Grief and loss, Healing

In memoriam

Yesterday was a glorious day for my family and I as we bid our final farewell to my Dad. My Mom was especially happy to hold this memorial service in their Catholic church 45 years to the day they had their first date. I was extremely honored to be the representative from the family to give the eulogy which included the poem I wrote “Daddy” just hours before he passed on November 24, 2020. This was the closure we all needed and the homecoming my Dad deserved.

For you Dad
“Daddy”

We continued the celebration of my Dad’s life with an Italian fest fit for the king he is, a luncheon that was held at his favorite restaurant which included family and close friends, about twenty people. My older sister flew in from Utah and my oldest brother drove down from Orlando. It was especially great to all be together again since we have all been separated by the pandemic. We laughed and we shed tears. We all shared our favorite memories of my Dad. I was so comforted by my family yesterday and it felt so good to be with the people I love the most. My partner is here (FINALLY) and he was and is my rock, grounding me through the grieving process. I’m so grateful and blessed to have these people in my life when I need them the most. My gratitude includes my dear friends that are scattered across the country and in other places around the world who have sent condolences with love including so many of you my dear readers. From the bottom of my heart, your love means so much to me. Connection is a key in healing because we all experience loss. This is a time we need to lean on each other.

My sister Tami arranged these beautiful flowers

I took this video of myself dancing hours before my partner’s arrival. I absolutely adore Janis Joplin’s style and fiery vocals. My partner often remarks on how I remind him of her so I felt it fitting to dance in tribute to her and my love for all of humanity. I put a piece of my heart into every creative thing I do. If I don’t feel passionate about it, I simply don’t do it. Life is precious and I intend to make the most of my time here doing what I love to do most which is expressing the depths of my creative soul in light and love!

“Piece of My Heart”

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com
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Spirituality

Every day is a gift

This post is going to be a bit different than my other posts my dear readers. This one a journal entry, a peak into my inner world.

Opening my eyes this morning, I greet the day with enthusiasm and curiosity for what God has in store for me. What lesson will I learn today and what experience will touch my soul. These are my first thoughts as I reach for the book I read every day, Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening.” I like to use whatever he reflects upon in the daily passage for my own journal prompt. A mix of where I find myself in the moment and a pearl of his wisdom. I usually write my entry afterwards. Here’s today’s entry:

Breaking patterns and strengthening bonds is the work at hand. Yesterday went so well with Lindsey, my heart feels so full! Ty and I enjoyed a wonderful afternoon together. He treated me to dinner.  Even my partner surprised me with a sweet present that I wasn’t expecting, the best kind of gift! I know since arriving here at my parent’s house, me energy has been unsettled. Showing myself grace while being gentle, I will figure out what feels best here. Of course I have my lounge chair set up outside by the lake, my happy place. It’s where I can observe nature, speak with God and receive messages from my spirit guides. I told Lindsey that as a “homework” practice this week for my apprenticeship to become a Shamanic healer, I will reestablish my self journeying which plainly means I will be intentional about spending more time solo outdoors, in self reflection. I have to feel my way through because that’s my best asset and my strongest sense as an empath. God, please help me to learn my place here and lead with love in every endeavor, especially as it concerns others. Thank you for bringing me this far along my journey. Thank you for helping me heal by recognizing the truth and knowing the beauty you provide for us here on Earth. I’m grateful for the focus I have in following my soul’s path and purpose. I trust that you have brought me here because I’m ready to learn more and what a gift that is! God and your helpers, the angels surrounding me, are continuing to help me heal. Continuing to walk this path in truth and love isn’t a responsibility I take lightly. It’s only with the courage and love you God provide me that I have gotten through the darkness. For in darkness, I have discovered myself and gathered the strength I needed to walk into the light. It brings tears to my eyes when I can sit in meditation and feel the beauty of everything here you have created in every living thing. Each and every day is a gift!

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My dear readers, treat each and every day as the gift it is. God will only bring you to and through what you can handle. Trust in Him. Live each day to the fullest my dears for life is precious. From my heart to your heart. So much ❤

Please check out my 2 books of poetry, links below……

Spirituality

Held in God’s grace

Ever since my session with Joel Adifon, a Divine Interventionist who refers to himself as a Divine Catalyst and Supernatural Creative, I have felt quite the stirrings of a major shift going on inside me. Believing in the power of Gods, Saints, Annointed Ones, Masters and Angels to restructure my life, with an open mind and heart, I gave verbal permission to Mr. Adifon to work a miracle on me. It’s not something tangible I can even describe but what he told me during the session has been ringing through my mind since Friday.

He explained that I would feel very tired for the next two days and if I so chose I am welcome to call upon the spirits of those who stepped forth. First he asked me if I had a family member I was close to that passed over and immediately I knew my Nana was with us. I could feel her 20 minutes before the session even started! I sat in the backyard and raised my hands to the sky shaking, quivering with energy as I knew Nana would be there, as she always is, to support me and hold me in grace. I sobbed uncontrollably, in a completely non judgemental way. That has been happening ever since actually. All of a sudden throughout the day I fall to my knees in gratitude and wonder, sobbing while thanking God for his mercy and grace. For bringing me this far, through all of the trials an tribulations that have made up the fabric of my life. In awe is a good expression of how absolutely beautiful this experience is for me my dear readers!!

He echoed a lot of information that I already had heard through previous energy clearing sessions yet the work he does is beyond space and time. There are so many levels to our vast Universe, I am still new to understanding it all. I’ve written before about my spiritual awakening 10 months ago and since then I have definitely achieved a higher state of consciousness. It’s remarkable the beauty and synchronicities I experience on a daily basis.

Even as I sit here writing about this, I am taken aback at how my long held need to explain and understand things in the spiritual realm has shifted. I am surrendering the need to do so. I simply surrender. I simply know. Letting go and letting God has taken on a whole new meaning at my core where we are all held in love.

Besides my Nana stepping forward to work their magic, Archangel Raphel, saint of healing was present. I have had whispers of his presence around me for months now through the visions I experience. Some Tibetan monks also joined us as well as a saint I feel has resonated within my being for many years. Growing up Catholic, I have always been mesmerized by St. Francis, patron saint of animals and the environment. I’m a huge animal lover and nature enthusiast, believing that I can and do communicate with them on an intimate level. Much like I will be learning to do soon in my apprenticeship to become an energy practitioner as a Shamanic healer.

A quote of St. Francis’s that I deeply resonate with is, “for it is in giving that we receive”. I am a big believer in these words, I receive so much joy in giving. For me, throughout my life I often times believed that I didn’t deserve to receive anything. That I wasn’t good enough. Being sexually abused will do that to a small child’s psyche. During the healing process over the past 10 years I have worked diligently to reframe these thoughts and beliefs. Suddenly I can feel everything just coming together in such a way that I know Universe has my back in all ways.

A big take away for me was his recognizing that I lose myself for hours even days at a time. I developed a knack for disassociating as a coping/survival mechanism early on during the years I was abused. I simply internalized the pain and detached from myself. I have made HUGE strides in piecing myself back together. In the past I could be stuck in a dissociative episode for a month or more. Hearing him acknowledge that I still have a tendency to do that and be reassured that he was stitching me back together gave me this overwhelming feeling of calm.

This morning and every morning since, before I sit in meditation, I speak with St. Raphel and ask for his continued healing presence in my life. Then I usually feel as though I’m being hugged and then I release by crying. Today this poem flowed out of me. I want all of you, my dear readers to know this. God’s grace is attainable when you simply ask for it. We are all His children, created from love and light. That is our one true calling, to live by loving each other as God intended us to. Amen, Amen, Amen😇🙏

“Being held in Grace”

If you want more information on working with Joel Adifon, please leave any questions in the comments below.

If you like my poetry you may go to the links below. I have two books of poetry available on Amazon. Your interest is greatly appreciated. Everyday I strive to live my motto, “Triumphing over Trauma”

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Musings-Maria-Pratico/dp/1798567504/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=%22emotional+musings%22&qid=1587010926&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087H7D1VS/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=Emotional+Musings&qid=1587663034&sr=8-3

Spirituality

My grateful heart

This post is bursting with love and gratitude for all of the wonderful things taking place in my life. My heart is so full and happy my dear readers and I just want to share this wonderful news with you all🥰

I finally got a new laptop, WooHoo, which is making writing so much easier and much less tedious. I had been using my midgrade Android cell phone with a stylus to tap out each post, one letter at a time. That’s how dedicated and determined I am to write. As you can imagine, typing on a laptop is a breeze in comparison! I have started to assemble the manuscript for the 2nd book of poetry I will soon be self publishing on Amazon. This is something I have been planning for months and I’m so excited to release it, I’m calling it, “My Soul’s Language”. Stay tuned for the official release information my dear readers.

In a few previous posts I shared that I have decided to learn to become a Shamanic healer under the tutelage of my dear friend, Reiki master and Shamanic healer Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna (her Instagram handle) and yesterday we made plans to officially begin my apprenticeship early next month! Lindsey has been so I instrumental in my healing process for the last 10 months and I consider her a soul sister, kindred spirit. Her magic has successfully retrieved my soul and aligned my chakras so that I can step into my power. Realizing my soul’s purpose is something I struggle to put into words that can express fully the immense feelings of love and gratitude that I feel. The entire experience has changed my life and to know that once I learn how to do this myself, I will have the opportunity to help heal others is so life affirming! The only words that keep running through my head, like on an electronic banner, are thank you God🙏

It’s no coincidence that I find myself being able to see my path through at this point in my life. We are all in the Great Awakening process and these seeds were planted months back. I can feel myself on the verge of something great, I am not sure what it is but I can feel it in my bones and believe that wonderful things are about to happen for me in my life. I have been patiently following the bread crumbs Universe and Divine spirit provide. I keep in close communication with God and I can feel the support, love and protection all around holding me up in grace. Again, thank you God for bringing me here to this understanding of myself and your mission for me.

Last week I listened to my dear friend Chrissy Marie’s podcast, “The Art of Aliveness” (on Spotify, see below for the link) and I shared with you dear readers what magic she is able to facilitate with her own energetic healing practices. She interviewed an incredibly intriguing gentleman named Joel Adofin who is considered a Divine Catalyst and Supernatural Creative. While listening to their chat I felt goose bumps, chills and heard myself saying YES, outloud because he was confirming everything I have been experiencing in my own life for the past 10 months! I knew immediately that I was to work with him so I reached out and booked a session for Friday. Here is a brief description of how the session will go:

This session gives us the chance to work with multiple aspects of the Divine – channeled messages & Divine Grace. I am able to deliver messages if they come through. There is space to ask for clarification and time for discussion at the end.

For the next two days, while quietly sitting in meditation, I will prepare the questions I have for Joel to help answer. I am confident that I will hear exactly what I need to because I know the Universe has my back and is preparing me for that something great I feel coming.

For so many years I have read about what hope and faith are but only now do I truly feel this way and can see how holding these two values so dearly has been working in my life. I have devouted myself to caring for my spirit and have strengthened my love for God and all of the blessings he makes available in my life. It brings me to tears of joy and love. I just now my head and whisper “Thank you God” and Namaste. This is my latest poem expressing my gratitude for it all. Nothing but peace, love and light my dear readers ✌❤🌠

Namaste

Please check out my 1st book of poetry entitled, “Emotional Musings” available now on Amazon The 2nd offering of poetry is now available entitled, “My Soul’s Language” also on Amazon.

Spirituality

Leaning into love

This post has been on my heart for some time now. All the pain and suffering I am watching out there is for a reason. God and the Universe have put us into a forced reset. We are being made to rebirth ourselves. We are being asked to look deep within, for humanity’s sake. The systems that we were living in were and are broken. How we treat our planet, each other and most especially ourselves. Where are our values and what’s our top priority? These two things have been misguided for sometime now. Time to start anew.

I know it’s incredibly frightening at times. So many of us are out of work, myself included. We’ve been pulled out of our “normal” day to day lives and made to stay home. Left to our own devices. At this point we are all in a grieving process for what once was. I believe that whatever God sends us through, especially on a global scale like this, is because we need to learn something and this pandemic is serving as God’s lesson of love.

We are created out of love, by love, with love about love and for love. Everything we are is love, our entire being sparked into creation from it. Life in the beginning is innocence. Learning from our loved ones how to be, think and act. Then the cruelty of the world gets ahold of us. Conditioning starts and programming begins forcing us to forget about the love. Parents and caregiver’s mean well but the time constraints of allowing for and explaining feelings to a young person gets less and less attention if at all. Carrying on with what society deems important, what success looks like all the while replacing love with stoicism, vanity, greed, capitalism etc. We learn to lose our origins of love while searching for acceptance, validation and worthiness.

I don’t claim to know when or how exactly all of this takes it’s turn but what I do know is that love and feelings…..specifically feelings become messy. We are asked time again to ignore them and “being strong” and told by our parents, “look what you made me do”. Our innocence is tarnished by others judgements and opinions. The choice becomes clear. Either conform or be cast out. I know many whom have chosen to conform. They have just as many problems as those of us who are cast out.

Me……I have always felt different. Weird. Not like the others. My senses operate on an extra sensory perception level. Fun fact and an important piece that will tie this part in later😉 Did you know that we don’t even have tools to fully measure the sights, sounds and colors of our Universe? We have only measured something like 4% of the electromagnetic field which our Universe is made up of. I state this because from a young age I felt, smelled, watched in awe and heard so many things I couldn’t fully process or explain. From a young age I felt misunderstood and on the outside looking in. I did my best to conform, learning from the ones around me how to behave and get by. My parents loved me and raised me the best way they knew how. They weren’t equipped to raise a child like me who was born with all her senses on high like somebody turned the dial to max during my conception. Like all of us growing up I did what I was told so I could be loved and accepted as one of them.

It’s taken me years and years of self introspection to know what makes me unique is my soul. Getting into touch with this inherently free part of myself is the best gift I could have ever given to myself. It’s taken this slowed down pace our world is in recently for me to truly embrace and understand these qualities about myself on an entirely new level. I love living out every bit of my quirky weirdness, walking through life leading with my big heart first and using the innate ability to understand our world on a deeper level that keeps me curious about others along my path. I have always been fascinated by the human condition and what makes us tick🤔

We are all in this thing called life together. Why not allow ourselves to love each other unconditionally? No matter what we look like, what gender we identify as, what our beliefs are, the balance in our bank accounts, one thread is constant and that is we all have struggles. That’s what this virus is teaching me as it affects anyone no matter of these aforementioned reasons. Some of us have learned to hide it better than others. I wonder, does that make them better than the ones that wear their hearts on their sleeve? As I see it, it’s our feelings that make us human and sets us apart from other animals. Our ability to express them. There is strength in crying and a hugely powerful releasing quality. Scientists even study different kinds of tears under microscopes to determine their chemicals. All play an important role. I’m reminded here of one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite actors, Johnny Depp.

Wise words

By now my dear readers you should know that I consider myself in that latter group. I have always walked to the beat of my own drum. Since my senses are heightened putting me into the extra sensory perception category, there was always something that was too loud, too bright, smelled too strong, felt too deeply etc. I was often told to betray what I was picking up on because I was too much, at least that’s the message I received. My Mom has told me how she and my Dad knew I was different from birth because of how I reacted to the world in an extra sensitive way. I was born fully encased in the vernix, the doctors call it vernix caseosa.

In many spiritual circles it is seen as magic, only 1 in 80,000 births are babies born en caul birth which is also called a “veiled birth.” Most often occurring during a cesarean birth. My mother delivered me vaginally which is even more rare to witness. She likes to tell me how all the nurses were in awe of me and told her how immediately special I was because I was born in an unbroken sac of white jelly like substance.

I can’t tell you for sure whether or not being born this way has impacted my life today in scientific terms. All I know is what my Mom has told me and has continued to be in awe of regarding this fact of when I was born. My Mom is and has always been my biggest cheerleader. I love you dearly Mom❤

I have been receiving many messages, none of which are veiled about what this time is meant to teach us. That my dears is love. Lead with love first in all your interactions and you can never go wrong. In times of doubt, ask yourself, “what would love do next”. The poem I wrote below , “Rhythm,” is my ode to the people in this world who have felt just like me. The weirdos, the freaks, the misunderstood and the loners. The sensitive ones. We have experienced the dark side of humanity and therefore know how beautiful and awe inspiring the light is. This shift is going to make it possible, I can feel it. We can hold each others hands while we ALL dance in a circle around the light. I can feel it my dears, can you?

“Rhythm”

I have been pushing myself outside the box by attending poetry slams. This has been one of my goals in this new year and since I haven’t attended one for a few months, here’s a video of myself reciting “Rhythm”.

In my bathroom studio

Please check out my first book of poetry available now on Amazon entitled “Emotional Musings” and stay tuned for my 2nd book to be released soon entitled, “My Soul’s Language” by Maria Teresa Pratico 😊