Choosing to allow love to lead and guide my life’s purpose is an elaborate dance with Spirit. Opening the heart to allow a higher power to guide my steps is an ever evolving practice in surrendering to the unknown. Leaning into a deeper trust while having faith that the answers will show up in Divine timing, not anything I control. Turning away from ego stories and postures for the betterment of soul’s alignment. It’s a very humbling experience that many of us run from. I know I certainly did, for many years. Living an authentic life takes courage. Especially when fear is forcing you to give up. This past month I’ve had to dig deep and sit through more than a few dark nights of the soul to be rewarded the clarity that self introspection reveals. The recent eclipse season gifted me some hard to swallow truths yet in the core of my being, I knew I needed to see. Staying open, listening to Spirit and my guides while revisiting the more challenging soul lessons required me to love myself more than ever before. Finally, allowing the breakdowns to become breakthroughs.
We all want to be loved. Human beings are wired for connection and community. The way to this love is through deeply and thoroughly loving ourselves. Self acceptance is the key to inner peace. A quote by Lao Tzu says the three greatest treasures are simplicity, patience and compassion. I like to think of them as simplicity of mind creates joy, patience within the body brings peace and compassion in soul is love. The new romantic relationship I have entered into has triggered a lot of old stories and coping behaviors I leaned on for survival while enduring trauma. These responses were a perceived security blanket for the purpose of protecting my heart. The ego’s desire to control everything in the mind, keeping us small and safe. This has always lead to self sabotage. The old stories fed to me over the years that sting and scream thoughts of “you’re too much”, “don’t show your emotions” and “be perfect”. The scars from emotional neglect in childood have taught me to hide myself by not letting anybody see my innermost feelings for fear of rejection and abandonment. The truth is neither of my parents were emotionally supportive or knew how to explain their own feelings. I learned to hide, stuff and carry not only my own but the energy of emotions from other people around me. Feelings were seen as burdensome. This experience taught me that I was unworthy of love without pain. Pain was intricately woven throughout the meaning of love.
Subsequently, I met men who were emotionally unavailable or who couldn’t match my own level of emotional intelligence and intuitiveness. The journey of healing over the past ten years while reparenting myself has taught me to value my feelings as the warning indicators for what my body needs. Carefully and mindfully nurturing myself welcomes unconditional love to flow. I believe we are all connected to a radiant light, a God consciousness that is made of love. Essentially we are LOVE! This is our purpose. To be love and shine love, to ourselves and one another. Allowing myself to be seen, felt and heard by another who is reflecting my soul back at me is a Divine experience. I’m grateful to be enjoying this time in my life with a man who is aligned with me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We are learning one another through the lessons love teaches. Love truly is patient and kind. Never boastful, it always protects, trusts, hopes, perservers and never fails.
My 8th book of poetry will be a collection that is all about love ,”My Soul’s Love, a book of spells”. These poems are a culmination of what my journey through healing has taught me. The messages that have brought me closer to God and my life’s purpose as a healer. I’m here to show others how love heals and transforms. There is no possible explanation for how I have returned from the depths of abuse, trauma, addiction and suicide without God’s love and direction. This has arrived by the allowance of true love into my life! The Universe will give you signposts to follow, synchronistic gifts that are meant to teach us how to master the challenges in life. May we be released from ego and guided by soul to let love lead!
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In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.