Spirituality

Heart’s a flutter

Since Saturday’s Lion’s Gate portal opening and breathwork ceremony that I took part in I have been feeling on top of the world my dear readers! The ceremony was especially powerful delivering so much continued healing for my mind, body and spirit. If you get an opportunity to participate in a breathwork class, do it!! Breathwork is extremely transformative and fosters healing on a physical, mental and spiritual level giving your body just what it needs. It helps to relive or re-experience traumatic events and process deep emotional wounds. The practice is also somatic and weaves together mindfulness and sound vibrations in such a way that I find incredibly soothing. My entire body buzzes as I can hear my own blood flowing through my body. I have laughed, cried and moaned creating noises that are guttural in nature and deliver a feeling of tremendous bliss afterwards. This particular session was extremely visual thanks to my spirit guides and the information shared with me from Divine. My dear soul sister Chrissy Marie holds them once or twice a month via Zoom. Check her out on Instagram @comealivewithchrissymarie

My heart is so incredibly full and expansive. As an intuitive empath, I usually receive clues regarding such transformative events beforehand that I know will impact me in this way and it was no surprise to me that Friday afternoon while sitting in my favorite park I felt a rush of serene energy wash over me. My entire aura turned blue in color which represents an eased nervous system, a balanced existence that alchemizes life force energy into an overall feeling of cool, calm and collectedness. It felt like my entire body, mind and spirit took a deep breath and was relieved….a real AH-HA moment. I wrote this poem soon after sitting with myself for what felt like hours🥰

Restoration of faith

On Sunday my son Ty and I spent the entire day outdoors enjoying the beautiful but super hot and steamy weather here in South Florida. My mindset continued to shift and process what I like to refer to as waves of change in a much less resistant manner than that of the last three months. I believe all the deeply concentrated inner and introspective work I have been doing is finally paying off coupled with a more relaxed astral energy in our cosmos currently. It’s a welcomed breath of fresh air for sure!

Waves of change

August is a big month for my family and friends birthday wise. I have a long list of loved ones that celebrate their revolution around the Sun this month. My niece and goddaughter turned 21 yesterday which is such a milestone birthday. I am so blessed to have played an integral role in her upbringing and was the 3rd person to hold her after she was born! Gabriela was the first baby born between my two closest sisters and I, her birth was incredibly monumental for our family. Here is a picture of our first meeting and the poem I wrote in her honor to celebrate and remember the day.

First time I held Gabriela
Happy 21st birthday

I’ve decided to take the rest of this month to continue processing and enjoy my newly found footing and freedom of spirit. I won’t be posting here for at least the next two weeks and have also decided to take a much needed detox from my other social media platforms. Going off the grid by putting myself in an intentional blackout is good for my self care. I will continue my other writing practices, I just won’t be posting anything publicly. I have been receiving many messages that it’s time for me to start writing my long awaited memoir, a project I have been contemplating for many years now. I would like to take the rest of August to get started on that and see where it leads me.

If you’d like to contact me for a tarot card reading, shamanic healing session or check out my three books of poetry please follow this link below. It’s a one stop place for everything Maria Teresa and Emotional Musings. Enjoy the rest of your summer my dear ones. So much love to you all😎

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Writing from my soul

My dear readers this piece may seem rambling yet it’s a peek inside my stream of consciousness journal. When I read it back to myself I often chuckle because I think in such rhyme and metaphor. I amuse myself on days like today when my heart strings are being especially tugged. Today is my eldest son’s 19th birthday. It also marks exactly 3 months since I kissed my partner goodbye, for now, we plan on being reunited here soon once he can get his personal affairs in order. Our current world’s dilemma gave our lives a really good shakeup, as it did everybody else🌍

Don’t get me wrong, this is by no means a negative thing. Change and transformation are necessary in life. I chose to embrace whatever is thrown at me with a “it is what it is” mentality and roll with it. That’s the challenge, life is 10% of what happens and 90% how you react or respond to it. My dear readers, since my mission here with my blog is to be 100% transparent, you can clearly read about my challenges. I absolutely refuse to let anything take me down, out or under…..EVER! It’s the warrior in me to survive, learn and keep pushing forward embracing each moment for what it is💪

Just one year ago I made myself some self care promises to include certain practices that I wanted to instill into my life daily. Reading, journaling, meditating and exercising are the four agreements I keep with myself (I’m a huge fan of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The 4 Agreements”). This routine, along with a few others are non negotiables for me. They are how I survive in this world as a woman who is extremely self aware, an intuitive empath with keen psychic abilities who has a gigantic heart. I must protect myself and love myself first and foremost. Here’s a peek at what I scribbled today✒

“This writer’s soul is a place I often go to hide from the thunderous energies and plunders of all the others. Negativity is such a bummer as it pulls me down in spirals that threaten to darken my upbeat and light morale. Whenever I feel a quivering sickness inside my belly, investigate I will to search out its origin of dwelling. Perpetually it’s another’s hell I’ve uncovered seeing through to their sickness and confusion. It closes in on my light without much warning. Always vigilant and prepared, I mentally construct my light shield and soon I’m covered. A bright white wall of light six feet around and six feet high, I slip inside and now safely occupy. I can take a deep breath now. My mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and cosmic energy is fully intact inside this wall while I never wander away mindlessly far from home without it. I’ve spent years constructing this wall of light, brick by brick so nothing can penetrate it, it’s so thick. Mostly it’s in place to block out other’s fears that threaten to distract my train of heart and love”.

My fellow empaths understand exactly what I’ve just described here because they too use this mental exercise in their bag of coping tricks. I thought I should share it in case anybody else is having a tough time out there dealing with some people who just seem to walk around in a cloud of darkness. There’s nothing wrong with them, it’s just that we empaths can get really thrown off by this vibration and most often it’s best not to absorb it if we can catch it. Then we can continue to shine and spread out our love’s light. I envision empaths as the human version of the Care Bears🌈

God’s smiling at us🌈

Here’s the poem I wrote in honor of Ty’s birthday. I’m regularly blown away by this young man. Lately, people have mistaken him for my brother which I must admit is hilarious 🤣 He takes after his father height wise at almost 6 feet while I’ve remained 5’2 since 7th grade!

“You electrify my ❤”

Today at the park, I recorded myself reciting it😊

For my Ty💗

Lastly, this is a poem I wrote describing what this past year has truly felt like, reclaiming my soul and going through this spiritual awakening. I’m more me now than ever. Blessings and love to you all my dears 🙏

Want to contact me for a tarot card reading or a shamanic healing session? Check out my books of poetry available on Amazon. Click this one link for all my information in one place😊

https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Love is a choice

Lately I’ve had a lot of time to think and be with myself. I started reading a book that looks at how we define love in our culture and how we are living in a largely loveless society. Whether you were raised in a functional or dysfunctional home, with one or both parents, not dependent upon financial standing, race or religion so many of us question what the true meaning of love is and many of us have never experienced it. We have a better understanding of care and affection but love takes a different level of unconditional commitment. A kind of “no matter what” place of focus. My dears, we are definitely in search of it. I like the definition that is presented by M. Scott Peck in his classic book “The Road Less Traveled” in it he clearly defines love as “ the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” To go on he says, “Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely, both an intention and an action. Will implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” “I believe in order “to love someone completely, openly and honestly while expressing care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment and trust” we must truly be ready to willing to openly focus on each of these values with our whole heart. For me love is not a noun but a verb.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, love is my lane. For me, giving and sharing the love that’s in my heart is akin to The Golden Rule. I have raised my boys by reminding them frequently that they may not like other people but you must always love others. Loving others is something that comes natural for me and the more I look around the more I believe love is needed in all of our interactions with one another for than ever! The pandemic and current long overdue social uprising is begging of us to love one another my dears. Like one of my favorite bands sang, “All you need is love”. Yes, we sure do❤

I was listening to another Beatles song today off “Rubber Soul” on my bike ride. “The Word” really made me think about love in a way that I hadn’t before. Here are the lyrics:

The Word

The Beatles

Say the word and you’ll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

In the beginning I misunderstood
But now I’ve got it, the word is good

Spread the word and you’ll be free
Spread the word and be like me
Spread the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

Every where I go I hear it said
In the good and bad books that I have read

Say the word and you’ll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is love?

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

Now that I know what I feel must be right
I’m here to show everybody the light

Give the word a chance to say
That the word is just the way
It’s the word I’m thinking of
And the only word is love

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word, love

Say the word love
Say the word love
Say the word love
Say the word love

What sparked all these thoughts about love? After taking part in the ‘Wounded Healer” interview last week and in the post before that one called, “Triumphing over Trauma” where I wrote about releasing shannon a deeper level, forgiving myself and it struck me. I’ve decided to destroy the mask I wore so often completely and forever, once and for all! You know the one we wear for society, for family gatherings at times, the one we put on so we feel “safe” and so others won’t judge us or ridicule us. Imagine if we all said NO to putting that damn mask on? Oh how much lighter I feel even writing that!

This past year I have been hyper focused on my healing from the inside out. I reclaimed practices, did a lot of deep inner soul work that required an extended amount of alone time and quiet contemplation, meditation and intentional detaching from things that were the root cause of my suffering. Today I woke up and decided in order to step forward and accept the Maria I am today, I must decide who I no longer am.

I have decided that in order to be vulnerable, honest and loving towards myself I have to keep strict boundaries with others. Listen closely to my intuition and protect my precious emotional energy at all costs. Say NO when I feel any of these things are being threatened and giving myself permission to allow for grace and gentleness from myself. For so many years I thought I had to kick me own ass in order to be successful and get things done. Now I know that I need to be still in order to hear what my next steps should be. I can move energy in and through my body in a much more gentle flowing way while pumping the brakes on the old balls to the wall mentality. All that did was exhaust and hurt me creating an inevitable burnout. Today, it’s clear, my choice is to love me!

By loving myself, I’m free to love others without resentment or expectations. Like the Beatles sing, “it’s so fine, like sunshine” and now I know that what I feel must be right, I’m here to show everybody the light.” The light that is within me. Once we can discover our light and allow it to shine from the inside out as God intended….OH BOY my dear readers, what a world we could all be enjoying together! I’m reminded of another song, “This little light of mine” that I’m sure most of you have either heard or sung growing up. I just love the playful energy that ignites within my soul and releases my true authentic spirit being reminded of this lesson😉

These three poems are focused on the ideas of love, gratitude and aliveness. I want to share them with you my dear readers. Allow these words to resonate deep within your own heart and then go out and love the heck out of everyone you meet!

“Let love shine in”
“Grateful aliveness”
“Growing pains”

Please check out my 3 books of poetry now available on Amazon at the links below 😊

Spirituality

Breath is life

I am so happy to say good bye to April and welcome in May😊 Last month was one of the hardest of my entire life. More details to come on that subject in future posts but for this post I would like to express my new found love for breathwork. You may be thinking my dear readers, what is breathwork? Here’s Google’s definition: Breathwork defines various breathing practices in which the conscious control of breathing is said to influence a person’s mental, emotional or physical state, with a claimed therapeutic effect. Last evening I participated in my second such course offered and facilitated by my dear friend Christina Tucciarone aka @comealivewithchrissymarie on Instagram.

Chrissy has an amazingly powerful presence as both a leader and a teacher. She and I have worked together a few times and I feel so blessed to call her my friend. I sincerely appreciate her devotion to what she teaches coupled with her insightful guidance during each session. Last night I really appreciated her steady reminders to push through the resistance that can be felt once the body is fully oxygenated. There were three rounds of active breathing for 7 minutes and then a minute each of holding the breath and releasing it at the bottom. During the first round I immediately felt pulled to the wounds from my inner child and an intense sense of fear and sadness. My entire body went completely numb. I knew instinctively that my body was attempting to dissociate. This coping mechanism is something I developed at a young age during the sexual abuse I endured. It served as a survival technique then and I must admit for most of my life over the past 35 years.

In the past year, since acknowledging and healing from this dark secret I have experienced a spiritual awakening that has transformed my life in such a way I view it has the Maria I was before June of 2019 and the Maria I am now. Going in and out of dissociative episodes when I found myself involved in intense emotional situations has been both a subconscious and conscious way for me to escape from reality. Over the years I had become very keenly aware of what was triggering me yet at the height of those experiences I was dumbfounded as to how to stop them from occurring. It felt humiliating afterwards when I would “wake up” and realize how much time I had lost. During the recent Divine Intervention session I had, Mr. Adifon confirmed that I regularly lose hours and still days of myself. Maria feeling Maria 100% of the time is very new still. Last night was a reminder of how going to that detached place no longer serves me.

I began to explore what little Maria was telling me. I listened and began a running dialogue in my mind with her, soothing her fears and reestablishing trust by vowing to not abandon her again. The human brain fascinates me. How such an intense level of fear and panic can create a whole new space for our psyche’s to travel to if just for a visit! My mind created this safe space, like a holding pattern for little Maria to still exist in yet not feel what was happening. Violation of a child is so seriously shameful.

However damaging that experience has been to my life I don’t regret it. I have learned so much about myself and the world around me from every single experience, everyday and in each moment over the past 42 years. Putting all judgements aside, good, bad, ugly and beautiful what I have learned is how vital all of it is to living a full life.

Here are some of the main things I have learned about myself over this past year……but most assuredly had them solidified last month. These were the messages I told little Maria I was proud of her for. Experiencing the pain of long held fear is absolutely terrifying when first felt yet in moment last night I knew I had to take control of my healing and be my own hero.

You are not afraid of change, you welcome it with an open mind and heart.

You have an intense love and trust for others, humanity fascinates you and you never meet a stranger.

Keep wearing your heart on your sleeve and remain proud of your free spiritedness.

You allow your big heart to lead in and through life’s ups and downs. Don’t ever change that Maria.

Empathy and intuition are your superpowers.

You my dear little Maria are extremely resilent.

Keep the people you love whether family or friends close to your heart creating friends for life!

It was an awesomely amazing hour. I cried a lot with becoming so flushed with emotion, sweat and gratitude seeped out of every pore in my body as we finished and wrapped up the session. I quickly composed myself and tucked myself under my trusty weighted blanket. Then I grabbed my journal to document the experience. I then took a separate sheet of paper out and wrote down the things I knew were time to release and let go of. My convictions growing deeper with every step towards the backyard, I read my own words aloud then lit the paper on fire. I closed the ritual with a personal prayer.

I wrote the poem below on Friday, before the breathwork course last evening. I’m so grateful for understanding and accessing my intuition and continuing to heal my inner child wounds. Life never ceases to surprise and amaze me. As always, with an open mind and heart I humbly bow my head and give thanks to God🙏

Intuition

Spirituality

Rooted in love

Yesterday when I awoke my dear readers I felt like a major shift had taken place in my body overnight.  I stepped into the backyard and the sun was shining so brightly, not a cloud in the sky. The air felt crisp and clean with no humidity at all. I stretched out on my lounge chair to first meditate and then read the daily passage out of Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening”. I can’t express enough the warm feelings of happiness and joy that started to spread throughout my body from my feet to the top of my head. An overall sense of hope for the better days that lay ahead is rooted, anchored in my soul and after I was finished meditating tears came streaming down my face.

I have been conferring with a few of my other friends who are also empaths and they too feel this shift. We are becoming more grounded into this new paradigm and our gifts for everything extra sensory and higher consciousness are becoming more and more enhanced and realized. I feel we are leading the way for the rest of humanity to enter into a more caring and cooperative system. In a word, it’s pretty damn cool.

The energy was flowing steady and in such a way I felt inclined to practice a ballet routine I haven’t danced in many years! Afterwards, I put my bathing suit on and soaked up as much glorious sunshine as I could take😎

I have had so much creativity coarsing through my veins lately. I ventured back into the much warmer late afternoon sun 🌞 with my journal, sketch book and paints. Yesterday’s weather was most definitely a perfect 10, Mother Nature was showing off her beauty and all creatures in nature were a buzz in it too! I have been jokingly calling the backyard “Wild Kingdom” because there are multiple species of birds in the many trees back there. Oh those magnificent trees caught my eye and my heart today becoming my muse🎨

I ❤ 🌳

After I finished my painting, I took a dear friend of mine’s suggestion to put on some 90s music and dance it out!! I credit R.E.M. for the inspiration to last night’s dance party and their song, “Shiny Happy People” was most befitting to my mood😉 I just love how much dancing frees my soul and makes my ❤ so happy! I’m so grateful to be able to see my own soul’s purpose and have all of this time to sit with myself to strengthen the bond I have with myself. It’s days like this that allow me to look in the mirror and honestly tell myself, “Maria….I love you” and my dear readers that is a marvelous feeling. Something really good is on the way, I just know it!

I am choosing to learn from these endless seeming days we have in quarantine. As long as I have my morning routine locked down as tightly as the city I live in….I am going to be A OK😊

Feeling this big heart of mine expand as of late into an even more compassionate, understanding and deeper well. Sending so much love out to the world today. Feeling called to spread my inner light wide and steady so it may reach whomever needs a bit of unconditional ❤ today. Be good to one another, we are entering into a whole New Earth my dear ones😉

This empath’s ❤

This poem was originally written a year ago but I feel compelled to share it in this post because it’s exactly how I feel.

I wrote this poem two days ago after morning meditation and journaling. Keeping in constant communication with myself about what my true intentions are allows my love to radiate from the inside out my dears🥰

Lover of the light🌠

After I wrote this poem, I painted this. My Mom fell in love with it so much I decided to send it to her so she can frame it. We both love the sun so much and because she lives in Florida, it’s perfect for her home on the lake 🌅

Love & Light

Wishing all of my dear readers a wonderful holiday weekend with an abundance of love, good health and peace ❤✌🙏

Spirituality

Lately

It’s been a rough week for me my dear readers. Obviously with what’s going on in our world and being an intuitive empath, I have been picking up on all the feelings and emotional energy of others. The following are a few quick videos of me and lastly a poem I just finished. My hope for us all.

Outside thoughts 🍃

Feelin more like myself. Taking each day as it comes. This morning as I sat in meditation, I started sobbing. Not necessarily tears of sadness or joy just a release, a  non judgemental one that took days to flow through me. It’s important to allow whatever is coming up….be it energetically, emotionally, physically or spiritually…..resist the urge to shut it down, numb out or dissociate from it. It’s all normal right now y’all. We are ALL TOGETHER AS A WORLD experiencing major life changes.

I love you all and am sending out the purest of loving intentions from my ❤ to your ❤


Brighter than yesterday 🌞

This is my latest mantra for peace, health and unity for all of us right now. For our world🌎❤🦋🙏😊✌

I hope 🙏

As always, much love❤🌎✌

Spirituality

Let’s dive into our soul

This post has been trying to manifest itself for sometime my dear readers. With this ever changing situation our entire world is in, coupled with the spiritual growth I myself have been experiencing, HOLY MOLY y’all!!!! The messages, downloads actually, come so intensely at times it overwhelms my entire system. This week as I sat in Mother Nature’s excellence, I was finally able to piece together all of what was being revealed to me. I’m so grateful to have been able to finally sit with it all to make sense out of it😊

It is said that we attract what we need in this life and I firmly agree. The relationships I cultivate are exactly what I need to learn and gain wisdom from. For a very long time I brought in others who were broken, narcissistic and displayed deep sociopathic behaviors. Yet after this summer’s breakthrough, I see everything from a new light. I thank our God and creator for that whole heartedly. The perspective of “victim and why me” is now thank God me, what is this meant to be teaching me? I feel like my soul is this giant sponge just soaking up the energy of others to be nurtured into a more acceptable and loveable Maria❤

We are all interconnected and only together do we rise. Plug yourself into a soul tribe, learn from others and in turn gain an inner wisdom that is your own soul’s language. My dear reader’s that is what this down time has taught me. Whenever I am feeling resistance to what, specifically my partner whom I have been forced to be with 24/7 in a very small space is saying (at times shouting at me) I can go outside and say ah-ha!!! The stubborn Itialian girl inside needed to hear that. I needed to see that side of my own ego thinking to be able to accept that there is always another way of looking at the world 🤗

I feel very blessed to have so much quiet time lately. Tuning into my own natural rhythm and parsing out just what I make of the world around me. Going deeper. That is always my destination. As my son Ty would say, wow Mom that’s deep. Yes my dear it is and it’s only there that the truth lies. Whether I’m bouncing off the walls exercising, tap dancing or sun bathing in my backyard…..the Universe is constantly sending me affirmations and synchronization of prior messages as if to say “keep going, you are on the right path my dear.” As a devoted student of this spiritual journey, I bow my head and oblige 🙌

The things that have brought this naturally high vibe, extroverted and upbeat woman an abundance of peace has been maintaining my routine. Like my partner Lincoln asked once, “does spirituality take a day off?” In response I shook my head casually and said “Nope baby.” Everyday I open my eyes and charge forward with a real conviction to meet my soul wherever I am at and in that moment. Here is a small list of what I do before I begin interacting with the world around me:

Reading affirmations

Open Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening” to read that day’s passage

Putting the chakra balancing crystals upon my chakra points while I turn on the SoundHeal app, sitting quietly for 10-15 minutes in whichever frequency I feel suits me in that moment.

My holistic arsenal of essential oils and chakra balancing crystals

After that I grab my journal and pour out my thoughts without thinking, judging or stopping. I believe in free association writing in the morning so I can get in touch with whatever my soul is connecting with at that moment. My dear readers, I can’t express to you how much these practices have meant to me over the last 9 months and how much inner wisdom I have gained from allowing myself to go in whatever direction is necessary. Working up that spiritual muscle 💪is needed for when I am called into battle as the human vessel I embody in this life. It’s all gravy or a cherry on top, however one chooses to see it🍨

This morning I was served the first test of my patience as I awaited the test results from the Covid19 test I had administered to me on Tuesday. My brother in law drove my partner and I to a drive through testing facility in downtown Dallas where they stuck a q-tip up to my brain space quite literally to retrieve a sample of my mucus membranes. I was then told to wait 2-3 days for a phone call giving me the results. This morning at 8:22 AM I answered that call only to find out that the person who took down my information had made an error in documenting my address (yes, I know what you’re thinking dear readers, why wasn’t my driver’s license scanned digitally) Without being able to verify me properly, even by my driver’s license number (I offered it too) I would have to wait for a call back🙄

I’m not someone who accepts NO for an answer. So I went about calling any official number I could find, even finally speaking to a supervisor at the state of Texas board of health to not only tell them of my story but to ask how I retrieve the result. In the meantime, 5 plus hours of frustration ensued. My partner and I are quarantined in our small apartment with no hot water (that’s another story for another time) his mother and aunt who are elderly and immune deficient are alone in the main house without our help and his brother has been banished to a room in his house all because we don’t know for sure if  I have this dreaded virus 🤬

Houston we have a problem

One more avenue I exhausted was registering myself on the website of the lab who administered the test only to find out that there were no known lab results for me. As of 5:45 PM, the time I am writing this post, I still have no answers. At this point, can I trust the result to even be accurate?

I share all of this to express to you all that we truly have very little control over what happens in our world. Even when we follow the guidelines and do what we are instructed. The only real truth is what lies within our soul. There lies our true North star and whatever I find there is what God wants for me to know and understand. I trust in that. I am guided by love and driven by faith🙏

I will leave you with this my dear readers. After my morning of frustration and aggravation, I put on my favorite music and got my workout on!! Sweating out all the crap I can’t change or control. Dancing to my favorite tunes until I was thoroughly exhausted and expressed💃

Live your truth, express your soul because that’s all that matters 🙌❤

A great man who helped to shape the music industry in our world, Mr. Quincy Jones said this and I firmly agree…..”Not one drop of my self worth depends on your acceptance of me”

Spirituality

A little bit of sunshine

Hey y’all!! I returned back here to Texas from Florida late Sunday night. I gave myself permission to rest and do nothing yesterday which is a real challenge for me having the amount of energy I do 😜 The weather cooperated however and was quite dreary with rain, inviting me to lay under the covers, snuggle with my partner while we watched movies🎬 one of my favorite down time activities.

To do list

The clouds parted and the sun was shining bright today here my dear readers! YAY, I am a huge sun lover 😉 I must express how welcoming this felt here since Dallas has been under rain storms for over two weeks now 🌞 I made my daily morning shake using these supplements. Took my vitamins, put on my work out clothes and headed into my backyard😎

Plant based protein & maca powder
Supergreens for superior health

First I read my daily affirmations, repeating them once over with my eyes closed. Then I read a page under today’s date in Mark Nepo’s “Book of Awakening” which focused on growing even in darkness. Ah Mr. Nepo, how your words hit so close to home today. I would be lying if I said that the current state of our world hasn’t gotten me rattled and worried. As an intuitive empath, the energy swirling around me affects me differently throughout the day. I am doing my best, my damndest to allow my emotions to flow through without getting stuck on the fear or sadness too much. My anxiety is amped up however, I do have CPTSD and it feels more intense lately in a new way my dear readers.

I spent three hours out there in solitude and it felt wonderful❤ I balanced my chakras using my crystal set too. Putting all of my energy into keeping my thoughts light and positive. Here’s a little video I took afterwards featuring my latest mantra🧘‍♀️

As Above So Below

I am centered. I am balanced. I am encased in white light. I radiate love from the inside out. I am alright🥰

Until next time…..peace, love & light ✌❤🌠

Spirituality

Thoughts on happiness

My dear reader’s I have been having noticing a reoccurring confirmation from friends, mentors along with the messages I receive from the Universe regarding how to obtain lasting happiness. It boils down to this….. it’s definitely an inside job! Nothing external, meaning outside oneself, can make you happy and keep you that way. Boy oh boy has this been a tough lesson to learn for me. There are so many mixed messages out there especially when you are bombarded with advertising promising you that this product or that program will give you all you ever dreamed of along with happiness. It takes going beneath the surface of everything in our society to get the real answer on this one my dears🤔

I firmly believe that a connection to both a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, I chose to call it God and a deep connection with yourself is needed for inner peace and happiness. I myself disconnected from myself many years ago due to trauma and the increasing fear it inflicted upon my life. Over the years, I abandoned belief, trust and love of myself. When I was sexually molested as a child, I internalized that pain and blamed myself. I never told anybody about it so that wound just grew and grew😪

The beliefs I had then were screaming at me everytime something challenging came up like, “you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve that” and “you’re a failure so stop trying.” Either of these beliefs can be destructive to one’s self esteem but both of them wrecked havoc and destroyed my aspirations and dreams. Not to mention the times in my life when I have succumbed to a case of the “fuck its” and chose to be completely self destructive going scorched Earth with my life by quitting everything and everybody with no explanations and running away. I’ve done that too many times during my 42 years that I care to recall here🙄

I tell you dear readers all of this to be able to exclaim that those darker days are officially over! I have faced the pit of my issues, healing from sexual abuse over these past 10 months. I have been able to establish my management position at an amazing boutique downtown. I am about to self publish my second book of poetry. I have gone back into the dance studio and am loving class again. I have attended 2 poetry slams so far this year. I have an interview article coming out soon highlighting my writing career here in Dallas. These are my external accomplishments and achievements but what means more to me on an intimately personal and much deeper level is the acceptance of myself and living authentically every damn day with no apologies. I now know true inner peace😊

My perspective

It’s a major shift of perspective for me to realize that only I can advance or derail my success in life. The main ingredient for this depends on your level of self love. Since June, I have been treating myself a whole heck of a lot better. I’m my own best friend and caregiver. It will still be a work in progress but the internal dialogue with myself, the many parts of me that clammer for attention like my inner child which is still wounded at times, my ego (thinking mind), my instinctive personality (INFJ) and then my intuition which is my highest self’s voice and my soul has reached a point where I can recognize each of these bits of Maria so that I can make decisions based upon my best interests. This is a humungous difference from the previous years of my adulthood! I can honestly say the more I pause to decide how to respond to life’s ebbs and flows, the more I can differentiate between the many facets of me!

For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of being off work and enjoying some much needed free time. I have been listening to 963 Hz tone frequency on the SoundHeal app during my meditation time. At this frequency I’m stimulating and balancing the Sahasrara, thousand petaled or crown chakra. This is generally considered the 7th primary chakra which is the energy center for understanding according to most tantric yoga traditions. It can be used to attain a state of Nivana-oneness. This frequency returns the system to its original state. It is said that when a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, the energy of consciousness, to this chakra the state of Nirvikalpa Samodhi is experienced. Ah….yessssss🧘‍♀️

Well all I can tell you is due to my sensitivity I have been experiencing some amazing benefits from using this frequency. Today, I felt filled with energy. So much so that I went for a long run/walk that amounted to my own personal marathon! I used my MapRun app to track my time/distance/pace and honestly, I didn’t turn it on from the beginning so add another 3 miles to this total…..I completed 27 1/2 miles today 🏃‍♀️

Maria’s marathon 🏃‍♀️

Along the way I was singing out loud to my favorite female 90s pop icons like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I even took a detour to the swings and satisfied little Maria’s love for swinging! It was a welcome break from the path and I must admit felt so fantastic🥰 I just love the exhilarating feeling I get from pumping my legs in order to get as high as I can reach on a swing! This particular swing set is located around mile 8 or so on the running trail that circles White Rock Lake. I observed some very picturesque moments that I captured like these birds sitting in the trees over the lake.

I just adore the feeling I get being out in nature by myself. I feel so alive and whole as is evident in this selfie I took 😎

Hey y’all 🤗

I saw this sentiment near the elevators on a floor of the hotel I work inside a few days ago and quickly snapped a picture of it as inspiration for this post. I agree with Ms. Turner 100%

Lastly, this one sums it up quite honestly and definitely reflects where I am today on my journey. Love, light & peace ❤🌠✌

Where I’m at😉

Spirituality

Monday mood

A follow up on accepting myself, being perfectly imperfect. Also keeping in mind to practice grace under pressure. Showing myself grace is a newly discovered coping skill that my dear friend Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna has taught me and instilled into my being. It feels way better than what I used to do to myself. Loving myself no matter what😊

Perfectly imperfect