favorite memories of my Dad. I was so comforted by my family yesterday and it felt so good to be with the people I love the most. My partner is here (FINALLY) and he was and is my rock, grounding me through the grieving process. I’m so grateful and blessed to have these people in my life when I need them the most. My gratitude includes my dear friends that are scattered across the country and in other places around the world who have sent condolences with love including so many of you my dear readers. From the bottom of my heart, your love means so much to me. Connection is a key in healing because we all experience loss. This is a time we need to lean on each other.
I took this video of myself dancing hours before my partner’s arrival. I absolutely adore Janis Joplin’s style and fiery vocals. My partner often remarks on how I remind him of her so I felt it fitting to dance in tribute to her and my love for all of humanity. I put a piece of my heart into every creative thing I do. If I don’t feel passionate about it, I simply don’t do it. Life is precious and I intend to make the most of my time here doing what I love to do most which is expressing the depths of my creative soul in light and love!
In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77 paypal.me/tinyd9
Imagine your being as a mirror, what are you reflecting out into the world? Are you living authentically, heart centered and open or are you closed, in fear and driven by the chaos. Finding a balance in between the two is where peace lies. Living by my soul’s purpose shows me the ways in which I can adjust my mirror on a daily basis so that I can be the best me possible and shine my bright light of love, my mirror upon others.
Humans were built for community, we need one another to grow and learn from. Some lessons are more challenging than others. This week has been a particularly emotional one for me as the waves of grief wash over me, processing the loss of my Dad was my main focus again. We heal in cycles my dear ones, being forever brought back to the places we need to go deeper into acceptance of. It all serves and healing never ceases. While riding my bike back and forth to the beach twice this week, about thirty miles or so altogether, I found myself repeating this mantra:
“I acknowledge, I surrender, I release, I accept”
There are no mute or pause buttons that are helpful for processing deep emotions. The best choice is to practice what these words mean, to heed their lesson. Awareness is the name of the game. I am all of what I feel by accepting whatever is coming up, leaning into it and dancing with its message. The medicine I choose is always love. The person who is responsible for loving all of me, is me. I retreat to the beach and allow the healing light of the Sun to work his magic. I also brought along some tiger’s eye crystals that are great for helping to release fear and anxiety and aids in achieving harmony and balance within. It stimulates taking action, and helps you to make decisions with discernment and understanding, becoming unclouded by your emotions. Practicing patience by surrendering to and allowing whatever shows up to wash through until a clear decision is reached.
The app I use to create my poems is called Mirakee. Every day they ask the members to participate in creating a poem from a word prompt. It’s a fun way of writing and I am usually surprised at what flows out. The word that prompted this poem was”to write a poem based on our zodiac sign”. This poem “Firefly” is a celebration of those like me who are born under the zodiac sign of Sagittarius. Here’s to the wild, adventurous and freedom loving fellow Sagittarians!
In times like this I find it’s important to be extra gentle with myself and I practice this by breathing consciously and scheduling time for extra meditation. This week I was guided to focus on my heart chakra a bit more. This is the area of our body where most of us neglect and is the root cause for conditions like heart disease to manifest. Slowing down and paying closer attention to our hearts, while quieting the mind is essential to our well-being my dear readers. I invite you to tap into your heart and heal whatever comes up. This is where our truth lies.
Finally, as the God centered being I am, I turn to His lessons of love for all of creation, unity, harmony and balance. His grace and mercy are readily available to each and every one of us, believers and non believers alike. When we can tap into a power greater than ourselves it’s amazing what we can find. Call it the Universe, Mother Nature or God (I see them all as one force) When I can become still within this vibration, the great I AM comes forth and heals my soul. It is within each of us, supporting us, existing in all of nature that surrounds us. This belief soothes me most of all. And so it is. Amen. Amen. Amen.
In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77 paypal.me/tinyd9
In two days I will celebrate my 43rd birthday and in light of where we are in this pandemic, it’s looking like I will be ringing in this one without the love of my life. I’m not going to sugarcoat my feelings, after everything I have experienced this year, I have hit my breaking point with patience. I’m incredibly sad and disappointed that we can’t be together. I also thought this was an opportunity to share with you my dear ones the mixture of emotions I’m experiencing right now. I always say,”if you can feel it, you can heal it”. Currently, as I revealed in my last post, I’m surfing the waves of intense emotions impacted by heartache and loss. I know intuitively that this time in my life will teach me more about my journey and I will be ok. Right at this moment however, I am not ok. If you all know me by now, I wear my heart’s vulnerability out loud and on my sleeve. This post is me. Present moment. Rainbow of feelings.
I woke up Saturday morning with a spring in my step and a feeling of exuberance. The weather here was gloriously sunny and I headed out for a run. As I listened to my playlist featuring some favorite tunes from my teenage years, I was hit with a strong sense of nostalgia and soul. I stopped off at a coffee shop to write this poem that was bursting from my heart to be heard.
A few hours later, as the darkness of night approached, I felt the pangs of sorrow over the loss both my Mom and I are experiencing. Being an intuitive empath can be tricky when I’m surrounded by energy I know isn’t solely my own. Obviously, my Mom is heartbroken by the loss of my Dad, her life partner for 44 years. She has also been dealing with having contracted COVID-19 herself and has been bed ridden. I am safe and have thankfully tested negative. The past two weeks have truly been a challenge for both of us. Before I fell asleep Saturday night, I penned this poem which articulates the grief both of us are feeling.
Yesterday, I checked out by calling a mental health day for myself and didn’t get out of bed. Since the beginning of 2020, I haven’t taken many days off. More specifically, since becoming a shaman in September, I have taken exactly 0 days off. Yesterday, I binged Netflix and ate some of my favorite snack foods. I napped for hours. I kept to myself. It was awesome. This morning I awoke to rain here in South Florida. I decided to share this video of myself on all my social media platforms which is featured in the introduction of my latest book, “My Soul’s Light”. This is me, Maria Teresa, aka Ladysag77. I am a survivor who is thriving after facing many challenges throughout my life. I view the world in an unique way. I’m living my soul’s purpose and feeling my authentic spirit for the 1st time. Life is a gift. It’s never easy yet I choose to see the extreme beauty and be grateful for the many blessings I have. When you walk where I’ve been my dears, you learn to appreciate the gift of presence. I’m here and I’m alive. I make no apologies for who I am. I love myself and I hope to inspire others by my life’s testimony of healing.
In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
I may write an original tomorrow. I’m being gentle and compassionate towards myself during this cycle of grief I’m surfing. Namaste my dear ones❤
Artwork by George Redhawk If you are reading these words, and relate to the material in this blog, you are a pioneer of change. Your outer life may not seem to reflect that truth, and that’s because the changes have been inner ones. And as we know, real change begins at inner levels. Most people […]
This has been a very monumental week for me my dear readers. I completed the coursework for my role as a shamanic healer and energy practitioner to an abundance of blessings from the great Divine itself. I have completed two of my healing sessions, one for my teacher Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna and one for my son Ty. Each one felt so familiar yet different because Lindsey’s was conducted virtually over Instagram video chat and Ty’s was in person. I now can say with certainty that I was a shaman in a past life and that I worked with Lindsey in one of them. We have reunited in this life for great things, a purpose that is ever unfolding and so intimately beautiful. I get emotional just thinking about how much she means to me on so many levels, a sister, a mentor, a teacher and a dear kindred spirit friend.
This week for me is what defines a full circle moment. Just one year ago I felt so profoundly lost in my own emotional trauma while reliving the past I thought I had buried when I discovered Lindsey on Instagram and reached out to her for healing. Little did I know how deeply impactful that action would reflect upon my life today! We have completed many sessions together for my own healing and now she has taught me about the art of shamanism in a one on one course each week for the past 2 months that she herself admitted to taking years to grasp and understand because she developed herself, solo. Believe me my dear readers, these past few months have been a whirlwind of change, all necessary and quite painful at times. Since I committed to learn from her, I made a promise to myself to never give up knowing that I deserved to do this for myself. I took the first real and definitive step to create something that I can’t truly define by words only feelings. This process has meant so much to me and to my spirituality my dear readers, a homecoming. A return to oneness and to myself.
It all makes sense now, why I know the things that I know, see and feel so differently from other people. Especially why I cut myself off from these messages and gifts for most of my life. It was out of an overwhelming fear. God sent me on a journey in which I have learned from and now see beauty in. All of the pain, struggle and heartache was for this reason. The path of the wounded healer. Shamans are anointed and initiated in this way, forged in the fire. Embracing the I AM mantra and believing that I can overcome what is holding me back took years of diligence, practice and loss as well as hope, faith and of course a strong reliance upon God. Nothing is possible without my ultimate belief in Him, the creator of all. Our Universe and everything within is intricately dependent and created by God.
Recently I took part in a a fun word prompt challenge on the app that I use to create my poems, Mirakee. Happy 4 years in creation to them by the way! The challenge asked to write a poem on how we would like to be remembered after we have passed. Death is inevitable my dears even though I can admit to once feeling scared of it because it brought such devastating sadness along with it for the ones left in its wake. I now understand that we are all part of God’s master plan, the circle of life. I believe one’s spirit never dies and is reincarnated through human existence itself following the purpose that God chose in it’s creation. Remembering mine has brought me so much happiness, joy, inner peace and harmony. Here is the poem I created for the challenge.
I use different tarot decks for daily guidance and this is the card I pulled today which I greeted with a knowing smile.
Writing has been a tool I have leaned on for personal development and understanding my entire life. In this past year, the poems I write are channeled messages from the archangels, most specifically Michael, Raphael and Gabriel. The holy trinity of messengers as all three are my spiritual guides that I feel in my life daily. They in tandem with my spirit animals tug at my soul strings and show me in the most intimate of ways messages from Divine. While I was in session with Lindsey, I felt as though Maria stepped aside and Serena (what I call my soul) stepped forward to provide the healing. Ultimate acceptance and internal permission to be a conduit in this way is the main idea and the theme of this poem.
I’ve awakened from a deep slumber of dissociation and detachment from my authentic spirit my dear readers. Healing isn’t always pretty and nice but the rewards are priceless and the love I feel within my own being combined with the love I have for all of humanity paints my world in technicolor! I’ve often referred to being an empath in this way, feeling and seeing the world in a deeply vibrant hue at all times. It once kept me locked in the jaws of fear, fear of myself which caused utter and complete confusion. Now I understand it.
I have 40 hours of apprenticeship hours to complete before my final certification. Besides having my children and becoming a mother, I have never wanted something more for myself. I’ve written before on here how I have never held a career in the traditional sense besides that of a caregiver. This role of a healer is the ultimate in care giving with the greatest level of responsibility that I could ever have imagined. I’m simultaneously humbled and honored to heal others through the art of shamanism. My journey has reached a new road, one that I take with a pep in my step and a grace I have practiced my whole life. Thank you God for seeing me worthy. I’m eternally grateful.