So many words have washed over me this year. Enough for three books of poetry totalling over two hundred poems. Cycling through my ever changing inner landscape, seasons of my soul’s evolution, cue the song,, “Seasons of Love” from the Broadway musical “Rent”. I listened to it last evening and my mind dipped into a review of my week. In this past week, I have been sitting in a sea of nostalgia. There are a few reasons for this. The most obvious one being the passing of my Dad. Add in the absence of my love, my life partner for the past 7 years. Finally, I have been binging “Dawson’s Creek” on Netflix which has opened the flood gates of memories from the 90s during my high school years. That trip back in time is also when I can distinctly remember my soul start to knock. Here’s a glimpse into my seasons of love.
Since Sunday I have been extremely tired. If you’ve been reading my blog here for two years you will know that I’m an extremely energetic person. It’s a challenge for me to sit still. This year I have been in overdrive. I love to o for long distance runs, ride my bike, dance and practice yoga. The Universe is about to give us a cosmic equation in the sky, called “The Great Conjunction” when Jupiter and Saturn will appear closer than they have for hundreds of years, since 1226 to be exact. My entire being, most especially my soul, can feel this shift about to take place. My body needs rest like never before and I am obliging it. Most nights I have trouble sleeping. I take a large dose of the herb Valerian root to help me to sleep soundly. I haven’t needed to take it all week. I even snoozed until 11AM yesterday, something I haven’t done in a long while.
Today, with this post in mind on how our souls go through seasons of growth and change, all grounded in love, I felt the pull to look back through my Google photos from this year. Before the pandemic of COVID-19 impacted my daily routines changing them forever, I clocked an impressive run on March 10th. I ran 24.37 miles in just over three hours. I recall feeling really shocked when I read my mile tracker that particular day because I didn’t set out to run like that nor was I especially tired afterwards. I also downloaded a few pictures into my phone that day that really speak to me now.
This picture has been my screen saver since that week in March. It’s significant because once the pandemic hit, I was immediately filed for unemployment because the hotel boutique I was managing was closed down due to the lock down in Dallas. It was also when I decided to take on the apprenticeship to become a shaman. I wrote this poem too.
I begin my shamanic healing sessions by reading this poem. I believe it connects my client and myself to our highest selves in order to facilitate the deep healing we are about to tap into. The power of love coupled with intention is magic. Period. This is my superpower and what I use to “see” into others souls. This all occurred in the Spring. My entire Summer consisted of the coursework it took to become a shaman. This Fall, I spent six weeks in Idaho becoming a master shaman. We are about to enter into the Winter season and I can feel another shift underway. Therefore, my body is preparing itself, hence all the extra sleep. I have confirmed with my fellow psychically inclined and highly sensitive friends and it’s no coincidence (I don’t believe in them) that we are all feeling extra tired and extra emotional. I wrote this poem this week.
On my birthday, I experienced the most awe inspiring, overwhelmingly intense vision in the sky. Usually my visions manifest from clouds but this one was out of a crystal clear blue sky, no clouds to be seen. It was as though God himself ripped a giant whole open and out came images that began to morph and change so rapidly from pictures of my spirit guides, to angels, to shapes, to profiles of Jesus and what I believe to be God himself. Tears streamed down my face for over twenty minutes. When I stood up, I felt unsteady and dizzy. When I returned from outside my Mom asked if I was alright because she could tell from the look on my face I was in the middle of processing something big! I told her I couldn’t talk about it yet and proceeded to lay down for the rest of the evening.
I have learned over the past year and a half since experiencing my first vision like this not to question or attempt to make sense of the meaning of the spectacular colors, the shapes and faces. I just take them in for I know the meaning will make itself clear in divine time. For now, I am working on remaining as still as possible while I tap into these other worldly dimensions. They serve as pathways, guides and ancestral directions for the next leg of this journey. For my year ahead, my next journey around the Sun.
In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.