What does being home mean to you? Gaius Plinius Secundus, a Roman philosopher better known as Pliny the Elder (or just Pliny to his friends) said “Home is where the heart is.” Almost two thousand years later, who would have thought home is where the heart – and other organs – could also be monitored and managed. This phrase means that no matter who you are with or where you are in the world, your family and home holds the deepest affection and emotional pull. It is the place where you have a foundation of love, warmth, and happy memories. It might not always be the building itself, but being near your loved ones.
After my trip to Rhode Island, I have been processing a lot of what my life has been like since leaving a place I called home for thirteen years. I had many reasons to leave and I thought for so long that I couldn’t go back. After ten years of moving around constantly, healing in psychiatric hospitals (both inpatient and outpatient) and a stint in rehab which lead to spiritual experiences that sparked another Kundaluni awakening (the 1st one was in 2011) I know home is in my heart. My heart is front and center, open wide and I finally feel secure in expressing myself from this place no matter where I live. The phrase, “no matter where you go, there you are” suits me. You can’t ever escape your own truths, trust me my dear readers because I tried desperately to erase who I am.
Nowadays I embrace my both my strengths and weaknesses, weirdness and philosophical depths, extra sensory gifts and soul truth. We are upon the eve of a New Moon that begins at 7PM EST tomorrow May 11, 2021. The number eleven is significant because it’s double 1 which stands for new beginnings. The Divine number of this date is two which symbolizes balance and partnerships. The planetary alignment has Jupiter in the zodiac house of Pisces. The last time this occurred was in 2010-2011. The personal significance for me is that was the period of time when my first Kundalini awakening occured. This type of awakening is defined as a surge of Divine feminine energy that spirals through the chakra system causing such symptoms as waking up at random hours of the night, sweating, crying, or even literally feeling an intense rush of energy going up your spine. You feel a sudden need to make radical changes in your life.
For me, this lead to a series of severe mental breakdowns ending in a suicide attempt. All completely necessary and now ten years later I look at as a gift of desperation that propelled me along the journey to reclaim my soul. This time around I feel whole, finally having claimed my calling as a shaman. The sessions I have held lately bring me to my knees in awe of the immense power to heal both myself and others bestowed upon me by Spirit.
The poems I write are guided messages for either myself or clients, channeled from a wide array of Spirits. The movement I cultivate as my soul’s medicine aids my own healing and my intention for sharing it is to bring hope that can serve others and inspire change. Ten years ago I was drowning myself in alcohol, dissociative episodes, over exercise and work. Dancing to the piano version of “Chandelier” by Sia, is my crawl out of that darkness into the light. A reminder to always hold onto hope.
You know by now by reading my blog posts how much I love spending time out in nature. The beach is my happy place and where I go to gain serenity, clarity and inner peace. Tapping into the biological connection we share with the mighty ocean is how I reconnect to my own strength and power. How do you reconnect with yourself my dear readers?
May this New Moon allow you to pick up from where you began back in 2010-2011, planting seeds for your security at home and healing your heart. We are coming out of hibernation mode, stretching our limbs and climbing into new skin with a fresh start. Springtime is in full bloom and is readily available in the heart by choosing to love yourself.. Forgiveness of the past and reclaiming what you know to be true in your heart. This is the continuous cycle of healing from the human condition. I originally wrote the poem “Transformation” on July 18, 2020. At that point I was just starting the apprenticeship hours of healing others through the art of shamanism. Exoanding now upon those intentions, with this New Moon I’m dreaming big, shooting for the stars and opening myself wide to the miracles the Universe provides us everyday upon waking us up with the Sun and tucking us into sleep by the Moon.
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In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.