Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 2

Today marks six months since my Dad passed over into the world of spirit. Writing a book is a very cathartic experience. The poems in this collection for my 5th book entitled, “My Soul’s Journey ” were originally written between early November 2020 through March 2021, documenting the time shortly before my Dad’s passing up until the first days of Spring. While I write this manuscript, I’m reliving memories and feelings that are all still so fresh while running through the gamut of emotions. Writing is and always will be where my soul emerges from a place of confusion and then rises to clarity, like the tone of a singing bowl, as I process through all of my senses. My intention is to honor both my Dad and myself by publishing the poems that helped me understand my role as a shaman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a friend through the most amazing yet painful times of my life.

I focus often on how it’s important to allow the lessons life has for us to teach us to embrace ALL aspects, from as many perspectives as can be gleamed from for the wisdom each of them holds. As I transcribe each poem, I’m reminded of the environment from which my words were birthed. What sparked the message to come through and how did writing each poem help me to understand myself in the moment. Often I find myself bursting into tears as I allow the medicine in the message to wash over my soul again, but in a deeper and more profound way having put space between the time it was written until now. This book is different because I took a deliberate pause after writing these poems for almost two months before beginning this manuscript. For the previous four books, I wrote the poems and immediately thereafter the manuscript was constructed and published. This book serves to teach me a bigger lesson, one my soul has been striving to learn for many, many years. Patience.

While following the many steps it requires to build a manuscript, I don’t write a lot of original new works. However, a kindred spirited friendship and sisterhood that began right here on WordPress, evolved from a deep resonance of soul recognition and purity of love thus inspiring me to do a collaboration. Ace of http://fearlessfreesoul.com and I immediately connected at the end of last year because our writing styles are so similar. We both use love with the absence of fear as our medicine and magic. She creates the most amazing videos on empowerment and positivity. Her old soul spirit instantly reminded me of my youngest son Miles and our relationship grew from commenting on one another’s posts to a personal correspondence by text and voice clips. I have never collaborated with another writer before and I am truly honored to do so with such a gifted writer with such a big heart! Our duet is a match made in heaven,, divinely timed and powered! These are two of the poems we wrote together this past week and I’m filled with such joy to share them with you all here.

It’s important to allow myself breaks in between all the work it takes to write a book. You my dear readers know how much I love to spend time dancing and listening to music because it fires up my spirit while setting it free. May these three dance videos bring you joy and laughter as it served my heart good to make them.

Salsa anyone?
Love Foolosophy
I love the way my finger cymbals sound with this song, “Dancing by the River” Manish Vyas

Please check out two new features in the menu tab, one is a gallery of some pictures including my healing crystal grids and a video explaining my healing sessions. The other is a collection of testimonials from my clients on how our sessions have impacted their healing journey. Remember my dear ones, every day do whatever you feel brings your song of self out and sing it loudly for all the world to hear!

Sing, sing your song

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 1

My dear readers, I have commenced building the manuscript for my fifth book of poetry entitled “My Soul’s Journey”. I’m dedicating this one to my Dad since all of the 87 poems were written after his death and honor the number of years he spent on the Earth in physical form. The number five symbolizes change and while writing this book I have embarked upon the most amazing change and chapter of my own journey! Healing both myself and others through the art of shamanism allows everything I have intuitively known and felt fall into place. My life now after 43 years, finally makes sense! The number forty-three symbolizes success in all areas of life, the kind achieved through hard work, strong will and patience that comes with a great understanding, knowledge and nobility. Life presents us many opportunities to learn and elevate our soul through each moment to see how ALL of it serves for our highest good and greatest healing.This is my time and I am here to claim every ounce of joy, inner peace and tremendous love for life!

This month I have been focusing on my Sacral chakra, healing old wounds left by emotional upheaval and past trauma. Recently I found myself triggered by an assignment for the course in sound healing I was taking. It helped me to realize that I was attempting once again to prove something, validate my worth and feel good enough. After tapping into my intuition and coming to terms with the intention for seeking the certification in the first place, I had an ah-ha moment realizing that continuing with the course was not going to serve my best interest. This was a life lesson shining light upon an mindset that no longer fits who I am today and what I believe. This is an old tape playing an offbeat tune. Hitting eject, I asked myself why was I taking the course in the first place? What was this course going to add to my life?

Celebration of the colors and functions of the chakra system

There are a few factors that contributed to my final decision. My own attention to focus in and stay engaged with an online course for sound was a major challenge because I found the platform itself to be boring. Mainly however it was what the instructor said to me when I told him his course wasn’t for me that proved to me I had made the right decision. He accused me of not being able to provide a therapeutic environment because of my own emotional instability after the assignment was questioned. Whether it was a communication breakdown or misunderstanding, what became apparently clear to me was that questioning his assumed authority triggered his own ego and displayed a character defect that resulted in a judgement of a student. Has no one dropped his course before or not wanted to continue? That’s not how I operate as a teacher. I conduct myself as a guide for each of my student’s journey while learning the art of shamanism. Holistic healing is an intuitive art, whether in sound, art, energy, or crystals etc. It shouldn’t be based on financial gain. My intention is each individuals highest good and healing for their unique journey. It became completely clear we weren’t on the same page and that’s OK. Not everybody is my flavor nor I their cup of tea. Honestly, I felt right away from watching his videos that I couldn’t learn from him. My first thought was to react to his opinion of me and then my higher self, my soul whom I call Serena, stepped forward and reminded me I don’t need to prove my journey to anyone. I’m no longer interested in approval or acceptance from others. Doubting my own gifts is an old mindset pattern and no certification is necessary for me to do what I intuitively do in shamanic sessions. Sound healing is already a part of what I do naturally. I am determined to find another resource for knowledge of what I want to learn. I wrote a reactionary email and then just as quick as I wrote it, deleted it. Moving on.

What became crystal clear is that for all of my life, I wasn’t the one accepting me. I was doubting my own worth, gifts and power which blocked trust, acceptance and love of myself. I blindly believed the opinions and judgments of others. Awakening has created radical shifts that allow me to question what truly is best for me while healing and recognizing my authentic voice over these past two years. This is an ongoing cycle of integration as I forgive, surrender, release and accept, finally I’m celebrating all the pieces of me! I tell my clients that “we can’t outsource love, we must each fill our own cup of happiness, inner peace and love”. My own words rang like a bell in my head!

Locked in and loving myself

Living as an open psychic channel for Spirit has created gaps in my life where I felt completely lost for many years. Self medicating through addiction to substances and maladaptive coping behaviors further distanced my soul from my being. It felt like I was on a permanent vacation from life, muted and numb. Existing behind a wall of my own creation. I was an award winning actress at what I thought “normal” looked like and that was the mask I wore for thirty-five years. These t-shirts suit me to a T. This poem sums it all up beautifully.

Dressed by soul

Nowadays I lean into what allows me to feel free and happy. I express this best through movement, dance, yoga, painting and of course my writing. Here are my latest video shorts to the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I dare you not to smile!

Jazz Happy
Tap Happy

The final thought on this is that this emotional experience has taught me that no one but me needs to accept me! There’s no more hiding, trying to be someone else or denying the rainbow unicorn I am. My purpose is to shine love and light through my soul. Today I feel happy knowing this in my heart. I hope I made you smile!

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, personal development, Spirituality

New Beginnings, My Dance with Spirit

The saying, “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have” is singing through my mind as I compose this post my dear readers. It’s been two weeks since I made the hardest choice in my life to end the relationship with a man I know is my true love and soul mate. The strength, power and sheer freedom I have experienced is more than I can accurately articulate into words! I’m dancing in the sunlight of my spirit which further awakens depths within my soul that are new and exciting! I’m unleashing myself into the fires of creativity with passion for whatever is to come. The energy I feel is electric and empowering as the love vibration rises to new heights!

April is here and with it comes a freshness that has me skipping along my path as it unfolds. Ideas are springing forth with music and color bursting into light as I express myself by writing, dancing and the ritualistic practices of the shaman warrior I am. I’m about to embark upon a one year sound therapy certification and I’m thrilled to learn more about the therapeutic healing that has changed so much for my sensitive being. I regularly use different sound frequencies when I meditate to heal, align and balance the seven main chakras in the body. I love to learn and welcome all opportunities to extend my knowledge in this area. I’m also taking part in a clinic for stand up paddle boarding at the local beach I frequently ride my bike to. I first tried the sport five years ago and fell in love with it. It aligns perfectly with my yoga and ballet practice plus the added enjoyment of being on the water.

God’s continuous love has me looking up with so much gratitude for this soul journey

I’ve started adhering to nudges from the Universe to unplug from technology more regularly. I’d much rather keep my face in nature’s beauty or in a book lately. Rereading some of my favorites from Maya Angelou and new books like “How To Do The Work” by Dr. Nicole La Pera aka “the holistic psychologist” on Instagram is about how to reconnect with your authentic self and heal as the powerfully magical beings we are. I’ve been following her and adding many of the techniques she shares on social media into my healing practices for two years now. Life continues to open up possibilities to me that I never thought possible to experience before and I am ready to live life as the gift it is! Living is an art and I am the painter of my own masterpiece. So are you my dear readers, be an original because our world needs you!

We are all more than “Smile and Be Pretty”
Da LA Soul’s “Me, Myself & I

Along with the new classes I’ll be taking, I booked a long anticipated trip up to Rhode Island to see my two boys. I haven’t been “home” (I resided there for 13 years) in almost 5 years and I am beyond excited to reconnect with my boys, dear friends and the place that holds many memories for me. Some of them are painful and traumatic yet I know I’m strong enough now to face them and take back the power I left in that place when I felt broken and empty of spirit. I moved away in 2013 to heal from a painful divorce that I initiated, a destructive pattern of abusing myself with drugs and alcohol and to create a fresh start in life. That’s when I moved here to my family’s second home in South Florida. A few months after moving here and one year after my divorce, I met my ex partner, through mutual friends. The past eight years has been a climb, back to sanity and wholeness. Honestly, the me I am now is the most alive and whole I have ever felt in all my life!

Becoming Me

I’m unafraid and finished with hiding who I really am. The confusion has vanished, an amnesia of sorts, as I awaken every day more excited than before for what the day holds. Remaining curious, inquisitive and open for the mysteries that await me. My creative passion drives me and when something comes to my mind, I do it! Like this video, I bust loose and shake off everything that doesn’t serve my highest good and healing.

“Bustin Loose”
Shake off what no longer serves my dear ones ❤
This book has been a part of my daily practice of reflection for years now
Standing I my power
Feeling everything
Hard truths
Soul Journey
Listen to your Soul Cry

Lastly my dear readers, I will leave you with a short video, a glimpse into the healing that I practice and share with my clients through crystals, the wisdom of tarot and the Light powered energy that is Divinely provided by Spirit.

Healing magic bathed in Full Moon brilliance

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Spirituality

The Divine Reverence of St. Ignatius

This post is a slight departure from how I usually share the thoughts, feelings and poems that make up the music of my soul’s journey. The rebirth I’ve had leading me to this new beginning has my feet firmly planted in Divine love and has begun to take shape as I open myself up to more of God’s direction for my life. Every morning I am showered by God’s love, grace and mercy as I pray and meditate, experiencing this world in quite the same way the great mystic and revered St. Ignatius did. I want to thank my dear friend David Duncan of http://davidsdailydose.org who nudged me towards learning more about the life and teachings of this mystical saint. This is a deep dive into the resonace I share with Divine reverence for St. Ignatius.

Ignatius is a name of Latin origin believed to mean “fiery one” and can be compared to the word “ignite”. His famous quote, “go forth and set the world on fire” has always held deep meaning for me as a fiery Sagittarius. I must admit however, until recently I was afraid of my own fire, the immense passion I feel inside for how I process and perceive everything in life. I’ve been hiding behind others in relationships and now I am fully ready to step into my power by living out another one of his great sayings, “act as if everything depended on you; trust as if everything depended on God”.

I recently listened to and learned so much about St. Ignatius from an audiobook called “Ignatian Mysticism, Exploring the Mystical Dimensions of the Spiritual Exercises” by Paul Countinho. Ignatius of Loyola, venerated as Saint Ignatius of Loyola, was a Spanish Basque Catholic priest and theologian, who together with Peter Faber and Francis Xavier founded the religious order called the Society of Jesus and became its first Superior General at Paris in 1541. The Jesuits are known for their missionary, educational, and charitable works. This order was the leading force in the modernizing of the Roman Catholic Church. Ignatius was a pilgrim, always moving and contemplative. I too have been moving around my entire adult life in a contemplative fashion. Mine is one filled with deep and serious thought, writing poetry and daydreaming about the many things that catch my heart as I dwell beneath the surface. My dear readers, that has always been where I’m most comfortable and how I spend my days.

What is a mystic…”a mystic is a person who has a direct experience of the sacred,unmediated by conventional religious rituals or intermediaries and absorption into the Divine. Since I was a child, I have experienced strong feelings, whispers and visions from Spirit yet up until recently never talked about or tapped into any of the wisdom being offered to me out of fear others wouldn’t understand or know what I was talking about. I’ve always known I was different, marching to the beat of my own drum they call it. In June of 2019, all that was always meant for me to learn from God was activated when I met and experienced my first shamanic healing session with my mentor and teacher Lindsey Luna. She performed the most sacred of healings on me, a soul retrieval, which sparked a deep and profound spiritual awakening. That healing finally erased all of the fears I had, cracked my entire world wide open, has since created many accelerated transformations and brought me to the path of becoming a certified master shaman. What I believe be God’s purpose for my life.

The way both St. Ignatius and I have come to know and understand God began through nature and specifically, we view the night sky as God’s masterpiece to behold. My own visions began years ago while I was star gazing. I have been seeing lights, shadows and angels for years now. We believe everything is interconnected and has one Divine identity. It is a right, not a privilege to receive the gifts and graces of God. The pathway to this deepening relationship is ever changing and constantly evolving. Never do I cling to just one experience or idea as my soul came into this life open wide to receive God’s love. Ignatius saw beyond the sexual identity of male or female, race, class or any other category we put people in modern society in today. He chooses to see the pure essence, the shared humanity and consciousness of Divine as One, the Universal law of One. This is true for all of us, including God. It is known in Ignatian Mysticism that no one figure is seen as female or male. We are both Divine feminine and Divine Masculine equally, an important fact that must be retained for balance and harmony to be restored to Earth.

By remaining open and allowing life to happen to me according to God’s will, as St. Ignatius did, we believe God finds us and not the other way around. I don’t lead God, I surrender to Him and He finds me. I have done my fair share of running from and denying God. It wasn’t until a suicide attempt and facing the trauma I have endured all my life that I really began to believe that I was worthy of God’s love. St. Ignatius too had suicidal ideation when he believed he wasn’t enough for God. He then came to understand that it’s not in the doing or finding, living for or overcoming God but in the surrendering to God, when we give ourselves over to the wisdom He is giving to us. God gives us unconditional love while we remain open, trusting with our faith in Him to receive it. God uses us as instruments to spread His message of unconditional love and through my healing practice, I am able do for others what was done for me. Ignatius himself said that belief is a very powerful thing….what if Mary didn’t believe what Archangel Gabriel told her about having a son whom we know to be Jesus Christ? As a shaman, all of the healing I provide is based upon the power of belief. This is an oath I wrote and intentionally follow.

“I vow to be open and honest with myself by follow the path of Spirit. I trust in where I’m being led and that the highest good is the first priority in my healing practice. I promise to allow Spirit’s guidance be the primary source for all the healing I perform and provide for the good of my clients and myself. Everything I ask for is based upon the power of intention and my magic is manifested from it. I use love as a superpower to heal first myself and others who choose to work with me. I remain true to my own spirit and my role as a conduit for the Divine on a Universal level. In light and in shadow, always with love ❤Namaste 🙏

“Reckoning”

St. Ignatius practiced three ways of praying to communicate with God and I identity with all of them as a daily practice. For many years, I had been yearning to see the face of God and was having spiritual experiences that I now understand much more fully. This is the beauty, mystery and great wonder of the journey of the soul.

The first way is through contemplative prayer, praying from the heart. I open up the core of my being to the wondrous mystery of life which orchestrates transformations to occur. Contemplation is the realization of things, not revelations, of my own spiritual identity. The authentic truth and voice of my soul. Communication with God in this way brings me to sobbing tears as both St. Ignatius and I experience through all of our senses….feeling, seeing and hearing the wisdom of God as musical notes, chords and spheres. I regularly see colored circles called auras around other people. The more I exercise this muscle of prayer, the more my spiritual experiences grow.

The second pathway of prayer is through meditation, which is an observation of the reflections of the mind to include memory, understanding and will. During this time I make resolutions and experience revelations (ah-ha moments). I’ve been deeply devoted to my meditation practice for over ten years now and is one of the most beautiful gifts of healing for the soul.

The third and last way St. Ignatius prayed is through what is called “application of the senses” which is a consciousness, presence and awareness of God. Breathing in, drinking of the image of God in all living things with all the senses. I go into an altered state of consciousness to communicate with Spirit which is how I provide healing for myself and others as a shaman. I’m aware of all the dimensions not merely the 3D physical plane. St. Ignatius practiced this too as a way of life, living and experiencing the world through the senses. Believing strongly in the flow, the tremendous gift that all of life is granted us by the Source of all, an infinite and all present God.

Last summer while I was studying to become a shaman and during my apprenticeship, I continuously and intentionally opened myself up to the miracle of Divine essence through all of creation, becoming recharged by God and began to view the whole of creation as sacred. By the end of July I became aware for the 1st time that I was actively channeling Spirit and I believe this poem is a direct message from St. Ignatius. In it, I feel the white rays of the Sun and the Light, Jesus Christ. I now understand that I have been unaware during my life how often I channel Spirit because my soul is so open. My work has helped me control my vessel so I can sleep more easily and not be awakened by them all hours of the night. That fact was a regular occurrence for Ignatius too until he established boundaries with Spirit over when he would receive messages.

“Divine Reverence” written 7/25/20

My dear readers, I took twenty-two pages of notes from this audiobook and could go further with the similarities and beliefs I share with St. Ignatius. I’ve learned a great deal more about myself through his life and am completely fascinated by him. I feel a deep endearment and a kindred love towards the man. I am an Ignatian Mystic. I believe with my whole heart that true power comes directly from my relationship with God as I continuously open myself up to receive Him. Love is not merely meant to give but to receive. By receiving God, I deepen my relationship with Him which provides meaningful purpose for my life. I am a woman of God, who possesses me and who uses me to help heal others, a gracious and humbling honor. I enjoy and celebrate the fullness of life with its intimate pleasures. I’m committed to a total union and communion with the Divine. After all of the darkness and trauma in my life, finding my identity within the Divine and experiencing the interconnectedness with all of life makes my heart sing and my body dance. I’m free to bask in the sunlight of Spirit, eternally grateful, full of peace, joy and love.

“Let love shine in” written 6/27/20

Hey dear readers, I have updated my Linktree so go check it out! If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment. Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9
In light and in shadow, always with love ❤ Namaste 🙏

Consciousness, Healing, Spirituality

Soul freedom 2021

I write about my emotions and those of others around me within this blog. That’s why I call it “Emotional Musings”. We are four days into this new year of 2021 and I can feel the door many of us have walked through that has given further rise in humanity’s elevation and ascension within our evolutionary process. I have been given lots of signs and information already from my guides. In this post I will share with you my poems and art that has further activated my soul’s purpose and freedom!

In my last post https://emotionalmusings.com/2020/12/28/whats-your-word-for-2020-2/ I shared that my word for 2020 was beauty. This is the word I chose at the end of the year. The one I chose at the beginning of 2020 was create. By setting clear intentions and goals, I created a whole new life for myself as a writer and shaman. I released three books last year that I’m immensely proud of and finished my master certification to become a shamanic healer. Both are incredibly important to my own healing journey and my soul’s purpose. This year for 2021, my word is freedom. In every sense of the word, I choose to remain free. My soul’s spirit is free from the judgements and opinions of others or any constraints that previously blocked its ability to sing, to love and to live! I continually strive towards financial freedom, something that has eluded me in the ten years since my divorce. Freedom to feel all of me, the intricate parts of self and soul. Integration of Serena, who I call my soul, and Maria Teresa, my birth name.

When I started this blog two years ago my main objective was to be as transparent as possible in regards to my journey through mental health, emotional breakdowns and breakthroughs which led me onto the spiritual life path I travel today. I want for all of my dear readers here to feel heard, seen and loved. To have hope enlivened, faith restored and love injected directly into your souls! We only get such a short time in this precious life, to experience consciousness in these human forms we inhabit. My intention is to inspire others to heal, live out their dreams and best life according to their soul.

I recently watched the Disney Pixar movie, “Soul” and felt inspired to share my spark here with you all my dear ones. Through my poetry and the healing I perform as a shaman, my soul sings loudly and freely. Another psychically inclined woman who I consider a soul sister wrote that we are Spirit’s “boots on the ground” and I firmly believe that! Please follow her blog at https://missdorrina.com I am a mere conduit for Spirit and it’s a real honor to share their wisdom with others. Together, I vow to do my part in helping to raise the vibration here on Earth, to heal humanity one heart at a time.

My most favorite Dead song ever because it speaks directly to my deep purple, turquoise and green soul. Listen to their best version of “Eyes of the World” from 1977, the year of my birth, at Englishtown, NJ (I’m a NJ native)

I make small promises to myself everyday along with intentions that I burn during shamanic rituals. I listen intently to to the guided messages from Spirit. I love deeply. This poem and painting is dedicated to my soul’s burst of 6 soul sisters and our eternal connection. We have all found one another and come back together in 2020. I want us to reunite in person this year! A soul reunion ✨

Colors of my soul

After I sit in my morning meditation is when I feel the most poetic energy influences flowing. These come directly from Source. The Divine. The angels, ascended masters, my ancestors, spirit guides and highest and holiest vibrational beings of light.

The only vaccine we need

Lastly, this poem is one I wrote to process some of my own observations regarding interactions in the relationships we have with one another. Awakening to my soul has afforded me a pause button, to really see the truth in life and what others serve to teach me here. It’s an ever unfolding, always fascinating and awe inspiring process. To view the internal struggle from an energetic perspective.

Shine love towards one another

Until next time my dears, keep staying curious about your intentions in life. Release what no longer serves you, love hard and live the life as the tremendously beautiful gift it is!

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below. For a personalized autographed copy please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77
paypal.me/tinyd9