Getting in touch with your emotional truth, by processing feelings to improve the human condition in the 21st century. Living out loud by my motto,"Triumphing over Trauma" 🌈
In light and in shadow, always with ❤
My dear readers, what a transformational month September has turned out to be for me. In this post I want to briefly share what’s been happening to me since taking on my role as a shaman. I’ve written previously about how this entire journey back to myself began ten years ago in 2010 yet rapidly accelerated itself 15 months ago when I unearthed my deepest traumatic wound, being sexually molested as a child. That led me to find my teacher Lindsey and the magic of shamanic healing which propelled me into this homecoming of taking the role of a shamanic healer myself. This work is what I was created for and is the biggest accomplishment in my life.
In my last post I revealed that I was moving to Idaho to join my teacher and dear sister Lindsey Luna so we could combine our forces of magic facilitating a broader reach for our healing businesses and learn from each other more closely. I’ve accepted every challenge with gratitude because I follow my intuition these days which has led me to uncover my true and authentic self. I’m finally free and upon returning to my parents house after my week in Idaho, the pain came on quickly as realized that I no longer belonged there. The toxicity of dysfunction is repulsive to me now that I’ve healed. It didn’t take long for me to make the necessary arrangements to get here and I’m happy to announce that I’ve officially moved to Idaho 🏞
When I look over my steps this year, 2020 has been the most transformational time of my life. Yes, it’s been confusing and extremely painful yet also immensely beautiful and awe inspiringly magical. My dears, embracing the pain of the human experience has taught me to lean into the fear and alchemize it into love. Following the breadcrumbs of my heart, my feelings are how I’ve uncovered my truth. It’s been lying dormant underneath dysfunctional programming and conditioning that taught me to dissociate and not feel my own feelings for thirty-seven years. That held me back from my destiny and joy! Stepping back into my sensibilities has awakened in me my soul’s purpose. This weekend I have the privilege of giving back to Lindsey what she so lovingly gave to me upon our first shamanic healing session together in June of 2019. In innumerable ways, she saved me by clearing out energetically what was keeping me stuck and blocked from my heart. Our hearts contain the superpower which is love. There are two vibrations, fear and love….every other feeling is an offshoot of the two. It was through self love that I became my own hero and saved myself from the deep despair my life seemed to be on the inside.
Now that I’ve finally dusted off the years of trauma, polished my heart by making my self care priority number one, I’m find myself in the position to graciously give back to Lindsey by helping her heal in the shamanic way. This weekend we are embarking on a camping trip (my 1st since 2007!) together in order to fully focus on the shifts to her own self integration. The ceremony we held together that inducted me into the world as an official shaman has created many new awakenings for her. This healing is an exchange of energy, hugely beneficial to both parties. My dears, the cycle of healing is never-ending as is the breathing we do to live. Once you can accept both, the resistance eases and inner peace can be restored. Shamanic healing is deeply profound and is a game changer for what keeps you stuck. Trust me. I wouldn’t be “Triumphing over Trauma” by overcoming the many obstacles 2020 has presented to me like joblessness, twice relocating without my beloved partner while I completed my coursework and apprenticeship and self published two books of poetry. The proof is in tbe pudding they say😉
I like to look back at my writing and the poems I create because mostly they are channeled messages from my spiritual guides and angels. I originally wrote this poem, “I hope” in early April. After reading it again, I felt or I should say my guides felt it was in need of a republication. My dears, hope is available in abundance from the Creator. God offers us a chance to constantly try again, an endless amount of do-overs. Take a chance on yourselves. My favorite acronym for hope is Hold On Pain Ends. I’m living proof my dears and so are YOU💗
If you’re interested in scheduling a shamanic healing session (held in person and over the phone long distance, tarot card reading or purchasing any of my three books of poetry….hit this link. Love yourself 1st, so that you can love others❤
My dear readers, I have just had the most phenomenally magical, blissful and completely transformational week of my entire life in Idaho! I’ve processed most of it yet I believe I will be integrating the wisdom my ancestors passed down to me during the ceremonial ritual I took part in that officially initiated me into this world as a shaman for some time to come. It’s a huge privilege, honor and blessing to see the world through the lense of the art of shamanism while I help heal others in the way I have been healed.
This journey started fifteen months ago and because of the immediate deep connection I felt for my teacher and soul sister Lindsey Luna, I took every nugget of wisdom, spiritual advice and guidance she so lovingly provided me over those months and started to heal my whole being in the most profound of ways. Completely transforming my mind, body and spirit. I know now why God has bestowed the gifts He has upon me, my strong sensibilities and psychic abilities to channel Spirit for the greater good of other’s healing journeys and my own. These are my superpowers that we are all capable of honing. The way my life has unfolded, the trauma I have endured all played a major role in why I focused on the clairvoyant senses I have more so than anything else.
I’m honored and humbled to be Lindsey’s 1st apprentice to graduate her Soul Healing academy. Someday I hope to teacher others as she has so graciously taught me. This was an extremely special ritual ceremony for both of us. After I performed my ritual, which incorporated many of my poems which I offered as pieces of my soul to the fire because they served as a testament to my journey, we sat in a sweat lodge completely constructed out of willow tree branches. This was her 1st time to lead a sweat lodge ceremony solo. We used lava rocks and moon rocks to heat the hut while Lindsey called upon the Great Spirit to ointment me, first wrapping me in a chrysalis while she chanted a sacred song, while playing a singing bowl alternating in the rattle sounds. Soon we both fell into the trance we shamans fall under to perform our healings, I could hear myself starting to make deep guttural sounds, releasing what I needed to thus breaking me out of the cocoon and stepping over the threshold to begin the final transition from apprentice to shaman.
After we closed the ceremony, I still can’t articulate into words how amazingly magical I feel complete with soul shivers, goose bumps and waves of deep emotion continually overtaking my body while my spirit feels completely free to rejoice! My first words to Lindsey were, “I feel like I’m 5 years old again!” That was the age I suffered the sexual abuse I endured and began to detach from myself emotionally at first, then physically and spiritually over the last thirty-seven years. I finally feel like ME again, welcoming back all my my heightened senses in the most beautiful of ways to utilize them, as a shaman!
When I began the apprenticeship, I started manifesting my trip to Idaho to perform the final ritual ceremony in front of Lindsey. My heart was set on it and my soul yearned to finally hug my soul sister. Up until last week, all of our interactions had been conducted virtually through Instagram, which is how we initially met. I have known for sometime now and can confidently confirm that she is my twin flame 🔥🔥 no doubt about it! Growing up and living in this world with our abilities is especially challenging so being able to interact with another woman who is just like me is gift from God and the Universe. Not having to explain myself, naturally reading each other’s thoughts and finishing each other’s sentences is so cool. My love for Lindsey is extremely special and she is a very important person in my life. I vowed to her that I will be returning to Idaho as soon as possible.
The next day we each performed a healing session on each other that was absolutely THE most intense ones of my life, both giving and receiving. Wednesday afternoon in her office was when I really felt the light of God and Spirit combine wrapping me in he warmest of embraces. Everything we do is extremely intimate and private so I won’t go into detail here of what we each learned about ourselves. Let’s just say that Spirit is guiding me along in an accelerated rate that feels disorienting yet so incredibly beautiful. I’m really speechless my dear readers by the amount of love and blessings that each day in Idaho and with Lindsey provided me. I’m intensely grateful and while I’m writing this, tears of joy are flowing in a lovely way. Here are 2 poems I wrote during my visit.
I’ve been floating on cloud 9 while in a state of bliss just trying to take it all in. Yesterday, Ty and I found the perfect frame for my certification. If you’re interested and feeling the call please reach out to me to book a session. I can answer any questions you may have my dears. These healing sessions can be performed both in person and long distance over the phone.
Interested in my 3 books of poetry or my contact information for shamanic healing sessions and tarot card readings, please click this one link for it all❤
Tomorrow I will be traveling to Idaho to perform a final ritual ceremony for my dear sister friend and teacher Lindsey Luna. This will mark the ending of my apprenticeship and the beginning of my role as a shamanic healer. This journey has been my focus over the last fifteen months but more specifically the past five. I’ve learned so much from Lindsey, about myself and healing. I’m bursting with excitement as I feel major shifts happening inside me.
It started last weekend with an overall sense of calm, a more feminine yin vibe that I wrote about in my last post. Everything feels slowed down, natural, not forced or requiring me to exert much energy. I’m an extremely energetic person yet this past week feels like I’m moving through a pool of jello. It’s hard to really describe but this poem is my attempt at articulating my internal story💙
I haven’t been publishing a lot of my writing on any of my online platforms because I’ve been focused on writing for my ceremony and also spending more time with my personal journaling. It’s extremely important for me to process and express myself right now. I’ve spent this week with myself, in solitude and silence with nature as my backdrop. The lake I live on provides so much stimulation for my spirit to thrive in. A new mantra came to me the other day in meditation and I want to share it here.
“I receive light, I give love”❤
This is what I recite to myself during my own personal healing sessions and the ones I hold for clients. It’s simple yet powerful as I envision myself as the conduit for both declarations. I think it’ll serve as a muse for my next painting😉
When we can slow down and go inside ourselves, our truth is revealed. We connect with our own spirit and soul essense ever guided through God. The feeling both during and afterwards is so relaxing and freeing. Even if you do this for 5 minutes everyday my dear readers, I urge you to go there. Give yourself to yourself and to your higher power, whomever that is for you. I don’t subscribe to any one religion. I prefer to acknowledge all the ascended masters who walked this Earth from every established religion and interpretation of God. I read all literary offerings from the Bible to the Koran. I’m blessed to have been gifted my dear Nana’s leather-bound Bible after she passed, complete with her writings and observations on each chapter and the verses she liked. It still smells like her too which I love❤
I’ve been rewatching “The Power of Myth” which is a series of interviews Bill Moyers had with Joseph Campbell. I was first turned onto his teachings while I was a sophomore in high school and my Humanities teacher assigned us his book to read. I have always felt drawn to mythology and its teachings. As Mr. Campbell says, “the absolute mystery of life, what he called transcendent reality, cannot be captured directly in words or images. Symbols and mythic metaphors on the other hand point outside themselves and into that reality”. Myths point us in the direction towards our own truths. I love to explore different cultures and myths weaving my own beliefs to the surface.
I took this picture in my favorite park the other day and attached one of Campbell’s great quotes to it 💚🌱
These are two other poems I’ve written this week that reflect where I’m at in my journey. I feel these are very representative of my inner world and my soul. I won’t be posting next week so I can be fully present on my trip. I will definitely fill you in my dear readers once I return and have processed everything 😊
In the meantime, click on this link for everything “Emotional Musings” my books and contact information to book a healing session with me
I’m back from my hiatus dear readers feeling rested and refreshed! It was important for me to listen to the messages I was receiving internally that were guiding me to take this much needed break from my usual routines of writing and posting online. I established a new writing ritual in a workbook I purchased called, “The Goddess Journaling Workbook” by Beatrix Minerva Linden. Each day there are two questions to focus on highlighting a different goddess divided into 6 cycles for the entire year. I have found this exercise to be highly stimulating for my imagination. I also keep a daily journal and have done so for many many years. This workbook is a welcome addition to my writing practice.
I’ve also recommitted to my self care routine this past month. I like to visualize myself as water, filling each moment with my entire being. Maintaining an “all in” mentality, holding nothing back and giving all of my open heart to wherever my focus is. Leaning into the connectedness of God and the beautiful creations found in our world. Choosing to reject the illusion of separateness is something I meditate on daily asking for the strength I need to thrive in our current human condition. This practice is vital to my self healing routine and my role as a shamanic healer to stay in touch with my most vital relationship to self and the environment. I took some day trips to the beach and to my favorite parks to perform Earth blessings. Each one helped me gain more appreciation of God’s unconditional love for us and how available that feeling is inside of each and everyone of us at all times! It’s truly awe inspiring and can be called upon, accessed by setting the intention for it. Vowing to live a more heart centered life, where I intend to live my daily life in true alignment with my personal values, purpose, inner mortality, personal experiences and intuition. The fullness I feel, the inspiration that has grown within me giving my creativity a boost was exactly what I needed. Here are the poems I wrote during my time away from the laptop, writing exclusively with pen and paper for the past few weeks was so freeing!
Reading these here, I can see the progression of my internal story within these poems. Since March, the energy driving me was very yang in nature and powerful. This month I’ve noticed I’ve shifted into a more yin energy which feels much more serene and calm. The ending of an 10 year chapter of self healing, reconnection to soul and a personal renaissance serving as a time of transformative change. This is a change that included my attitude, behavior, habits, health and spirit. A tune up for my heart and soul to realign myself in a way that feels much more authentic inside and out. For me this meant major changes in the ways I eat, dress, analyze, prioritize and engage with the world around me. It also showed me the relationships I wanted to deepen and the ones I was ready to let go of. My partner has undergone his own awakening in light of mine which commenced fifteen months ago. In this past month, I feel much more connected to him because of his own inner growth and healing.
There is no growth without pain my dears and these past months have highlighted areas of my life that required brutal honesty that at times was excruciatingly painful to look at. Some days, it took everything in me to keep going, exercising my resilient nature by not allowing anything to ever hold me back from expressing my true self.. I made this promise while in the psychiatric hospital in 2011 after my suicide attempt. I’m grateful beyond words for the challenges I have faced, learned from and conquered. This is a quote that comes to mind when I think about my journey thus far,
“It’s sometimes the prettiest of smiles that hold the deepest secrets, the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest of hearts that have felt the most pain”.
I can relate so much to these words and they resonate deeply within my soul.
I also updated my business cards and created a hat I can wear to promote myself. I’ve never met a hat I didn’t love and this one is no different. I strive each day to live my motto of, “Triumphing over Trauma” proving that when you set your heart to change, anything is possible. Greatness of spirit is achievable and powered by love.
Please click on this link for everything Emotional Musings included my contact information for healing sessions, my books and social media
Thank you so much Cindy Georgakas of https://uniquelyfitblog.com/ for nominating me for this award!!! I love any opportunity to write and answer questions about myself that help others get to know a bit more about me. Connection with one another, especially with other writers on here brings me so much joy. It takes a village my dears and in times like we are living in currently, I feel very blessed to have such a wonderfully supportive community on here to interact with, share information and a laugh or two😊
Here are the answers to the questions Cindy asked me. I will nominate 10 other bloggers at the bottom of this post. Once again, I appreciate this opportunity Cindy!
If you could do anything you wanted what would it be? I have told my fiancé for the past few years now how much I would love for us to either purchase an RV or mobile tiny home to travel around the country and see what there is to explore. I love car trips and have driven cross country twice along with with many other coastal excursions. Now that I’ve become a shamanic healer, I don’t need to be in one location at all. Emotional Musings incorporates my writing and healing passions, my books of poetry, tarot card readings and shamanic healing sessions. I have always wanted to drive the PCH and explore the west coast. Most of my travels here in the U.S. have been on the east coast where I’m from and the middle of the country. I did go to college in SLC and I love camping in southern Utah, that landscape is my heart. The desert is wild and mysterious to me and inspires my imagination. Travelling in general speaks to my Sagittarius soul, fun loving freedom spirit ♐
2. Who do you admire most and why? Tough question because I admire so many and am influenced by a lot of people both in my world on a daily basis and in the public eye. Currently speaking, I would have to say any artist that puts their heart and soul out there with no apologies or excuses. Some of my favorites currently are Lady Gaga (no relation LOL), Billie Eillish, Bjork and Daft Punk. I chose to mention these creative souls because they can be compared to no one and I love that! I’m all about presenting oneself in the most genuine way that highlights the unique qualities each of us posses as creative artists. Creative expression drives me on a daily basis and I admire that quality in others. For me saying what’s in your heart and standing by it no matter other’s opinions or judgments are is all that matters to me. I’m reminded of Dr. Seuss’s quote, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out”. I admire my parents for doing their best to assimilate in a way more technologically advanced world than the one they grew accustomed to. I admire my oldest son Ty for never letting life get him down and at almost 19 years old, he’s going back into school to continue his education after living on his own for 3 years. My youngest is an emotional warrior at 15 because he and I have been estranged (my ex’s alienation) for over 4 years. Living without your mother must be so difficult for him yet I have complete faith that in time we will be reunited as I have been with his brother. Ultimately I admire any person who is living their dream and expressing themselves authentically. I loathe anything fake or not genuine. As an empath and psychic medium that channels Spirit, I can smell those types of folks a mile away ❤
3. Who has been the biggest influencer in your work? My answer is so similar to the above question. Ultimately my answer is God. Since hitting my rock bottom ten years ago when I attempted to take my own life and woke up in a hospital to learn I was committed, I have been fighting back to learn my soul’s purpose. Finally in this last year I have realigned myself and uncovered that truth. My own soul has been my biggest influencer for sure which only is God powered!! I have a tremendous faith in our creator, hope for tomorrow and enough hootspa and drive to keep me moving forward always. My spirit is strong, it’s my Tephlon shield that protects me against anything life throws my way. Love influences every single thing I do. I chose love over fear always. Never stop loving, myself and others🥰
4. What are you working on in your life? Expanding my brand to reach the masses by writing and healing others. My passions drive me, writing poetry, healing others as a shamanic healer, writing a memoir someday detailing my journey through homelessness, CPTSD, divorce, suicide, job loss and the loss of connection with my own children. Nothing can or will ever break me. I allow my heart to take me where it will and my passion for creative expression is what keeps me going always. The need to express my soul’s deepest desires through writing, music, dance, singing and painting….anything I can do with my own body. Travel is big on my to-do list for the next two years and as long as I keep putting my desires out there, the Universe has my back always. Wherever the wind takes me is where I need to be, I believe in that 🌬
5. What is your favorite saying or affirmation? Again, I have so many, growing up I collected quotes and books of my favorite writers from Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Maya Angelou, Shel Silverstein, Dr. Seuss and Mark Nepo (eclectic array I know). The two I will share here are one by Shakespeare himself, “Thou she be but little, she is fierce” and my own creation, “I am a strong capable woman and a child of God. God loves me eternally”. Those two quotes get me out of bed on a daily basis! 🤗
6. Where is your happy place? I have mentioned this before on my blog. My happy place is the beach, I have saltwater in my veins. Any place near water really gets me excited! A dear friend of mine recently did my Mayan cross and it was of no surprise to both of us that I have the highest energy on their scale at a 13 (1-13 is the scale). I love being anywhere out in nature. Hiking in the mountains, camping in the desert, on a boat in the ocean or on the lake I live on currently, walking along the coastline, out on my bike or for a long run through the nature preserve near my house. I’m happiest outdoors amongst God’s creations. Add in my boys and my fiancé, now I’m golden! 🏖🏕🏞⛰
7. What do you yearn for? For world peace and for each person on this planet to love each other more. My purpose here to to shine light and love by my words, actions and healing abilities. We are all interconnected and what we do to ourselves we do to one another. It’s time for all of us to wake up to that fact and love. “Simple love” is a poem I wrote recently and is my one wish for our world. To treat each other and every living thing on Mother Earth with love, kindness and respect ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
7. What is your favorite thing to do? I was recently interviewed for a dear friend’s podcast, “The Art of Aliveness” on Spotify and iTunes and asked a similar question, “what makes me feel most alive”. Without question it’s dancing and moving my body! Movement ignites my life force energy and I am in a different zone. Most of my dear readers and followers know I sometimes post my dance videos on here. I’m trained in all forms of dance and in my youth danced competitively and wanted to be on Broadway. Growing up outside NYC, provided many opportunities to audition, be an extra in commercials and movies, perform in showcases with other professional dancers and take classes from world renowned artists. My memories from that time are amazing blessings. I have so many wonderful ones of dancing, travelling, experiences with people I love and am still close to today! 💃👯♀️
8. If you could be anyone in the world who would you be? That’s an easy one for me, ME of course. In the words of Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” I spent most of my life dissociated from myself because I was scared of my sensibilities and how I perceived the world. I was labeled “wrong” or “crazy” by many so I detached and did an amazing job of trying to be anyone else BUT me. I have survived a lot of emotional, physical and sexual trauma that also played a role in keeping me away from myself. Living through the past 30 or so years like that was enormously painful on the inside so now I want to spend the rest of my time on Earth here being Maria Teresa 😁
10. You’ll be happy when? I keep myself happy and peaceful everyday by my selfcare routine. Once you know yourself, you know only you can take the best care of you. Again, being realigned with my soul and its purpose has brought me immense happiness and gratefulness. I’m a naturally upbeat, positive and joyful individual so I run with it! 😉