Thoughts from a recovering perfectionist

The thoughts of a recovering perfectionist need to be parsed out. When the other shoe drops, oh boy can it ever….my mind becomes scrambled eggs. I can’t string one thought to the next while I doubt everything my mind presents me. Hi again, Complex PTSD thinking, nice to see you again, insert sarcasm. Listen, I have been on this awakening ride long enough to realize the healing comes in waves. Never all at once. How would we learn that way. At least I sure don’t.

My soul yearns to be the compass most days. I have understanding enough to know that reality is an illusion because ego predicts 90% of what we see as truth. It takes a deep dive to see that a higher consciousness is needed to integrate all parts of self. When I find self caught up in my head, deciding my next direction becomes complicated. That’s where I have have found myself lately. Too caught up, fighting my own mind. Giving myself permission to feel this as it flows through my body. Telling myself to go with the flow, the less I resist the more easily it is to let go of these moments instead of becoming paralyzed by them.

Thoughts of a recovering perfectionist

11 thoughts on “Thoughts from a recovering perfectionist”

    1. Thank you Meg. I have struggled with it my entire life. Mostly stemming from growing up as the middle child in a dysfunctional family. Also , competitively dancing created an eating disorder that dictated the need to be perfect on the outside, an unattainable standard that I fought for many years.
      Every so often, I get triggered into that conditioned mindset. Thankfully I can acknowledge it and observe it without diving deeply into acting upon it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow, it’s awesome that you can detach from that mindset!! Go you!! Eating disorders and physical perfection make me so sad!! You looked way too pretty in those photos to have been concerned with being thinner! Yikes! But see, now you ARE perfect on the outside because you can stand on your head! (That makes sense to me.)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are so much like me. I LOVE humor, and I wish more depressed people would binge-watch sitcoms (for seriousness). It has a way keeping things in a funnier perspective for sure!! I’m at a point of getting funny all the time without even meaning to! HA HA!

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