I’m extremely focused on love for it is the answer my dear readers to all the ails us. Love is the answer is love. Love heals. Love wins. Love is all you need. Let the love you hide away, from yourself and others out!! Don’t be afraid, don’t let fear win. We all have the power for it lies deep within. Who’s with me?
These are the lessons we all are learning, some of us quicker and some of us slower. We need each other, love yourself and then love each other. This is the work I’m devoted to sharing, through my self healing journey. It’s bold and it’s crucially important in turning the tide of where we are in this world. The answers must come from deep inside. Go within and discover what’s there, begin to care and then if you dare…..show the rest of this beautiful world what you’re made of!!! Who’s with me?
Want to contact me for a tarot card reading, shamanic healing or check out my books on Amazon? Click this one link for all of the information in one place😊
Thank you so much Cindy Georgakas of https://uniquelyfitblog.com/ for nominating me for this award!!! I love any opportunity to write and answer questions about myself that help others get to know a bit more about me. Connection with one another, especially with other writers on here brings me so much joy. It takes a village my dears and in times like we are living in currently, I feel very blessed to have such a wonderfully supportive community on here to interact with, share information and a laugh or two😊
Here are the answers to the questions Cindy asked me. I will nominate 10 other bloggers at the bottom of this post. Once again, I appreciate this opportunity Cindy!
If you could do anything you wanted what would it be? I have told my fiancé for the past few years now how much I would love for us to either purchase an RV or mobile tiny home to travel around the country and see what there is to explore. I love car trips and have driven cross country twice along with with many other coastal excursions. Now that I’ve become a shamanic healer, I don’t need to be in one location at all. Emotional Musings incorporates my writing and healing passions, my books of poetry, tarot card readings and shamanic healing sessions. I have always wanted to drive the PCH and explore the west coast. Most of my travels here in the U.S. have been on the east coast where I’m from and the middle of the country. I did go to college in SLC and I love camping in southern Utah, that landscape is my heart. The desert is wild and mysterious to me and inspires my imagination. Travelling in general speaks to my Sagittarius soul, fun loving freedom spirit ♐
2. Who do you admire most and why? Tough question because I admire so many and am influenced by a lot of people both in my world on a daily basis and in the public eye. Currently speaking, I would have to say any artist that puts their heart and soul out there with no apologies or excuses. Some of my favorites currently are Lady Gaga (no relation LOL), Billie Eillish, Bjork and Daft Punk. I chose to mention these creative souls because they can be compared to no one and I love that! I’m all about presenting oneself in the most genuine way that highlights the unique qualities each of us posses as creative artists. Creative expression drives me on a daily basis and I admire that quality in others. For me saying what’s in your heart and standing by it no matter other’s opinions or judgments are is all that matters to me. I’m reminded of Dr. Seuss’s quote, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out”. I admire my parents for doing their best to assimilate in a way more technologically advanced world than the one they grew accustomed to. I admire my oldest son Ty for never letting life get him down and at almost 19 years old, he’s going back into school to continue his education after living on his own for 3 years. My youngest is an emotional warrior at 15 because he and I have been estranged (my ex’s alienation) for over 4 years. Living without your mother must be so difficult for him yet I have complete faith that in time we will be reunited as I have been with his brother. Ultimately I admire any person who is living their dream and expressing themselves authentically. I loathe anything fake or not genuine. As an empath and psychic medium that channels Spirit, I can smell those types of folks a mile away ❤
3. Who has been the biggest influencer in your work? My answer is so similar to the above question. Ultimately my answer is God. Since hitting my rock bottom ten years ago when I attempted to take my own life and woke up in a hospital to learn I was committed, I have been fighting back to learn my soul’s purpose. Finally in this last year I have realigned myself and uncovered that truth. My own soul has been my biggest influencer for sure which only is God powered!! I have a tremendous faith in our creator, hope for tomorrow and enough hootspa and drive to keep me moving forward always. My spirit is strong, it’s my Tephlon shield that protects me against anything life throws my way. Love influences every single thing I do. I chose love over fear always. Never stop loving, myself and others🥰
4. What are you working on in your life? Expanding my brand to reach the masses by writing and healing others. My passions drive me, writing poetry, healing others as a shamanic healer, writing a memoir someday detailing my journey through homelessness, CPTSD, divorce, suicide, job loss and the loss of connection with my own children. Nothing can or will ever break me. I allow my heart to take me where it will and my passion for creative expression is what keeps me going always. The need to express my soul’s deepest desires through writing, music, dance, singing and painting….anything I can do with my own body. Travel is big on my to-do list for the next two years and as long as I keep putting my desires out there, the Universe has my back always. Wherever the wind takes me is where I need to be, I believe in that 🌬
5. What is your favorite saying or affirmation? Again, I have so many, growing up I collected quotes and books of my favorite writers from Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Maya Angelou, Shel Silverstein, Dr. Seuss and Mark Nepo (eclectic array I know). The two I will share here are one by Shakespeare himself, “Thou she be but little, she is fierce” and my own creation, “I am a strong capable woman and a child of God. God loves me eternally”. Those two quotes get me out of bed on a daily basis! 🤗
6. Where is your happy place? I have mentioned this before on my blog. My happy place is the beach, I have saltwater in my veins. Any place near water really gets me excited! A dear friend of mine recently did my Mayan cross and it was of no surprise to both of us that I have the highest energy on their scale at a 13 (1-13 is the scale). I love being anywhere out in nature. Hiking in the mountains, camping in the desert, on a boat in the ocean or on the lake I live on currently, walking along the coastline, out on my bike or for a long run through the nature preserve near my house. I’m happiest outdoors amongst God’s creations. Add in my boys and my fiancé, now I’m golden! 🏖🏕🏞⛰
7. What do you yearn for? For world peace and for each person on this planet to love each other more. My purpose here to to shine light and love by my words, actions and healing abilities. We are all interconnected and what we do to ourselves we do to one another. It’s time for all of us to wake up to that fact and love. “Simple love” is a poem I wrote recently and is my one wish for our world. To treat each other and every living thing on Mother Earth with love, kindness and respect ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
7. What is your favorite thing to do? I was recently interviewed for a dear friend’s podcast, “The Art of Aliveness” on Spotify and iTunes and asked a similar question, “what makes me feel most alive”. Without question it’s dancing and moving my body! Movement ignites my life force energy and I am in a different zone. Most of my dear readers and followers know I sometimes post my dance videos on here. I’m trained in all forms of dance and in my youth danced competitively and wanted to be on Broadway. Growing up outside NYC, provided many opportunities to audition, be an extra in commercials and movies, perform in showcases with other professional dancers and take classes from world renowned artists. My memories from that time are amazing blessings. I have so many wonderful ones of dancing, travelling, experiences with people I love and am still close to today! 💃👯♀️
8. If you could be anyone in the world who would you be? That’s an easy one for me, ME of course. In the words of Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” I spent most of my life dissociated from myself because I was scared of my sensibilities and how I perceived the world. I was labeled “wrong” or “crazy” by many so I detached and did an amazing job of trying to be anyone else BUT me. I have survived a lot of emotional, physical and sexual trauma that also played a role in keeping me away from myself. Living through the past 30 or so years like that was enormously painful on the inside so now I want to spend the rest of my time on Earth here being Maria Teresa 😁
10. You’ll be happy when? I keep myself happy and peaceful everyday by my selfcare routine. Once you know yourself, you know only you can take the best care of you. Again, being realigned with my soul and its purpose has brought me immense happiness and gratefulness. I’m a naturally upbeat, positive and joyful individual so I run with it! 😉
I’ve been spending my days on the patio a lot more lately because that’s where I hold my healing sessions, close to nature and overlooking the glorious lake I live on. The energy out there is so fabulously grounding mostly due to the wind. Plus the side of our house is a virtual rainforest of plants, trees and flowers. Lots of oxygen being emitted out there and blown around. It’s just awesome. I spend time out there writing, holding healing sessions or listening to music. Plus being outdoors naturally does a body good and creates grounding which ignites the body’s self healing mechanisms.
I just finished watching the documentary, The Earthing Movie: The Remarkable Science of Grounding all about how walking around barefoot on the Earth grounds our energy and connects us back into the Universe. Doing this stimulates the body to heal itself naturally because we are all energy and electricity. The work that I’m now honored to be a part of is enhancing my understanding of how the exchange of energy works, what creates blocks (unprocessed emotions),chords (specifically the toxic energy kind that need to be cut) and how this all effects our mind body and spirit connection. It’s absolutely awe inspiring and fascinating. A few months ago I started reading about Quantum psychics too and its relation to reality but I won’t write about it here because I’m still processing it. The long and short of it is that everything we do and interact with from watching television, texting, painting, singing, dancing, playing sports, talking etc. is an energy exchange, has a charge to it and a vibration. I can feel the feelings off the energy that is exchanged with me and intuitively know what’s going on within that person even if it’s from the other side of the world. That’s how mysteriously and so scientifically powerful this entire planet is.
God’s masterpiece is this creation specifically made to work harmoniously together, interconnected and feeding off each living thing on our planet. I liken our brains to a computer program that is created and fed by what we interact with and feed it, all of our experiences in life lay down a blueprint which in turn creates our perceived reality. There is no such thing as space and time for that is manmade to give us a semblance of order. Whether we are awake or asleep, we are dreaming. What is reality for me and what is reality for you my dear readers, well they are different and both are an illusion. The only things that are real are our feelings because they are generated from our hearts. Our heart is the organ that communicates with the brain in four distinct ways: neurologically (nervous system), biochemically (hormones), biophysically (pulse waves) and energetically (electromagnetically). In the 60s and 70s there was research done by John and Beatrice Lacey that observed how our heart communicates with the brain in ways that significantly affect how we perceive and react to the world. I’ve been interested in heart math for a few years now, but that’s for another post by a different writer my loves.
I share all of this to tell you this. After holding a week of my shamanic energy healing sessions I have learned so much more about myself and how I respond and react, my own reality and perceptions with others and the world. I believe that I and others like me were sent to Earth to love. We embrace all living creatures with the desire to love wholeheartedly and completely no matter what. It’s my natural default function to see everything as a connection to myself and the rest of the planet so of course I want to understand how to always do less harm and create more love. My heart is big, a vortex that when you get sucked in it’s near impossible to get out of. I stopped interacting with three people who have come into its grasp and one was the other person’s decision to stop talking to me because it was too emotionally painful for him .Unfortunately, that is my ex-husband because he is emotionally immature, has a low EQ and will never move past his anger and resentments. The other was a girlfriend who became a drain upon me and was extremely toxic to my life. The third was the ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me on multiple occasions because he was working out repressed memories of the relationship with his mother on me like I was her. He was very mentally and emotionally disturbed so for obvious reasons I cut ties. I share this to say I love hard and I love deep. My fiancé knows that he shares me with the rest of the world because it’s part of who I am at my core, at a soul level. It’s part of being an empath, having extra sensory perceptions that manifest psychically and what I use now as a healer to heal others on a body, mind and spiritual level. My heart, my love is how I help others clear out their emotional baggage so that their bodies can flow more easily on an energetic level thus making them happier and more free to connect to their own souls as I have.
The people around us, what we eat, what we feed our bodies…all of it either allows one’s spirit to glow and grow stronger so that we can live out our soul’s purpose or hinders and disables our evolvement. It’s in our soul contracts. We are put through interactions with others to learn from them. Pain is a great motivator and a hard earned teacher. The path of the shaman teaches this and now that I’m in the field seeing people in this capacity it’s amazing how connected it all really is! Tiny scattered pieces blowing all around by the wind, carried off by the seas touching every single one of us.
Yesterday was a big day for my son and I because he was accepted into a technical program for heating and air conditioning. The fact that Ty can continue his education is something I have been manifesting for over a year now. I told him he has won the lottery ticket to life if he completes this certification because the world will always need to keep their environments warm and cool. He is a hands on learner and this is the perfect program for his technically inclined mind. I know he will shine. I’m so proud of him. This development really puts my mind at ease for his future because since the pandemic he has been unemployed and wondering how to start over. I expressed to him that he has time on his side and a youthful mind. Plus watching his Mom reinvent herself, move around the country and discover her own calling serves as inspiration to never give up.
I see us humans so differently now and what we do to each other and Mother Earth. Just look around at our world events. The Universe supports us 100%. We have air to breath, ground to walk upon, water to drink and food to eat. These are constants that are taken for granted too often without questioning or taking time to think about it our impact upon each other and our planet. For the beauty in nature’s continued sake and the wellbeing of one another let’s do better. Love more, judge less. Give more, take less. Raising the collective vibration helps everyone. We are tiny drops of water in the ocean of life my dears. We are here for a short time. We owe it to ourselves and each other to do better.
Please see my contact links to get in touch with me for tarot card readings, healing sessions and my books of poetry at
This has been a very monumental week for me my dear readers. I completed the coursework for my role as a shamanic healer and energy practitioner to an abundance of blessings from the great Divine itself. I have completed two of my healing sessions, one for my teacher Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna and one for my son Ty. Each one felt so familiar yet different because Lindsey’s was conducted virtually over Instagram video chat and Ty’s was in person. I now can say with certainty that I was a shaman in a past life and that I worked with Lindsey in one of them. We have reunited in this life for great things, a purpose that is ever unfolding and so intimately beautiful. I get emotional just thinking about how much she means to me on so many levels, a sister, a mentor, a teacher and a dear kindred spirit friend.
This week for me is what defines a full circle moment. Just one year ago I felt so profoundly lost in my own emotional trauma while reliving the past I thought I had buried when I discovered Lindsey on Instagram and reached out to her for healing. Little did I know how deeply impactful that action would reflect upon my life today! We have completed many sessions together for my own healing and now she has taught me about the art of shamanism in a one on one course each week for the past 2 months that she herself admitted to taking years to grasp and understand because she developed herself, solo. Believe me my dear readers, these past few months have been a whirlwind of change, all necessary and quite painful at times. Since I committed to learn from her, I made a promise to myself to never give up knowing that I deserved to do this for myself. I took the first real and definitive step to create something that I can’t truly define by words only feelings. This process has meant so much to me and to my spirituality my dear readers, a homecoming. A return to oneness and to myself.
It all makes sense now, why I know the things that I know, see and feel so differently from other people. Especially why I cut myself off from these messages and gifts for most of my life. It was out of an overwhelming fear. God sent me on a journey in which I have learned from and now see beauty in. All of the pain, struggle and heartache was for this reason. The path of the wounded healer. Shamans are anointed and initiated in this way, forged in the fire. Embracing the I AM mantra and believing that I can overcome what is holding me back took years of diligence, practice and loss as well as hope, faith and of course a strong reliance upon God. Nothing is possible without my ultimate belief in Him, the creator of all. Our Universe and everything within is intricately dependent and created by God.
Recently I took part in a a fun word prompt challenge on the app that I use to create my poems, Mirakee. Happy 4 years in creation to them by the way! The challenge asked to write a poem on how we would like to be remembered after we have passed. Death is inevitable my dears even though I can admit to once feeling scared of it because it brought such devastating sadness along with it for the ones left in its wake. I now understand that we are all part of God’s master plan, the circle of life. I believe one’s spirit never dies and is reincarnated through human existence itself following the purpose that God chose in it’s creation. Remembering mine has brought me so much happiness, joy, inner peace and harmony. Here is the poem I created for the challenge.
I use different tarot decks for daily guidance and this is the card I pulled today which I greeted with a knowing smile.
Writing has been a tool I have leaned on for personal development and understanding my entire life. In this past year, the poems I write are channeled messages from the archangels, most specifically Michael, Raphael and Gabriel. The holy trinity of messengers as all three are my spiritual guides that I feel in my life daily. They in tandem with my spirit animals tug at my soul strings and show me in the most intimate of ways messages from Divine. While I was in session with Lindsey, I felt as though Maria stepped aside and Serena (what I call my soul) stepped forward to provide the healing. Ultimate acceptance and internal permission to be a conduit in this way is the main idea and the theme of this poem.
I’ve awakened from a deep slumber of dissociation and detachment from my authentic spirit my dear readers. Healing isn’t always pretty and nice but the rewards are priceless and the love I feel within my own being combined with the love I have for all of humanity paints my world in technicolor! I’ve often referred to being an empath in this way, feeling and seeing the world in a deeply vibrant hue at all times. It once kept me locked in the jaws of fear, fear of myself which caused utter and complete confusion. Now I understand it.
I have 40 hours of apprenticeship hours to complete before my final certification. Besides having my children and becoming a mother, I have never wanted something more for myself. I’ve written before on here how I have never held a career in the traditional sense besides that of a caregiver. This role of a healer is the ultimate in care giving with the greatest level of responsibility that I could ever have imagined. I’m simultaneously humbled and honored to heal others through the art of shamanism. My journey has reached a new road, one that I take with a pep in my step and a grace I have practiced my whole life. Thank you God for seeing me worthy. I’m eternally grateful.
I love it when the Universe creates a moment to snap me out of a self destructive pattern like overthinking. Unique Soul, I appreciate the tag and the opportunity to write and reflect upon the gratitude I have for the little things in life that make life worth living! This came at a perfect time, getting me out of my own head and into my heart while I process some old wounds that popped up yesterday. These ten things are in no particular order😊
1. Connecting with my soul/yoga/meditation/shamanic journeying🧘♀️
Embracing the multidimensional human being I am. Taking time to be fully present in both my humanity and spirituality is always a highlight to my day. It’s how I start my day, a little check in with myself and the best way to ground into my body and the Earth. Lately, since I have been learning the magic of shamanic healing, getting to journey with my spirit guides and meditating are one and the same. Just being and feeling inner peace is priceless. I also find that I’m happiest when connecting to nature. Here is a picture I snapped today while on my bike ride.
2. Dancing, singing, painting, writing…doing anything creative…freeing my spirit💃
I’m an upbeat, positive and highly energetic person by nature. I love channeling all my energy into being creative. Expressing myself, embracing my inner weirdo, letting my freak flag fly….ALL OF THAT! It’s taken me many years to accept myself for who I am and nowadays I live to be the artistic, highly sensitive empowered empath who owns her power while leaving my mark on this world with art.
Google made a GIF of me
3. Spending time at the beach😎🌊
I’ve written before about how much I adore being at the beach, it’s my happy place. I definitely have saltwater in my veins my dear readers. I have a lot of masculine yang energy and the Sun and I have been best friends forever! Being at the beach excites all my senses. Here in South Florida, the water is warm enough to swim all year round. Floating is one of my favorite pastimes while visiting. I was blessed to have lived on a private beach ten years ago and I know someday I will live near or on the beach again. For now I get to soak up the views on my parent’s lake.
4. Live music events🎶
In my high school years I was blessed to travel with The Dead and yes my dear readers, I’m a deadhead. It’s ingrained in my hippie soul to twirl to instrumental experimentation groovy music. I have a ziploc bag chock full of ticket stubs from all the music concerts and festivals I have attended since age 15. I love a wide array of bands and musicians. I’ve seen such acts as Harry Connick Jr. Live at Radio City Music Hall, Eric Clapton, Bella Fleck and the Flecktones, Bob Dylan (multiple times), The Rolling Stones, Coldplay and Michael Franti with Spearhead to name but a few. I also enjoy small hip lounge spots with live jazz, blues even classical. I’m a music lover and it soothes my soul. Right now I’m reading a book about how healing sound is. I’ve shared on here the Sound Heal app I use daily to adjust my own vibrations to the 7 different Solfeggio tones. I highly recommend checking it out.
5. Being held by my man, the love of my life and spending quality time together❤
I started this post stating that this list is in no particular order but this is number 1 in my heart. My partner is my best friend, my companion and my favorite human being on the planet! This time apart is very difficult on both of us while he is still in Dallas tying up loose ends. I know once we are reunited it will be spectacular! We will finally be able to start our life together after many years of taking care of family. We recently celebrated 7 years together and we’ve agreed this is our year to finally tie the knot. Stay tuned for that my dears.
6. Sharing ideas and learning new things🦋
It’s no secret that I love people and being a social butterfly. Having stimulating conversations and learning new things from people is something I must admit I miss right now during this lockdown. However, I have been able to participate in some group events via Zoom and I really enjoy interacting with people from all over the world! I tell my boys how important it is to keep an open mind and never stop learning. If you pay attention, you can learn something new every day.
7. Chatting with my lady friends, my soul sisters, my tribe👸
The older I get, the more I cherish and gravitate towards my female tribe. I’m very blessed to have a solid group of lady sister friends that I can laugh with, cry with, share secrets, reminisce with and grab a cup of coffee. My girls are an array of people I have known most of my life with a mix of salt of the Earth sisters that I met online yet we were cut from the same cloth. In this past year I have met a few ladies that I firmly believe I spent a past life or two with. God bless technology, especially right now.
8. Laughing, the good ol belly kind of laugter🤣
Whether it’s kicking back with family or friends, reminiscing over the good ol days or watching a silly movie, I love to laugh. Life is too short not to find the humor in things. Plus, having spent many years stuck in Complex PTSD sticky emotions, fear and depression I relish laughing. Hearing children’s laughter is the purest gift from God.
9. Being a Mom👩👦👦
My children are my best accomplishments in life. I thank God on a daily basis for giving me the best lessons in life through motherhood. I feel like I didn’t fully understand unconditional love and the act of selflessness until I became a mother. My boys are now 18 and 15. The time has definitely gone by too fast. I’m blessed to have been afforded the means in my first marriage to be a stay at home mother for 12 years, during their formative years. They make me so proud. I have put emphasis on raising good human beings. I always told them, it’s great if you can do well in school but I care more about the kind of person you are. Being kind, respectful of others, thoughtfulness, and love goes a long way in my book.
10. Getting into bed at night😴
I’m definitely more of a night owl than an early riser my dear readers. In my last position as a boutique manager, I worked nights so it wouldn’t be unusual for me to go to bed at 2 AM or so. Now that I’ve changed up my life so much, moved to a new place and am shifting careers into healing as an independent contractor my days are my own. I usually get up by 9 or so and I go go GO all day long so by 11, I’m more than ready to get under the covers. While writing this, I’m reflecting upon how much this change has really changed me! I love going to bed now and I have mostly been a person who didn’t get into bed until so late. To me this means, I’m becoming more content with me. Every month, more and more I can see myself becoming who I was always meant to be. I have created a sanctuary in my bedroom here in my parents house. I love my alter next to my bed, I have my crystals all around me, my candles and my aromatherapy essential oils. In true Ladysag77 fashion, here is my latest poem.
Please check out my two books of poetry available on Amazon and keep an eye out for my third book to be released soon! Here are the links:
This post is my truth. Raw, real and 100% genuinely me. At 42 years young, I have arrived at a place that is the opposite of a mid-life crisis that I am calling my mid-life renaissance!
I have been writing a lot in this last year of the spiritual awakenings (2 actually, one of Kundalini energy) I experienced in June of 2019 after finally coming to terms with the sexual abuse I encountered as a child. Since I admitted out loud that yes, I was molested at ages 5 and 6, absolutely nothing has been the same! I sought out healing on all levels….energetically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s been full steam ahead towards what feels the best for Maria. My soul is free, my heart is at peace with the amazing people I have met, the moments of pure bliss and joy I have felt but mostly I am eternally grateful to God for bringing through all of it so that I may finally say I am happy with who I am today.
This feeling is the opposite of a lot of clichés we hear in our society today. No more “fake it till you make it.” Forget having a bad case of “the fuck its.” Good bye and good riddance to all of it as I usher in a feeling of rebirth, renewal and rejuvenation! I can’t even put into words what it feels like to leave all expectations, judgements and opinions of not only my own making but especially those of anybody else around me! The only “fuck that” I feel is towards what anybody else thinks of me. This ephiany has taken ten long years to come to fruition and I know it’s never finished or ever over for this is just the beginning my dear readers…..and I say BRING IT ON LIFE!!!
It hasn’t been easy for the ones closest to me and for that I’m sorry. Spiritual awakenings don’t come with instruction booklets or how-to guides. I know I have been confused and bewildered by some of my own thoughts and behaviors at times. Like a butterfly during it’s metamorphosis, there has been loads of goo to wade through to be able to say, I have finally broken through the cocoon. Spreading my wings and flying bolding out of my shell has made some doubt their place in my world. Rest assured, I will not name names here because the ones I love know who they are.
I have no apologies and definitely no regrets. I view everything differently, as though through a newborn’s eyes. I now have what can best be described as a deep sense of knowing what is right for me and a carefree attitude in achieving it. As an intuitive empath, I am now empowered and realized. As my partner once commented, spirituality doesn’t take a day off. I remain 100% committed to my selfcare routines because I know how to maintain this feeling of self love by practicing what I need to for my wellbeing. I have decided that absolutely nothing can take it’s place.
In our society and culture, especially for women, what I am describing is seen as selfishness. I couldn’t disagree more! Nobody else is responsible for my happiness, no external material possession can even compare to this feeling of inner peace and self acceptance. Nothing.
I believe everything happens for a reason and unfolds in God’s Divine time and never before He decides we are ready. All I did was devote my life to Him, believe in Him and trust. Making my mind up to always keep a tight grip on hope while maintaining faith that no matter what was happening, I would be ok. Over the past ten years, I have stumbled, cried, screamed, clawed my way through every situation life can throw at a person. Divorce, losing contact with my boys, mental breakdowns, multiple hospitalizations, joblessness, homelessness, bankruptcy on all levels physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I literally had to have it all stripped away from me. The pain I endured was deep enough for me to finally want to change it all. It was only then that I became open enough to face what I call the pit of my issues which was the sexual trauma I dissociated from and buried for the past thirty-five years.
Slowly and surely I began to open up more and more. Little by slowly, time taking time as it does, my life took on a new feel. Moody moments brimming with self harming behavior gave way to the moments where I sit in meditation crying tears of joy for the immense love I feel towards God, my spirit guides, angels, saints, and never the least my dear Nana who has been my closest confidant. I have felt her with me since she passed over March 17, 2006. She visits me in my dreams, sends me messages, shares her bliss as a spirit through the visions I experience. Whenever I ask her for a sign, she delivers one. When I’m feeling lonely, I can feel her hugging me.
I have written before about feeling like a late bloomer all of my life. I believe that this new direction I am heading in is no different. I don’t regret a single day of heartache, traumatizing experience or even emotional breakdown. All of it has led me here. Releasing myself from that which I feared has helped bring me here. Every tear has helped create this smile I wear proudly on my face everyday. Every doubt I put upon myself has allowed me now to think, why not? I’m gonna do it!! If I can think it, feel it, believe it then it will be!
Patiently awaiting for my intentions to manifest is where I find myself today. Moving through life at my own desired pace. If it doesn’t feel right, I don’t do it. I am through with betraying myself to please anyone else. Change occurs when the pain of existing in the same patterns becomes too great to carry on. Being sick and tired of being sick and tired!
There is no magic formula. There are no short cuts. There is definitely no right way to achieve the place I find myself in now. Every morning I say please God and every night I say thank you for everything in my life. Sprinkled in throughout each day are the moments of silence and deep gratitude for making it this far.
For the first time in a long time, I’m excited about where life is taking me as I begin a new career path to become a shamanic healer. A few days ago, I laid out all of my tools and blessed them by burning sage while setting my intentions aloud. I remain hopeful and optimistic about tomorrow. I relish each moment for I know that is all that is real. I love you all. Amen🙌
Not matter the current circumstances my dear readers, I am choosing to reject all of the fear being pumped into our society currently. Despite the fact that it is Friday the 13th and the Coronavirus is threatening the health of millions, billions throughout all of humanity……keep in the love vibe. Please. Love is the highest and most powerful of all energy vibrations ❤
Here are eight helpful tips you can practice to keep love running through your mind, body and spirit 🥰
Become conscious of your thoughts. Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality. We truly are our thoughts💭
Find something beautiful and appreciate it. I do this through meditation and visualization.
Be conscious of the foods you eat. Again, you are what you eat.
Drink water and plenty of it. It’s the best way to rid the body of toxins
Meditate. For at least 5 to 15 minutes every day. It’s a muscle that can be built over time, repetition and practice. I have been incorporating meditation into my daily routine for 10 years now and practicing yoga for 20. It’s never perfect but is progress in keeping myself balanced and centered 🧘♀️
Be grateful. Especially with yourself. Show others kindness and practice the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated🙌
Practice acts of kindness. Both random and intentional, our world needs this now more than ever✌
Get your blood pumping by moving your body for at least 20 minutes daily. Why not smile while doing it too….studies show that smiling while exercising has an even more beneficial impact on your overall health in the long term 😁
No matter what, reject all fear. Stay in the love vibration ❤🙌
This morning my creative mind wanted to play around with different types of poetry formats. Tapping into my passionate heart and my ability to empathize, using compassion to understand humanity. My message here is to love one another now more than ever❤
Who am I is the reoccurring question throughout my entire life. It has haunted me, left me distraught, distracted and then exhilarated and finally an inner peace that compares to nothing else. The search for self and one’s purpose is so crucial to happiness. I’m in a good space finally. Peace, love & life✌❤
This has been a tremendous past week for me my dear readers!! I have received so many messages from the Universe validating the path I’m currently on which is the journey back to the authentic spirit I embody within this human vessel. In a nutshell, I have raised my vibration to the point where I’ve shifted into such love and abundance while actively blocking out fear. If you read a newspaper or watch the news, however you get your information, there are events happening in our world that have many speculating if we are of the verge of WW3. What these events like the wildfires in Australia and the US killing Qasem Suleimani one of Iran’s top generals me is to not allow fear to get it’s claws into my psyche.
I’m uber focused on not allowing myself to be brought down by fear. Everything is energy so when we engage fear we are ultimately feeding it. I chose to feed love by investing my energy into making myself the best human being I can be, knowing myself as well as I can. For me, it’s about management of my time and what I’m feeding myself. You are what you feed your mind and body. Period.
I must serve myself and heal myself first so I can live my soul’s purpose which is of spreading love and kindness to everyone I meet. We need more random acts of kindness and empathy for our fellow sisters and brothers. We are all connected, everything alive on this planet has an affect on each other. When you start to really see the world we live in in this way, you want to make choices from love and abandon fear.
I recently watched a YouTube video by one of my favorite YouTube stars, Ralph Smart aka Infinite Waters. He calls his followers Deep Divers because we dive into different subjects going below the surface and appearance. He is a beacon of light and hope sharing advice on how to make yourself more self aware, be a better person, gain consciousness etc….you get the point as to why I follow him closely😉 One of the connections he draws upon highlighted within the video below is that our society is feeding fear by ingesting animals. The killing of animals during food production creates fear and pain for them. By ingesting that meat, now you have transferred that energy into your own body. Think about it. That one blew me away.
While I’m on the subject of YouTube stars, another amazing woman I follow closely is Dr. Nicole Pera aka The Holistic Psychologist. I stumbled upon her Instagram page through one of the soul sisters I follow on Instagram. She’s revolutionizing the field of mental health by focusing on what the root cause is for so many illnesses, disorders and conditions. Every day she posts advice on how to undo the programming and conditioning we as a society go through when we are growing up. The steps she lays out make it crystal clear on how to become more self aware, live more consciously and make better decisions surrounding our choices and behaviors. Her guidance has helped me in countless ways! She’s a tool in my ever evolving tool belt of self healing information.
Today she posted about unraveling the conditioning we go through, specifically the letting go of the habit of self. Many professionals in the field describe “self” as personality but really it is the expieriences we live through that creates this aspect of ourselves. This is ego, unconsciousness, operating throughout life on auto pilot, living in the past and it doesn’t serve us well at all. Here is the link to her YouTube video.
Become an observer my dear readers and understand that the first step in obtaining peace in this world is to start within yourself. Working on the inside will eventually transform the outside world around us. Ralph and Nicole have very similar messages. Their work and content focus around discovering our authentic self which is what our spirit, what our soul tells us. This is our intuition. The longer we operate from fear, the more silent that inner voice becomes. I’m talking about our intuition. Some end up never even acknowledging it at all let alone trusting it.
For most of my life, I was living in a constant and perpetual state of fear and anxiety. I didn’t feel good enough, I distrusted my inner guide and went about creating false stories, ego stories, that screamed at me that I was a failure. Since working so diligently on raising my own vibration, becoming a realized and empowered empath all that has vanished.
The creation of daily morning rituals helps me to care for my spirit by allowing me to finally feel my worth. Meditating regularly has allowed me to become an observer to my obsessive and compulsive thoughts surrounding anxiety and depression. I can choose what I act upon, what is real for me. Journaling is a great way to unload my mind and stay in the present. I pick up on so much dear readers, being constantly sent messages about the others around me whether I like it or not. It can really weigh me down if I let it.
Becoming aware of synchronicity is one of the signs of a spiritual awakening and definitely one of the coolest parts of my journey thus far. I have praised my dear soul sister Lindsey Luna aka soul.healing.with.luna on Instagram a few times in my posts. She is an amazingly talented shamanic healer and Reiki master. A few weeks ago she posted her chakra healing crystal set in an Instagram story and I was immediately smitten with them! I quickly messaged her and asked her where she found them. The neat thing about us empaths is that we are so in tune with each other, she knew I would ask her! On Saturday they arrived to my pleasant surprise about an hour after I posted about allowing soul power to flow freely. Not a coincidence, there is no such thing my dear readers 😊
I opened the box and gazed lovingly upon my new crystal beauties. I took three deep breaths as I held each chakra point crystal in my hand while setting an intention our loud. I burned some sage to cleanse them too from any negative charges they may be carrying. The fact that Lindsey picked them out, touched them and transferred her own positive energy into them is very special to me. I then lay them upon each of my chakra points while listening to her guided meditation. I can’t fully express the euphoric feeling I immediately recieved from these healing crystals!! When I was finished and was putting them away each crystal was quite hot to my touch. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the rest of the day!
The last bit of news I will leave you with is that I expierenced my second vision!! It was so awe inspiring and glorious leaving me with tears streaming down my face🤗 I started using a brain waves frequency app for background tones while I meditate. I was sitting outside in my backyard just gazing at the sun through the trees. All of a sudden I could see the energy waves in the air. This isn’t the 1st time I have seen them but what was different is the appearance of the sun. I saw a big purple heart. At first there were three circle like shapes and then those morphed into a heart. This keep happening over and over while I just stared in awe. An overwhelming feeling of calm came rushing over my body from head to toe.
Witnessing such a vision is a clear message to me from Universe that everything will be alright. Purple is not only my favorite color but when I saw my guardian angel during my first vision, she was bathed in purple light. Universe really knows how to quickly get my attention!
About twenty minutes after that experience I went back inside to journal about it and write the following poem💜🌈🌠✌🙏😊
Here we are my dear readers, the final days of 2019. We made it through another year and decade. We’re in a new moon and eclipse cycle too which has my energy vibes feeling a sense of overall calm, a tiredness has settled into my entire being. A few days ago I wrote a poem about the greatest gift to myself and how much it means to me to be uncovering my true and authentic self. It’s the most wonderful, beautiful and precious experience of my life.
It certainly has not come easy or free! Since June, as you know if you have been following my blog here, I have been on an accelerated spiritual journey. It required a tremendous amount of patience and grace on my part. Integrating my shadow self, the aspects of my character that are darker, the ones I don’t like to admit led me to places I never dreamed I would be. Ultimately accepting every ounce of what makes me me has taught me so much. I finally see my worth, understand my value and strive each day to care for my spirit by practicing daily rituals that strengthen the bond I have with myself.
Over this past weekend, I stumbled upon a website where I could map together my complete birth chart. Cafeastrology.com gives a very detailed and informative view of where the sun, moon and planets were positioned the day you were born. It took me two days to read it and summarize it into my journal. The descriptions of my characteristics( inborn, undeveloped and overdeveloped) impressions I leave upon others, my communication style, habits and reactions to the world, whom I attract, my values within different situations are all connected to my chart. I learned so much about myself and was validated on many fronts it was uncanny! Certain paragraphs I had to reread twice, even three times because they blew me away so much.
The picture above raises interesting questions. I feel that there are certain character challenges that are unavoidable while some information I read I could definitely connect with in a way that is constructive to my growth. For example, I was born a highly sensitive, even moody at times individual. Most empaths moods can change so rapidly leaving others around them quite puzzled as to why. The sensitivity I am most especially affected by is the relation to my environment. I am extremely sensitive to it due to my heightened senses. If something smells off, I am distracted, often bothered and have difficulty focusing. If sounds are too loud, I am immediately in fight, flight or freeze mode. I believe no matter how much I work on myself these physiological aspects of my being wouldn’t change. I believe them to be hard wired.
However, I do take heed to the suggestions within my reactions to others. For example, I rely too heavily upon myself. I like to be independent and this streak is defined in every description throughout my chart from my sun and moon signs, both are Sagittarius by the way(many of the planets were in Sagittarius for me making me a super Sagittarius)to Saturn in Virgo and Uranus in Scorpio position. All define my intense desire to keep others out of my inner drive to get things done. My North Node in Libra and in my 4th house says that I take on the management role of fixing problems like a second nature although if I let others in, I can improve my life many times over. This is definitely something I can attest too being true. Initially, I want to handle everything on my own, have all the answers etc. Life has proven to me that when I reach out and ask for help, the load I’m carrying whether physical, emotional or spiritual gets much lighter.
I believe learning the most I can about myself by becoming as aware of myself as possible, the better I can care for myself in the world and within my relationships with others. I have always had a feverish curiosity for knowledge and understanding. I’m a gentle, generous and emotionally sensitive person who is practical in my values and fairness with others. I tend to be independent and want my freedom. I get restless when I feel I must conform to others ideals or am around others with inhibitions forced upon me. I am a very free spirit who likes to think and figure things out myself in my own unique way. I can come across as slow and methodical with my language and writing when I am taking on too much information. I need to process things conpartmentally at times in order to derive meaning from it because I’m highly philosophical.
All of this information has taught me how to handle my problems, mood shifts and emotions when dealing with others as an empath. I have always tended to get more involved with other’s feelings rather than feel and pay attention to my own. I believe I’m shifting this tendency. Even my partner can see a difference in me in how he and I interact. I think it’s hard for him because he doesn’t want to feel left out or left behind because of my growth. I assure him that my personal journey is necessary for my spirit and purpose during this journey to continue. It’s nothing to be feared or worry about but a beautiful and everlasting gift to myself.
I have often done just this. Feeling “too much” for others to handle because of my passionate views, the intensity of emotions I display and brutal honesty. Sometimes I can definitely put my foot in my mouth and say things with little or no tact. Being born and raised in New Jersey while residing in the South has elicited comments from others about my brashness and abruptness which leave a negative connotation in my mind. Attempts to stifle or cover these traits never works or feels genuine to me. I only end up hurting myself and that is something I’m finally finished doing!
What I have learned is to embrace it ALL. I refuse to hamper down who I am for anybody. I have lived through and endured so much pain and heartache that experiencing this revitalization of my spirit feels like flying. I alone decide how high I will soar, who I will let into my inner circle of loved ones and damn all the rest. This is me, in my truest and most genuine form. I love me today and that is something I pretended to feel for entirely too long for the sake of others. No longer will I allow the thoughts, opinions and actions of others to cloud my self expression.
I’m ready to kiss 2019 goodbye with a deep felt gratitude for all the lessons I have gathered this year. I have a clear picture of my future in 2020 and beyond that is of me owning my female empath warrior strength in an even more empowered and realized way so that I may shine as brightly as our life giving Sun 🌞