Healing, Spirituality

My Soul’s Journey, Part 1

My dear readers, I have commenced building the manuscript for my fifth book of poetry entitled “My Soul’s Journey”. I’m dedicating this one to my Dad since all of the 87 poems were written after his death and honor the number of years he spent on the Earth in physical form. The number five symbolizes change and while writing this book I have embarked upon the most amazing change and chapter of my own journey! Healing both myself and others through the art of shamanism allows everything I have intuitively known and felt fall into place. My life now after 43 years, finally makes sense! The number forty-three symbolizes success in all areas of life, the kind achieved through hard work, strong will and patience that comes with a great understanding, knowledge and nobility. Life presents us many opportunities to learn and elevate our soul through each moment to see how ALL of it serves for our highest good and greatest healing.This is my time and I am here to claim every ounce of joy, inner peace and tremendous love for life!

This month I have been focusing on my Sacral chakra, healing old wounds left by emotional upheaval and past trauma. Recently I found myself triggered by an assignment for the course in sound healing I was taking. It helped me to realize that I was attempting once again to prove something, validate my worth and feel good enough. After tapping into my intuition and coming to terms with the intention for seeking the certification in the first place, I had an ah-ha moment realizing that continuing with the course was not going to serve my best interest. This was a life lesson shining light upon an mindset that no longer fits who I am today and what I believe. This is an old tape playing an offbeat tune. Hitting eject, I asked myself why was I taking the course in the first place? What was this course going to add to my life?

Celebration of the colors and functions of the chakra system

There are a few factors that contributed to my final decision. My own attention to focus in and stay engaged with an online course for sound was a major challenge because I found the platform itself to be boring. Mainly however it was what the instructor said to me when I told him his course wasn’t for me that proved to me I had made the right decision. He accused me of not being able to provide a therapeutic environment because of my own emotional instability after the assignment was questioned. Whether it was a communication breakdown or misunderstanding, what became apparently clear to me was that questioning his assumed authority triggered his own ego and displayed a character defect that resulted in a judgement of a student. Has no one dropped his course before or not wanted to continue? That’s not how I operate as a teacher. I conduct myself as a guide for each of my student’s journey while learning the art of shamanism. Holistic healing is an intuitive art, whether in sound, art, energy, or crystals etc. It shouldn’t be based on financial gain. My intention is each individuals highest good and healing for their unique journey. It became completely clear we weren’t on the same page and that’s OK. Not everybody is my flavor nor I their cup of tea. Honestly, I felt right away from watching his videos that I couldn’t learn from him. My first thought was to react to his opinion of me and then my higher self, my soul whom I call Serena, stepped forward and reminded me I don’t need to prove my journey to anyone. I’m no longer interested in approval or acceptance from others. Doubting my own gifts is an old mindset pattern and no certification is necessary for me to do what I intuitively do in shamanic sessions. Sound healing is already a part of what I do naturally. I am determined to find another resource for knowledge of what I want to learn. I wrote a reactionary email and then just as quick as I wrote it, deleted it. Moving on.

What became crystal clear is that for all of my life, I wasn’t the one accepting me. I was doubting my own worth, gifts and power which blocked trust, acceptance and love of myself. I blindly believed the opinions and judgments of others. Awakening has created radical shifts that allow me to question what truly is best for me while healing and recognizing my authentic voice over these past two years. This is an ongoing cycle of integration as I forgive, surrender, release and accept, finally I’m celebrating all the pieces of me! I tell my clients that “we can’t outsource love, we must each fill our own cup of happiness, inner peace and love”. My own words rang like a bell in my head!

Locked in and loving myself

Living as an open psychic channel for Spirit has created gaps in my life where I felt completely lost for many years. Self medicating through addiction to substances and maladaptive coping behaviors further distanced my soul from my being. It felt like I was on a permanent vacation from life, muted and numb. Existing behind a wall of my own creation. I was an award winning actress at what I thought “normal” looked like and that was the mask I wore for thirty-five years. These t-shirts suit me to a T. This poem sums it all up beautifully.

Dressed by soul

Nowadays I lean into what allows me to feel free and happy. I express this best through movement, dance, yoga, painting and of course my writing. Here are my latest video shorts to the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I dare you not to smile!

Jazz Happy
Tap Happy

The final thought on this is that this emotional experience has taught me that no one but me needs to accept me! There’s no more hiding, trying to be someone else or denying the rainbow unicorn I am. My purpose is to shine love and light through my soul. Today I feel happy knowing this in my heart. I hope I made you smile!

If you’re interested in a shamanic healing session, tarot card reading, my recorded meditations and other ritualistic services I provide or to purchase any of my 4 books of poetry please click the link below or click the Services tab in the menu on my website.
For a personalized autographed copy of any of my books, please send me an email and use my PayPal account for payment.
Maria@emotionalmusings.com
https://linktr.ee/Emotionalmusings
paypal.me/tinyd9

In light and in shadow, always with love. Namaste.

40 thoughts on “My Soul’s Journey, Part 1”

  1. Your understanding that our “being” can be disconnected from our “soul” is a new way for me to think and process — I am going to meditate on that a bit more. I am glad you had the strength to “represent”. And I am always fascinated by numerology and the spirituality that resides even in numbers, which often are not recognized as have a spiritual element. Good “stuff” as always, my friend. Love to you today, Jane

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    1. Happy I could introduce that concept for you to process. I believe my soul lay dormant for quite sometime within this vessel, my being. I created a tremendous storm within by neglecting its voice, drowning it with alcohol and other self destructive behaviors until it was ready to be heard fully. Trauma does a lot of damage in different ways for each of us. This is what has made sense for me. These past two years has been a journey of integration and putting the fragmented pieces of “self” together creating a wholeness and cohesiveness of the mind, body and spirit 🔺️ the trinity of it all. Yes, numerology is fascinating, that’s the way the Universe communicates with us. I believe everything is energy and holds a spiritual meaning. It’s all in how we perceive it to be. Happy I made you 😊 and reflect today dear Jane, love you❤

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    2. I was thinking about your comment some more and I want to add that for me, life as an intuitive and physical empath as always been very confusing. Knowing where I end and begin and others start….it’s my art that helps me to process and know where I am flowing and where it is that I go❤ This is the 1st time I my life that I’ve been able to make sense of any of this energy soup we are all swimming in together. I hope that helps my friend 😉

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  2. Maria, I absolutely love this post and your honesty, vulnerability and love for your journey! How amazing about your 5th book, what a magical way to honor your Dad, he is so proud of you…I know it!!! And thank you for your honesty in the valuable lesson you learned through the sound healing course. It is such a powerful Universal lesson to trust your gut and listen to your inner voice, and I’m so proud of you for doing so!!!! Your poems here are just beyond amazing, as always!!! Your posts are always filled with goodies of every kind that a soul and writer get lost in!! Keep inspiring and shining, my dear sister! The Universe and I are so lucky to have you 🖤🤗🤍

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    1. Big hugs Ace ❤ Thank you for calling my attention to your comment, WordPress 🤯 St times. This post was a definite labor of love and an ah-ha moment that I felt all could benefit from hearing. We do learn best from our own gut instincts😊 I’m very excited to share this book with the world. I’ve been sitting on these 87 poems for months now. I channel so many poems and I like to get a collection together and publish. This time around, I needed to sit a bit and have this last soul experience before I felt ready to build the manuscript. We are so blessed to be in tune with the loving guidance of the Universal flow. We learn so much and express even more just by paying attention and tapping in. We get what we give. Your loving kindness always makes me smile as our soul’s recognize one another. I bow my head to you my dear and say Namaste 🙏

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      1. Of course…WP is weird sometimes 🤪. Thank you so much for sharing your gift with us, you’re an inspiration!!! I’m very excited to see the book, it’s such a beautiful way to honor your Dad, and I’m sure each poem is stunningly beautiful! YES, it is such a blessing indeed! Stay well, my dear sister…much love 🖤🖤

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  3. Love you are on your next book again Girl! You’re rocking it!
    Lovely new poems authentically and powerfully expressed always❣️
    43 and coming into more power and self awareness.
    “The number forty-three symbolizes success in all areas of life, the kind achieved through hard work, strong will and patience that comes with a great understanding, knowledge and nobility”.
    Now, that was some weird response from the teacher. Hello.
    No worries. You’re gonna love Christine!!!
    Dance on and keep delighting❣️❣️❣️👏👏🌷

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    1. Awww thanks Cindy 😊 you and I both know that what others project is a reflection of themselves. He apparently has so of his own shadow issues to look at. I stand firm in my ability to conduct beautifully therapeutic sessions. I can see with my own eyes the difference my healing makes in others lives.
      This book is a huge labor of love and an honor for my Dad who is my #1 spirit guide. I’m incredibly excited to share it with the world. Dance on is definitely what I intend to do through it all mo matter what. Living out loud and loving myself along the way is the cherry on top ✨🎶🍒❤😁 Thank you for always rooting me on with your kindness, grace and love sister 😘

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      1. Yes, this is a fact I’ll say as connection is the way to the heart which he sooooo FAILED TO DO!!!
        Your dad is so proud and happy to have a book in his honor! What a great tribute that we could only hope for as parents.
        Do what we do best right! And dance, write and healing says it all. I’m a witness to that. pleasure always love💖

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  4. Isn’t it interesting how much more we are observing what we are doing? It doesn’t mean that we take action right away and “change the channel” due to other old patterns which may be in the way. But we notice so much faster that something may have a different lesson for us in store than what we thought first. And it is so thrilling to follow that guidance. Keep up your clear view, Maria!

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    1. It truly is!! I’m loving it❤ when I cease holding on and resisting what “I think” something should be and instead feel into it and flow My heart, I know what’s best for me next. I’m a person who because of circumstances was conditioned to react, stay on the defensive, protect myself etc. Nowadays I observe much more and respond. Sometimes doing or saying nothing at all is the most powerful action! We’re growing, evolving and intuitively becoming keen observers of what serves and what can be let go of. It all boils down to love💗 Our favorite subject and the only real thing there is💗
      Thank you for your love and support always as a soul sister and writer in this community 😁🙏✨

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      1. You are a very sensitive person, Maria. This reacting, staying in defense, protecting is one consequence of your personality. But you transformed it and turned your sensitivity into a constructive power. You are such a living proof. Thank you for being you💖

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  5. Congrats on building the manuscript for your next book- yay! And how very cool what you healed and learned about yourself while taking the sound healing course. Sounds like your instructor had an issue highlighted that he could have worked on as well. 😉 Yes, you will find the knowledge in a form that’s better suited for you.

    There have been a few courses I bought and didn’t work my way through for one reason or another. Especially during the first several years when I was new to energy healing I wanted to know everything about everything and was drawn to so many things. The classes and workshops I attended were so meaningful and purposeful. These days it’s more about connecting with my own inner knowing than ever before. I used to see psychics every now and then and have healers work on me. Today I work with people who are far along in their own personal evolution who merely help guide me to my own inner knowing.

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    1. Thank you sister 🙏 Yoir words here ring very true to my own journey. I have kept myself from myself for so long and now I know in a deeper way that everything I need is within. Yes I enjoy my circle of equally gifted sisters and we help each other along yet I feel you on the fact that I will find what’s right for me within these experiences. As a healer I feel we are to support the journey and at times when our ego gets in the way of another’s, it’s time to look within which was what I was intuitively feeling from this instructor. I’m grateful for this entire lesson. I compare bring in my wholeness and healed being as getting a new set of hears that I haven’t used before, like driving a car. I wanna try them all out lol 😆 we always get turned back to self, where the divine love is found❤
      Thank you for sharing your wisdom here, hugs 🥰

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    1. Thank you my friend, I most definitely will ❤ Your words bring such warmth, I feel the color orange through them 🧡 I didn’t share my most recent video adventures bit here’s a spoiler….I GOT ROLLERSKATES and I’m in 💗 more to come with that😁

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  6. This reinforces my feelings about the ever present transference and counter-transference issues ripe in the wisdom community. It’s difficult to see through sometimes, and is a conditioned state so can easily rise undetected. I was a therapist and as much as we tried to stay aware the ego sometimes shines through. That being said there are a lot of so called “teachers” who apparently have never looked at the issue. I love that you are true to your direction and aware of the traps and pitfalls. Thanks for this, a wonderful reminder to pay attention. Take care of you on your journey.

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    1. I love and appreciate everything about this comment Bryan! I had a wonderful mentor who was the best and most caring teacher I could have ever hoped for. She and I feel very strongly on how we are to remain guides in other’s journeys. I was taken aback but like I said not surprised because intuitively from the beginning of the course I felt something amiss with the instructor. I’m happy this occurrd early on and I could bow out gracefully. As you mentioned, it’s incredibly important to pay attention to one’s own journey and realign when needed. We are all humans, in this together just trying to figure it out. Thank you for your unwavering support and insights my friend. Love to you ❤

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  7. “My purpose is to shine love and light through my soul. Today I feel happy knowing this in my heart.” This is my heart, to know my purpose, shine love and light. This is my heart, to be happy, to be free. This is my heart, to know my worth, to know… my souls on a journey. Yes, this is my heart, hoping to make you smile! 😊Congratulations on the manuscript! 👍🏾

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  8. Friend, I have also found this to be a time of deep healing of old wounds. Some I can trace back to a time and situation and some I can’t. It has been profound to untangle what has come up.

    I see you. You are enough.

    Hugs, love and peace

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Here’s to our continued healing journey, peeling layers back to reveal more of our authentic voice. So much love to you Sarah❤ I’m happy to be on this adventure with you 😊
      May we shine as the light of love we are. You’re so fabulous and your words touch my soul, both in your comments and on your blog.

      Liked by 1 person

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