Collectively as we navigate all the change our world is experiencing from to the pandemic, it’s natural to feel the pressure on an energetic level from those around us. As we enter November, with holidays looming ahead, my sensitive soul feels like it’s been put into a pressure cooker with the heat set on high. This is something I feel both internally and externally. The writer in me retreats to my journal for a thorough brain dumping. That’s what I call the release of thoughts and feelings into words, creating little pictures in my imagination that blossom into poetic lines as my soul’s expression through poetry is born. Releasing all the pressure I feel inside, cleanses my being and widens the container so that I can accept all the love life is giving me. Dancing with all the newness in my environment as I continue to acclimate to a new job meeting new people all the time, all while reconnecting with family that I haven’t lived with for almost thirty years. This pressure blocks me from love and abundance, the truth of my being.
When I feel like I want to escape, hide and vanish into thin air; that’s when I know it’s time to slow down and return to my breath. To quietly witness whatever emotional activation has been raised. Tuning my attention inwards to cool the fires that rage inside me. Juggling a new schedule is one aspect of life that creates anxiety within, causing time management issues. I loathe having to manage my personal time between what I have to do outside the home and what I want to create, allowing the passion within to keep burning. It’s a practice and a balancing act as I intuitively tap in, becoming keenly aware that I’m the one who is far too demanding of myself. Deciding what to prioritize when I require rest and self care suddenly becomes a fight with my own drive and aliveness as I try to get everything that requires my attention finished quickly so that I can just be. Reconnecting to that happy place, my sweet spot inside is when I’m witnessing my own monkey mind’s gymnastics during meditation. Holding light to the truths that rise to the surface allows the internal temperature to cool and slows everything down so that the creative juices can flow and be expressed effortlessly.
Writing poetry is how I process the world around me and offers the testimony of my journey through healing from the human condition. I’ve often written about how all my sense settings are set to high. Being an empath, a psychic channel and medium for Spirit continues to teach me how important it is for me to remain vigilant and focused on my inner work, to peel the layers of conditioning and reveal more and more of my own soul. These cycles of death and rebirth often times create the feeling of being naked in front of the entire world! Adjusting to the changes in my life, allowing and accepting all the pieces of me that demand to be seen while shedding ego’s cries for the predictable and safe responses can feel daunting within the pressure cooker. I understand the pressure is necessary for changes to manifest the highest alignment of myself for the betterment of this journey’s evolution. Locked into a sacred dance with Spirit, allowing my soul to lead, learning the lessons I came here to learn in this reincarnation is what keeps me going. Releasing stubborn tendencies to be rigid with myself, forcing things to happen repeatedly shows me that I will continue to be disappointed in the outcomes. Therefore, surrendering to the flow of life, employing a deeper patience and allowing the most divine love, the highest love we all are deserving of and is meant for us, takes time. Feeling the pressure is a part of the growth process.
I often refer to the intuitive messages I receive as puzzle pieces. I am to observe and file them until necessary. I look at life from within a snowglobe that has been shook up, scattering these pieces everywhere. Living life on life’s terms, in each present moment, puts these pieces together in an order that’s meant for each of us. We are all one living organism broken up into pieces, experiencing different scenes within a master story we call life. Each of us have different roles, lessons to learn and jobs to carry out. The one thing we all have in common is love. Shine and share love with one another, no matter what. It is the fuel that keeps our life force energy alive! We are made from and will return to love the more we open our hearts and recognize the human within us all. This intention releases the pressure of competition, the mind chatter of false narratives, judgements and drive to be perfect. I invite you my dear readers to get quiet and return to your center, breathing in love and exhaling fear. What is the pressure you feel within teaching you?
“Need and Love” excerpt by Thomas Merton:
“Love is, in fact an intensification of life, a completeness, a fullness, a wholeness of life…Life curves upward to a peak of intensity, a high point of value and meaning, at which all its latent creative possibility go into action and the person transcends himself or herself in encounter, response and communion and self-transcendence. We do not become fully human until we give ourselves to each other in love”
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In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
Emotional Musings 