The thoughts of a recovering perfectionist need to be parsed out. When the other shoe drops, oh boy can it ever….my mind becomes scrambled eggs. I can’t string one thought to the next while I doubt everything my mind presents me. Hi again, Complex PTSD thinking, nice to see you again, insert sarcasm. Listen, I have been on this awakening ride long enough to realize the healing comes in waves. Never all at once. How would we learn that way. At least I sure don’t.
My soul yearns to be the compass most days. I have understanding enough to know that reality is an illusion because ego predicts 90% of what we see as truth. It takes a deep dive to see that a higher consciousness is needed to integrate all parts of self. When I find self caught up in my head, deciding my next direction becomes complicated. That’s where I have have found myself lately. Too caught up, fighting my own mind. Giving myself permission to feel this as it flows through my body. Telling myself to go with the flow, the less I resist the more easily it is to let go of these moments instead of becoming paralyzed by them.
My name is Maria Teresa Pratico-Swanson. I'm a woman walking this journey of life in truth. I am a certified master shaman, specializing in healing trauma. Practicing the art of shamanism has transformed my life, liberated my authentic spirit, awakened and freed my soul. I use my sensitivities as superpowers, and the power of love is what fuels my magic as a shamanic healer. My creativity is my soul's expression, purpose, and passion, which I express through my healing services, writing poetry, hosting a blog, dancing, painting, and practicing yoga. My motto is "Triumphing over Trauma". In 2011, after a lifetime of trauma I became aware that I needed to reconnect with my soul. Healing integrates all aspects of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual selves. Unraveling conditioning and programming continues to take introspection, patience and grace. I'm committed to my practice of healing from the human experience as an awakened soul. I believe I am here to help heal humanity one heart at a time. I offer shamanic healing sessions and have written 6 books of poetry available on Amazon. "Emotional Musings" "My Soul's Language" "My Heart's Song" "My Soul's Light" "My Soul’s Journey:Lessons learned through love" and "My Soul’s Dance, Accepting the shadows while embracing the Light: poems about death and rebirth" For more detailed information follow this link
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
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11 thoughts on “Thoughts from a recovering perfectionist”
That’s a great poem!! I’ve never struggled with perfectionism, but it sounds tough!!
Thank you Meg. I have struggled with it my entire life. Mostly stemming from growing up as the middle child in a dysfunctional family. Also , competitively dancing created an eating disorder that dictated the need to be perfect on the outside, an unattainable standard that I fought for many years.
Every so often, I get triggered into that conditioned mindset. Thankfully I can acknowledge it and observe it without diving deeply into acting upon it.
Wow, it’s awesome that you can detach from that mindset!! Go you!! Eating disorders and physical perfection make me so sad!! You looked way too pretty in those photos to have been concerned with being thinner! Yikes! But see, now you ARE perfect on the outside because you can stand on your head! (That makes sense to me.)
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Hahaha, I love that!! Thank you. I like to use humor too when things get to serious. It’s a great way of saying 🖕 to whatever irrational thought comes up 😉
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You are so much like me. I LOVE humor, and I wish more depressed people would binge-watch sitcoms (for seriousness). It has a way keeping things in a funnier perspective for sure!! I’m at a point of getting funny all the time without even meaning to! HA HA!
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100% and add more play into out lives!! Can’t take oneself too seriously EVER😁
That’s a great poem!! I’ve never struggled with perfectionism, but it sounds tough!!
Thank you Meg. I have struggled with it my entire life. Mostly stemming from growing up as the middle child in a dysfunctional family. Also , competitively dancing created an eating disorder that dictated the need to be perfect on the outside, an unattainable standard that I fought for many years.
Every so often, I get triggered into that conditioned mindset. Thankfully I can acknowledge it and observe it without diving deeply into acting upon it.
Wow, it’s awesome that you can detach from that mindset!! Go you!! Eating disorders and physical perfection make me so sad!! You looked way too pretty in those photos to have been concerned with being thinner! Yikes! But see, now you ARE perfect on the outside because you can stand on your head! (That makes sense to me.)
Hahaha, I love that!! Thank you. I like to use humor too when things get to serious. It’s a great way of saying 🖕 to whatever irrational thought comes up 😉
You are so much like me. I LOVE humor, and I wish more depressed people would binge-watch sitcoms (for seriousness). It has a way keeping things in a funnier perspective for sure!! I’m at a point of getting funny all the time without even meaning to! HA HA!
100% and add more play into out lives!! Can’t take oneself too seriously EVER😁
Muchas gracias. ?Como puedo iniciar sesion?
This is me. Learning, learning to let go of unattainable perfect and strive for doing my best instead.
Yesssss👏😊 yay for us my friend ❤🙌
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Hi there, please reach out to me through my email if you’d like to schedule a session.