Spirituality

Liebster Award

Liebster Award

Thank you so much Cindy Georgakas of https://uniquelyfitblog.com/  for nominating me for this award!!! I love any opportunity to write and answer questions about myself that help others get to know a bit more about me. Connection with one another, especially with other writers on here brings me so much joy. It takes a village my dears and in times like we are living in currently, I feel very blessed to have such a wonderfully supportive community on here to interact with, share information and a laugh or two😊

Here are the answers to the questions Cindy asked me. I will nominate 10 other bloggers at the bottom of this post. Once again, I appreciate this opportunity Cindy!

  1. If you could do anything you wanted what would it be?  I have told my fiancé for the past few years now how much I would love for us to either purchase an RV or mobile tiny home to travel around the country and see what there is to explore. I love car trips and have driven cross country twice along with with many other coastal excursions. Now that I’ve become a shamanic healer, I don’t need to be in one location at all. Emotional Musings incorporates my writing and healing passions, my books of poetry, tarot card readings and shamanic healing sessions. I have always wanted to drive the PCH and explore the west coast. Most of my travels here in the U.S. have been on the east coast where I’m from and the middle of the country. I did go to college in SLC and I love camping in southern Utah, that landscape is my heart. The desert is wild and mysterious to me and inspires my imagination. Travelling in general speaks to my Sagittarius soul, fun loving freedom spirit ♐

2. Who do you admire most and why? Tough question because I admire so many and am influenced by a lot of people both in my world on a daily basis and in the public eye. Currently speaking,  I would have to say any artist that puts their heart and soul out there with no apologies or excuses. Some of my favorites currently are Lady Gaga (no relation LOL), Billie Eillish, Bjork and Daft Punk. I chose to mention these creative souls because they can be compared to no one and I love that! I’m all about presenting oneself in the most genuine way that highlights the unique qualities each of us posses as creative artists. Creative expression drives me on a daily basis and I admire that quality in others. For me saying what’s in your heart and standing by it no matter other’s opinions or judgments are is all that matters to me. I’m reminded of Dr. Seuss’s quote, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out”. I admire my parents for doing their best to assimilate in a way more technologically advanced world than the one they grew accustomed to. I admire my oldest son Ty for never letting life get him down and at almost 19 years old, he’s going back into school to continue his education after living on his own for 3 years. My youngest is an emotional warrior at 15 because he and I have been estranged (my ex’s alienation) for over 4 years. Living without your mother must be so difficult for him yet I have complete faith that in time we will be reunited as I have been with his brother.  Ultimately I admire any person who is living their dream and expressing themselves authentically. I loathe anything fake or not genuine. As an empath and psychic medium that channels Spirit, I can smell those types of folks a mile away ❤

3. Who has been the biggest influencer in your work? My answer is so similar to the above question. Ultimately my answer is God. Since hitting my rock bottom ten years ago when I attempted to take my own life and woke up in a hospital to learn I was committed, I have been fighting back to learn my soul’s purpose. Finally in this last year I have realigned myself and uncovered that truth. My own soul has been my biggest influencer for sure which only is God powered!! I have a tremendous faith in our creator, hope for tomorrow and enough hootspa and drive to keep me moving forward always. My spirit is strong, it’s my Tephlon shield that protects me against anything life throws my way. Love influences every single thing I do. I chose love over fear always. Never stop loving, myself and others🥰

4. What are you working on in your life? Expanding my brand to reach the masses by writing and healing others. My passions drive me, writing poetry, healing others as a shamanic healer, writing a memoir someday detailing my journey through homelessness, CPTSD, divorce, suicide, job loss and the loss of connection with my own children. Nothing can or will ever break me. I allow my heart to take me where it will and my passion for creative expression is what keeps me going always. The need to express my soul’s deepest desires through writing, music, dance, singing and painting….anything I can do with my own body. Travel is big on my to-do list for the next two years and as long as I keep putting my desires out there, the Universe has my back always. Wherever the wind takes me is where I need to be, I believe in that 🌬

5. What is your favorite saying or affirmation? Again, I have so many, growing up I collected quotes and books of my favorite writers from Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Maya Angelou, Shel Silverstein, Dr. Seuss and Mark Nepo (eclectic array I know). The two I will share here are one by Shakespeare himself, “Thou she be but little, she is fierce” and my own creation, “I am a strong capable woman and a child of God. God loves me eternally”. Those two quotes get me out of bed on a daily basis! 🤗

6. Where is your happy place? I have mentioned this before on my blog. My happy place is the beach, I have saltwater in my veins. Any place near water really gets me excited! A dear friend of mine recently did my Mayan cross and it was of no surprise to both of us that I have the highest energy on their scale at a 13 (1-13 is the scale). I love being anywhere out in nature. Hiking in the mountains, camping in the desert, on a boat in the ocean or on the lake I live on currently, walking along the coastline, out on my bike or for a long run through the nature preserve near my house. I’m happiest outdoors amongst God’s creations. Add in my boys and my fiancé, now I’m golden! 🏖🏕🏞⛰

7. What do you yearn for? For world peace and for each person on this planet to love each other more. My purpose here to to shine light and love by my words, actions and healing abilities. We are all interconnected and what we do to ourselves we do to one another. It’s time for all of us to wake up to that fact and love. “Simple love” is a poem I wrote recently and is my one wish for our world. To treat each other and every living thing on Mother Earth with love, kindness and respect ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

“Simple love “

7. What is your favorite thing to do? I was recently interviewed for a dear friend’s podcast, “The Art of Aliveness” on Spotify and iTunes and asked a similar question,  “what makes me feel most alive”. Without question it’s dancing and moving my body! Movement ignites my life force energy and I am in a different zone. Most of my dear readers and followers know I sometimes post my dance videos on here. I’m trained in all forms of dance and in my youth danced competitively and wanted to be on Broadway. Growing up outside NYC, provided many opportunities to audition, be an extra in commercials and movies, perform in showcases with other professional dancers and take classes from world renowned artists. My memories from that time are amazing blessings. I have so many wonderful ones of dancing, travelling, experiences with people I love and am still close to today! 💃👯‍♀️

8. If you could be anyone in the world who would you be? That’s an easy one for me, ME of course. In the words of Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” I spent most of my life dissociated from myself because I was scared of my sensibilities and how I perceived the world. I was labeled “wrong” or “crazy” by many so I detached and did an amazing job of trying to be anyone else BUT me. I have survived a lot of emotional, physical and sexual trauma that also played a role in keeping me away from myself. Living through the past 30 or so years like that was enormously painful on the inside so now I want to spend the rest of my time on Earth here being Maria Teresa 😁

10. You’ll be happy when? I keep myself happy and peaceful everyday by my selfcare routine. Once you know yourself, you know only you can take the best care of you. Again, being realigned with my soul and its purpose has brought me immense happiness and gratefulness. I’m a naturally upbeat, positive and joyful individual so I run with it! 😉

THANKS AGAIN CINDY!

HERE ARE THE BLOGGERS I NOMINATE:

Ashleyleia at https://mentalhealthathome.org/2020/07/27/biology-psychomotor-retardation/

Meg at https://wheregoodadvicehappens.water.blog/

Luna at https://lunatheblog.com/2020/07/27/vacation-vlog-island-of-krk-croatia/

V at https://millenniallifecrisis.org/2020/07/25/eco-friendly-items-for-the-home/

5 Surprising things you can only find in Canada – Delusional Bubble

Miss Dorrina at https://missdorrina.com/2020/07/26/is-it-too-late-to-send-a-sympathy-card/

Erika at http://erikakind.me/2020/07/27/my-little-paradise-1/

Maranda Russell at https://marandarussell.com/2020/07/26/covid-results-migraines-friends/

Tiffany at https://tiffanyarpdaleo.com/

Kim at https://windsofchange18.wordpress.com/2020/07/25/10163/

Here are my 10 questions for you all😊

1. Share 5 words that best describe you and why.

2. What’s the best place you’ve ever lived?

3. What’s the best place you’ve ever visited?

4. What’s your favorite meal?

5. What quality do you admire most in others?

6. What gets you out of bed everyday? Thought or feeling😉

7. What’s the one thing you’ve learned about yourself that sets you apart or makes you feel special?

8. What’s the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome?

9. What’s your favorite movie?

10. What type of music do like to listen to and what type gets you to get up and dance?

Please check out linktr.ee/Ladysag77.com for my contact info for tarot card readings, healing sessions and links to my books of poetry available on Amazon ❤

Spirituality

Tiny scattered pieces blowing in the wind

I’ve been spending my days on the patio a lot more lately because that’s where I hold my healing sessions, close to nature and overlooking the glorious lake I live on. The energy out there is so fabulously grounding mostly due to the wind. Plus the side of our house is a virtual rainforest of plants, trees and flowers. Lots of oxygen being emitted out there and blown around. It’s just awesome. I spend time out there writing, holding healing sessions or listening to music. Plus being outdoors naturally does a body good and creates grounding which ignites the body’s self healing mechanisms.

The lake at Winston Park

I just finished watching the documentary, The Earthing Movie: The Remarkable Science of Grounding all about how walking around barefoot on the Earth grounds our energy and connects us back into the Universe. Doing this stimulates the body to heal itself naturally because we are all energy and electricity. The work that I’m now honored to be a part of is enhancing my understanding of how the exchange of energy works, what creates blocks (unprocessed emotions),chords (specifically the toxic energy kind that need to be cut) and how this all effects our mind body and spirit connection. It’s absolutely awe inspiring and fascinating. A few months ago I started reading about Quantum psychics too and its relation to reality but I won’t write about it here because I’m still processing it. The long and short of it is that everything we do and interact with from watching television, texting, painting, singing, dancing, playing sports, talking etc. is an energy exchange, has a charge to it and a vibration. I can feel the feelings off the energy that is exchanged with me and intuitively know what’s going on within that person even if it’s from the other side of the world. That’s how mysteriously and so scientifically powerful this entire planet is.

God’s masterpiece is this creation specifically made to work harmoniously together, interconnected and feeding off each living thing on our planet. I liken our brains to a computer program that is created and fed by what we interact with and feed it, all of our experiences in life lay down a blueprint which in turn creates our perceived reality. There is no such thing as space and time for that is manmade to give us a semblance of order. Whether we are awake or asleep, we are dreaming. What is reality for me and what is reality for you my dear readers, well they are different and both are an illusion. The only things that are real are our feelings because they are generated from our hearts. Our heart is the organ that communicates with the brain in four distinct ways: neurologically (nervous system), biochemically (hormones), biophysically (pulse waves) and energetically (electromagnetically). In the 60s and 70s there was research done by John and Beatrice Lacey that observed how our heart communicates with the brain in ways that significantly affect how we perceive and react to the world. I’ve been interested in heart math for a few years now, but that’s for another post by a different writer my loves.

I share all of this to tell you this. After holding a week of my shamanic energy healing sessions I have learned so much more about myself and how I respond and react, my own reality and perceptions with others and the world. I believe that I and others like me were sent to Earth to love. We embrace all living creatures with the desire to love wholeheartedly and completely no matter what. It’s my natural default function to see everything as a connection to myself and the rest of the planet so of course I want to understand how to always do less harm and create more love. My heart is big, a vortex that when you get sucked in it’s near impossible to get out of. I stopped interacting with three people who have come into its grasp and one was the other person’s decision to stop talking to me because it was too emotionally painful for him .Unfortunately, that is my ex-husband because he is emotionally immature, has a low EQ and will never move past his anger and resentments. The other was a girlfriend who became a drain upon me and was extremely toxic to my life. The third was the ex-boyfriend who tried to kill me on multiple occasions because he was working out repressed memories of the relationship with his mother on me like I was her. He was very mentally and emotionally disturbed so for obvious reasons I cut ties. I share this to say I love hard and I love deep. My fiancé knows that he shares me with the rest of the world because it’s part of who I am at my core, at a soul level. It’s part of being an empath, having extra sensory perceptions that manifest psychically and what I use now as a healer to heal others on a body, mind and spiritual level. My heart, my love is how I help others clear out their emotional baggage so that their bodies can flow more easily on an energetic level thus making them happier and more free to connect to their own souls as I have.

The people around us, what we eat, what we feed our bodies…all of it either allows one’s spirit to glow and grow stronger so that we can live out our soul’s purpose or hinders and disables our evolvement. It’s in our soul contracts. We are put through interactions with others to learn from them. Pain is a great motivator and a hard earned teacher. The path of the shaman teaches this and now that I’m in the field seeing people in this capacity it’s amazing how connected it all really is! Tiny scattered pieces blowing all around by the wind, carried off by the seas touching every single one of us.

“Scattered pieces”

Yesterday was a big day for my son and I because he was accepted into a technical program for heating and air conditioning. The fact that Ty can continue his education is something I have been manifesting for over a year now. I told him he has won the lottery ticket to life if he completes this certification because the world will always need to keep their environments warm and cool. He is a hands on learner and this is the perfect program for his technically inclined mind. I know he will shine. I’m so proud of him. This development really puts my mind at ease for his future because since the pandemic he has been unemployed and wondering how to start over. I expressed to him that he has time on his side and a youthful mind. Plus watching his Mom reinvent herself, move around the country and discover her own calling serves as inspiration to never give up.

“Tiny”

I see us humans so differently now and what we do to each other and Mother Earth. Just look around at our world events. The Universe supports us 100%. We have air to breath, ground to walk upon, water to drink and food to eat. These are constants that are taken for granted too often without questioning or taking time to think about it our impact upon each other and our planet. For the beauty in nature’s continued sake and the wellbeing of one another let’s do better. Love more, judge less. Give more, take less. Raising the collective vibration helps everyone. We are tiny drops of water in the ocean of life my dears. We are here for a short time. We owe it to ourselves and each other to do better.

Namaste 🙏

Here to heal

Please see my contact links to get in touch with me for tarot card readings, healing sessions and my books of poetry at

Linktr.ee/Ladysag77.com

Spirituality

Remembrance, a story of homecoming

This has been a very monumental week for me my dear readers. I completed the coursework for my role as a shamanic healer and energy practitioner to an abundance of blessings from the great Divine itself. I have completed two of my healing sessions, one for my teacher Lindsey Luna aka @soul.healing.with.luna and one for my son Ty. Each one felt so familiar yet different because Lindsey’s was conducted virtually over Instagram video chat and Ty’s was in person. I now can say with certainty that I was a shaman in a past life and that I worked with Lindsey in one of them. We have reunited in this life for great things, a purpose that is ever unfolding and so intimately beautiful. I get emotional just thinking about how much she means to me on so many levels, a sister, a mentor, a teacher and a dear kindred spirit friend.

This week for me is what defines a full circle moment. Just one year ago I felt so profoundly lost in my own emotional trauma while reliving the past I thought I had buried when I discovered Lindsey on Instagram and reached out to her for healing. Little did I know how deeply impactful that action would reflect upon my life today! We have completed many sessions together for my own healing and now she has taught me about the art of shamanism in a one on one course each week for the past 2 months that she herself admitted to taking years to grasp and understand because she developed herself, solo. Believe me my dear readers, these past few months have been a whirlwind of change, all necessary and quite painful at times. Since I committed to learn from her, I made a promise to myself to never give up knowing that I deserved to do this for myself. I took the first real and definitive step to create something that I can’t truly define by words only feelings. This process has meant so much to me and to my spirituality my dear readers, a homecoming. A return to oneness and to myself.

It all makes sense now, why I know the things that I know, see and feel so differently from other people. Especially why I cut myself off from these messages and gifts for most of my life. It was out of an overwhelming fear. God sent me on a journey in which I have learned from and now see beauty in. All of the pain, struggle and heartache was for this reason. The path of the wounded healer. Shamans are anointed and initiated in this way, forged in the fire. Embracing the I AM mantra and believing that I can overcome what is holding me back took years of diligence, practice and loss as well as hope, faith and of course a strong reliance upon God. Nothing is possible without my ultimate belief in Him, the creator of all. Our Universe and everything within is intricately dependent and created by God.

Recently I took part in a a fun word prompt challenge on the app that I use to create my poems, Mirakee. Happy 4 years in creation to them by the way! The challenge asked to write a poem on how we would like to be remembered after we have passed. Death is inevitable my dears even though I can admit to once feeling scared of it because it brought such devastating sadness along with it for the ones left in its wake. I now understand that we are all part of God’s master plan, the circle of life. I believe one’s spirit never dies and is reincarnated through human existence itself following the purpose that God chose in it’s creation. Remembering mine has brought me so much happiness, joy, inner peace and harmony. Here is the poem I created for the challenge.

“Remember me”

I use different tarot decks for daily guidance and this is the card I pulled today which I greeted with a knowing smile.

Archangel Michael has been working with me for sometime now

Writing has been a tool I have leaned on for personal development and understanding my entire life. In this past year, the poems I write are channeled messages from the archangels, most specifically Michael, Raphael and Gabriel. The holy trinity of messengers as all three are my spiritual guides that I feel in my life daily. They in tandem with my spirit animals tug at my soul strings and show me in the most intimate of ways messages from Divine. While I was in session with Lindsey, I felt as though Maria stepped aside and Serena (what I call my soul) stepped forward to provide the healing. Ultimate acceptance and internal permission to be a conduit in this way is the main idea and the theme of this poem.

“Soul Strings”

I’ve awakened from a deep slumber of dissociation and detachment from my authentic spirit my dear readers. Healing isn’t always pretty and nice but the rewards are priceless and the love I feel within my own being combined with the love I have for all of humanity paints my world in technicolor! I’ve often referred to being an empath in this way, feeling and seeing the world in a deeply vibrant hue at all times. It once kept me locked in the jaws of fear, fear of myself which caused utter and complete confusion. Now I understand it.

“Transformation”

I have 40 hours of apprenticeship hours to complete before my final certification. Besides having my children and becoming a mother, I have never wanted something more for myself. I’ve written before on here how I have never held a career in the traditional sense besides that of a caregiver. This role of a healer is the ultimate in care giving with the greatest level of responsibility that I could ever have imagined. I’m simultaneously humbled and honored to heal others through the art of shamanism. My journey has reached a new road, one that I take with a pep in my step and a grace I have practiced my whole life. Thank you God for seeing me worthy. I’m eternally grateful.

Please check out my books of poetry and tarot card offerings by visiting https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Grace, humility and patience

I’d say these three values have been tested and strengthened the most over these past two and half months my dear readers. I’ve written here many times that I firmly believe that God brings us to everything He knows we can live through. Period. The less we resist the challenges life presents to us the easier it is to integrate these values into our character. Surrender. Release. Let go. This too has been a focused mantra of mine. Forgive me my dears, for I never want to portray any of this as being easy yet the concept is simple. With daily intentions and practice, we all have the ability to manifest a life beyond our wildest dreams! I am living proof of that my dear readers.

I have been thoroughly enjoying this holiday (in the U.S. we are celebrating Memorial Day) and because it’s been raining off and on ALL weekend, I have spent my time bingeing some Netflix documentaries and mini-series. The one that really grabbed my heart is called, “Unorthodox” about a young women’s life as she grows up in the Hasidic community and ultimately discovers that their world is not for her as she leaves to discover her own true path. The parallels I drew to my own life, healing and self discovery were quite evident in each of the four parts of this series. The main character, Esty, definitely had to learn to show herself some grace while being patient enough with herself to discover her place in this world. I believe the humility she already possesses as a young women in her ultra Orthodox Jewish faith helped her a lot as she forges through the many obstacles of leaving the only place she has ever lived and travels to Berlin, Germany. This is a true story written by a woman who actually did just that in hopes of uncovering her true authentic self. From the very beginning she even tells the man who is to become her husband by means of an arranged marriage that she isn’t like the other girls, she is different.

For those of you who have been reading my blog here, I too have expressed that I have always felt different from my peers. The black sheep of my family. Many of the scenes like the one of her bathing in the kosher bath as a way of purifying her body before her marriage resonated deeply with me. Her attempts at being reborn through becoming sub servant to her new husband in order to birth his children and repopulate the world with more Jewish people in order to make up for the millions lost in Holocaust is both selfless and remarkedly relatable because I believe we all experience some level of dysfunction in our lives. It’s meant to serve a purpose I believe in deciding what we ourselves believe in and are committed to carrying on with or what we decide isn’t part of our belief system and should be left aside. I don’t mean any disrespect to this community, that isn’t my intention with this post. My heart in many ways related to and broke for Esty because she was forced into many situations that were not her own choice. God has given all us free will and we come into this world as sovereign beings yet because of societal conditioning are thrust into certain circumstances and situations not of our own choosing. There in lies the dysfunction.

Coming to terms with own beliefs and forging a life we can truly be ourselves in is crucial to happiness. I myself have lived most of my adult life in an inauthentic way. Doing things to make others happy in hopes of gaining acceptance and love no matter if I was hurting myself in the process. After Esty makes friends with a group of musicians and is finally feeling accepted, one of them tells her some truths that were both necessary yet hard for her to swallow. Again, such is life. Are you my dear readers telling people things just to appease them, be accepted or make them feel happy yet not exposing them to the real truth of a situation in order to spare their feelings? Wow. That one hit close to home. I have often been the bearer of bad news so to speak because I am honest to a fault at times and don’t always sugarcoat my words. I have also been on the receiving end of such harshness and now reflecting back upon those situations, I’m thankful for them. Definitely a shift to how I viewed those situations at the time but isn’t that also another beautiful part of life? The mystery and discovery of what certain things are meant to teach us over our time here on Earth. Our opinions and judgements, perspectives and perceptions can completely shift. I believe just as life itself is, all things are relative and cyclical.

In that part of the story, even though she felt sad she ended up changing her entire approach for her audition in Hope’s of obtaining a scholarship she was yearning to get to a prestigious music academy. That is the very essence of all of life’s choices my dear readers. We can learn from these setbacks, shift and go in a conpletely different direction or we can take on a victim mentality and allow whatever hardship to destroy us, quit which in the long run turns into a resentment. Allowing others to cast judgements that we then use to disempower ourselves is a hard reality to face down the road. Believe me, I have lived through many situations and circumstances that I don’t regret now but at the time wished I had handled differently.

Everything that has happened thus far is truly a blessing and being able to admit that fully is real growth. By living with a false sense of reality, we only hurt ourselves. Up until this part in the story, Esty has faced so much rejection. Mostly within herself yet she keeps courageously plugging along trying to make her dreams come true. When her hopes seem lost, she calls her Grandma, her bubby and the woman who raised her and because the fear of being cast out by the community is too great, her bubby hangs up the phone on her. Again, Esty must decide if that setback will crush her and force her back to the only home she has ever known. Ultimately we are shown that she has the bravery it takes to keep going despite it all. Even when all the chips are down, she finds the strength to keep believing in herself. She wants a better future for herself and her unborn child. That part really struck a chord with me as a mother and somebody that has felt like a failure for so long.

This year has been one of complete transformation and rebirth for me on all levels. As a mother, partner, daughter, sister, friend and most importantly as a woman. Rediscovering myself and remembering what my purpose here in life is has been the most beautiful, painful, tedious and challenging experience of my life thus far. I’m grateful to have discovered what I call my soul language and my true authentic voice. I wrote this poem as a way of expressing that.

I have also started my apprenticeship to become a shamanic healer and in doing so I had some “homework” to commit to doing. I did a lot of sitting with myself, talking openly to God and spirit. Communicating with the spirit animals that resonate with me, learning about tree spirits…..stuff like that. I know many of you probably think as my partner does that that’s totally weird and a foreign feeling activity for you personally. It’s all part of my own journey however and I fully embrace it! God has brought me here to a place of learning more about why I have these extra sensory perceptions and gifts. My path is truly my own and in discovering more about myself I have been given this message. The following poem sums everything up quite well. This is where I find myself and I am eternally grateful to be awake, alive and present for the present that God has given me! Peace, love and light my dear readers….love yourself and one another.

Please check out my 2 books of poetry available now on Amazon at the links below.

Spirituality

Staying in the love vibration

Not matter the current circumstances my dear readers, I am choosing to reject all of the fear being pumped into our society currently. Despite the fact that it is Friday the 13th and the Coronavirus is threatening the health of millions, billions throughout all of humanity……keep in the love vibe. Please. Love is the highest and most powerful of all energy vibrations ❤

Here are eight helpful tips you can practice to keep love running through your mind, body and spirit 🥰

  1. Become conscious of your thoughts. Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality. We truly are our thoughts💭
  2. Find something beautiful and appreciate it. I do this through meditation and visualization.
  3. Be conscious of the foods you eat. Again, you are what you eat.
  4. Drink water and plenty of it. It’s the best way to rid the body of toxins
  5. Meditate. For at least 5 to 15 minutes every day. It’s a muscle that can be built over time, repetition and practice. I have been incorporating meditation into my daily routine for 10 years now and practicing yoga for 20. It’s never perfect but is progress in keeping myself balanced and centered 🧘‍♀️
  6. Be grateful. Especially with yourself. Show others kindness and practice the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated🙌
  7. Practice acts of kindness. Both random and intentional, our world needs this now more than ever✌
  8. Get your blood pumping by moving your body for at least 20 minutes daily. Why not smile while doing it too….studies show that smiling while exercising has an even more beneficial impact on your overall health in the long term 😁

No matter what, reject all fear. Stay in the love vibration ❤🙌


This morning my creative mind wanted to play around with different types of poetry formats. Tapping into my passionate heart and my ability to empathize, using compassion to understand humanity. My message here is to love one another now more than ever❤


Spirituality

Thoughts on happiness

My dear reader’s I have been having noticing a reoccurring confirmation from friends, mentors along with the messages I receive from the Universe regarding how to obtain lasting happiness. It boils down to this….. it’s definitely an inside job! Nothing external, meaning outside oneself, can make you happy and keep you that way. Boy oh boy has this been a tough lesson to learn for me. There are so many mixed messages out there especially when you are bombarded with advertising promising you that this product or that program will give you all you ever dreamed of along with happiness. It takes going beneath the surface of everything in our society to get the real answer on this one my dears🤔

I firmly believe that a connection to both a higher power, whatever you choose to call that, I chose to call it God and a deep connection with yourself is needed for inner peace and happiness. I myself disconnected from myself many years ago due to trauma and the increasing fear it inflicted upon my life. Over the years, I abandoned belief, trust and love of myself. When I was sexually molested as a child, I internalized that pain and blamed myself. I never told anybody about it so that wound just grew and grew😪

The beliefs I had then were screaming at me everytime something challenging came up like, “you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve that” and “you’re a failure so stop trying.” Either of these beliefs can be destructive to one’s self esteem but both of them wrecked havoc and destroyed my aspirations and dreams. Not to mention the times in my life when I have succumbed to a case of the “fuck its” and chose to be completely self destructive going scorched Earth with my life by quitting everything and everybody with no explanations and running away. I’ve done that too many times during my 42 years that I care to recall here🙄

I tell you dear readers all of this to be able to exclaim that those darker days are officially over! I have faced the pit of my issues, healing from sexual abuse over these past 10 months. I have been able to establish my management position at an amazing boutique downtown. I am about to self publish my second book of poetry. I have gone back into the dance studio and am loving class again. I have attended 2 poetry slams so far this year. I have an interview article coming out soon highlighting my writing career here in Dallas. These are my external accomplishments and achievements but what means more to me on an intimately personal and much deeper level is the acceptance of myself and living authentically every damn day with no apologies. I now know true inner peace😊

My perspective

It’s a major shift of perspective for me to realize that only I can advance or derail my success in life. The main ingredient for this depends on your level of self love. Since June, I have been treating myself a whole heck of a lot better. I’m my own best friend and caregiver. It will still be a work in progress but the internal dialogue with myself, the many parts of me that clammer for attention like my inner child which is still wounded at times, my ego (thinking mind), my instinctive personality (INFJ) and then my intuition which is my highest self’s voice and my soul has reached a point where I can recognize each of these bits of Maria so that I can make decisions based upon my best interests. This is a humungous difference from the previous years of my adulthood! I can honestly say the more I pause to decide how to respond to life’s ebbs and flows, the more I can differentiate between the many facets of me!

For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of being off work and enjoying some much needed free time. I have been listening to 963 Hz tone frequency on the SoundHeal app during my meditation time. At this frequency I’m stimulating and balancing the Sahasrara, thousand petaled or crown chakra. This is generally considered the 7th primary chakra which is the energy center for understanding according to most tantric yoga traditions. It can be used to attain a state of Nivana-oneness. This frequency returns the system to its original state. It is said that when a yogi is able to raise his or her kundalini, the energy of consciousness, to this chakra the state of Nirvikalpa Samodhi is experienced. Ah….yessssss🧘‍♀️

Well all I can tell you is due to my sensitivity I have been experiencing some amazing benefits from using this frequency. Today, I felt filled with energy. So much so that I went for a long run/walk that amounted to my own personal marathon! I used my MapRun app to track my time/distance/pace and honestly, I didn’t turn it on from the beginning so add another 3 miles to this total…..I completed 27 1/2 miles today 🏃‍♀️

Maria’s marathon 🏃‍♀️

Along the way I was singing out loud to my favorite female 90s pop icons like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I even took a detour to the swings and satisfied little Maria’s love for swinging! It was a welcome break from the path and I must admit felt so fantastic🥰 I just love the exhilarating feeling I get from pumping my legs in order to get as high as I can reach on a swing! This particular swing set is located around mile 8 or so on the running trail that circles White Rock Lake. I observed some very picturesque moments that I captured like these birds sitting in the trees over the lake.

I just adore the feeling I get being out in nature by myself. I feel so alive and whole as is evident in this selfie I took 😎

Hey y’all 🤗

I saw this sentiment near the elevators on a floor of the hotel I work inside a few days ago and quickly snapped a picture of it as inspiration for this post. I agree with Ms. Turner 100%

Lastly, this one sums it up quite honestly and definitely reflects where I am today on my journey. Love, light & peace ❤🌠✌

Where I’m at😉

Spirituality

I Am

Seeking

Who am I is the reoccurring question throughout my entire life. It has haunted me, left me distraught, distracted and then exhilarated and finally an inner peace that compares to nothing else. The search for self and one’s purpose is so crucial to happiness. I’m in a good space finally. Peace, love & life✌❤

Mental health, Spirituality

The art of allowing love is magic

Oh love, what a complicated and fickle pursuit it can be! My dear readers I have come into such an abundance of love’s pure energy flow lately and so far my new year is as bright and shiny as my spirit is. Last Monday I expierenced my third vision, out in nature, which I just love. Awe inspiring and breathtakingly beautiful! Looking up at the sky now holds more meaning for me than ever before. As I continue to heal and push through obstacles, one solution remains constant and true and that is love. When we allow love to flow freely throughout our entire being it frees us from our problems and allows us to be closer to Source and Divine power.

In keeping with my daily rituals while always setting the intention to allow a steady stream of unconditional love to flow through I am reminded to surrender. Love presents a polarity between weakness and strength. When we are in love we are vulnerable because we are putting our heart out there and there’s always a possibility we might be hurt or let down. Yet when we do this, we are showing strength in our belief that we deserve and want love. Accessing superior energy, which is God (or whatever higher power you believe in) we are able to look inward and feel that essence inside of us. It’s there in abundance dear readers. I know this to be true because I kept myself closed off from it for years. My intuition was quiet almost inaudible, barely being listened to. Now, ten years into this spiritual and self healing journey, it is loud and clear.

The first step was learning to love myself and to do that I had to figure a few things out. Understanding where I had been, why I was here and what was my soul’s purpose became goals that had me reading anything in the spiritual realm I could get my hands on. Seeking out therapists, taking medications for a time (15 years to be exact) to heal from the severe traumas I had experienced, attending outpatient therapies like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). Getting my mind right as the kids say, was a painstaking process that has instilled patience with myself into my core. None of this happens overnight 🤯

Along this journey I learned some powerful tools that I incorporate into my daily self care practices. Meditation is hugely vital to my well being and allows me quiet reflection and observation space to my rapidly shifting thoughts. Listening to binaural sounds at varying frequencies allows me to hear my spirit guides better and receive messages from them. We all have these angels all around us and last week Universe gifted me an angel orchestra of them during my vision. I have been asking for a sign to show me they were here and as I gazed up into the big blue sky while the moon was showing herself, all of a sudden I saw hundreds of twinkling white lights! Immediately I knew that they were my guides saying hello. I was filled with an indescribable sense of comfort and warmth while tears streamed down my face, it was one of the most beautiful sights to behold.

After that, my week continued to unfold in both positive and painful ways. I have come to a point in my life where I can see the beauty and purpose within pain. It’s my body’s signal and way of teaching me what I need to heal from, let go, accept and turn into strength. It’s like magic when you think about it that way. I’m no masochist, I no longer engage in self denial and I don’t seek out pain on purpose. I do however believe pain is one of our greatest teachers. Over my 42 years, I have experienced an incredible amount of pain and heartache that I know now served its purpose in instilling a deep love and kindness for my fellow humans and all living things for that matter.

When you allow love in you understand it’s the only truth

I was drawn to do some inner child healing too last week which used to scare me because it was painful to look at. Now that I feel more in tune with my own emotions, loving myself in this way allows me to reparent the little me inside. Planning for and scheduling activities that bring out my childhood essence is really important for my continued growth, self integration and evolvement. These include talking to myself, dancing, going out in nature, painting, listening to music and singing along. Playing around with sounds like chanting, even swinging on a swing! That was my favorite activity as a child, I always felt like I was flying so high and free.

Remembering this part of me allows me to be my own hero and rescue myself which is hugely empowering. I write letters to my younger self at different ages reminding her she is no longer alone and is seen, heard and loved. It’s again, a kind of magic when those old stories that ran through my head telling me I’m not good enough or I am too much, too sensitive get triggered to start playing and now this new more calming and comforting voice is heard in their absence. Reparenting myself is a huge gift to not only me but those who love me and are in my life can see a big shift in my outlook and self confidence. Isn’t it amazing how music can fill the shallow parts of our souls allowing us this wonderful connection with who we are?

As an empath, I have lived most of my life distracted and focused upon other’s feelings and thoughts while neglecting my own. Honestly, my own were scary to me and overwhelming so I neglected them in favor of trying to save or rescue another. I can also admit that even during my current relationship with my fiance, there have been many many times that I looked to him to save me. Finally, I understand that only I can save me. I am responsible for my own happiness and the inner joy I feel is fueled by such self love and gratitude for the lessons I’ve learned. I have no regrets and I wouldn’t change a minute of my life thus far.

My main goal for this year has been to put myself out there more by releasing my inhibitions once and for all. I have forced myself to do more video confessionals that I post on my social media @emotionalmusings on both Instagram and Facebook. I hoped to attend my first poetry slam where I would perform one of my most personal poems, “Glimpses”this past Friday. My words are like my children and it both terrifies and excites me to share them on a stage. Unfortunately the weather here in Dallas kept me from attending but it turns out Universe is granting me another opportunity to do it this Friday because I have the night off from work!! YAY😊

I also reached out to a dear fellow empath friend @emilyrainbowglo on Instagram to ask her if she would want to do a collaboration with me, a live chat for our fellow empaths to feel empowered by and learn from. I was thrilled with the outcome of our conversation yesterday, it was seamless! It’s still available for a few more hours if you dear readers would like to hear what we had to talk about. It’s based around love and surrendering to it, allowing in self love and care so that we can protect our precious spirit and gifts while being open to receiving messages from the Universe. I have also asked another healer and dear friend of mine if I could join her on her new podcast. I will keep you dear readers in the loop of when that happens but for now you can follow her on Instagram @comealivewithchrissymarie and her podcast on Spotify is called, “The Art of Aliveness”. I will post the link below so you can check her out too.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7aiqLKqwfl9Z4KkjLllPe8?si=Aw8ANxUhRnW3cLMg1WzGjA

I have made up my mind that this year, 2020 is the year I stop holding myself back. I have done just that for one reason or another for the last 40 years and finally, FINALLY I feel strong enough to put my hand ✋ up to anything or anybody that tries to have me go back into a box or wants to label me, stifle my spirit….no thank you!! I am determined to let my free spirit soar as high as I can fly! I also did a confessional for a company I represent by sharing my story. I have it published here as a post under, “My journey with BodHD,” but I will also drop the link below so it can be accessed here too.

I wrote this poem last night that really expresses my love and gratitude to the elements, the Universe that has held me in its loving arms, nurturing my spirit even when I was neglecting it and continued to show to love and acceptance. That little voice has always been there giving me the strength to never give up. Whatever pushes you along my dear readers, keep doing it. Don’t let anything stop you, ever. Shine and allow the world your gifts. Never give up. I am a forever friend to all and I appreciate your support, follows and likes. You can always reach out to me, I love to listen. You too can “Triumph over Trauma “😊💪💜

The elements that make me who I am
Spirituality

Consciously blocking fear

This has been a tremendous past week for me my dear readers!! I have received so many messages from the Universe validating the path I’m currently on which is the journey back to the authentic spirit I embody within this human vessel. In a nutshell, I have raised my vibration to the point where I’ve shifted into such love and abundance while actively blocking out fear. If you read a newspaper or watch the news, however you get your information, there are events happening in our world that have many speculating if we are of the verge of WW3. What these events like the wildfires in Australia and the US killing Qasem Suleimani one of Iran’s top generals me is to not allow fear to get it’s claws into my psyche.

I’m uber focused on not allowing myself to be brought down by fear. Everything is energy so when we engage fear we are ultimately feeding it. I chose to feed love by investing my energy into making myself the best human being I can be, knowing myself as well as I can. For me, it’s about management of my time and what I’m feeding myself. You are what you feed your mind and body. Period.

I must serve myself and heal myself first so I can live my soul’s purpose which is of spreading love and kindness to everyone I meet. We need more random acts of kindness and empathy for our fellow sisters and brothers. We are all connected, everything alive on this planet has an affect on each other. When you start to really see the world we live in in this way, you want to make choices from love and abandon fear.

I recently watched a YouTube video by one of my favorite YouTube stars, Ralph Smart aka Infinite Waters. He calls his followers Deep Divers because we dive into different subjects going below the surface and appearance. He is a beacon of light and hope sharing advice on how to make yourself more self aware, be a better person, gain consciousness etc….you get the point as to why I follow him closely😉 One of the connections he draws upon highlighted within the video below is that our society is feeding fear by ingesting animals. The killing of animals during food production creates fear and pain for them. By ingesting that meat, now you have transferred that energy into your own body. Think about it. That one blew me away.

While I’m on the subject of YouTube stars, another amazing woman I follow closely is Dr. Nicole Pera aka The Holistic Psychologist. I stumbled upon her Instagram page through one of the soul sisters I follow on Instagram. She’s revolutionizing the field of mental health by focusing on what the root cause is for so many illnesses, disorders and conditions. Every day she posts advice on how to undo the programming and conditioning we as a society go through when we are growing up. The steps she lays out make it crystal clear on how to become more self aware, live more consciously and make better decisions surrounding our choices and behaviors. Her guidance has helped me in countless ways! She’s a tool in my ever evolving tool belt of self healing information.

Today she posted about unraveling the conditioning we go through, specifically the letting go of the habit of self. Many professionals in the field describe “self” as personality but really it is the expieriences we live through that creates this aspect of ourselves. This is ego, unconsciousness, operating throughout life on auto pilot, living in the past and it doesn’t serve us well at all. Here is the link to her YouTube video.

Become an observer my dear readers and understand that the first step in obtaining peace in this world is to start within yourself. Working on the inside will eventually transform the outside world around us. Ralph and Nicole have very similar messages. Their work and content focus around discovering our authentic self which is what our spirit, what our soul tells us. This is our intuition. The longer we operate from fear, the more silent that inner voice becomes. I’m talking about our intuition. Some end up never even acknowledging it at all let alone trusting it.

For most of my life, I was living in a constant and perpetual state of fear and anxiety. I didn’t feel good enough, I distrusted my inner guide and went about creating false stories, ego stories, that screamed at me that I was a failure. Since working so diligently on raising my own vibration, becoming a realized and empowered empath all that has vanished.

The creation of daily morning rituals helps me to care for my spirit by allowing me to finally feel my worth. Meditating regularly has allowed me to become an observer to my obsessive and compulsive thoughts surrounding anxiety and depression. I can choose what I act upon, what is real for me. Journaling is a great way to unload my mind and stay in the present. I pick up on so much dear readers, being constantly sent messages about the others around me whether I like it or not. It can really weigh me down if I let it.

Becoming aware of synchronicity is one of the signs of a spiritual awakening and definitely one of the coolest parts of my journey thus far. I have praised my dear soul sister Lindsey Luna aka soul.healing.with.luna on Instagram a few times in my posts. She is an amazingly talented shamanic healer and Reiki master. A few weeks ago she posted her chakra healing crystal set in an Instagram story and I was immediately smitten with them! I quickly messaged her and asked her where she found them. The neat thing about us empaths is that we are so in tune with each other, she knew I would ask her! On Saturday they arrived to my pleasant surprise about an hour after I posted about allowing soul power to flow freely. Not a coincidence, there is no such thing my dear readers 😊

I opened the box and gazed lovingly upon my new crystal beauties. I took three deep breaths as I held each chakra point crystal in my hand while setting an intention our loud. I burned some sage to cleanse them too from any negative charges they may be carrying. The fact that Lindsey picked them out, touched them and transferred her own positive energy into them is very special to me. I then lay them upon each of my chakra points while listening to her guided meditation. I can’t fully express the euphoric feeling I immediately recieved from these healing crystals!! When I was finished and was putting them away each crystal was quite hot to my touch. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the rest of the day!

The last bit of news I will leave you with is that I expierenced my second vision!! It was so awe inspiring and glorious leaving me with tears streaming down my face🤗 I started using a brain waves frequency app for background tones while I meditate. I was sitting outside in my backyard just gazing at the sun through the trees. All of a sudden I could see the energy waves in the air. This isn’t the 1st time I have seen them but what was different is the appearance of the sun. I saw a big purple heart. At first there were three circle like shapes and then those morphed into a heart. This keep happening over and over while I just stared in awe. An overwhelming feeling of calm came rushing over my body from head to toe.

Witnessing such a vision is a clear message to me from Universe that everything will be alright. Purple is not only my favorite color but when I saw my guardian angel during my first vision, she was bathed in purple light. Universe really knows how to quickly get my attention!

About twenty minutes after that experience I went back inside to journal about it and write the following poem💜🌈🌠✌🙏😊

Spirituality

An end of year gift to myself

Here we are my dear readers, the final days of 2019. We made it through another year and decade. We’re in a new moon and eclipse cycle too which has my energy vibes feeling a sense of overall calm, a tiredness has settled into my entire being. A few days ago I wrote a poem about the greatest gift to myself and how much it means to me to be uncovering my true and authentic self. It’s the most wonderful, beautiful and precious experience of my life.

It certainly has not come easy or free! Since June, as you know if you have been following my blog here, I have been on an accelerated spiritual journey. It required a tremendous amount of patience and grace on my part. Integrating my shadow self, the aspects of my character that are darker, the ones I don’t like to admit led me to places I never dreamed I would be. Ultimately accepting every ounce of what makes me me has taught me so much. I finally see my worth, understand my value and strive each day to care for my spirit by practicing daily rituals that strengthen the bond I have with myself.

Over this past weekend, I stumbled upon a website where I could map together my complete birth chart. Cafeastrology.com gives a very detailed and informative view of where the sun, moon and planets were positioned the day you were born. It took me two days to read it and summarize it into my journal. The descriptions of my characteristics( inborn, undeveloped and overdeveloped) impressions I leave upon others, my communication style, habits and reactions to the world, whom I attract, my values within different situations are all connected to my chart. I learned so much about myself and was validated on many fronts it was uncanny! Certain paragraphs I had to reread twice, even three times because they blew me away so much.

The picture above raises interesting questions. I feel that there are certain character challenges that are unavoidable while some information I read I could definitely connect with in a way that is constructive to my growth. For example, I was born a highly sensitive, even moody at times individual. Most empaths moods can change so rapidly leaving others around them quite puzzled as to why. The sensitivity I am most especially affected by is the relation to my environment. I am extremely sensitive to it due to my heightened senses. If something smells off, I am distracted, often bothered and have difficulty focusing. If sounds are too loud, I am immediately in fight, flight or freeze mode. I believe no matter how much I work on myself these physiological aspects of my being wouldn’t change. I believe them to be hard wired.

However, I do take heed to the suggestions within my reactions to others. For example, I rely too heavily upon myself. I like to be independent and this streak is defined in every description throughout my chart from my sun and moon signs, both are Sagittarius by the way(many of the planets were in Sagittarius for me making me a super Sagittarius)to Saturn in Virgo and Uranus in Scorpio position. All define my intense desire to keep others out of my inner drive to get things done. My North Node in Libra and in my 4th house says that I take on the management role of fixing problems like a second nature although if I let others in, I can improve my life many times over. This is definitely something I can attest too being true. Initially, I want to handle everything on my own, have all the answers etc. Life has proven to me that when I reach out and ask for help, the load I’m carrying whether physical, emotional or spiritual gets much lighter.

I believe learning the most I can about myself by becoming as aware of myself as possible, the better I can care for myself in the world and within my relationships with others. I have always had a feverish curiosity for knowledge and understanding. I’m a gentle, generous and emotionally sensitive person who is practical in my values and fairness with others. I tend to be independent and want my freedom. I get restless when I feel I must conform to others ideals or am around others with inhibitions forced upon me. I am a very free spirit who likes to think and figure things out myself in my own unique way. I can come across as slow and methodical with my language and writing when I am taking on too much information. I need to process things conpartmentally at times in order to derive meaning from it because I’m highly philosophical.

All of this information has taught me how to handle my problems, mood shifts and emotions when dealing with others as an empath. I have always tended to get more involved with other’s feelings rather than feel and pay attention to my own. I believe I’m shifting this tendency. Even my partner can see a difference in me in how he and I interact. I think it’s hard for him because he doesn’t want to feel left out or left behind because of my growth. I assure him that my personal journey is necessary for my spirit and purpose during this journey to continue. It’s nothing to be feared or worry about but a beautiful and everlasting gift to myself.

I have often done just this. Feeling “too much” for others to handle because of my passionate views, the intensity of emotions I display and brutal honesty. Sometimes I can definitely put my foot in my mouth and say things with little or no tact. Being born and raised in New Jersey while residing in the South has elicited comments from others about my brashness and abruptness which leave a negative connotation in my mind. Attempts to stifle or cover these traits never works or feels genuine to me. I only end up hurting myself and that is something I’m finally finished doing!

What I have learned is to embrace it ALL. I refuse to hamper down who I am for anybody. I have lived through and endured so much pain and heartache that experiencing this revitalization of my spirit feels like flying. I alone decide how high I will soar, who I will let into my inner circle of loved ones and damn all the rest. This is me, in my truest and most genuine form. I love me today and that is something I pretended to feel for entirely too long for the sake of others. No longer will I allow the thoughts, opinions and actions of others to cloud my self expression.

I’m ready to kiss 2019 goodbye with a deep felt gratitude for all the lessons I have gathered this year. I have a clear picture of my future in 2020 and beyond that is of me owning my female empath warrior strength in an even more empowered and realized way so that I may shine as brightly as our life giving Sun 🌞