Spirituality

Accepting my path and mission

My dear readers, what a transformational month September has turned out to be for me. In this post I want to briefly share what’s been happening to me since taking on my role as a shaman. I’ve written previously about how this entire journey back to myself began ten years ago in 2010 yet rapidly accelerated itself 15 months ago when I unearthed my deepest traumatic wound, being sexually molested as a child. That led me to find my teacher Lindsey and the magic of shamanic healing which propelled me into this homecoming of taking the role of a shamanic healer myself. This work is what I was created for and is the biggest accomplishment in my life.

In my last post I revealed that I was moving to Idaho to join my teacher and dear sister Lindsey Luna so we could combine our forces of magic facilitating a broader reach for our healing businesses and learn from each other more closely. I’ve accepted every challenge with gratitude because I follow my intuition these days which has led me to uncover my true and authentic self. I’m finally free and upon returning to my parents house after my week in Idaho, the pain came on quickly as realized that I no longer belonged there. The toxicity of dysfunction is repulsive to me now that I’ve healed. It didn’t take long for me to make the necessary arrangements to get here and I’m happy to announce that I’ve officially moved to Idaho 🏞

On my 1st hike after the move
Sweet walking trail

When I look over my steps this year, 2020 has been the most transformational time of my life. Yes, it’s been confusing and extremely painful yet also immensely beautiful and awe inspiringly magical. My dears, embracing the pain of the human experience has taught me to lean into the fear and alchemize it into love. Following the breadcrumbs of my heart, my feelings are how I’ve uncovered my truth. It’s been lying dormant underneath dysfunctional programming and conditioning that taught me to dissociate and not feel my own feelings for thirty-seven years. That held me back from my destiny and joy! Stepping back into my sensibilities has awakened in me my soul’s purpose. This weekend I have the privilege of giving back to Lindsey what she so lovingly gave to me upon our first shamanic healing session together in June of 2019. In innumerable ways, she saved me by clearing out energetically what was keeping me stuck and blocked from my heart. Our hearts contain the superpower which is love. There are two vibrations, fear and love….every other feeling is an offshoot of the two. It was through self love that I became my own hero and saved myself from the deep despair my life seemed to be on the inside.

Now that I’ve finally dusted off the years of trauma, polished my heart by making my self care priority number one, I’m find myself in the position to graciously give back to Lindsey by helping her heal in the shamanic way. This weekend we are embarking on a camping trip (my 1st since 2007!) together in order to fully focus on the shifts to her own self integration. The ceremony we held together that inducted me into the world as an official shaman has created many new awakenings for her. This healing is an exchange of energy, hugely beneficial to both parties. My dears, the cycle of healing is never-ending as is the breathing we do to live. Once you can accept both, the resistance eases and inner peace can be restored. Shamanic healing is deeply profound and is a game changer for what keeps you stuck. Trust me. I wouldn’t be “Triumphing over Trauma” by overcoming the many obstacles 2020 has presented to me like joblessness, twice relocating without my beloved partner while I completed my coursework and apprenticeship and self published two books of poetry. The proof is in tbe pudding they say😉

Trust the process 💗

I like to look back at my writing and the poems I create because mostly they are channeled messages from my spiritual guides and angels. I originally wrote this poem, “I hope” in early April. After reading it again, I felt or I should say my guides felt it was in need of a republication. My dears, hope is available in abundance from the Creator. God offers us a chance to constantly try again, an endless amount of do-overs. Take a chance on yourselves. My favorite acronym for hope is Hold On Pain Ends. I’m living proof my dears and so are YOU💗

“I hope”

If you’re interested in scheduling a shamanic healing session (held in person and over the phone long distance, tarot card reading or purchasing any of my three books of poetry….hit this link. Love yourself 1st, so that you can love others❤

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

The Light of Love shines, I am a Shaman

My dear readers, I have just had the most phenomenally magical, blissful and completely transformational week of my entire life in Idaho! I’ve processed most of it yet I believe I will be integrating the wisdom my ancestors passed down to me during the ceremonial ritual I took part in that officially initiated me into this world as a shaman for some time to come. It’s a huge privilege, honor and blessing to see the world through the lense of the art of shamanism while I help heal others in the way I have been healed.

This journey started fifteen months ago and because of the immediate deep connection I felt for my teacher and soul sister Lindsey Luna, I took every nugget of wisdom, spiritual advice and guidance she so lovingly provided me over those months and started to heal my whole being in the most profound of ways. Completely transforming my mind, body and spirit. I know now why God has bestowed the gifts He has upon me, my strong sensibilities and psychic abilities to channel Spirit for the greater good of other’s healing journeys and my own. These are my superpowers that we are all capable of honing. The way my life has unfolded, the trauma I have endured all played a major role in why I focused on the clairvoyant senses I have more so than anything else.

I’m honored and humbled to be Lindsey’s 1st apprentice to graduate her Soul Healing academy. Someday I hope to teacher others as she has so graciously taught me. This was an extremely special ritual ceremony for both of us. After I performed my ritual, which incorporated many of my poems which I offered as pieces of my soul to the fire because they served as a testament to my journey, we sat in a sweat lodge completely constructed out of willow tree branches. This was her 1st time to lead a sweat lodge ceremony solo. We used lava rocks and moon rocks to heat the hut while Lindsey called upon the Great Spirit to ointment me, first wrapping me in a chrysalis while she chanted a sacred song, while playing a singing bowl alternating in the rattle sounds. Soon we both fell into the trance we shamans fall under to perform our healings, I could hear myself starting to make deep guttural sounds, releasing what I needed to thus breaking me out of the cocoon and stepping over the threshold to begin the final transition from apprentice to shaman.

Before the ceremony began
Ladysag77 & soul.healing.with.luna
Sacred ritual tools
Final ritual setup

After we closed the ceremony, I still can’t articulate into words how amazingly magical I feel complete with soul shivers, goose bumps and waves of deep emotion continually overtaking my body while my spirit feels completely free to rejoice! My first words to Lindsey were, “I feel like I’m 5 years old again!” That was the age I suffered the sexual abuse I endured and began to detach from myself emotionally at first, then physically and spiritually over the last thirty-seven years. I finally feel like ME again, welcoming back all my my heightened senses in the most beautiful of ways to utilize them, as a shaman!

Fresh from the sweat lodge-After

When I began the apprenticeship, I started manifesting my trip to Idaho to perform the final ritual ceremony in front of Lindsey. My heart was set on it and my soul yearned to finally hug my soul sister. Up until last week, all of our interactions had been conducted virtually through Instagram, which is how we initially met. I have known for sometime now and can confidently confirm that she is my twin flame 🔥🔥 no doubt about it! Growing up and living in this world with our abilities is especially challenging so being able to interact with another woman who is just like me is gift from God and the Universe. Not having to explain myself, naturally reading each other’s thoughts and finishing each other’s sentences is so cool. My love for Lindsey is extremely special and she is a very important person in my life. I vowed to her that I will be returning to Idaho as soon as possible.

The next day we each performed a healing session on each other that was absolutely THE most intense ones of my life, both giving and receiving. Wednesday afternoon in her office was when I really felt the light of God and Spirit combine wrapping me in he warmest of embraces. Everything we do is extremely intimate and private so I won’t go into detail here of what we each learned about ourselves. Let’s just say that Spirit is guiding me along in an accelerated rate that feels disorienting yet so incredibly beautiful. I’m really speechless my dear readers by the amount of love and blessings that each day in Idaho and with Lindsey provided me. I’m intensely grateful and while I’m writing this, tears of joy are flowing in a lovely way. Here are 2 poems I wrote during my visit.

“True beauty”
“Wilderness in me”

I’ve been floating on cloud 9 while in a state of bliss just trying to take it all in. Yesterday, Ty and I found the perfect frame for my certification. If you’re interested and feeling the call please reach out to me to book a session. I can answer any questions you may have my dears. These healing sessions can be performed both in person and long distance over the phone.

I’m a shaman

Interested in my 3 books of poetry or my contact information for shamanic healing sessions and tarot card readings, please click this one link for it all❤

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

New Mantra

Tomorrow I will be traveling to Idaho to perform a final ritual ceremony for my dear sister friend and teacher Lindsey Luna. This will mark the ending of my apprenticeship and the beginning of my role as a shamanic healer. This journey has been my focus over the last fifteen months but more specifically the past five. I’ve learned so much from Lindsey, about myself and healing. I’m bursting with excitement as I feel major shifts happening inside me.

It started last weekend with an overall sense of calm, a more feminine yin vibe that I wrote about in my last post. Everything feels slowed down, natural, not forced or requiring me to exert much energy. I’m an extremely energetic person yet this past week feels like I’m moving through a pool of jello. It’s hard to really describe but this poem is my attempt at articulating my internal story💙

Aquamarine dream

I haven’t been publishing a lot of my writing on any of my online platforms because I’ve been focused on writing for my ceremony and also spending more time with my personal journaling. It’s extremely important for me to process and express myself right now. I’ve spent this week with myself, in solitude and silence with nature as my backdrop. The lake I live on provides so much stimulation for my spirit to thrive in. A new mantra came to me the other day in meditation and I want to share it here.

“I receive light, I give love”❤

This is what I recite to myself during my own personal healing sessions and the ones I hold for clients. It’s simple yet powerful as I envision myself as the conduit for both declarations. I think it’ll serve as a muse for my next painting😉

When we can slow down and go inside ourselves, our truth is revealed. We connect with our own spirit and soul essense ever guided through God. The feeling both during and afterwards is so relaxing and freeing. Even if you do this for 5 minutes everyday my dear readers, I urge you to go there. Give yourself to yourself and to your higher power, whomever that is for you. I don’t subscribe to any one religion. I prefer to acknowledge all the ascended masters who walked this Earth from every established religion and interpretation of God. I read all literary offerings from the Bible to the Koran. I’m blessed to have been gifted my dear Nana’s leather-bound Bible after she passed, complete with her writings and observations on each chapter and the verses she liked. It still smells like her too which I love❤

I’ve been rewatching “The Power of Myth” which is a series of interviews Bill Moyers had with Joseph Campbell. I was first turned onto his teachings while I was a sophomore in high school and my Humanities teacher assigned us his book to read. I have always felt drawn to mythology and its teachings. As Mr. Campbell says, “the absolute mystery of life, what he called transcendent reality, cannot be captured directly in words or images. Symbols and mythic metaphors on the other hand point outside themselves and into that reality”. Myths point us in the direction towards our own truths. I love to explore different cultures and myths weaving my own beliefs to the surface.

I took this picture in my favorite park the other day and attached one of Campbell’s great quotes to it 💚🌱

We all have a sacred space inside

These are two other poems I’ve written this week that reflect where I’m at in my journey. I feel these are very representative of my inner world and my soul. I won’t be posting next week so I can be fully present on my trip. I will definitely fill you in my dear readers once I return and have processed everything 😊

A peek inside
What it’s like for an empath

In the meantime, click on this link for everything “Emotional Musings” my books and contact information to book a healing session with me

❤🙌

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Oneness of love

I’m back from my hiatus dear readers feeling rested and refreshed! It was important for me to listen to the messages I was receiving internally that were guiding me to take this much needed break from my usual routines of writing and posting online. I established a new writing ritual in a workbook I purchased called, “The Goddess Journaling Workbook” by Beatrix Minerva Linden. Each day there are two questions to focus on highlighting a different goddess divided into 6 cycles for the entire year. I have found this exercise to be highly stimulating for my imagination. I also keep a daily journal and have done so for many many years. This workbook is a welcome addition to my writing practice.

Reflections of goddess energy

I’ve also recommitted to my self care routine this past month. I like to visualize myself as water, filling each moment with my entire being. Maintaining an “all in” mentality, holding nothing back and giving all of my open heart to wherever my focus is. Leaning into the connectedness of God and the beautiful creations found in our world. Choosing to reject the illusion of separateness is something I meditate on daily asking for the strength I need to thrive in our current human condition. This practice is vital to my self healing routine and my role as a shamanic healer to stay in touch with my most vital relationship to self and the environment. I took some day trips to the beach and to my favorite parks to perform Earth blessings. Each one helped me gain more appreciation of God’s unconditional love for us and how available that feeling is inside of each and everyone of us at all times! It’s truly awe inspiring and can be called upon, accessed by setting the intention for it. Vowing to live a more heart centered life, where I intend to live my daily life in true alignment with my personal values, purpose, inner mortality, personal experiences and intuition. The fullness I feel, the inspiration that has grown within me giving my creativity a boost was exactly what I needed. Here are the poems I wrote during my time away from the laptop, writing exclusively with pen and paper for the past few weeks was so freeing!

I am love mantra
Lessons learned observing nature 🦆
My day at the beach, a poem 🏖
Listening to life’s harmony
Heart 1st and open 💗
Seeking reconnection 💙
Back to basics, heart centered ❤
Seeking refuge inside
Strong spirited

Reading these here, I can see the progression of my internal story within these poems. Since March, the energy driving me was very yang in nature and powerful. This month I’ve noticed I’ve shifted into a more yin energy which feels much more serene and calm. The ending of an 10 year chapter of self healing, reconnection to soul and a personal renaissance serving as a time of transformative change. This is a change that included my attitude, behavior, habits, health and spirit. A tune up for my heart and soul to realign myself in a way that feels much more authentic inside and out. For me this meant major changes in the ways I eat, dress, analyze, prioritize and engage with the world around me. It also showed me the relationships I wanted to deepen and the ones I was ready to let go of. My partner has undergone his own awakening in light of mine which commenced fifteen months ago. In this past month, I feel much more connected to him because of his own inner growth and healing.

There is no growth without pain my dears and these past months have highlighted areas of my life that required brutal honesty that at times was excruciatingly painful to look at. Some days, it took everything in me to keep going, exercising my resilient nature by not allowing anything to ever hold me back from expressing my true self.. I made this promise while in the psychiatric hospital in 2011 after my suicide attempt. I’m grateful beyond words for the challenges I have faced, learned from and conquered. This is a quote that comes to mind when I think about my journey thus far,

“It’s sometimes the prettiest of smiles that hold the deepest secrets, the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest of hearts that have felt the most pain”.

I can relate so much to these words and they resonate deeply within my soul.

I also updated my business cards and created a hat I can wear to promote myself. I’ve never met a hat I didn’t love and this one is no different. I strive each day to live my motto of, “Triumphing over Trauma” proving that when you set your heart to change, anything is possible. Greatness of spirit is achievable and powered by love.

Emotional Musings 🥰

Please click on this link for everything Emotional Musings included my contact information for healing sessions, my books and social media

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

   

Spirituality

Tiny scattered pieces blowing in the wind

I’ve been spending my days on the patio a lot more lately because that’s where I hold my healing sessions, close to nature and overlooking the glorious lake I live on. The energy out there is so fabulously grounding mostly due to the wind. Plus the side of our house is a virtual rainforest of plants, trees and flowers. Lots of oxygen being emitted out there and blown around. It’s just awesome. I spend time out there writing, holding healing sessions or listening to music. Plus being outdoors naturally does a body good and creates grounding which ignites the body’s self healing mechanisms.

The lake at Winston Park

I just finished watching the documentary, The Earthing Movie: The Remarkable Science of Grounding all about how walking around barefoot on the Earth grounds our energy and connects us back into the Universe. Doing this stimulates the body to heal itself naturally because we are all energy and electricity. The work that I’m now honored to be a part of is enhancing my understanding of how the exchange of energy works, what creates blocks (unprocessed emotions),chords (specifically the toxic energy kind that need to be cut) and how this all effects our mind body and spirit connection. It’s absolutely awe inspiring and fascinating. A few months ago I started reading about Quantum psychics too and its relation to reality but I won’t write about it here because I’m still processing it. The long and short of it is that everything we do and interact with from watching television, texting, painting, singing, dancing, playing sports, talking etc. is an energy exchange, has a charge to it and a vibration. I can feel the feelings off the energy that is exchanged with me and intuitively know what’s going on within that person even if it’s from the other side of the world. That’s how mysteriously and so scientifically powerful this entire planet is.

God’s masterpiece is this creation specifically made to work harmoniously together, interconnected and feeding off each living thing on our planet. I liken our brains to a computer program that is created and fed by what we interact with and feed it, all of our experiences in life lay down a blueprint which in turn creates our perceived reality. There is no such thing as space and time for that is manmade to give us a semblance of order. Whether we are awake or asleep, we are dreaming. What is reality for me and what is reality for you my dear readers, well they are different and both are an illusion. The only things that are real are our feelings because they are generated from our hearts. Our heart is the organ that communicates with the brain in four distinct ways: neurologically (nervous system), biochemically (hormones), biophysically (pulse waves) and energetically (electromagnetically). In the 60s and 70s there was research done by John and Beatrice Lacey that observed how our heart communicates with the brain in ways that significantly affect how we perceive and react to the world. I’ve been interested in heart math for a few years now, but that’s for another post by a different writer my loves.

I share all of this to tell you this. After holding a week of my shamanic energy healing sessions I have learned so much more about myself and how I respond and react, my own reality and perceptions with others and the world. I believe that I and others like me were sent to Earth to love. We embrace all living creatures with the desire to love wholeheartedly and completely no matter what. It’s my natural default function to see everything as a connection to myself and the rest of the planet so of course I want to understand how to always do less harm and create more love. My heart is big, a vortex that when you get sucked in it’s near impossible to get out of. I stopped interacting with three people who have come into its grasp and one was the other person’s decision to stop talking to me because it was too emotionally painful for him .Unfortunately, that is my ex-husband because he is emotionally immature, has a low EQ and will never move past his anger and resentments. The other was a girlfriend who became a drain upon me and was extremely toxic to my life. The third was the ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me on multiple occasions because he was working out repressed memories of the relationship with his mother on me like I was her. He was very mentally and emotionally disturbed so for obvious reasons I cut ties. I share this to say I love hard and I love deep. My fiancé knows that he shares me with the rest of the world because it’s part of who I am at my core, at a soul level. It’s part of being an empath, having extra sensory perceptions that manifest psychically and what I use now as a healer to heal others on a body, mind and spiritual level. My heart, my love is how I help others clear out their emotional baggage so that their bodies can flow more easily on an energetic level thus making them happier and more free to connect to their own souls as I have.

The people around us, what we eat, what we feed our bodies…all of it either allows one’s spirit to glow and grow stronger so that we can live out our soul’s purpose or hinders and disables our evolvement. It’s in our soul contracts. We are put through interactions with others to learn from them. Pain is a great motivator and a hard earned teacher. The path of the shaman teaches this and now that I’m in the field seeing people in this capacity it’s amazing how connected it all really is! Tiny scattered pieces blowing all around by the wind, carried off by the seas touching every single one of us.

“Scattered pieces”

Yesterday was a big day for my son and I because he was accepted into a technical program for heating and air conditioning. The fact that Ty can continue his education is something I have been manifesting for over a year now. I told him he has won the lottery ticket to life if he completes this certification because the world will always need to keep their environments warm and cool. He is a hands on learner and this is the perfect program for his technically inclined mind. I know he will shine. I’m so proud of him. This development really puts my mind at ease for his future because since the pandemic he has been unemployed and wondering how to start over. I expressed to him that he has time on his side and a youthful mind. Plus watching his Mom reinvent herself, move around the country and discover her own calling serves as inspiration to never give up.

“Tiny”

I see us humans so differently now and what we do to each other and Mother Earth. Just look around at our world events. The Universe supports us 100%. We have air to breath, ground to walk upon, water to drink and food to eat. These are constants that are taken for granted too often without questioning or taking time to think about it our impact upon each other and our planet. For the beauty in nature’s continued sake and the wellbeing of one another let’s do better. Love more, judge less. Give more, take less. Raising the collective vibration helps everyone. We are tiny drops of water in the ocean of life my dears. We are here for a short time. We owe it to ourselves and each other to do better.

Namaste 🙏

Here to heal

Please see my contact links to get in touch with me for tarot card readings, healing sessions and my books of poetry at

Linktr.ee/Ladysag77.com

Spirituality

Remembrance, a story of homecoming

This has been a very monumental week for me my dear readers. I completed the coursework for my role as a shamanic healer and energy practitioner to an abundance of blessings from the great Divine itself. I have completed two of my healing sessions, one for my teacher Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna and one for my son Ty. Each one felt so familiar yet different because Lindsey’s was conducted virtually over Instagram video chat and Ty’s was in person. I now can say with certainty that I was a shaman in a past life and that I worked with Lindsey in one of them. We have reunited in this life for great things, a purpose that is ever unfolding and so intimately beautiful. I get emotional just thinking about how much she means to me on so many levels, a sister, a mentor, a teacher and a dear kindred spirit friend.

This week for me is what defines a full circle moment. Just one year ago I felt so profoundly lost in my own emotional trauma while reliving the past I thought I had buried when I discovered Lindsey on Instagram and reached out to her for healing. Little did I know how deeply impactful that action would reflect upon my life today! We have completed many sessions together for my own healing and now she has taught me about the art of shamanism in a one on one course each week for the past 2 months that she herself admitted to taking years to grasp and understand because she developed herself, solo. Believe me my dear readers, these past few months have been a whirlwind of change, all necessary and quite painful at times. Since I committed to learn from her, I made a promise to myself to never give up knowing that I deserved to do this for myself. I took the first real and definitive step to create something that I can’t truly define by words only feelings. This process has meant so much to me and to my spirituality my dear readers, a homecoming. A return to oneness and to myself.

It all makes sense now, why I know the things that I know, see and feel so differently from other people. Especially why I cut myself off from these messages and gifts for most of my life. It was out of an overwhelming fear. God sent me on a journey in which I have learned from and now see beauty in. All of the pain, struggle and heartache was for this reason. The path of the wounded healer. Shamans are anointed and initiated in this way, forged in the fire. Embracing the I AM mantra and believing that I can overcome what is holding me back took years of diligence, practice and loss as well as hope, faith and of course a strong reliance upon God. Nothing is possible without my ultimate belief in Him, the creator of all. Our Universe and everything within is intricately dependent and created by God.

Recently I took part in a a fun word prompt challenge on the app that I use to create my poems, Mirakee. Happy 4 years in creation to them by the way! The challenge asked to write a poem on how we would like to be remembered after we have passed. Death is inevitable my dears even though I can admit to once feeling scared of it because it brought such devastating sadness along with it for the ones left in its wake. I now understand that we are all part of God’s master plan, the circle of life. I believe one’s spirit never dies and is reincarnated through human existence itself following the purpose that God chose in it’s creation. Remembering mine has brought me so much happiness, joy, inner peace and harmony. Here is the poem I created for the challenge.

“Remember me”

I use different tarot decks for daily guidance and this is the card I pulled today which I greeted with a knowing smile.

Archangel Michael has been working with me for sometime now

Writing has been a tool I have leaned on for personal development and understanding my entire life. In this past year, the poems I write are channeled messages from the archangels, most specifically Michael, Raphael and Gabriel. The holy trinity of messengers as all three are my spiritual guides that I feel in my life daily. They in tandem with my spirit animals tug at my soul strings and show me in the most intimate of ways messages from Divine. While I was in session with Lindsey, I felt as though Maria stepped aside and Serena (what I call my soul) stepped forward to provide the healing. Ultimate acceptance and internal permission to be a conduit in this way is the main idea and the theme of this poem.

“Soul Strings”

I’ve awakened from a deep slumber of dissociation and detachment from my authentic spirit my dear readers. Healing isn’t always pretty and nice but the rewards are priceless and the love I feel within my own being combined with the love I have for all of humanity paints my world in technicolor! I’ve often referred to being an empath in this way, feeling and seeing the world in a deeply vibrant hue at all times. It once kept me locked in the jaws of fear, fear of myself which caused utter and complete confusion. Now I understand it.

“Transformation”

I have 40 hours of apprenticeship hours to complete before my final certification. Besides having my children and becoming a mother, I have never wanted something more for myself. I’ve written before on here how I have never held a career in the traditional sense besides that of a caregiver. This role of a healer is the ultimate in care giving with the greatest level of responsibility that I could ever have imagined. I’m simultaneously humbled and honored to heal others through the art of shamanism. My journey has reached a new road, one that I take with a pep in my step and a grace I have practiced my whole life. Thank you God for seeing me worthy. I’m eternally grateful.

Please check out my books of poetry and tarot card offerings by visiting https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Rainbow clouds

Hello my dears 😁 this post comes to you from my very big heart in hope’s of reaching you all while you’re keeping yourselves cool, calm and collected in the midst of where our world finds itself today🌎 I for one have really locked into all the blessings this release of time has provided me here at home. Being free to connect deeper with my soul through meditation, sound healing, dance, yoga and writing of course has allowed all the high and low feelings to flow on through! Today I awoke with such an overall feeling of gratitude for what I do have in my life today.

Life presents us with many choices and as I heal from the trauma I once endured, I can clearly see more and more what my soul’s mission here truly is. A dear friend of mine, Lindsey Luna (aka @soul.healing.with.luna on Instagram) once told me my heart is like a vortex, I love in a big way and on bold level. Through my writing, a friendly smile and a listening ear I am here to help others. This same woman helped me heal and continues to help me on both an energetic level as well as the soul sister she is which suits my mind, body and spirit in the best way! I have decided to learn how to become a Shamanic healer under her apprenticeship by learning the art of shamanism in order to help other people retrieve their souls.

I pay close attention to what our great Universe has been nudging me towards and what God puts on my heart. In this past month, I have connected on a much deeper level with who I am inside and gained a lot of clarity on a higher consciousness level. Writing this makes me feel like getting up and twirling around with glee💃 My heart feels so much peace, happiness, joy and contentment and I didn’t get this way from anything external, it came from feeding my soul internally. It takes my breath away sometimes, the utter beauty I am so blessed to see now having obtained this kind of balance and alignment.

Of course there are others around me who have loved and believed in me when I didn’t love or believe in myself. They know who they are because I am not shy about expressing my love and gratitude directly to them. My dear readers, I am a living example of what you put into life is exactly what you get out of it. Allow the life you lead in this outer physical world to be a reflection of the life you create inside, your inner world. The people we draw into our lives are a mirror for us to learn from. God sets out to teach us through others.

This virus has created immense suffering but it has also created a ton of hope and possibility for a better tomorrow. Look for it because it is there in abundance, feed your mind with goodness and for goodness sake turn off the damn news! It’s only meant to distract from the beauty of life. We have survived before the 24 news cycle was invented and we will ALL be better off from moving away from it. I firmly believe in nourishing your body, mind and spirit with nutrient dense material. Pay close attention to just what you are feeding yourselves my dear ones.

When the weather cooperates, I like to do my daily reading, journaling and meditation outdoors. As I finished my meditation on Sunday (I had to look at the calendar to remember what day it is😉) and opened my eyes, I caught a glimpse of the clouds above me, some call them iridescent but I call them rainbow clouds. A sign from the heavens, the Universe telling me we are all going to be alright. A clear sign to hold onto faith and hope.  For those interested, here’s Google’s definition:
Cloud iridescence or irisation is a colorful optical phenomenon that occurs in a cloud and appears in the general proximity of the Sun or Moon. The colors resemble those seen in soap bubbles and oil on a water surface. It is a type of photometeor.

My creativity is blooming and blossoming! I spent time taking in God’s beauty and this gift as I choose to see it. I was raised Catholic but don’t practice any organized religion or belong to any church. Instead I have my own rituals and practices that keep my spiritually fit. On Easter Sunday I sent out a message of hope, faith along with lots of love to the ones near to me. I choose to mark that day as a rebirth and a renewal every year. I recorded this short video too.

Afterwards, I wrote this poem. I couldn’t decide which color format to go with so here are both🌈

Rainbow clouds
Rainbow clouds 🌈

I took part in a deep breathing ceremony last evening hosted by a dear friend and healer, Chrissy Marie (aka @comealivewithchrissymarie on Instagram) Oh boy did she deliver exactly what I needed through her magic and guidance. I had an outer body experience that delivered the healing my body was craving on a whole other level! I highly recommend connecting with your breath my dears. As Chrissy reminded us at the start of the ceremony, breath is the first and most important conduit, a river if you will delivering life force energy. Stop holding yours and take a nice long deep one😊

I can’t speak more highly of these two wonderfully powerful, magical and compassionate women! They have each introduced different aspects of selfcare and healing in a holistic way into my world that has impacted my wellbeing and helped raise my vibration! If anybody has questions, comments or wants to be introduced to their services, please leave me a comment or send me an email❤

For more of my poetry, check out my book of poetry, “Emotional Musings” available on Amazon

Spirituality

Staying in the love vibration

Not matter the current circumstances my dear readers, I am choosing to reject all of the fear being pumped into our society currently. Despite the fact that it is Friday the 13th and the Coronavirus is threatening the health of millions, billions throughout all of humanity……keep in the love vibe. Please. Love is the highest and most powerful of all energy vibrations ❤

Here are eight helpful tips you can practice to keep love running through your mind, body and spirit 🥰

  1. Become conscious of your thoughts. Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality. We truly are our thoughts💭
  2. Find something beautiful and appreciate it. I do this through meditation and visualization.
  3. Be conscious of the foods you eat. Again, you are what you eat.
  4. Drink water and plenty of it. It’s the best way to rid the body of toxins
  5. Meditate. For at least 5 to 15 minutes every day. It’s a muscle that can be built over time, repetition and practice. I have been incorporating meditation into my daily routine for 10 years now and practicing yoga for 20. It’s never perfect but is progress in keeping myself balanced and centered 🧘‍♀️
  6. Be grateful. Especially with yourself. Show others kindness and practice the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated🙌
  7. Practice acts of kindness. Both random and intentional, our world needs this now more than ever✌
  8. Get your blood pumping by moving your body for at least 20 minutes daily. Why not smile while doing it too….studies show that smiling while exercising has an even more beneficial impact on your overall health in the long term 😁

No matter what, reject all fear. Stay in the love vibration ❤🙌


This morning my creative mind wanted to play around with different types of poetry formats. Tapping into my passionate heart and my ability to empathize, using compassion to understand humanity. My message here is to love one another now more than ever❤


Spirituality

Thoughts on happiness

My dear reader’s I have been having noticing a reoccurring confirmation from friends, mentors along with the messages I receive from the Universe regarding how to obtain lasting happiness. It boils down to this….. it’s definitely an inside job! Nothing external, meaning outside oneself, can make you happy and keep you that way. Boy oh boy has this been a tough lesson to learn for me. There are so many mixed messages out there especially when you are bombarded with advertising promising you that this product or that program will give you all you ever dreamed of along with happiness. It takes going beneath the surface of everything in our society to get the real answer on this one my dears🤔

I firmly believe that a connection to both a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, I chose to call it God and a deep connection with yourself is needed for inner peace and happiness. I myself disconnected from myself many years ago due to trauma and the increasing fear it inflicted upon my life. Over the years, I abandoned belief, trust and love of myself. When I was sexually molested as a child, I internalized that pain and blamed myself. I never told anybody about it so that wound just grew and grew😪

The beliefs I had then were screaming at me everytime something challenging came up like, “you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve that” and “you’re a failure so stop trying.” Either of these beliefs can be destructive to one’s self esteem but both of them wrecked havoc and destroyed my aspirations and dreams. Not to mention the times in my life when I have succumbed to a case of the “fuck its” and chose to be completely self destructive going scorched Earth with my life by quitting everything and everybody with no explanations and running away. I’ve done that too many times during my 42 years that I care to recall here🙄

I tell you dear readers all of this to be able to exclaim that those darker days are officially over! I have faced the pit of my issues, healing from sexual abuse over these past 10 months. I have been able to establish my management position at an amazing boutique downtown. I am about to self publish my second book of poetry. I have gone back into the dance studio and am loving class again. I have attended 2 poetry slams so far this year. I have an interview article coming out soon highlighting my writing career here in Dallas. These are my external accomplishments and achievements but what means more to me on an intimately personal and much deeper level is the acceptance of myself and living authentically every damn day with no apologies. I now know true inner peace😊

My perspective

It’s a major shift of perspective for me to realize that only I can advance or derail my success in life. The main ingredient for this depends on your level of self love. Since June, I have been treating myself a whole heck of a lot better. I’m my own best friend and caregiver. It will still be a work in progress but the internal dialogue with myself, the many parts of me that clammer for attention like my inner child which is still wounded at times, my ego (thinking mind), my instinctive personality (INFJ) and then my intuition which is my highest self’s voice and my soul has reached a point where I can recognize each of these bits of Maria so that I can make decisions based upon my best interests. This is a humungous difference from the previous years of my adulthood! I can honestly say the more I pause to decide how to respond to life’s ebbs and flows, the more I can differentiate between the many facets of me!

For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of being off work and enjoying some much needed free time. I have been listening to 963 Hz tone frequency on the SoundHeal app during my meditation time. At this frequency I’m stimulating and balancing the Sahasrara, thousand petaled or crown chakra. This is generally considered the 7th primary chakra which is the energy center for understanding according to most tantric yoga traditions. It can be used to attain a state of Nivana-oneness. This frequency returns the system to its original state. It is said that when a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, the energy of consciousness, to this chakra the state of Nirvikalpa Samodhi is experienced. Ah….yessssss🧘‍♀️

Well all I can tell you is due to my sensitivity I have been experiencing some amazing benefits from using this frequency. Today, I felt filled with energy. So much so that I went for a long run/walk that amounted to my own personal marathon! I used my MapRun app to track my time/distance/pace and honestly, I didn’t turn it on from the beginning so add another 3 miles to this total…..I completed 27 1/2 miles today 🏃‍♀️

Maria’s marathon 🏃‍♀️

Along the way I was singing out loud to my favorite female 90s pop icons like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I even took a detour to the swings and satisfied little Maria’s love for swinging! It was a welcome break from the path and I must admit felt so fantastic🥰 I just love the exhilarating feeling I get from pumping my legs in order to get as high as I can reach on a swing! This particular swing set is located around mile 8 or so on the running trail that circles White Rock Lake. I observed some very picturesque moments that I captured like these birds sitting in the trees over the lake.

I just adore the feeling I get being out in nature by myself. I feel so alive and whole as is evident in this selfie I took 😎

Hey y’all 🤗

I saw this sentiment near the elevators on a floor of the hotel I work inside a few days ago and quickly snapped a picture of it as inspiration for this post. I agree with Ms. Turner 100%

Lastly, this one sums it up quite honestly and definitely reflects where I am today on my journey. Love, light & peace ❤🌠✌

Where I’m at😉

Spirituality

Thoughts from a recovering perfectionist

The thoughts of a recovering perfectionist need to be parsed out. When the other shoe drops, oh boy can it ever….my mind becomes scrambled eggs. I can’t string one thought to the next while I doubt everything my mind presents me. Hi again, Complex PTSD thinking, nice to see you again, insert sarcasm. Listen, I have been on this awakening ride long enough to realize the healing comes in waves. Never all at once. How would we learn that way. At least I sure don’t.

My soul yearns to be the compass most days. I have understanding enough to know that reality is an illusion because ego predicts 90% of what we see as truth. It takes a deep dive to see that a higher consciousness is needed to integrate all parts of self. When I find self caught up in my head, deciding my next direction becomes complicated. That’s where I have have found myself lately. Too caught up, fighting my own mind. Giving myself permission to feel this as it flows through my body. Telling myself to go with the flow, the less I resist the more easily it is to let go of these moments instead of becoming paralyzed by them.

Thoughts of a recovering perfectionist