The circle game of healing

“Cyclical nature of life continously echos a resounding rhythm. Reverence of soul teaches me how to begin”. This is a quote from my poem “Peace, love and joy” and it perfectly captures my feelings in this moment. Spring has sprung and a new life has begun as I embark upon a new adventure. It’s an exciting time for me my dear readers so I must admit I was blindsided when triggers of fear and old thought patterns started whispering their lies of my brokenness again.

The experiences of deep healing over the past three years have taught me to closely inspect all aspects of my being, mind, body and soul. I’m currently putting a book promotion together for my latest book of poetry, “My Soul’s Dance, Accepting the shadows while embracing the Light: poems about death and rebirth”. I’m grateful to have these messages at my fingertips to reference, regroup and recenter myself back into the truth. “Corners of Love” is a poem inspired by the conscious breathwork and energy attunement sessions I practice regularly. Laughing at myself for taking all the pressure too seriously! Of course a new environment filled with new people and things to learn would trigger unnecessary fear! Healing myself has taught me to love myself back into balance. I’m not my past failures. I’m always beautifully and divinely whole, it’s my thinking that required a course correction as the mental chatter of ego grew too loud overpowering the voice of my highest self. She has a name my dear ones. I refer to my soul as Serena. Last week it felt like life turned up the volume on ego and the judgements of others I absorbed from the past. Their voices played loudly in a loop telling me the lies that began to plant illusions of insecurities. These weeds needed pulling so I took a break from their static and turned to meditation and breathwork. These self care practices combined with the voices of love coming from my family and friends began to settle me down! Once again, I could see I was putting far too much pressure upon myself and the old coping mechanisms of perfection were threatening my inner peace.

Life is a continuous cycle of learning from our past experiences and growing within the arms of love. The love I give myself is what awakens me to believing I am absolutely worthy of receiving abundance in my life. Somewhere along the way, after many years of trauma, I began to believe the opposite. That version of myself is no longer the vision I see in the mirror. This new cycle brought in uncomfortability and my first response was to pile on more pressure and beat myself up! “There is a wisdom of head and a wisdom of heart”, one of my favorite poet’s Charles Dickens said that. I believe it’s the discernment of the two that leads to the wisdom from our own souls. Breath and meditation allow me to feel into what is trying to come to the surface. Stagnant energy that’s been awaiting an answer from my body. In the past I would overextend my body by overexercising and distract myself with substances to block out the messages. Healing has provided me the space to listen instead to my intuition and the guidance of my Spirit team. Setting the intention to once again believe in myself and know I am worthy of receiving love. I can feel it in the air and see it in the newly blossoming spring flowers outside my door. So much beauty is coming my way in the form of opportunities and new relationships. I don’t have to be afraid that I’m “too much” or “too weird” or “not ready” for others to see me for me. I don’t have to stay trapped in mind games. Today, I can show myself grace and have patience as I learn the new tasks I’m responsible for. I don’t have to betray myself by self sabotaging the wonderful new opportunity before me with fear!

This experience isn’t mine alone my dear readers, it is for all of us to learn from. Running through life, attempting to catch up in this invisible race and competition with one another, we succumb to the pressures around us by creating unrealistic expectations for ourselves and marrying ourselves to attachments that aren’t serving us. Totally forgetting our intimate connection to one another through our Light and life force. Time and healing has taught me to dance and laugh at these extremes within myself and not act upon impulse. The only person I am trying to be today is a more aligned version of myself than last week or last year. Today, I choose to tune into the songs of Spirit. I hear the voice of my Dad, my grandparents, all the ancestors and angels that have been guiding my soul for centuries. Circling back to the truth I uncovered upon my awakening three years ago. I am whole, I am healthy, I am a beautifully capable child of God. Divinely connected, protected, guided and eternally loved. That is the truth that plays loudly on repeat throughout my entire being, the music I rise and dance to.

Standing in my own power and inner strength by forgiving myself for the times I blamed my soul awakening for ending relationships. The truth is that I was hiding within others, not feeling worthy of my own dreams and aspirations. I became distracted with trying to fix and heal others. Today I know it all starts within me. Circling around the truth again has showed me how to put on my “big girl panties” while loving my inner child who gets frightened by new situations. Today, I hold her close and tell her that nobody will hurt her again. The pain and trauma is over now. Turn up that “Soul music” my friends and dance until your heart’s content!

Intentionally I open to new possibilities for love from a man. This is the soul connection and the kind of love I predicted in January of this year in the post https://emotional411017959.wordpress.com/2022/01/03/2022-is-the-year-for-love/?preview=true It’s coming with grand gusto and adoring gestures that I’ve always dreamed of. I’m a romantic, if you can’t tell by my writing my dear readers. Someday soon, a man will come into my life that will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. This man will be my equal, on my level of awakening awareness and be my true match. A soul partner to journey with and explore the adventures that life gifts us everyday. I’m ready and excited!

This poem describes the transformation I have undergone and continue to grow within. Healing from the human experience is a condition we are all learning from in this life on Earth. Our souls never die. We will go onto exist in other forms of life after we leave our physical bodies in this one. This is the grand circle of life. Listen to this song by Nightmares on Wax my dear readers. Tap into the higher consciousness within its message. Groove with the rhythm of feelings and the vibration of love. https://youtu.be/Vc-XzhnwpVc

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Maria@emotionalmusings.com
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In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.