Since returning from Idaho less than one week ago, I can’t stress enough to you my dear readers how monumental a shift I feel now that I’ve officially been anointed a shaman! It’s quite disorienting mostly and I find myself just wanting to be in solitude and in nature. The energy where I live is toxic and not a vibrational match therefore, I find myself very distracted by thoughts and feelings I know aren’t mine. Shout out to the other empaths and psychics out there because you all know what I mean.
My partner and I have plans to move soon yet in the meantime my patience in wearing thin. Today I’m experiencing a lot of the pain of being human my dears. I’ve been patiently awaiting my partner’s arrival since May. I know why we needed to be separated during my apprenticeship and now that it’s over, time is standing still! I know I’m divinely protected and that this chapter here where I live is ending soon. Today however, I’m just plain over it🤪
I rallied and had a good talking with myself. I hopped on my bike and took the longer, more scenic route to the beach. After I arrived I felt 100% better, much more present and focused. I want to share with you some of my latest poems. This reintegration process is a challenge I wasn’t expecting. I understand all I can control is my reaction to my current situation. I must admit I often find myself daydreaming about how wonderful it was to be in Idaho, with a woman who is my soul family and who understands me more than any other human being ever. Plus, the energy there was so chill. I’ve always felt as though South Florida has been my 2nd home after New Jersey. Now I want to experience life on the west coast. I’m over the fast paced, in your face vibe that is prevalent here. I believe my time on this coast is up!
I’m so blessed to find myself in a place where I’m not tied to anything so that making my next move feels exciting. The opposite of how many of my moves have felt in the last ten years. This one is 100% my choice, not a “have to” but a “want to”. I’ve had so many loving and supportive people around me that have graciously taken me in while I healed all areas of my life over the past 9 years. Financially I haven’t been ready to be on my own again since the divorce was finalized in 2012. It’s been a long 8 years of living with others, out of suitcases and boxes. I’m ready to claim my own life again and this is a feeling and a opportunity I haven’t had for quite some time.
In the past few days, I took full advantage of the glorious sunshine and low humidity. Here are the poems I wrote, based in observation of both my surroundings and my internal story. As always my dear readers, so much love💚🌱
Feel free to reach out to me via this link to book a healing session, request a tarot card reading or purchase any of my 3 books of poetry😊
This is The Great Awakening my dear readers. My fellow empaths, lightworkers and I have been preparing for this for sometime now. I know I felt two major shifts inside my own body months ago. Since then, I have written many posts about the visions I experience outside in Mother Nature’s glorious landscape. Most of the messages and signs I receive come from either the Sun or Moon. We have a Supermoon in Libra taking place now through Wednesday. I am also grateful to have received a much needed energy clearing today.
I didn’t have too many irregularities out of the normal. No damage to my aura field but I did need a tune up on what I am receiving. Since it’s been either so cloudy, overcast or raining here, I haven’t had very many chances to sit outside in this past week to see what nature is teaching me. Before the weather moved in, one creature I was noticing more often than the others and is standing out from everything else in my backyard are the birds! An abundance of beautiful silence is there and I just lay in my lounge chair, staring up at the sky and trees. The many different fruit and nut trees attract quite an array of differing species although one in particular seems to be frequently reoccurring and visiting a tree close by to where I sit. It hassles any other bird that attempts to get near me. I have always had a way with animals in general. It’s like we communicate an unspoken language.
They say a cardinal is a sign from the spirit of a passed loved one. I have written many times on here about my dear Nana because she is my largest, brightest and most communicative guide. She is reminding me to look deeper within, remember the spiritual warrior I am. I have been having dreams about my past lives and just who my spirit was before this body I now inhabit. I have also noticed some nudges from her to start reading my Akashic Records. More on that in future posts but for now I want to share with you her most recent message to me my dear readers😉
Before my session yesterday, I felt called to write this short phrase at the bottom of my notebook and I made a note to incorporate it into a painting. It wasn’t until after the session was over that I picked up my paints and just started painting that cardinal I keep seeing outside. It has also landed quite close to my chair on the ground while staring at me as if to say, “keep going my dear, you are on the right path.”
I don’t have my new laptop yet so I write this entire blog and my poetry with a touch pen on my cell my dear readers. I never pass up a chance to notice a synchronic message and as I was writing this post, a subscription service I belong to for Dr. Nicole LePera aka The Holistic Psychologist popped up containing this message.
The creative process for me usually unfolds like this. I receive images or words, sometimes both at once and I scramble to find a pen and my notebook of ideas. My poems I have written about before my dear readers come out very quickly, like I’m reading words off a white board. Lately, I have felt inclined to put some of my favorite music on. This reminds me of how I processed my creativity as an older teenager from 16 through my early twenties. Here’s what I was listening to this evening.
I have always been a huge fan of The Beatles. I raised both of my boys on their lullaby instrumental arrangements and when they were old enough to enjoy “The Yellow Submarine” I had many picture books for them explaining the Fab Four’s tripped out submarine adventure and of course we owned the DVD. We also had “Magical Mystery Tour” on repeat while we danced, laughed and sang along to it in our kitchen💃 Currently I’m playing the most recent playlist by The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inspired by their career defining hits on Spotify. No surprise when this tune came on🎼🎶
I feel restored, rejuvenated and like I received a huge hug from Source. Our Universe is carrying us all through this time my dear readers. All of this is meant to happen and needs to usher in a whole new way of life. Trust in it. Look within and connect with your soul and with unconditional love in your heart it will set you free🌠🦋
I keep writing this and I will again now, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, INTERCONNECTED AND JOINED AS ONE….HUMANITY. WHAT HAPPENS TO ONE OF US AFFECTS US ALL AS A WHOLE. SPREAD KINDNESS AND LOVE BECAUSE IT TAKES LITTLE EFFORT AND IS WHAT WE ALL NEED RIGHT NOW🙏❤
Ah my dear readers, here we all are…..at home. My fiance and I are sharing space here in our small apartment which at times seems smaller than it really is if you know what I mean🤪 Thankfully the weather here in Dallas has been absolutely gorgeous, sunshine with crystal clear blue skies allowing me to spend a lot of time in my backyard by myself. Feeling one with nature as I sit in self reflection. Here is some of the beauty Mother nature has shared with me over the past 2 days….
Just last evening at dusk while I was gazing up at this tree in my neighbor’s backyard….I came up with this poem📝
I have been using my free time quite constructively, squeezing all of the creative juices I can muster into my passions. I made pasta primavera for lunch and then afterwards I felt inclined to lace up my tap dance shoes for a bit of toe tapping💃
I’ve told y’all before that I am a Jersey girl, half Italian, Puerto Rican and Venezuelan with a splash of Polish. During these uncertain times we must keep our spirits up and tap our toes to the rhythm of our soul….mine’s extra seasoned y’all💃🤗❤✌
This post focuses on the lighter side of this forced down time aka 24/7 with my partner. Honestly it hasn’t always been a ball of laughter and smiles. Tomorrow I plan on writing a more serious and insightful post that looks at how very challenging this time has been for my fiance and I. It’s been over eighteen months since we have had this much down time AND spent this much time with each other with no reprieve. As much as we love each other….oh boy have we both gotten in each other’s space in an annoying way 🙄 Lincoln holds the title of being the only man I have ever allowed get close enough to me to even urk my nerves. But that’s for tomorrow’s post my dear readers.
For tonight, let me leave you with this. This is what is printed across the shirt that I’m wearing in the tap dancing video:
GIVE LOVE ❤ SHARE LAUGHTER 🤣 GROW PLANTS 🌱 FIND PEACE ✌ CHASE DREAMS 🌠 SPREAD HOPE🙏
My dear reader’s I have been having noticing a reoccurring confirmation from friends, mentors along with the messages I receive from the Universe regarding how to obtain lasting happiness. It boils down to this….. it’s definitely an inside job! Nothing external, meaning outside oneself, can make you happy and keep you that way. Boy oh boy has this been a tough lesson to learn for me. There are so many mixed messages out there especially when you are bombarded with advertising promising you that this product or that program will give you all you ever dreamed of along with happiness. It takes going beneath the surface of everything in our society to get the real answer on this one my dears🤔
I firmly believe that a connection to both a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, I chose to call it God and a deep connection with yourself is needed for inner peace and happiness. I myself disconnected from myself many years ago due to trauma and the increasing fear it inflicted upon my life. Over the years, I abandoned belief, trust and love of myself. When I was sexually molested as a child, I internalized that pain and blamed myself. I never told anybody about it so that wound just grew and grew😪
The beliefs I had then were screaming at me everytime something challenging came up like, “you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve that” and “you’re a failure so stop trying.” Either of these beliefs can be destructive to one’s self esteem but both of them wrecked havoc and destroyed my aspirations and dreams. Not to mention the times in my life when I have succumbed to a case of the “fuck its” and chose to be completely self destructive going scorched Earth with my life by quitting everything and everybody with no explanations and running away. I’ve done that too many times during my 42 years that I care to recall here🙄
I tell you dear readers all of this to be able to exclaim that those darker days are officially over! I have faced the pit of my issues, healing from sexual abuse over these past 10 months. I have been able to establish my management position at an amazing boutique downtown. I am about to self publish my second book of poetry. I have gone back into the dance studio and am loving class again. I have attended 2 poetry slams so far this year. I have an interview article coming out soon highlighting my writing career here in Dallas. These are my external accomplishments and achievements but what means more to me on an intimately personal and much deeper level is the acceptance of myself and living authentically every damn day with no apologies. I now know true inner peace😊
It’s a major shift of perspective for me to realize that only I can advance or derail my success in life. The main ingredient for this depends on your level of self love. Since June, I have been treating myself a whole heck of a lot better. I’m my own best friend and caregiver. It will still be a work in progress but the internal dialogue with myself, the many parts of me that clammer for attention like my inner child which is still wounded at times, my ego (thinking mind), my instinctive personality (INFJ) and then my intuition which is my highest self’s voice and my soul has reached a point where I can recognize each of these bits of Maria so that I can make decisions based upon my best interests. This is a humungous difference from the previous years of my adulthood! I can honestly say the more I pause to decide how to respond to life’s ebbs and flows, the more I can differentiate between the many facets of me!
For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of being off work and enjoying some much needed free time. I have been listening to 963 Hz tone frequency on the SoundHeal app during my meditation time. At this frequency I’m stimulating and balancing the Sahasrara, thousand petaled or crown chakra. This is generally considered the 7th primary chakra which is the energy center for understanding according to most tantric yoga traditions. It can be used to attain a state of Nivana-oneness. This frequency returns the system to its original state. It is said that when a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, the energy of consciousness, to this chakra the state of Nirvikalpa Samodhi is experienced. Ah….yessssss🧘♀️
Well all I can tell you is due to my sensitivity I have been experiencing some amazing benefits from using this frequency. Today, I felt filled with energy. So much so that I went for a long run/walk that amounted to my own personal marathon! I used my MapRun app to track my time/distance/pace and honestly, I didn’t turn it on from the beginning so add another 3 miles to this total…..I completed 27 1/2 miles today 🏃♀️
Along the way I was singing out loud to my favorite female 90s pop icons like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I even took a detour to the swings and satisfied little Maria’s love for swinging! It was a welcome break from the path and I must admit felt so fantastic🥰 I just love the exhilarating feeling I get from pumping my legs in order to get as high as I can reach on a swing! This particular swing set is located around mile 8 or so on the running trail that circles White Rock Lake. I observed some very picturesque moments that I captured like these birds sitting in the trees over the lake.
I just adore the feeling I get being out in nature by myself. I feel so alive and whole as is evident in this selfie I took 😎
I saw this sentiment near the elevators on a floor of the hotel I work inside a few days ago and quickly snapped a picture of it as inspiration for this post. I agree with Ms. Turner 100%
Lastly, this one sums it up quite honestly and definitely reflects where I am today on my journey. Love, light & peace ❤🌠✌
Yesterday was my day off, it was 70 degrees out and the sunshine was glorious! I felt like singing, I did too for a bit, while I was running😉 Completed a 10 mile run by the closest and my most favorite body of water. Mother Nature was showing off yesterday in my humble opinion. God I love Mother Earth so dearly and feel like being out in nature is medicine for my soul💚
I love it when it’s clear enough to see both the sun and moon up in that bright blue sky. We have had increasingly rainy weather here in Dallas lately which added to the good vibes I was absorbing while I was outdoors for hours yesterday.
Today however I am crashing. I definitely have a tendency to run myself down when the energy I pick up outdoors revs me up! Plus, all the mental energy I spent, let me remind you my dear readers about the 14 hours I spent getting the interview article I am featured in compiled and sent off🤪 I am feeling shadow creeping in. Observing this. Allowing it. Sitting with it. This is my humanness and is completely normal. The fallout from the high. We exist in the in between and the shades of gray. Watching myself between these 2 spaces each a different polarity. Today I will be quiet and show myself grace. I am being compassionate with myself. This is balance ⚖ A continuous work in progress for me.
Lastly, last evening while I was gazing up at Ms. Moon lovingly I had another vision. My Nana who passed away 14 years ago this St. Patrick’s Day and is my most communicative spirit guide started talking with me in the most heart warming of ways. Using the moon as a backdrop like a movie screen, she started flashing some of my favorite memories in pictures. First was a solo portrait of her bright shiny and smiling face cast down upon me. Up second was an old family picture of us outside of the restraunt we ate at after her funeral service, followed by pictures of she and I. It reminded me of when I was much younger and my parents would play a slideshow on our refrigerator for my sister and I. Like every vision previously, my mouth hung open, eyes wide and fixated on the amazing beauty I was witnessing and Nana was sharing with me🥰
You must understand my dears that my Nana has the most generous and sweet of spirits. My Mom always tells me how much I remind her of her mother. It always feels like one of Nana’s hugs when she tells me that. I get those super warm fuzzies whenever we talk about her. It’s 100% true that the more I ask for signs and communication from my guides during meditation, the more they deliver. In the most humorous and entertaining of ways! Wouldn’t you, existing in pure bliss out there in our Universe? I continue to see the white orbs, hundreds of them floating through the sky whenever I’m outdoors. It’s easiest to see them when it’s a clear say but if I focus my eyes, I can see them on cloudy days too.
This life I have been blessed with is so humbling and magnificent sometimes, I am awe struck. Speechless with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for rising each day and laying my head down at the end of each day, like a ride on the ferris wheel. For that is what life is my dear reader’s….what a ride indeed🎡