Cleansing

I’ve heard tears cleanse the soul. No matter which emotion they derive from be it sadness,happiness, fear what have you. Years ago I went through a six year stretch that I simply didn’t cry. I thought at the time it was from being on psychiatric medication. In hindsight, I now believe I was in such a deep denial. A robotic type of functioning that prevented me from feeling. I blocked out my emotional self and denied myself its truth. I also used to be afraid of crying because I thought if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I literally feared drowning in my own sorrows.

Today I am powerful in my emotions. I know they all make me strong and bring me closer to my true self. They are absolutely necessary in order for me to breathe. It’s not always pretty and sometimes it’s very messy. I understand however that there is no other way. I have turned the corner of denial, wearing masks and faking it. I refuse to be anyone else but me. For that I am so grateful.