This month I’m focusing on remembering the magic I was born knowing. October is a month of embracing everything that makes me who I am. Not becoming someone new, but finally recognizing and honoring the woman whom I have been all along. She’s been patiently waiting to sing her song in the keys of storytelling, poetry and Light language by activating her own voice. This is what Maria Teresa’s Emotional Musings Podcast is all about. Season one contains 10 episodes all focusing on my empowered rise from trauma to triumph and the relationships that showed me the strength of my love as I shed the pain of darkness and the illusion of unworthiness.
This is an excerpt from my in-progress memoir, “Miracles are Real, I was Once Buried Alive: A Story of Radical Acceptance and Redemptive Rebirth”.
“In June 2023, I began my walk to discover me. At 46, I was finally willing to believe what my seven-year-old self had always known was real. What once felt like confusion, fragmentation, darkness, and a life lived between worlds slowly began revealing itself as something else: a journey of remembering”.
This month, I want to explore what happens when we stop running from our own Light.
What happens when the truth we swallowed for years finally becomes the very medicine that allows us to hear the Divine?
What happens when the pain we once believed was our companion no longer has a place to live within us?
What happens when we realize that we were never broken—we were adjusting to a light too brilliant to see all at once?
“At first, living in pure Light burned my skin and hurt my eyes”. This line is especially powerful because it is the truth within the ownership of my own self-love. Dissolving the shadows that were created from fear and pain. They kept me believing in myself. The trauma of losing my own trust. When those shadows were first released my nervous system instinctively searched for them to hide within as I had always done. Now is the time I can dance openly with the beauty of my existence here on New Earth. Grounded in my convictions, my knowingness and wisdom. No longer do I need to dim my Light for acceptance. I’m here to rise, to shine and to sing!
https://youtu.be/3HNyOwfVgco?is=-U0GljNbCMg0StbO
Operation: Bring Love Home is a theme that becomes the story of returning to the self beneath the survival, the silence, the illusions, and the identities I adopted to make sense of this earthly experience.
It is about bringing love home to my body.
To my voice.
To my soul.
To the little girl inside me who knew.
To the woman who I am now, finally listening.
October’s energy supports this movement from inner awakening into embodied expression. Jupiter’s continued journey through Leo speaks to creative self-expression and the courage to let what lives inside me become visible, while Saturn in Aries adds a theme of giving form, discipline, and structure to what has been awakened and transformed by fire and faith. Uranus in Gemini, meanwhile, brings the element of air providing a breakthrough around the way I think, communicate, remember, and understand myself.
For me, this is especially poignant because my Sagittarius stellium in the sixth house of health, daily routines and service already carries such a strong signature of seeking truth, meaning, spirituality, and a larger understanding of existence.
This month of October answers the deep reflective questions that I’ve been sitting with all year long on the spiritual quest that has moved me all around the country. Revisiting the astrological cartography within the geographical locations that have influenced so many of my life’s experiences.
On my previous spiritual journeys I was asking myself….
Who am I becoming?
The more aligned truth I’m asking myself now is:
Who have I always been?
The answer isn’t something that needs to be discovered at all. It is something that I’m remembering and has lived within me all this time.
Not to somewhere else.
Not to another lifetime.
Not to another version of myself.
Home is here.
Home is now.
Home is me.
Sometimes healing doesn’t initially feel like healing because the nervous system, body, and identity have become accustomed to darkness. Don’t let this message from ego stop you my dear readers! Trust in yourself to unravel from the lies the mind will tell you so that you can heart the truth your heart wants to sing. Ego wants to keep you small and living within the illusion of control while soul wants to expand and awaken to the awareness it is here to share. This year I’ve slowed me down considerably to gradually learn to live in the Light rather than simply “finding” it. All of my poetry collections serve as my testimony, the embodiment of these lessons. Walking the path of soul for all these years has served as my story of awakening to the many gifts I’m here to share with others. This is my time of service to humanity’s great rise out of darkness and into the Light. The revolution and return of love!
Ultimately what I’ve done is circle back to my seven-year-old self:
She knew. I just had to live long enough to remember.
What I didn’t understand then was that discovering myself would require me to first remember myself. October feels like a doorway to the commemoration of me that ultimately is the embodiment of the God consciousness that lives within us all. I’m no longer interested in becoming someone new. I am finally willing to love the woman who has been here all along.
This time feels like a clean slate. I’ve moved through so much in 2026, the hardest year of my life after 2025 burned everything to the ground. This year I faced so much within from those big endings in all areas of my life. This is a time of adaptation in order to allow the flow of what’s newly growing. October is Libra season, the cosmic energy that focuses on balance, harmony, fairness and beauty. My North Node is in Libra as well as my natal Pluto placement while Aries is my South Node. The full moon we just experienced gave me a push into accepting all of my truth by remembering who I am at my core.
Chiron is in his last few months in Aries(ending April 14, 2027 when he will station in Taurus until 2033) which is helping us solidify the journey of self awakening to our internal power that began in 2018. That was the year I began this blog and started sharing my channeled poetry publicly.
This journey of the wounded healer within the self acknowledged energy of Aries has finally learned to become the empowered leader I came here to be. My natal Chiron in Taurus will champion all of my inner wisdom through the creative outlets I’ve established in the last eight years. My books, my podcast and my healing events all have sprouted wings and are soaring to new heights!
I’m ready to reveal myself after an entire year of solitude and deep reflection. This year has been an energetic detox for me. Now I will honor the connections that nourish my soul and remain closed to the ones that do not. I’ve given myself a reality check by finally trusting in the changes I’ve made and in how I want to show up for the ones I love and want to share my energy with. I’m completely prepared for this next phase.
Venus begins her retrograde journey through Scorpio on October 3rd, turning our attention inward toward the places beneath the surface where love, intimacy, desire, self-worth, attachment, trust, and the truths may have been buried because they were too deep to speak.
Venus stations retrograde will travel backward into Libra on October 25th and remain retrograde until November 13th. Astrologically, that creates a beautiful two-part story: Scorpio asks us to go beneath the surface and confront what is true while Libra asks what will we do with the truth we uncover in our relationships both with ourselves and others.
For me, this feels like an invitation to look at all the places where I once confused pain with love. Looking at all the times I swallowed my truth to keep the peace. Examining where I made myself smaller so someone else could remain comfortable. Remembering all the times I used to question my own knowing because seeing clearly meant I would have to change.
Venus in Scorpio asks us a very important question:
Can you love yourself enough to tell yourself the truth?
Not the polished truth.
Not the performative truth.
Not the acceptable truth.
Not the version that keeps everyone else comfortable.
The soul truth.
The truth that lives underneath the story that ego tells everyday on a revolving loop.
The truth that sometimes waits quietly for decades before we are ready to hear it.
For years, I would ask myself out loud,
“Can I hang out with you so I don’t have to see what I’m capable of doing?”
I was speaking to Spirit. To my many guides.
I was asking for the view to be obscured because I wasn’t ready to comprehend the magnitude of what I was experiencing.
I carried an awareness that often felt scattered between two worlds—one earthly and one Galactic—and for much of my life I didn’t know what to do with all I could perceive.
The greatest act of love wasn’t forcing myself to understand. It was allowing myself to arrive at understanding when I was ready. This is where inner wisdom comes alive. There is grace in that. The grace I give so freely to everyone else is now what I’m ready to receive from myself. There is a tremendous amount of love in allowing my soul to unfold at its own pace.
“The cadence of recall must remain in alignment with the pace of grace”.
No rushing.
No forcing.
No demanding that yesterday’s version of me understand today’s truth.
Just awareness.
One layer at a time.
One memory.
One realization.
One piece of myself coming home.
Venus energy is about what we value and how we honor it within ourselves. I am no longer willing to abandon myself for the sake of any external validation in a relationship or another’s expectation. I love myself enough to tell my truth.
And then there is the Scorpio part of this journey—the descent. The places where I meet the pieces of myself that existed in darkness. The experiences I wanted to forget. The truths I was afraid would destroy me. The pain I once believed was my friend because it was all I was familiar with. It became a false identity.
I didn’t know how to exist without the darkness I had spent so much of my life navigating. By God’s grace,my eyes have now adjusted.
I discovered that Light wasn’t there to punish me for surviving. It it here to show me that I no longer had to just survive because I’m meant to thrive!
Venus retrograde in Scorpio becomes a homecoming. Bringing love back into the places where fear once lived. Bringing love back into the memories. Breathing love back into the little girl who knew before I had words for what she knew.
When Venus retreats from Scorpio into Libra on October 25th, she will shift the conversation from what lies beneath the surface toward balance, reciprocity, relationship, and what we are willing to accept and participate in now to incorporate all the remembering.
Always know this always my dear readers:
Stand firm in your own awareness always and never doubt your intuition for it is your greatest truth.
Never forget how strong and valuable you truly are. Even on the days you feel unnoticed, your presence matters more than you know.
May you always bring warmth, encouragement, and Light to others.
Never let anyone make you question your worth, because you are rare, precious, and deeply appreciated. Keep shining, keep believing in yourselves and keep walking confidently in the person God created you to be.
The questions peaking my curiosity are:
Now that I know my truth, how will I love differently?
How will I relate differently?
What will I no longer negotiate?
What will I finally allow myself to receive?
What does a relationship look like when I no longer abandon myself to experience connection?
What does love feel like when it doesn’t require me to disappear?
Perhaps this is the deeper meaning of bringing love home.
It isn’t about finding someone else to complete the journey.
It is about becoming a safe place for my own soul to live. Where my body can dance to the music of my soul. My voice no longer needs permission to speak. My silence no longer means suppression. By allowing time for silence the memories have returned. Stillness is where the Divine speaks loudest. The greatest miracle isn’t discovering something extraordinary. It is realizing that the magic of the universe was never outside of me.
She was there.
The seven-year-old girl who knew.
The 46-year-old woman who finally began looking.
The woman I am becoming now.
All of them are me.
Perhaps I wasn’t lost.
Perhaps I was simply making my way home.
Operation: Bring Love Home.
Not to another person.
Not to another lifetime.
Not to another dimension.
Home is here.
Home is now.
Home is me.
May you find home within yourselves my dear readers. It’s all waiting there for you to be at peace within the home in your heart and soul. You are your own hero.
If you’re curious about your own spiritual awakening, please reach out to me. I would love to help you on your soul journey adventure. I can schedule you for a free 30 minute consultation. I provide long distance shamanic guidance sessions via phone. To purchase any of my 6 books of poetry please click the link below. See the Services tab in the menu on this website via my sister site, The Musing Shaman. Fill out a contact form and send me a message. Let’s connect!
For a personalized, autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email.
maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.
