Spirituality

Now on Emotional Musings

Consciousness, Healing, Health, Spirituality

Winter Solstice: Death and Rebirth of the Sun

Yesterday was the beginning of winter and here in the Northern hemisphere, the shortest day of our year. The nights become longer while the days are shorter. The phenomenon of the death and rebirth of the Sun. While here in South Florida, it becomes much more bearable to be outdoors and bask in the Sun’s glorious rays. I’m a Sun worshiper and strongly believe in the tremendous vitality that it provides. Spiritually speaking, showing ourselves to this power daily helps heal the soul. I make the Sun a prescription for my wellbeing every day.

Traveling through my own healing and current death and rebirth cycle, I recognize how much the Universe has stripped from me this year in order to help me grow, heal and further my own soul’s spiritual evolution. I have literally cried my own river of tears in the past six weeks. In the days leading up to yesterday’s events of both the beginning of winter and The Great Conjunction that I wrote about in my last post (https://emotionalmusings.com/2020/12/15/the-tao-of-my-heart/) I have felt so much more peace. A stillness within both heart and soul. When this happens within my being, I can tap into my soul and gain new insights. I spend my days in surrender, allowing and honoring whatever is to be celebrated. Especially the pain. Our society has a real addiction to pain and suffering yet I believe when we can fully recognize and feel our hurts, we heal them and they dissipate so we can incorporate them into the tapestry of who we are.

That’s how I view my soul, as a great and colorful tapestry of my experiences. One of my favorite authors, Mark Nepo writes about this too. The pain we experience, serves to open our heart. This is the fundamental and foundation for processing emotions. I write about this often my dear readers, it bears repeating here, to heal we must feel. So many of us, this humble poet included, spend so much time denying, detaching and attempting to change how we feel instead of simply embracing and accepting what is. Emotions are energy in motion, our feelings are our body’s way of alerting us to what needs attention within our being. The rush of the world has switched many of us from human beings into humans doing. Our internal response systems become overloaded and thrown out of balance.

One of the reasons why I love the work I do as a shaman is being able to see into the energetic system of others to help remove toxic energy chords. The balance and realignment of our chakras is vital to overall well being. It’s amazing to see the life changes that occur within my client’s lives. The cycle of death and rebirth, the old patterns and habits dying that bring forth the birth of new healthier ones. The ability to pause and question one’s belief system once the physical body feels refreshed from within. All physical ailments begin as spiritual dysfunction, when these adjustments can be made internally the difference is astounding and profound. I check in with my own system on a daily basis to make any necessary adjustments and tweaks.

Soul check in

My writing process is always organic and in the moment. Whenever the words come, I stop what I’m doing and create my poems. These poems came to me both before and after meditation. I’m curious if you my dear ones can guess the order of each creation. Please leave a comment as I would love to open a discussion of my process.

Soul healing
Feel it to heal it

I’m accepting new clients and would love to engage with you my dear readers on your soul’s healing and how my shamanic healing sessions can assist you in further your journey and celebrating your purpose. Please visit my contact page for further information.

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

The tao of my heart

Today marks three weeks since my Dad’s passing. This time in my life, remains as I described in my last post, strangely beautiful. We’re extremely connected yet I can’t help but feel a tremendous heaviness within my heart. I’ve accepted that it will remain there for some time to come.. It’s as though his passing has created a leak within my heart and as much I try to find my footing, my flow is off. Ah, patience you fickle concept you. Alas, I find myself sitting amongst many of us in the collective within the dark night of my soul period, otherwise known as shadow work. The Universe has presented me with a triple whammy of sorts to sit through.

My creativity and imagination are what I’m leaning into mostly right now. Truth be told, patience and I are not friends lately. Google defines the concept of patience as “being more than trust, and as a value that reflects the state of one’s body and mind. The term pariksaha is sometimes also translated as test or exam, in other contexts. Some of these concepts  have been carried into the spiritual understanding of yoga”.

I must admit I haven’t been on my yoga mat as much as I should and need to be lately. I’m being brought through old coping patterns and lots of nostalgia. I’m having that, “seeing my life flashing before my eyes” scenario play out minus the sense of impending doom. Most days I cry often allowing the flow of my tears to happen without lending judgement to them. Crying for crying’s sake.

Many questions relating to Taoism keep popping up in my mind. Taoism is the ancient Chinese philosophy  (also known as Daoism)  attributed to the teachings of Lao Tzu, a spirit I channel often.  It emphasizes doing what is natural and “going with the flow” in accordance with the Tao (or Dao), a cosmic force of energy which flows through all things that both binds and releases them. These ideas align with me as a shaman as I ponder what my place is within this world. This year has brought me to a depth of my soul, a dark abyss  that can best be described as the place where scuba divers get to, way down deep into the ocean where they experience neutral buoyancy. Their bodies merge as one with the deep waters, allowing them to be so deep & swim as freely as they want to. These freedoms within this depth has triggered yet another layer of fear to be peeled from my being. I find myself once again, surrendering to the unknown and allowing myself to fall apart.

Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs,  I admitted to my son the other day when he called to say hi and I spontaneously broke out in tears. I told him that God gives his toughest battles to the fiercest warriors. Witnessing my Mom’s broken heart, the pain from having COVID-19 herself and not being able to hug my siblings hurts. Period. My dear friend Sophia reminded me soon after my Dad passed that I don’t always have to be the strong one. Boy, these past three weeks have shown me that truth in the most profound of ways. Again, my dear readers I retreat to my words and my paints.

This past weekend was quite cathartic as I sat out on the patio, watching the rain and painting. These are my latest poems, all speak to the strong emotions that my heart is acknowledging and releasing. My only job is observing them and allowing them. Keeping my healer’s heart and soul in balance. One of my soul sister’s and I had a great chat on Saturday about the power of vulnerability as a healer. Honestly, I myself have more respect for those who can admit their struggles than the constant “love and light” crowd that tend to be found spiritually bypassing those of us who are doing the deep inner work that explores the pain. My heart is in pain yet I know it’s a temporary situation in order to strengthen me. To live life without my Dad. To face life’s challenges minus my life partner for the time being. To rely solely upon myself and know that I’m constantly supported by the Divine. To embrace being pure magic. To remember who I am as a child of God who graciously serves Him.

“Dark night of the soul”
Acknowledging and releasing
Peeling another layer of fear
Wiping the slate clean

On Sunday, the sun was shining brightly as I went out for a run. As I approached the nature preserve near the park I run in, I looked up to see my Dad’s spirit flying overhead as a short-tailed hawk. Moments later I looked down and right  there, in the middle of the sidewalk was a beautiful lapis lazuli stone! A reminder, a gift from Dad to always speak my truth and stand in my power. I use this stone regularly to balance my throat chakra and I just so happened to have transplanted mine that morning. Lapis luzli is a powerful stone that encourages self-awareness and taking charge of your own life. It helps us to express ourselves safely, empowering us without holding back, and brings the qualities of honesty, compassion, and integrity. Indeed Divinely timed, guided, protected and unconditionally loved.

Thanks Dad💙

A theme that has been present for me during this time is water. Ah, how water does elevate the pressure and the sheer weight of these feelings, assisting in the flow of them. I want to share with you dear ones this beautiful song. While you listen to it, visualize the power of the ocean washing away all your fears. Namaste.

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Healing, personal development, Spirituality

Seasons of love

So many words have washed over me this year. Enough for three books of poetry totalling over two hundred poems. Cycling through my ever changing inner landscape, seasons of my soul’s evolution, cue the song,, “Seasons of Love” from the Broadway musical “Rent”. I listened to it last evening and my mind dipped into a review of my week. In this past week, I have been sitting in a sea of nostalgia. There are a few reasons for this. The most obvious one being the passing of my Dad. Add in the absence of my love, my life partner for the past 7 years. Finally, I have been binging “Dawson’s Creek” on Netflix which has opened the flood gates of memories from the 90s during my high school years. That trip back in time is also when I can distinctly remember my soul start to knock. Here’s a glimpse into my seasons of love.

Since Sunday I have been extremely tired. If you’ve been reading my blog here for two years you will know that I’m an extremely energetic person. It’s a challenge for me to sit still. This year I have been in overdrive. I love to o for long distance runs, ride my bike, dance and practice yoga. The Universe is about to give us a cosmic equation in the sky, called “The Great Conjunction” when Jupiter and Saturn will appear closer than they have for hundreds of years, since 1226 to be exact. My entire being, most especially my soul, can feel this shift about to take place. My body needs rest like never before and I am obliging it. Most nights I have trouble sleeping. I take a large dose of the herb Valerian root to help me to sleep soundly. I haven’t needed to take it all week. I even snoozed until 11AM yesterday, something I haven’t done in a long while.

Today, with this post in mind on how our souls go through seasons of growth and change, all grounded in love, I felt the pull to look back through my Google photos from this year. Before the pandemic of COVID-19 impacted my daily routines changing them forever, I clocked an impressive run on March 10th. I ran 24.37 miles in just over three hours. I recall feeling really shocked when I read my mile tracker that particular day because I didn’t set out to run like that nor was I especially tired afterwards. I also downloaded a few pictures into my phone that day that really speak to me now.

Connection to Source

This picture has been my screen saver since that week in March. It’s significant because once the pandemic hit, I was immediately filed for unemployment because the hotel boutique I was managing was closed down due to the lock down in Dallas. It was also when I decided to take on the apprenticeship to become a shaman. I wrote this poem too.

“Highest self”

I begin my shamanic healing sessions by reading this poem. I believe it connects my client and myself to our highest selves in order to facilitate the deep healing we are about to tap into. The power of love coupled with intention is magic. Period. This is my superpower and what I use to “see” into others souls. This all occurred in the Spring. My entire Summer consisted of the coursework it took to become a shaman. This Fall, I spent six weeks in Idaho becoming a master shaman. We are about to enter into the Winter season and I can feel another shift underway. Therefore, my body is preparing itself, hence all the extra sleep. I have confirmed with my fellow psychically inclined and highly sensitive friends and it’s no coincidence (I don’t believe in them) that we are all feeling extra tired and extra emotional. I wrote this poem this week.

Choices to focus on how large or how small our world view is….

On my birthday, I experienced the most awe inspiring, overwhelmingly intense vision in the sky. Usually my visions manifest from clouds but this one was out of a crystal clear blue sky, no clouds to be seen. It was as though God himself ripped a giant whole open and out came images that began to morph and change so rapidly from pictures of my spirit guides, to angels, to shapes, to profiles of Jesus and what I believe to be God himself. Tears streamed down my face for over twenty minutes. When I stood up, I felt unsteady and dizzy. When I returned from outside my Mom asked if I was alright because she could tell from the look on my face I was in the middle of processing something big! I told her I couldn’t talk about it yet and proceeded to lay down for the rest of the evening.

I have learned over the past year and a half  since experiencing my first vision like this not to question or attempt to make sense of the meaning of the spectacular colors, the shapes and faces. I just take them in for I know the meaning will make itself clear in divine time. For now, I am working on remaining as still as possible while I tap into these other worldly dimensions. They serve as pathways, guides and ancestral directions for the next leg of this journey. For my year ahead, my next journey around the Sun.

“Another journey around the sun”

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

This is me, I am Ladysag77

In two days I will celebrate my 43rd birthday and in light of where we are in this pandemic, it’s looking like I will be ringing in this one without the love of my life. I’m not going to sugarcoat my feelings, after everything I have experienced this year, I have hit my breaking point with patience. I’m incredibly sad and disappointed that we can’t be together. I also thought this was an opportunity to share with you my dear ones the  mixture of emotions I’m experiencing right now. I always say,”if you can feel it, you can heal it”. Currently, as I revealed in my last post,  I’m surfing the waves of intense emotions impacted by heartache and loss. I know intuitively that this time in my life will teach me more about my journey and I will be ok. Right at this moment however, I am not ok. If you all know me by now, I wear my heart’s vulnerability out loud and on my sleeve. This post is me. Present moment. Rainbow of feelings.

I woke up Saturday morning with a spring in my step and a feeling of exuberance. The weather here was gloriously sunny and I headed out for a run. As I listened to my playlist featuring some favorite tunes from my teenage years, I was hit with a strong sense of nostalgia and soul. I stopped off at a coffee shop to write this poem that was bursting from my heart to be heard.

Being soulful is the only way to live

A few hours later, as the darkness of night approached, I felt the pangs of sorrow over the loss both my Mom and I are experiencing. Being an intuitive empath can be tricky when I’m surrounded by energy I know isn’t solely my own. Obviously, my Mom is heartbroken by the loss of my Dad, her life partner for 44 years. She has also been dealing with having contracted COVID-19 herself and has been bed ridden. I am safe and have thankfully tested negative. The past two weeks have truly been a challenge for both of us. Before I fell asleep Saturday night, I penned this poem which articulates the grief both of us are feeling.

Grief

Yesterday, I checked out by calling a mental health day for myself and didn’t get out of bed. Since the beginning of 2020, I haven’t taken many days off. More specifically, since becoming a shaman in September, I have taken exactly 0 days off. Yesterday, I binged Netflix and ate some of my favorite snack foods. I napped for hours. I kept to myself. It was awesome. This morning I awoke to rain here in South Florida. I decided to share this video of myself on all my social media platforms which is featured in the introduction of my latest book, “My Soul’s Light”. This is me, Maria Teresa, aka Ladysag77. I am a survivor who is thriving after facing many challenges throughout my life. I view the world in an unique way. I’m living my soul’s purpose and feeling my authentic spirit for the 1st time. Life is a gift. It’s never easy yet I choose to see the extreme beauty and be grateful for the many blessings I have. When you walk where I’ve been my dears, you learn to appreciate the gift of presence. I’m here and I’m alive. I make no apologies for who I am. I love myself and I hope to inspire others by my life’s testimony of healing.

This is me

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77