Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

The tao of my heart

Today marks three weeks since my Dad’s passing. This time in my life, remains as I described in my last post, strangely beautiful. We’re extremely connected yet I can’t help but feel a tremendous heaviness within my heart. I’ve accepted that it will remain there for some time to come.. It’s as though his passing has created a leak within my heart and as much I try to find my footing, my flow is off. Ah, patience you fickle concept you. Alas, I find myself sitting amongst many of us in the collective within the dark night of my soul period, otherwise known as shadow work. The Universe has presented me with a triple whammy of sorts to sit through.

My creativity and imagination are what I’m leaning into mostly right now. Truth be told, patience and I are not friends lately. Google defines the concept of patience as “being more than trust, and as a value that reflects the state of one’s body and mind. The term pariksaha is sometimes also translated as test or exam, in other contexts. Some of these concepts  have been carried into the spiritual understanding of yoga”.

I must admit I haven’t been on my yoga mat as much as I should and need to be lately. I’m being brought through old coping patterns and lots of nostalgia. I’m having that, “seeing my life flashing before my eyes” scenario play out minus the sense of impending doom. Most days I cry often allowing the flow of my tears to happen without lending judgement to them. Crying for crying’s sake.

Many questions relating to Taoism keep popping up in my mind. Taoism is the ancient Chinese philosophy  (also known as Daoism)  attributed to the teachings of Lao Tzu, a spirit I channel often.  It emphasizes doing what is natural and “going with the flow” in accordance with the Tao (or Dao), a cosmic force of energy which flows through all things that both binds and releases them. These ideas align with me as a shaman as I ponder what my place is within this world. This year has brought me to a depth of my soul, a dark abyss  that can best be described as the place where scuba divers get to, way down deep into the ocean where they experience neutral buoyancy. Their bodies merge as one with the deep waters, allowing them to be so deep & swim as freely as they want to. These freedoms within this depth has triggered yet another layer of fear to be peeled from my being. I find myself once again, surrendering to the unknown and allowing myself to fall apart.

Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs,  I admitted to my son the other day when he called to say hi and I spontaneously broke out in tears. I told him that God gives his toughest battles to the fiercest warriors. Witnessing my Mom’s broken heart, the pain from having COVID-19 herself and not being able to hug my siblings hurts. Period. My dear friend Sophia reminded me soon after my Dad passed that I don’t always have to be the strong one. Boy, these past three weeks have shown me that truth in the most profound of ways. Again, my dear readers I retreat to my words and my paints.

This past weekend was quite cathartic as I sat out on the patio, watching the rain and painting. These are my latest poems, all speak to the strong emotions that my heart is acknowledging and releasing. My only job is observing them and allowing them. Keeping my healer’s heart and soul in balance. One of my soul sister’s and I had a great chat on Saturday about the power of vulnerability as a healer. Honestly, I myself have more respect for those who can admit their struggles than the constant “love and light” crowd that tend to be found spiritually bypassing those of us who are doing the deep inner work that explores the pain. My heart is in pain yet I know it’s a temporary situation in order to strengthen me. To live life without my Dad. To face life’s challenges minus my life partner for the time being. To rely solely upon myself and know that I’m constantly supported by the Divine. To embrace being pure magic. To remember who I am as a child of God who graciously serves Him.

“Dark night of the soul”
Acknowledging and releasing
Peeling another layer of fear
Wiping the slate clean

On Sunday, the sun was shining brightly as I went out for a run. As I approached the nature preserve near the park I run in, I looked up to see my Dad’s spirit flying overhead as a short-tailed hawk. Moments later I looked down and right  there, in the middle of the sidewalk was a beautiful lapis lazuli stone! A reminder, a gift from Dad to always speak my truth and stand in my power. I use this stone regularly to balance my throat chakra and I just so happened to have transplanted mine that morning. Lapis luzli is a powerful stone that encourages self-awareness and taking charge of your own life. It helps us to express ourselves safely, empowering us without holding back, and brings the qualities of honesty, compassion, and integrity. Indeed Divinely timed, guided, protected and unconditionally loved.

Thanks Dad💙

A theme that has been present for me during this time is water. Ah, how water does elevate the pressure and the sheer weight of these feelings, assisting in the flow of them. I want to share with you dear ones this beautiful song. While you listen to it, visualize the power of the ocean washing away all your fears. Namaste.

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

This is me, I am Ladysag77

In two days I will celebrate my 43rd birthday and in light of where we are in this pandemic, it’s looking like I will be ringing in this one without the love of my life. I’m not going to sugarcoat my feelings, after everything I have experienced this year, I have hit my breaking point with patience. I’m incredibly sad and disappointed that we can’t be together. I also thought this was an opportunity to share with you my dear ones the  mixture of emotions I’m experiencing right now. I always say,”if you can feel it, you can heal it”. Currently, as I revealed in my last post,  I’m surfing the waves of intense emotions impacted by heartache and loss. I know intuitively that this time in my life will teach me more about my journey and I will be ok. Right at this moment however, I am not ok. If you all know me by now, I wear my heart’s vulnerability out loud and on my sleeve. This post is me. Present moment. Rainbow of feelings.

I woke up Saturday morning with a spring in my step and a feeling of exuberance. The weather here was gloriously sunny and I headed out for a run. As I listened to my playlist featuring some favorite tunes from my teenage years, I was hit with a strong sense of nostalgia and soul. I stopped off at a coffee shop to write this poem that was bursting from my heart to be heard.

Being soulful is the only way to live

A few hours later, as the darkness of night approached, I felt the pangs of sorrow over the loss both my Mom and I are experiencing. Being an intuitive empath can be tricky when I’m surrounded by energy I know isn’t solely my own. Obviously, my Mom is heartbroken by the loss of my Dad, her life partner for 44 years. She has also been dealing with having contracted COVID-19 herself and has been bed ridden. I am safe and have thankfully tested negative. The past two weeks have truly been a challenge for both of us. Before I fell asleep Saturday night, I penned this poem which articulates the grief both of us are feeling.

Grief

Yesterday, I checked out by calling a mental health day for myself and didn’t get out of bed. Since the beginning of 2020, I haven’t taken many days off. More specifically, since becoming a shaman in September, I have taken exactly 0 days off. Yesterday, I binged Netflix and ate some of my favorite snack foods. I napped for hours. I kept to myself. It was awesome. This morning I awoke to rain here in South Florida. I decided to share this video of myself on all my social media platforms which is featured in the introduction of my latest book, “My Soul’s Light”. This is me, Maria Teresa, aka Ladysag77. I am a survivor who is thriving after facing many challenges throughout my life. I view the world in an unique way. I’m living my soul’s purpose and feeling my authentic spirit for the 1st time. Life is a gift. It’s never easy yet I choose to see the extreme beauty and be grateful for the many blessings I have. When you walk where I’ve been my dears, you learn to appreciate the gift of presence. I’m here and I’m alive. I make no apologies for who I am. I love myself and I hope to inspire others by my life’s testimony of healing.

This is me

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

The Time is Ripe for Change

This is written by a fellow blogger whom I adore. Please read carefully and follow her at https://soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com/ We share a lot of the same concepts and ideas as well as the name, Maria. This post outlines how our world is shifting into higher consciousness on a collective scale will take time. It’s coming my dears yet we must be patient with ourselves and others.

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

I wanted to cover a topic that has been given a lot of air time, because there can be misunderstandings. Donald Trump represents the mental aspect of humanity, that doesn’t want to concede control.  That part of the collective consciousness that has disowned the feminine, the heart and the soul.  He is the last vestiges of a […]

The Time is Ripe for Change
Spirituality

Life is what you make it

I’d like to start this post by recognizing that there is indeed too much pain and suffering in our world. The pandemic we have endured for most of 2020 is nowhere near being efficiently managed in my country and our election remains unresolved as far as the current powers that be are concerned. All of that aside, life is full of choices and real change starts with numero uno. YOU. For goodness sakes, turn off the damn television and concentrate on how you can make yourself a better human being than you were yesterday. My dear readers, I’m being blunt here for emphasis. Change starts within ourselves. Nobody is coming to save you. Learning how to love oneself and practicing self care are the first steps in creating real change. Be the change you want to see in the world. It all starts with self. Stop thinking you can change or control anyone else. No matter what else is going on, only you can take the best care of you. Your job is you. Period.

Now that I got that off my chest, I want to share with you all that my 4th book of poetry, “My Soul’s Light” is available now on Amazon via the link I share at the bottom of each of my posts. I’m extremely proud of it, this is my masterpiece (so far) and my prayer is that its messages of love and kindness spread far and wide. Alchemizing the wide spread fear, hate and evil deeds done all over our world is where love conquers. These poems highlight my belief that only love will change our world. Love is the answer.

If you’ve been following me for awhile, you’re aware of the challenges that I’ve overcome. Severe trauma, abuse, suicide attempts, hospitalizations, homelessness, divorce and estrangement from my children…none of my life has been easy yet I never allowed it to turn me bitter. In fact, it served as an initiation to where I find myself today as a healer. It took hard work, determination, picking myself off the floor and deciding to never quit on myself. Abolishing any victim mentality and negative mindsets in order to be my own hero. Researching my own treatments, studying whatever I could, experimenting with different medications and therapies but most of all following my own intuition. My soul has compelled me to keep going, following my authentic spirit and never allowing someone else to make the important decisions in concern of my health. I tried everything I could to find wellness. Living with the light of love I embody now is a choice. I wasn’t going to rest until I achieved my own inner peace.

I vow to keep on transforming and healing. That’s our job here in life too. I’m strict about my self care routine and my boundaries. If others pushback, that tells me that they don’t have my best interests at heart and I keep going. I’ve completely changed my life and a lot of people and places didn’t make the cut. It takes a lot of courage to transform. Not everybody will be ok with your awakening my dears. Do it anyway. Trust me. Choose you, choose life!

In order to promote the poems in the book and relive the poetry slam moments of this year, I’ve been recording myself reciting many of them. All of these poems are special to me and are 100% powered by love.

Lessons
Divine Reverence
Transformation

I’m so blessed and grateful to Divine timing. I came back home to South Florida in time to help my parents. My Dad who is 87 and fell last week is now in a rehab facility. We also learned that he has Alzheimer’s disease. I’ve conducted two very profoundly transformative healing sessions with my Mom that are helping her prepare for what’s inevitably to come. At 76 years old, she’s having a spiritual awakening and it’s beautiful to witness. My parents have been married for 45 years and are a testament to the power of love and commitment. My Dad provided an amazing life for us. My siblings and I were given the world and it’s my opportunity now to give back to them. I’m working on my Dad remotely to prepare his soul and ease the transition he is undergoing. My dears, life is short and oh so stunningly beautiful and precious. Treat each day like the gift it is. For love’s sake.

Spread love today, not tomorrow

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77

Spirituality

Welcoming “My Soul’s Light”

I’ve been busy building the manuscript and have almost finished with the editing process for my fourth labor of love, a book of poetry with the most amount of poems in it that I have ever published. These 75 offerings were all written between June and late October of 2020 for my latest book, “My Soul’s Light”. I’m extremely proud of them. My poems are like my children and I have created careful tender loving moments in birthing them.

The ones chosen for this book are mostly channeled from the holy trinity of Archangels Gabriel, Michael and Raphael. It’s only in the editing process that I understand their depth. I humbly and honorably serve as the conduit, the messenger for Spirit or Divine, whichever you choose to call it. As a medium I am picking up on the nuances in the intetactions between people and nature. I’m drawn to intense energy like a moth to a flame and to make sense out of it all, my mind processes in metaphors and rhymes.

I shared a video of me reciting “Soul Strings” for my Instagram account along with a brief description of what inspired it. This poem explains what it feels like to be a shaman while in a trance during a healing session. As a dancer and an artist, I look at this energetic exchange as a dance with Spirit fueled by God. Such a humbling honor to use my many psychic abilities as the tools that help others to heal.

A grand dance with Spirit
“Soul Strings”

My goal is to have this done before my 43rd birthday next month. I will be announcing the official release soon. I’ve spent so much time working diligently all year on integrating my soul since its awakening in June 2019. Now I help others awakened their souls during the shamanic healing sessions I hold. I’ve come full circle my dears.

In light and in shadow, always with love. If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 3 books of poetry please click the link below.
https://linktr.ee/Ladysag77