Grief and loss, Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 2

Today marks six months since my Dad passed over into the world of spirit. Writing a book is a very cathartic experience. The poems in this collection for my 5th book entitled, “My Soul’s Journey ” were originally written between early November 2020 through March 2021, documenting the time shortly before my Dad’s passing up until the first days of Spring. While I write this manuscript, I’m reliving memories and feelings that are all still so fresh while running through the gamut of emotions. Writing is and always will be where my soul emerges from a place of confusion and then rises to clarity, like the tone of a singing bowl, as I process through all of my senses. My intention is to honor both my Dad and myself by publishing the poems that helped me understand my role as a shaman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a friend through the most amazing yet painful times of my life.

I focus often on how it’s important to allow the lessons life has for us to teach us to embrace ALL aspects, from as many perspectives as can be gleamed from for the wisdom each of them holds. As I transcribe each poem, I’m reminded of the environment from which my words were birthed. What sparked the message to come through and how did writing each poem help me to understand myself in the moment. Often I find myself bursting into tears as I allow the medicine in the message to wash over my soul again, but in a deeper and more profound way having put space between the time it was written until now. This book is different because I took a deliberate pause after writing these poems for almost two months before beginning this manuscript. For the previous four books, I wrote the poems and immediately thereafter the manuscript was constructed and published. This book serves to teach me a bigger lesson, one my soul has been striving to learn for many, many years. Patience.

While following the many steps it requires to build a manuscript, I don’t write a lot of original new works. However, a kindred spirited friendship and sisterhood that began right here on WordPress, evolved from a deep resonance of soul recognition and purity of love thus inspiring me to do a collaboration. Ace of http://fearlessfreesoul.com and I immediately connected at the end of last year because our writing styles are so similar. We both use love with the absence of fear as our medicine and magic. She creates the most amazing videos on empowerment and positivity. Her old soul spirit instantly reminded me of my youngest son Miles and our relationship grew from commenting on one another’s posts to a personal correspondence by text and voice clips. I have never collaborated with another writer before and I am truly honored to do so with such a gifted writer with such a big heart! Our duet is a match made in heaven,, divinely timed and powered! These are two of the poems we wrote together this past week and I’m filled with such joy to share them with you all here.

It’s important to allow myself breaks in between all the work it takes to write a book. You my dear readers know how much I love to spend time dancing and listening to music because it fires up my spirit while setting it free. May these three dance videos bring you joy and laughter as it served my heart good to make them.

Salsa anyone?
Love Foolosophy
I love the way my finger cymbals sound with this song, “Dancing by the River” Manish Vyas

Please check out two new features in the menu tab, one is a gallery of some pictures including my healing crystal grids and a video explaining my healing sessions. The other is a collection of testimonials from my clients on how our sessions have impacted their healing journey. Remember my dear ones, every day do whatever you feel brings your song of self out and sing it loudly for all the world to hear!

Sing, sing your song

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 1

My dear readers, I have commenced building the manuscript for my fifth book of poetry entitled “My Soul’s Journey”. I’m dedicating this one to my Dad since all of the 87 poems were written after his death and honor the number of years he spent on the Earth in physical form. The number five symbolizes change and while writing this book I have embarked upon the most amazing change and chapter of my own journey! Healing both myself and others through the art of shamanism allows everything I have intuitively known and felt fall into place. My life now after 43 years, finally makes sense! The number forty-three symbolizes success in all areas of life, the kind achieved through hard work, strong will and patience that comes with a great understanding, knowledge and nobility. Life presents us many opportunities to learn and elevate our soul through each moment to see how ALL of it serves for our highest good and greatest healing.This is my time and I am here to claim every ounce of joy, inner peace and tremendous love for life!

This month I have been focusing on my Sacral chakra, healing old wounds left by emotional upheaval and past trauma. Recently I found myself triggered by an assignment for the course in sound healing I was taking. It helped me to realize that I was attempting once again to prove something, validate my worth and feel good enough. After tapping into my intuition and coming to terms with the intention for seeking the certification in the first place, I had an ah-ha moment realizing that continuing with the course was not going to serve my best interest. This was a life lesson shining light upon an mindset that no longer fits who I am today and what I believe. This is an old tape playing an offbeat tune. Hitting eject, I asked myself why was I taking the course in the first place? What was this course going to add to my life?

Celebration of the colors and functions of the chakra system

There are a few factors that contributed to my final decision. My own attention to focus in and stay engaged with an online course for sound was a major challenge because I found the platform itself to be boring. Mainly however it was what the instructor said to me when I told him his course wasn’t for me that proved to me I had made the right decision. He accused me of not being able to provide a therapeutic environment because of my own emotional instability after the assignment was questioned. Whether it was a communication breakdown or misunderstanding, what became apparently clear to me was that questioning his assumed authority triggered his own ego and displayed a character defect that resulted in a judgement of a student. Has no one dropped his course before or not wanted to continue? That’s not how I operate as a teacher. I conduct myself as a guide for each of my student’s journey while learning the art of shamanism. Holistic healing is an intuitive art, whether in sound, art, energy, or crystals etc. It shouldn’t be based on financial gain. My intention is each individuals highest good and healing for their unique journey. It became completely clear we weren’t on the same page and that’s OK. Not everybody is my flavor nor I their cup of tea. Honestly, I felt right away from watching his videos that I couldn’t learn from him. My first thought was to react to his opinion of me and then my higher self, my soul whom I call Serena, stepped forward and reminded me I don’t need to prove my journey to anyone. I’m no longer interested in approval or acceptance from others. Doubting my own gifts is an old mindset pattern and no certification is necessary for me to do what I intuitively do in shamanic sessions. Sound healing is already a part of what I do naturally. I am determined to find another resource for knowledge of what I want to learn. I wrote a reactionary email and then just as quick as I wrote it, deleted it. Moving on.

What became crystal clear is that for all of my life, I wasn’t the one accepting me. I was doubting my own worth, gifts and power which blocked trust, acceptance and love of myself. I blindly believed the opinions and judgments of others. Awakening has created radical shifts that allow me to question what truly is best for me while healing and recognizing my authentic voice over these past two years. This is an ongoing cycle of integration as I forgive, surrender, release and accept, finally I’m celebrating all the pieces of me! I tell my clients that “we can’t outsource love, we must each fill our own cup of happiness, inner peace and love”. My own words rang like a bell in my head!

Locked in and loving myself

Living as an open psychic channel for Spirit has created gaps in my life where I felt completely lost for many years. Self medicating through addiction to substances and maladaptive coping behaviors further distanced my soul from my being. It felt like I was on a permanent vacation from life, muted and numb. Existing behind a wall of my own creation. I was an award winning actress at what I thought “normal” looked like and that was the mask I wore for thirty-five years. These t-shirts suit me to a T. This poem sums it all up beautifully.

Dressed by soul

Nowadays I lean into what allows me to feel free and happy. I express this best through movement, dance, yoga, painting and of course my writing. Here are my latest video shorts to the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I dare you not to smile!

Jazz Happy
Tap Happy

The final thought on this is that this emotional experience has taught me that no one but me needs to accept me! There’s no more hiding, trying to be someone else or denying the rainbow unicorn I am. My purpose is to shine love and light through my soul. Today I feel happy knowing this in my heart. I hope I made you smile!

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, Spirituality

Home is where the heart is

What does being home mean to you? Gaius Plinius Secundus, a Roman philosopher better known as Pliny the Elder (or just Pliny to his friends) said “Home is where the heart is.” Almost two thousand years later, who would have thought home is where the heart – and other organs – could also be monitored and managed. This phrase means that no matter who you are with or where you are in the world, your family and home holds the deepest affection and emotional pull. It is the place where you have a foundation of love, warmth, and happy memories. It might not always be the building itself, but being near your loved ones.

After my trip to Rhode Island, I have been processing a lot of what my life has been like since leaving a place I called home for thirteen years. I had many reasons to leave and I thought for so long that I couldn’t go back. After ten years of moving around constantly, healing in psychiatric hospitals (both inpatient and outpatient) and a stint in rehab which lead to spiritual experiences that sparked another Kundaluni awakening (the 1st one was in 2011) I know home is in my heart. My heart is front and center, open wide and I finally feel secure in expressing myself from this place no matter where I live. The phrase, “no matter where you go, there you are” suits me. You can’t ever escape your own truths, trust me my dear readers because I tried desperately to erase who I am.

Nowadays I embrace my both my strengths and weaknesses, weirdness and philosophical depths, extra sensory gifts and soul truth. We are upon the eve of a New Moon that begins at 7PM EST tomorrow May 11, 2021. The number eleven is significant because it’s double 1 which stands for new beginnings. The Divine number of this date is two which symbolizes balance and partnerships. The planetary alignment has Jupiter in the zodiac house of Pisces. The last time this occurred was in 2010-2011. The personal significance for me is that was the period of time when my first Kundalini awakening occured. This type of awakening is defined as a surge of Divine feminine energy that spirals through the chakra system causing such symptoms as waking up at random hours of the night, sweating, crying, or even literally feeling an intense rush of energy going up your spine. You feel a sudden need to make radical changes in your life.

For me, this lead to a series of severe mental breakdowns ending in a suicide attempt. All completely necessary and now ten years later I look at as a gift of desperation that propelled me along the journey to reclaim my soul. This time around I feel whole, finally having claimed my calling as a shaman. The sessions I have held lately bring me to my knees in awe of the immense power to heal both myself and others bestowed upon me by Spirit.

The poems I write are guided messages for either myself or clients, channeled from a wide array of Spirits. The movement I cultivate as my soul’s medicine aids my own healing and my intention for sharing it is to bring hope that can serve others and inspire change. Ten years ago I was drowning myself in alcohol, dissociative episodes, over exercise and work. Dancing to the piano version of “Chandelier” by Sia, is my crawl out of that darkness into the light. A reminder to always hold onto hope.

Never let go of hope my dear readers, do whatever you need to to keep this energy alive in your being

You know by now by reading my blog posts how much I love spending time out in nature. The beach is my happy place and where I go to gain serenity, clarity and inner peace. Tapping into the biological connection we share with the mighty ocean is how I reconnect to my own strength and power. How do you reconnect with yourself my dear readers?

South Inlet Park, Boca Raton FL

May this New Moon allow you to pick up from where you began back in 2010-2011, planting seeds for your security at home and healing your heart. We are coming out of hibernation mode, stretching our limbs and climbing into new skin with a fresh start. Springtime is in full bloom and is readily available in the heart by choosing to love yourself.. Forgiveness of the past and reclaiming what you know to be true in your heart. This is the continuous cycle of healing from the human condition. I originally wrote the poem “Transformation” on July 18, 2020. At that point I was just starting the apprenticeship hours of healing others through the art of shamanism. Exoanding now upon those intentions, with this New Moon I’m dreaming big, shooting for the stars and opening myself wide to the miracles the Universe provides us everyday upon waking us up with the Sun and tucking us into sleep by the Moon.

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, personal development, Spirituality

This is me

My dear readers, I have been moving through a lot of deeply felt feelings and old emotions. Healing is an ever unfolding journey that reveals truths that at times are hard to face. Bravely, with careful attention to grace, employing patience with myself, I rise each day to uncover more of these truths. It’s my soul’s purpose to keep leaning in with a great curiosity, shining light upon all my life’s experiences. Writing is how I have always processed these events and moments. I believe whatever I am brought to is something to learn from. I will continue to show up here, being authentic and real. This is me.

I haven’t felt much like writing lately in the week since my last post. I’m in a space of observation and exploring, tuning out the noise of technology and tapping into the natural world. I’m unsure how much I will be writing now that I’ve begun a certification in sound healing therapy. I may just be constructing posts with my poetry alone, without the accompanying storyline of where they are plucked from.

What I know is this, it all serves in the healing process, with love and without judgement. We are all continually changing. I’ve learned by allowing the healing to penetrate fully, to solidify the basis for understanding the human condition, I must keep acknowledging, surrendering, releasing and accepting what is. This is me. This blog is my testimony and ongoing story of my triumphs over the traumas I have faced. I am truly grateful and blessed to share this space with so many artists and creative souls. I value each one of you as you help contribute to my own journey of healing and self discovery. From the bottom of my heart, I love you.

My story, this is me
Seasons of life

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

Healing, personal development, Spirituality

New Beginnings, My Dance with Spirit

The saying, “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have” is singing through my mind as I compose this post my dear readers. It’s been two weeks since I made the hardest choice in my life to end the relationship with a man I know is my true love and soul mate. The strength, power and sheer freedom I have experienced is more than I can accurately articulate into words! I’m dancing in the sunlight of my spirit which further awakens depths within my soul that are new and exciting! I’m unleashing myself into the fires of creativity with passion for whatever is to come. The energy I feel is electric and empowering as the love vibration rises to new heights!

April is here and with it comes a freshness that has me skipping along my path as it unfolds. Ideas are springing forth with music and color bursting into light as I express myself by writing, dancing and the ritualistic practices of the shaman warrior I am. I’m about to embark upon a one year sound therapy certification and I’m thrilled to learn more about the therapeutic healing that has changed so much for my sensitive being. I regularly use different sound frequencies when I meditate to heal, align and balance the seven main chakras in the body. I love to learn and welcome all opportunities to extend my knowledge in this area. I’m also taking part in a clinic for stand up paddle boarding at the local beach I frequently ride my bike to. I first tried the sport five years ago and fell in love with it. It aligns perfectly with my yoga and ballet practice plus the added enjoyment of being on the water.

God’s continuous love has me looking up with so much gratitude for this soul journey

I’ve started adhering to nudges from the Universe to unplug from technology more regularly. I’d much rather keep my face in nature’s beauty or in a book lately. Rereading some of my favorites from Maya Angelou and new books like “How To Do The Work” by Dr. Nicole La Pera aka “the holistic psychologist” on Instagram is about how to reconnect with your authentic self and heal as the powerfully magical beings we are. I’ve been following her and adding many of the techniques she shares on social media into my healing practices for two years now. Life continues to open up possibilities to me that I never thought possible to experience before and I am ready to live life as the gift it is! Living is an art and I am the painter of my own masterpiece. So are you my dear readers, be an original because our world needs you!

We are all more than “Smile and Be Pretty”
Da LA Soul’s “Me, Myself & I

Along with the new classes I’ll be taking, I booked a long anticipated trip up to Rhode Island to see my two boys. I haven’t been “home” (I resided there for 13 years) in almost 5 years and I am beyond excited to reconnect with my boys, dear friends and the place that holds many memories for me. Some of them are painful and traumatic yet I know I’m strong enough now to face them and take back the power I left in that place when I felt broken and empty of spirit. I moved away in 2013 to heal from a painful divorce that I initiated, a destructive pattern of abusing myself with drugs and alcohol and to create a fresh start in life. That’s when I moved here to my family’s second home in South Florida. A few months after moving here and one year after my divorce, I met my ex partner, through mutual friends. The past eight years has been a climb, back to sanity and wholeness. Honestly, the me I am now is the most alive and whole I have ever felt in all my life!

Becoming Me

I’m unafraid and finished with hiding who I really am. The confusion has vanished, an amnesia of sorts, as I awaken every day more excited than before for what the day holds. Remaining curious, inquisitive and open for the mysteries that await me. My creative passion drives me and when something comes to my mind, I do it! Like this video, I bust loose and shake off everything that doesn’t serve my highest good and healing.

“Bustin Loose”
Shake off what no longer serves my dear ones ❤
This book has been a part of my daily practice of reflection for years now
Standing I my power
Feeling everything
Hard truths
Soul Journey
Listen to your Soul Cry

Lastly my dear readers, I will leave you with a short video, a glimpse into the healing that I practice and share with my clients through crystals, the wisdom of tarot and the Light powered energy that is Divinely provided by Spirit.

Healing magic bathed in Full Moon brilliance

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.